YAGT: So my girlfriend wants to make "new" friends...

[MichaelD]

Originally posted by: ZOOYUKA

Originally posted by: Stumps

Originally posted by: MichaelD

Originally posted by: Ronstang
Anyone in a serious relationship has no business going out to a "1 on 1" dinner with someone of the opposite sex they have recently met. If they do then the current relationship is already toast from their point of view.

/QFT

Absolutely! And regardless of HIS intentions (though they are plainly clear to me) SHE should have more respect for you and your relationship than to even ask. :roll:

Trust = knowing that she won't be out at the club w/the girls, meet some guy and blow him in back seat of his car

Disrespect = your GF meeting some guy and then going out with him alone.

She should have told him; "I have a boyfriend that I love very much and I don't think it would be right to go out with you alone. But you're welcome to join my friends and I at the bowling alley on Friday."

this is what she should have done...but instead she agreed to meet him, which means one of two things that come to the same conclusion

A) she is/was curious

B) she wants to be with the other guy

both of these come to the same conclusion in the end...it's plain as day to see

you need to ask yourself this "Why did she agree in the first place to have dinner with him" and "Why didn't she offer to let you tag along in the first place"

you should know that this isn't normal relationship behavour....even blind freddy can see that.

Some girls are just naive. She might just want to be friends and completely oblivious to his intentions.

Naivetee (sp?) is no excuse for disrespect. If she's dumb as a houseplant, he should've explained his feelings to her and then she'd have understood.

BUT, it's quite obvious that this girl is a player and has done this type of thing before.

Hey, we've all been there and been played. I'm no exception. But you learn from your mistakes. If you don't. Then well, you're just stupid.

 

[SuperSix]

Originally posted by: MazerRackham
How about option C. It's about to be over soon so you might as well break up with her.

Sorry dude, but you are headed to Aloneville, Population: You.

QFT

Yep.. She needs something she's not getting from your relationship if she's even entertaining the idea of going on this date.

Sorry to say it - but I belive this relationship is over. Now - or in the relatively near future.

 

[Iron Addict]

Originally posted by: MichaelD

Originally posted by: ZOOYUKA

Originally posted by: Stumps

Originally posted by: MichaelD

Originally posted by: Ronstang
Anyone in a serious relationship has no business going out to a "1 on 1" dinner with someone of the opposite sex they have recently met. If they do then the current relationship is already toast from their point of view.

/QFT

Absolutely! And regardless of HIS intentions (though they are plainly clear to me) SHE should have more respect for you and your relationship than to even ask. :roll:

Trust = knowing that she won't be out at the club w/the girls, meet some guy and blow him in back seat of his car

Disrespect = your GF meeting some guy and then going out with him alone.

She should have told him; "I have a boyfriend that I love very much and I don't think it would be right to go out with you alone. But you're welcome to join my friends and I at the bowling alley on Friday."

this is what she should have done...but instead she agreed to meet him, which means one of two things that come to the same conclusion

A) she is/was curious

B) she wants to be with the other guy

both of these come to the same conclusion in the end...it's plain as day to see

you need to ask yourself this "Why did she agree in the first place to have dinner with him" and "Why didn't she offer to let you tag along in the first place"

you should know that this isn't normal relationship behavour....even blind freddy can see that.

Some girls are just naive. She might just want to be friends and completely oblivious to his intentions.

Naivetee (sp?) is no excuse for disrespect. If she's dumb as a houseplant, he should've explained his feelings to her and then she'd have understood.

BUT, it's quite obvious that this girl is a player and has done this type of thing before.

Hey, we've all been there and been played. I'm no exception. But you learn from your mistakes. If you don't. Then well, you're just stupid.

She's not the type u've mentioned. She's passive, yet super polite and friendly person. She had two 1-3yr long relationships before where she was cheated upon.

 

[lightpants]

Originally posted by: Stumps

Originally posted by: MichaelD

Originally posted by: Ronstang
Anyone in a serious relationship has no business going out to a "1 on 1" dinner with someone of the opposite sex they have recently met. If they do then the current relationship is already toast from their point of view.

/QFT

Absolutely! And regardless of HIS intentions (though they are plainly clear to me) SHE should have more respect for you and your relationship than to even ask. :roll:

Trust = knowing that she won't be out at the club w/the girls, meet some guy and blow him in back seat of his car

Disrespect = your GF meeting some guy and then going out with him alone.

