Post your favorite Simpsons Quotes!!

[Deeko]

Homer: Not a bear in sight. The bear patrol must be working!
Lisa: That's just spacious thinking dad.
Homer: Thank you.
Lisa: By your logic I can say this rock keeps tigers away.
Homer: How does it work?
Lisa: It doesn't.
Homer: uh huh.
Lisa: But you don't see any tigers do you?
Homer: Lisa, I'd like to buy your rock.

^Today's Quote of the Day...if the damn episode ever finishes downloading

 

[DnetMHZ]

Willie: "And thats how Willie waters. Now take the hoose."
Nelson: "The goose?"
Willie: "The hoose! The hoose!"
Nelson: "Like this?" (takes hose and starts spraying Willie)
Willie: "No! Turn off the noosle!"
Nelson: "The noodle? What noodle?"
Willie: "The noosle at the end of the hoose!"

 

[SSP]

THESE GOOGLES... THEY DO NOOOTHING!


DuffMAN.... can't breath.... oww no....

 

[Dufman]

Duffman is thrusting in the direction of the problem....ohhh yeah

duffman says a lot of things...ohhh yeah

my unkle died of croch dot....wigham

 

[isildur]

Mr. Burns: Well Smithers, another Friday night is upon us, What will you be doing? Something gay no doubt?
Smithers: Wha...? I...
Mr. Burns: You know, mothers lock up your daughters, Smithers is on the town!
Smithers: Eh, eh, eh, exactly sir.

 

[isildur]

Burns: I don't like being outdoors, Smithers. For one thing there are too many fat children.

 

[mpitts]

Duffman has got a BAD feeling about this.

 

[isildur]

Smithers: Sir, there may never be another time to say... I love you, sir.
Burns: Oh, hot dog. Thank you for making my last few moments on Earth socially awkward.

 

[KeyserSoze]

Originally posted by: amdmang
Duffman is thrusting in the direction of the problem....ohhh yeah

duffman says a lot of things...ohhh yeah

my unkle died of croch dot....wigham

The epsiode where Moe gets plastic surgery done, and looks different, he then goes to all the people that screwed him cuz of his looks, he suffocates Duffman.

Duffman: "Duffman, can't breathe."





KeyserSoze

 

[GasX]

Homer: Waitamin Waitamin Wait a minute... Lisa honey, are you saying you are never going to eat any animal again? What about bacon?

Lisa: No!

Homer: Ham?

Lisa: No!

Homer: Pork Chops!?

Lisa: Dad, those all come from the same animal!

Homer: Yeah right Lisa, a wonderful "magical" animal. Hehe.

 

[isildur]

Milhouse: And do you remember the time when Santa's Little Helper ate my goldfish, and you tried to convince me that i never had a goldfish... then why did i have the bowl Bart.... why did i have the bowl?

 

[GasX]

CLICK IT NOW!

MP3's galore of great soundbites!

 

[isildur]

Homer: Don't worry, getting eaten by a crocodile is just like going to sleep... in a giant blender.

 

[mpitts]

Originally posted by: Mwilding
CLICK IT NOW!

MP3's galore of great soundbites!

Nice!

 

[BooGiMaN]

Homer is smart S-M-R-T, Homer is smart.


Homer kicks out home alarms salesman.

Salesman: Can you really put a price on the saftey of your family?
Homer: Welll you'd think not, but here we are.

 

[GasX]

Originally posted by: mpitts

Originally posted by: Mwilding
CLICK IT NOW!

MP3's galore of great soundbites!

Nice!

An episode by episode guide to the MP3's I linked above.
I struck gold!

 

[KeyserSoze]

Originally posted by: Mwilding
CLICK IT NOW!

MP3's galore of great soundbites!

Someone give this man a beer!!!!






KeyserSoze

 

[FeathersMcGraw]

Originally posted by: KeyserSoze

Someone give this man a beer!!!!

Barney: Buy me a beer
Two bucks a glass
Come on, hurry,
I'm freezing my ass

Buy me a brandy
A snifter of wine
Who am I kidding
I'll drink turpentine.

Moe: Move it, you drunk
Or I'll blast your rear end
Barney: I found two bucks!
Then come in, my friend

Shari Bobbins: And so we leave
From this heartwarming scene
Bart: Can I be a boozehound?
Homer: Not 'til you're fifteen.

 

[KeyserSoze]

Originally posted by: FeathersMcGraw

Originally posted by: KeyserSoze

Someone give this man a beer!!!!

Barney: Buy me a beer
Two bucks a glass
Come on, hurry,
I'm freezing my ass

Buy me a brandy
A snifter of wine
Who am I kidding
I'll drink turpentine.

Moe: Move it, you drunk
Or I'll blast your rear end
Barney: I found two bucks!
Then come in, my friend

Shari Bobbins: And so we leave
From this heartwarming scene
Bart: Can I be a boozehound?
Homer: Not 'til you're fifteen.

Oh man, that was AWESOME!!!!
Thanx. I forgot about that episode altogether.




KeyserSoze

 

[MaxDSP]

Fidel Castro: They named a street after me in San Fransisco... [whisper whisper] It's full of WHAT!?!?

Marge: Homer, has the weight loss tape reduced your appetite?
Homer: Ah, lamentably no. My gastronomic rapacity knows no satieties.


Chief Wiggum: Ooh, and here, out of the mists of history, the legendary esquilax, a horse with the head of a rabbit and the body of a rabbit.

Lisa: Dad, why is the world such a cesspool of corruption?
Homer: [sotto voce] Oh, great... [speaking up] All right, what makes you say that?
Lisa: Well, in Sunday School, we learned that stealing is a sin.
Homer: Well, DUH.
Lisa: But everybody does it. I mean, we're stealing cable as we speak.
Homer: Oh. Look at this way, when you had breakfast this morning, did you pay for it?
Lisa: No.
Homer: And did you pay for those clothes you're wearing?
Lisa: No, I didn't.
Homer: Well, run for the hills, Ma Barker! Before I call the Feds!
Lisa: Dad, I think that's pretty spurious.
Homer: Well, thank you, honey.


Editor: I just had a thought. We're looking for a new food critic. Someone who doesn't immediately poo-poo everything he eats.
Homer: No, it usually takes a few hours.



Homer [beginning a speech]: If I could just say a few words... I'd be a better public speaker. <--------BEST EVER

 

[jonnyGURU]

From the newest Simpsons (aired last week for the first time):

Homer: Come on, Lisa. I know what things you like. Like, who's your favorite Traveling Wilbury? I bet it's Jeff Lynne.

 

[FoolishMcNasty]

Originally posted by: udonoogen
Ralph: ...they taste like...burning.

 

[XZeroII]

Marge: Is this the way you pictured married life?
Homer: Pretty much. Except we drove around in a van solving mysteries.

 

[slikmunks]

D'OH! NUTS! mhmmm..... donuts........

 

[JC]

Bob: Oh, come now! You've wanted to be Krusty's sidekick since you were 5! What about the buffoon lessons....the four years at clown college...
Cecil: I'll thank you not to refer to Princeton that way.



JC