YAGT: So my girlfriend wants to make "new" friends...

[AbAbber2k]

Originally posted by: Orsorum
You have not met either person in question, and you do not know them well enough to make any sort of substantive statement about their nature or what their actions mean.

You can't undo millions of years of sexual evolution. Women will ALWAYS be on the lookout for the bigger better deal (subconciously if not actively) until it's not feasible to replace a mate (once they're married/have children for instance).

You have plenty to gain. You have the psychological satisfaction of putting one over that bitch that hurt you those years ago. You act as though you're doing him some sort of favor. You're taking your own perception of a far-off situation and you're twisting it to fit your vision of what women are like.

Women cheat, so do men. Being cautious about it is no fault of anyone's. We ARE doing him a favor by getting him to look at the red flags and evaluate the situation.

I don't disagree that her actions are improper, and I agree that her insistence could be seen as a red flag. However, I would not think to judge her so absolutely given such limited information.

It's hard to see it any other way. Granted, we don't know EXACTLY how the OP handled this, but from his post he said he didn't want her to see him and she immediately accused him of being irrational. That ALONE is a red flag. She obviously doesn't care much about his feelings anymore if she can't understand that her hanging out ALONE with some guy she just met makes him uncomfortable/upset. If this is the case, she's probably considering making her way out of the relationship, or is at least becoming disinterested... and it's not uncommon for women to line up a new guy for when she's done with the other.

 

[Kadarin]

To the OP: How would she react if you told her you were going out to dinner "1 on 1" with some girl?

Why are we even having this thread? Your relationship is already over, whether the both of you know it or not.

 

[silverpig]

Ever since starting to date my current g/f I've made new female friends. I don't go out to dinner one on one with them though...

 

[Kadarin]

Originally posted by: HotChic

Originally posted by: frankgomez75

Originally posted by: HotChic

Originally posted by: Ronstang

Originally posted by: HotChic
Are you going to argue that the gist of this thread isn't "dump that bitch, she will inevitably cheat on you"? Or that those comments, in or out of context, were appropriate? Or that the context was any different than the comments themselves?

Whether you like it or not, she has either already cheated or is intending to. You can continue to argue from your naive point of view if you like but her actions speak for themselves to anyone with any amount of "people" experience. So, how many girls have you dated?

You have no proof that she has cheated or is going to, so your argument there is based on completely nothing but personal experience. And not everybody shares your experience. In my group of friends, we've never had a situation where anybody (male or female) cheated on a partner. So it DOES happen, some women DO have integrity, some people CAN have friendships with multiple genders.

You've invented this absolute rule that says, "all women do this," based on your experiences. Since I know women that have not cheated, I can refute your rule and say that not all women do that. I further advance the premise that all we have is 131 words on a single side of the situation and that that is not enough information to diagnose a problem, predict the future or make a statement about what a single human being with free will may choose to do.

Honestly, do you really think you can state exactly what is going to happen based on less than 200 words?

Statistically speaking.... a man and woman hanging out alone can lead to so much more.
I mean, would you have a problem with your man hanging out with other "NEW" females he just met. Furthermore... would you do anything about it if he proceeded to tell you that you are being irrational and made a "BIG" deal about it.

We may not have the full story... but lets just say.... most stories that start like this, don't end with "Happily ever after"

I've seen "GOOD" girls go out and act on their impulse. Men are just as guilty.... so I guess I'm speaking in regards to the situation itself. If the roles were reversed, I'd tell the girl most likely her man is prolly looking for some tail and she better assess her relationship rather quickly.

Fair enough.

To be honest, I don't have a problem when my husband hangs out with women, either in groups or one on one. Part of marriage to me is trust, and I wouldn't have married him if I didn't trust him that far. I would, however, expect him to respect my feelings and wishes in the matter (which is how I advised the OP - to request that she listens to how he feels about it regardless of what she thinks)

You appear to be somewhat naiive on this topic. Have you ever been through situations like this? I would suspect that your relationship with your husband is either atypical, or just hasn't been seriously tested yet.

 

[The Stigenator]

dump the bitch and move on.

 

[OVERKILL]

Originally posted by: Buck Armstrong

Originally posted by: Iron Addict
Couple months back, my girlfriend of 3 years, met a guy through one of her guy friends... Since then, they talked here and there at her work and found that they have another mutual friend... Now last week, he asked her to chill with him "1 on 1" and go out to dinner.. and she already said "yes"... Yesterday, she mentions that she's going out with this dude on Wednesday and i said no. Now she's all pissed and bitching about it... It's not like i dont let her hang out with guy friends, but this "new" guy just dont seem right logically... I already said i dont want her to go see him.. if she stills goes out with him ima break this long relationship off... what are ur thoughts..