She should have told him; "I have a boyfriend that I love very much and I don't think it would be right to go out with you alone. But you're welcome to join my friends and I at the bowling alley on Friday."

this is what she should have done...but instead she agreed to meet him, which means one of two things that come to the same conclusion

A) she is/was curious

B) she wants to be with the other guy

both of these come to the same conclusion in the end...it's plain as day to see

you need to ask yourself this "Why did she agree in the first place to have dinner with him" and "Why didn't she offer to let you tag along in the first place"

you should know that this isn't normal relationship behavour....even blind freddy can see that.

Prediction:
Three months from now, after she has dumped to OP, banged this new dude a few times, and he kicks her to the curb she will come crawling back with the old, "I just needed to see if you were really the right one for me... Now I know that you are the one I need to be with". The OP will thank her for coming back, promise to be a better boyfriend and they will live happily ever after...

Until she feels the need to make sure the OP is really who she wants.... again.

 

[Stumps]

Originally posted by: lightpants

Originally posted by: Stumps

Originally posted by: MichaelD

Originally posted by: Ronstang
Anyone in a serious relationship has no business going out to a "1 on 1" dinner with someone of the opposite sex they have recently met. If they do then the current relationship is already toast from their point of view.

/QFT

Absolutely! And regardless of HIS intentions (though they are plainly clear to me) SHE should have more respect for you and your relationship than to even ask. :roll:

Trust = knowing that she won't be out at the club w/the girls, meet some guy and blow him in back seat of his car

Disrespect = your GF meeting some guy and then going out with him alone.

She should have told him; "I have a boyfriend that I love very much and I don't think it would be right to go out with you alone. But you're welcome to join my friends and I at the bowling alley on Friday."

this is what she should have done...but instead she agreed to meet him, which means one of two things that come to the same conclusion

A) she is/was curious

B) she wants to be with the other guy

both of these come to the same conclusion in the end...it's plain as day to see

you need to ask yourself this "Why did she agree in the first place to have dinner with him" and "Why didn't she offer to let you tag along in the first place"

you should know that this isn't normal relationship behavour....even blind freddy can see that.

Prediction:
Three months from now, after she has dumped to OP, banged this new dude a few times, and he kicks her to the curb she will come crawling back with the old, "I just needed to see if you were really the right one for me... Now I know that you are the one I need to be with". The OP will thank her for coming back, promise to be a better boyfriend and they will live happily ever after...

Until she feels the need to make sure the OP is really who she wants.... again.

this is how it is in many cases...

 

[slsmnaz]

Originally posted by: Stumps

Originally posted by: lightpants

Originally posted by: Stumps

Originally posted by: MichaelD

Originally posted by: Ronstang
Anyone in a serious relationship has no business going out to a "1 on 1" dinner with someone of the opposite sex they have recently met. If they do then the current relationship is already toast from their point of view.

/QFT

Absolutely! And regardless of HIS intentions (though they are plainly clear to me) SHE should have more respect for you and your relationship than to even ask. :roll:

Trust = knowing that she won't be out at the club w/the girls, meet some guy and blow him in back seat of his car

Disrespect = your GF meeting some guy and then going out with him alone.

She should have told him; "I have a boyfriend that I love very much and I don't think it would be right to go out with you alone. But you're welcome to join my friends and I at the bowling alley on Friday."

this is what she should have done...but instead she agreed to meet him, which means one of two things that come to the same conclusion

A) she is/was curious

B) she wants to be with the other guy

both of these come to the same conclusion in the end...it's plain as day to see

you need to ask yourself this "Why did she agree in the first place to have dinner with him" and "Why didn't she offer to let you tag along in the first place"

you should know that this isn't normal relationship behavour....even blind freddy can see that.

Prediction:
Three months from now, after she has dumped to OP, banged this new dude a few times, and he kicks her to the curb she will come crawling back with the old, "I just needed to see if you were really the right one for me... Now I know that you are the one I need to be with". The OP will thank her for coming back, promise to be a better boyfriend and they will live happily ever after...

Until she feels the need to make sure the OP is really who she wants.... again.

this is how it is in many cases...

Unless the man does this (by MichaelD):

Sometimes, you've just gotta slap your pecker on the table and say "See this? I'm the MAN, dammit! You have disrespected my completely and royally f*cked up and you're SO OUTTA HERE! Now get out of my face and don't ever call me again!"

 

[MichaelD]

Originally posted by: Iron Addict

Originally posted by: MichaelD

Originally posted by: ZOOYUKA

Originally posted by: Stumps

Originally posted by: MichaelD

Originally posted by: Ronstang
Anyone in a serious relationship has no business going out to a "1 on 1" dinner with someone of the opposite sex they have recently met. If they do then the current relationship is already toast from their point of view.

/QFT

Absolutely! And regardless of HIS intentions (though they are plainly clear to me) SHE should have more respect for you and your relationship than to even ask. :roll:

Trust = knowing that she won't be out at the club w/the girls, meet some guy and blow him in back seat of his car

Disrespect = your GF meeting some guy and then going out with him alone.

She should have told him; "I have a boyfriend that I love very much and I don't think it would be right to go out with you alone. But you're welcome to join my friends and I at the bowling alley on Friday."

this is what she should have done...but instead she agreed to meet him, which means one of two things that come to the same conclusion

A) she is/was curious

B) she wants to be with the other guy

both of these come to the same conclusion in the end...it's plain as day to see

you need to ask yourself this "Why did she agree in the first place to have dinner with him" and "Why didn't she offer to let you tag along in the first place"

you should know that this isn't normal relationship behavour....even blind freddy can see that.

Some girls are just naive. She might just want to be friends and completely oblivious to his intentions.

Naivetee (sp?) is no excuse for disrespect. If she's dumb as a houseplant, he should've explained his feelings to her and then she'd have understood.

BUT, it's quite obvious that this girl is a player and has done this type of thing before.

Hey, we've all been there and been played. I'm no exception. But you learn from your mistakes. If you don't. Then well, you're just stupid.

She's not the type u've mentioned. She's passive, yet super polite and friendly person. She had two 1-3yr long relationships before where she was cheated upon.

Fine. I'm out of your thread. All I can do is write the lesson on the blackboard; it's up to you to take notes for the test. c'ya.

 

[JackBurton]

Seriously man, you're getting played. No doubt about it. It's always the ones that say, "she's not like that" that get blindsided. But hey, it's life. Some people just have to learn the hard way.

 

[yllus]

I'm making a note in my Outlook Calendar to ask Iron Addict in 60 days whether he's still with his girlfriend. Iron Addict, we demand an update if you break up with this girl.

 

[T9D]

Show your GF this thread. Should drive the point home.

 

[lokiju]

Most girls/women I know truly think that guys want to just be friends with them, and even if that guy claims this to be the case, he'll likely go to his grave not admitting it to her unless he has a more solid chance of getting her into the sack.

My fiancee is oblivious to the fact that men check her out, and once we got serious we came to an understanding about hanging out one on one with friends of the opposite sex.

Even my brother and his wife have gone through this sort of thing where she truly thinks that guys that want to hang out with her just want to be her friend, but my brother convinced her of the truth and in time she saw for herself that wasn't the case also.

It's another thing though if my fiancee wants to hang out one on one with a mutual friend of ours that's a male and married.

 

[IceBergSLiM]

you can do two things here.....

1) say thats cool I don't mind, by the way Im gonna be hanging out with xyz girl the same night so I'm sure you won't mind

2) break up with her

EDIT:

Take this as an indication that there is *something* you are not fulfilling in your relationship with her and she is seeking this out elsewhere. If you want to save this you best figure what *IT* is now and do something about it.

 

[Chryso]

If you totally trust her, let her go.

 

[frankgomez75]

Originally posted by: lokiju
Most girls/women I know truly think that guys want to just be friends with them, and even if that guy claims this to be the case, he'll likely go to his grave not admitting it to her unless he has a more solid chance of getting her into the sack.

My fiancee is oblivious to the fact that men check her out, and once we got serious we came to an understanding about hanging out one on one with friends of the opposite sex.

Even my brother and his wife have gone through this sort of thing where she truly thinks that guys that want to hang out with her just want to be her friend, but my brother convinced her of the truth and in time she saw for herself that wasn't the case also.

It's another thing though if my fiancee wants to hang out one on one with a mutual friend of ours that's a male and married.

Same here.... I met my fiancee when she was 20 and I was 25. Man was she naive about guys. I had to have a sit down and explain to her how guys work. ALL MEN "ACT" like they want to be friends with girls that they find attractive. C'mon! How many women say "I want to meet a nice guy who isn't interested in just sex, but is interested in me as a person" That's why some men use the non-threatening move, like "Hey, we should hang-out some time." in a friendly non-chalant way. Most women hate when guys are straight forward, making them seem arrogant, so guys use this approach.

Men act like they are interested in them as a person... they lie in wait for the right moment... a friendly night out, having a couple of drinks... or being there to console them when they have a fight with their BF :roll:

When that right moment happens, the real reason comes out.

After explaining all this, she finally understood mens motives and how they work. She tells me about the guys who try to the line, "Hey, we should hang out sometime." and we laugh about it... She always tells them she has a BF and wouldn't disrespect me like that.. they are more than welcome to hang out with us though... most decline I wonder why?