1. You can't stop her.

2. You're right to dump her over it. He definitely wants to fvck her, and will if given the chance. Also, the fact that she is putting up such a fuss over it shows that she will probably be receptive to said fvcking. Your "male instinct" has been honed over thousands of years, and is correct on this.

3. I'm sure the more "modern" members (ie, pussy-whipped dickless PC faggots) of this forum will tell you you're a cromagnon for being threatened and trying to control her, but thats because their girlfriends are getting anally violated by a different drunken frat-boy every weekend, and they're powerless to stop it, and have been brainwashed that its OK to be a progressive patsy. Trust me, I've done enough violating to know the truth...they're all "decent old-fashioned women" until their options change.

4. You give in to this bvllsh*t, and you become part of the reason women who cheat get everything in divorce court nowadays. We've been so concerned about making everybody "equal" that we let the pendulum swing way too far in the other direction. The simple rule should be: penis or not, if you cheat first, the other person gets everything. Fair and simple, and if you disagree, you're the cheater.

Some of the forum members should enjoy this stereo-typing :thumbsdown:



OP, it's clear that she has intentions that indicate that she's no longer interested in your relationship. It's painfully obvious when she has no problems being 1 on 1 with a guy that she just met. Actions speak louder than words.

Unfortunately it's time to move on bro.

 

[letdown427]

Don't forget to nail her one last time. Film it. Oh and of course, SIIHP. If she says no, there's your grounds for leaving her right there.

There's still time to escape with some pride and self-respect.

If you have any fvck buddies or anyone like that, nail her, film it, and leave it playing on the TV for when she gets home.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

This is uncalled for.

Take a week to understand why.

 

[Stumps]

disregard this comment it's not funny

 

[Compton]

Originally posted by: Iron Addict
UPDATES!

I man'ned up and pour out my heart to bitch the fvck out of her after 2-3hrs of her nagging. She got more mad later but eventually got scared to see how pissed I was. Now, she's trying to say things in "nice" way... Btw, she says she's not gonna go see the dude anymore..

I was in a very similar situation, and it didn't have a nice ending. IMO, she has no business getting mad over something like this. She's probably mad because you see what her real motives are. I would dump her if I was in your shoes.

And if she nagged you for 2-3 hours about how she wants to see another guy, that is reason enough to dump her.

 

[Stumps]

Originally posted by: Compton

Originally posted by: Iron Addict
UPDATES!

I man'ned up and pour out my heart to bitch the fvck out of her after 2-3hrs of her nagging. She got more mad later but eventually got scared to see how pissed I was. Now, she's trying to say things in "nice" way... Btw, she says she's not gonna go see the dude anymore..

I was in a very similar situation, and it didn't have a nice ending. IMO, she has no business getting mad over something like this. She's probably mad because you see what her real motives are. I would dump her if I was in your shoes.

And if she nagged you for 2-3 hours about how she wants to see another guy, that is reason enough to dump her.

If she nagged for that long, she was trying to cover up the fact that she HAD been sprung...women don't like to be caught out and will try and cover it with nagging.

dude seriously forget what Hotchic and a few other have said, you REALLY do need to get rid of her, other wise when you post your next thread on how she cheated on you...all you will get is abig fat "I TOLD YOU SO"

Your situation is almost Identical to one I was in 6 years ago, you need to see the signs now and act.

Athough the out come of my past relationship was I that I let her go out with the other guy knowing full well what was going to happen...but I am a twisted soul and I exacted my revenge when she returned....nothing like her crap out in the rain being ruined...not to mention the fact that I caught up with the other guy a few days later and brung a world of hurt down on him.

I wouldn't recommend that last part....Assault charges and going to court sucks donkey balls.

 

[UncleWai]

Thread tomorrow by Iron Addict: "My GF of 3yrs dumped me"

After you bitch her up, she is going to find that guy and made sure she can have a relationship with him. Once that is confirmed your ass is dumped!
You just lost your turn to dump her, now you are the one getting dumped! zoink!

 

[mattocs]

Go with her and her new friend.