 

[bennylong]

How come guys don't want to be "friends" with fat and ugly chicks? You figure this out. Your woman is cheating on you

 

[OCNewbie]

She's gonna do it with or without your consent, eventually if not now. If you give your consent, it may turn out crappy and the guy will be a jerk and making her appreciate you more. She'll also appreciate you giving her the freedom to do such a thing. Of course it could turn out well for her and she'll maybe want to part ways. But like I said, she's gonna do it with or without your approval, so let her try it out, at worst you'll still come out like the good guy since you didn't try to control her, etc. At best she'll appreciate you more x2 for allowing her to do such a thing AND if the guy is an ass she'll more be thankful for what she already has.

 

[fLum0x]

Originally posted by: hypn0tik
1) You have trust issues

2) She will end up cheating on you

Pick one

not always true. you have to figure that the majority or half of females would not cheat on their boyfriend. if they did, they dont care enough about their boyfriend and it is over anyways. but i know with my GF, she knows i wouldnt hesitate to dump her as soon as she cheated on me. no questions asked. there should be zero tolerance for that kind of crap.

 

[y2kc]

Originally posted by: Iron Addict

Originally posted by: CKDragon
I searched through the thread for "age", so forgive me if this has been covered... but how old are the involved parties?

im 22 shes 21

...and together for 3 years? she's too young to be settled (so are you BTW) and she's starting to get curious about the world and the people in it.

You're trying to hold a Tiger by the tail. Let her go, trust me, she's gone already.

It's not a bad thing, it's nature.

 

[spidey07]

Wow. Talk about the all too common scenario, and we all know what the outcome will be.

People in a loving and trusting relationship don't go out on dates with other people.

Your girl is already wants out of the relationship and is looking for a new man. She'll probably wind up cheating, then telling you, you get all bent out of shape and mean and eventually dump her.

This way, she gets out of the relationship and isn't the "bad person" because you broke up with her.

sorry bud, you are in a can't win situation. Just remember the normal fact that a woman rarely ever jumps unless there is something to jump to.

-edit- your only way to move forward/make progress...

"I certainly won't tell you what to do, but my feelings are hurt that you would want to go on a date with somebody else, because that's what it is. I'm a guy and I know how we operate so please believe me when I say that it's a date and some guy is trying to bust us up. We'll play it off as "friendly" but the whole time we're thinking who soon before I get in her pants, boyfriend shmoyfriend...he's not my problem.

So if we can work on what you're not receiving emotionally maybe we can resolve this."

 

[DeadByDawn]

Duel the scoundrel and keelhaul the wench

 

[IceBergSLiM]

Originally posted by: fLum0x

not always true. you have to figure that the majority or half of females would not cheat on their boyfriend. if they did, they dont care enough about their boyfriend and it is over anyways. but i know with my GF, she knows i wouldnt hesitate to dump her as soon as she cheated on me. no questions asked. there should be zero tolerance for that kind of crap.

"If we are going to start seeing other people then I'm going to go out on xyz night as well"

 

[jlbenedict]

Originally posted by: spidey07
Wow. Talk about the all too common scenario, and we all know what the outcome will be.

People in a loving and trusting relationship don't go out on dates with other people.

Your girl is already wants out of the relationship and is looking for a new man. She'll probably wind up cheating, then telling you, you get all bent out of shape and mean and eventually dump her.

and then the OP will be back to ATOT, posting another YAGT.. with the SAME outcome..

If you "boys" would think with the head on your shoulders first, before thinking with the "head" between your legs, you would understand this..

 

[Stumps]

Originally posted by: jlbenedict

Originally posted by: spidey07
Wow. Talk about the all too common scenario, and we all know what the outcome will be.

People in a loving and trusting relationship don't go out on dates with other people.

Your girl is already wants out of the relationship and is looking for a new man. She'll probably wind up cheating, then telling you, you get all bent out of shape and mean and eventually dump her.

and then the OP will be back to ATOT, posting another YAGT.. with the SAME outcome..

If you "boys" would think with the head on your shoulders first, before thinking with the "head" between your legs, you would understand this..

as they say about younger guys....young, dumb and full of cum...and this is why guys make these sort of mistakes

 

[Josh123]

Turn it around on her. Ask her how she would feel about you going on a 1 on 1 date with some girl.

My GF of two years just headed off to college about 2 hours away. I bought an expensive promise ring for her to wear that she absolutly loves. First day of class some guy started talking to her then noticed her ring and moved on. She knows what guys are looking at getting.

 

[iroast]

Originally posted by: Ronstang
Anyone in a serious relationship has no business going out to a "1 on 1" dinner with someone of the opposite sex they have recently met. If they do then the current relationship is already toast from their point of view.