 

[freegeeks]

American dudes are full of hatred towards the ladies

 

[Stumps]

Originally posted by: freegeeks
American dudes are full of hatred towards the ladies

It's what happens when the equal rights movement asked the men of America to hand back their testicles....they got all resentful and angry...but then again it's getting like that in most western countries.

 

[PowderBB3D]

Weren't you the guy who posted a thread last week about how your GF denied you sex?

Not sure why that was locked to be honest, but I think putting two and two together here should be simple enough for pretty much anybody. It's time to move on bro.

 

[Iron Addict]

I'd just like to say that many here think that my gf has alterior motives but i can 100% say that she doesn't... The only concern was the dude's motive and the reason why my gf got mad was not because she couldn't hang out with the dude, rather i was too controlling or possessive.. Not as her bf, yet as a fellow human being, i can truly say that she is honest and altruistic person that wouldn't fit into many categories of "female" as you guys described...

 

[Iron Addict]

Originally posted by: PowderBB3D
Weren't you the guy who posted a thread last week about how your GF denied you sex?

Not sure why that was locked to be honest, but I think putting two and two together here should be simple enough for pretty much anybody. It's time to move on bro.

i think she was having her period..

 

[Stumps]

Originally posted by: PowderBB3D
Weren't you the guy who posted a thread last week about how your GF denied you sex?

Not sure why that was locked to be honest, but I think putting two and two together here should be simple enough for pretty much anybody. It's time to move on bro.

ahhhhh now it becomes all to clear.


you're relationship has already ended...you just don't know it yet

 

[DaiShan]

Did you ask her why it has to be one on one? To me, the only logical reason that she would go out with a guy alone and specifically not invite you is that your relationship is about over. TIme to Bush doctrine her and preempt the breakup IMO.

 

[stars]

repeat after me

i will not reply to a yagt again
the innocent and naive just become upset
while the broken and wiser try to help
the op will often contridict their original post
and will most likely do what he/she was going to do anyway
just to make the mistake again

 

[Stumps]

Originally posted by: stars
repeat after me

i will not reply to a yagt again
the innocent and naive just become upset
while the broken and wiser try to help
the op will often contridict their original post
and will most likely do what he/she was going to do anyway
just to make the mistake again

Always the way....so sad, but that is life

 

[DaiShan]

Originally posted by: stars
repeat after me

i will not reply to a yagt again
the innocent and naive just become upset
while the broken and wiser try to help
the op will often contridict their original post
and will most likely do what he/she was going to do anyway
just to make the mistake again

QFT. OP, you sound a bit self-destructive man. Stop making excuses for her.

 

[dxkj]

Originally posted by: Iron Addict
I'd just like to say that many here think that my gf has alterior motives but i can 100% say that she doesn't... The only concern was the dude's motive and the reason why my gf got mad was not because she couldn't hang out with the dude, rather i was too controlling or possessive.. Not as her bf, yet as a fellow human being, i can truly say that she is honest and altruistic person that wouldn't fit into many categories of "female" as you guys described...

you = denial

she wants to spend time with him alone, and gets mad when you show that you would rather her not....

 

[Iron Addict]

Originally posted by: dxkj

Originally posted by: Iron Addict
I'd just like to say that many here think that my gf has alterior motives but i can 100% say that she doesn't... The only concern was the dude's motive and the reason why my gf got mad was not because she couldn't hang out with the dude, rather i was too controlling or possessive.. Not as her bf, yet as a fellow human being, i can truly say that she is honest and altruistic person that wouldn't fit into many categories of "female" as you guys described...

you = denial

she wants to spend time with him alone, and gets mad when you show that you would rather her not....

The dude offer 1on1. My gf offered me to tag along with them if I couldn't trust the dude...

 

[dxkj]

Originally posted by: Iron Addict

Originally posted by: dxkj

Originally posted by: Iron Addict
I'd just like to say that many here think that my gf has alterior motives but i can 100% say that she doesn't... The only concern was the dude's motive and the reason why my gf got mad was not because she couldn't hang out with the dude, rather i was too controlling or possessive.. Not as her bf, yet as a fellow human being, i can truly say that she is honest and altruistic person that wouldn't fit into many categories of "female" as you guys described...

you = denial

she wants to spend time with him alone, and gets mad when you show that you would rather her not....

The dude offer 1on1. My gf offered me to tag along with them if I couldn't trust the dude...

Then what is the issue? Why didn't you tag along? Maybe he is cool and he would be a new guy friend for you and not be suspect?