what should i have done? *UPDATE*

[irishScott]

Originally posted by: nerdress

Originally posted by: SagaLore

Originally posted by: nerdress
So he spits on me. I'm still extremely upset over this, and it just would make me feel better if I was right in thinking I should have called the police--<snip>

What should I have done?

Called your parents, after leaving and staying somewhere else. As long as he's allowed to live in that house, the cops can't do anything without their consent. But your parents can remove that consent - but its up to them to do so.

My parents would have called the police instantly. My brother's pulled scissors on my dad, and beaten me before, and pulled knives on me too. He put a hole 3 feet tall in my door; my mom had to put titanium over them so he couldn't do it again.

This isn't the first time this has happened; it just hasn't happened in quite a few years. The police know my brother--even one police officer, who came over so often that she'd ask about my cat that never comes around. She knows about my fucking CAT. I had a boyfriend for a year before he found out about my first cat! (I have two, one that's indoors and one that's outdoors).

Wow. If I lived anywhere near you I'd head over and bring my knife with me. And I'm trained. I've already "convinced" my dad to not physically abuse my mom. If I wasn't 2 thousand miles away I'd be happy to do the same to your brother. There is no excuse for that kind of behavior.

Tell me again why your parents are harboring this bastard? Either get him into a mental asylum/prison or get him kicked him to the curb. Permanently. Never mind the fact that from the sound of it your parents have limited finances that he's leeching off of.

I know he's family but he probably doesn't even think he has a problem. Until that changes, he doesn't deserve what he gets and he'll just use it to reinforce whatever rationalizations he has. I speak from close to a decade of experience on this. Everyone has to hit rock bottom sooner or later IMO. Delaying it is just delaying his chances of recovery.

 

[octopus41092]

Originally posted by: Fritzo
After he spit in your face you yell "YOU'RE A SPITTER??? IS THAT WHY YOUR BOYFRIEND BROKE UP WITH YOU?????!!!!"

Then...i don't know...wipe it off or something.

:laugh:

In all seriousness though, you should have called the cops on his ass. He obviously needs to be taught a lesson. From your description of him he's an asshole who thinks he's better than everyone.

Your parents are in financial trouble, and he's nothing but a freeloading prick. Get him kicked out and have him realize how little and worthless he is. Maybe when he comes crawling back he'll have learned his lesson.

 

[TechBoyJK]

Why not load his face up with pepper spray? And if he does beat you in retaliation, call the cops.

 

[nerdress]

Originally posted by: zerocool84
Sounds like your parents need better parenting skills.

My parents were too loving. Way, way too loving. My dad just stopped caring when this all started happening when we were younger, and my brother has been able to convince himself that he's a total prick because of it. My dad just turned 64; what the fuck does he think he's going to do? Keep doing backflips?

Fuck that. I turned out to be...errrr...well better than my brother. I'm at least ambitious, and have integrity, and am independent so I don't want to free load off my parents forever. Where the hell did it go wrong? He used to be such a sweet kid

 

[Circlenaut]

Originally posted by: waffleironhead

Originally posted by: AstroManLuca

Originally posted by: waffleironhead

Originally posted by: nakedfrog

Originally posted by: waffleironhead
MYOB. I always figured people lost the tattle tale tendency once they were out of grade school. Guess I was wrong. If your parents catch him doing something wrong all on their own so be it. But stay the hell out of it.

What?
How is this not her business?

His interactions with parents and their rules is none of her business. So what if he has people over. Is she some enforcer or something? Never understood this "Ima gonna tell on you" mentality.

What about the fact that he had a bunch of loud, rowdy friends over and she couldn't sleep? Is her own sleep also not her business? And again, what about the threat of bodily harm?

He spit and "almost punched" No physical harm found. Plus she started with the disclaimer that she was all "hormonal". I'm siding with the brother on this one.

It's shit like this that makes me lose faith for America. People don't care enough for each other in this country. She was completely in the right to try and improve her family.

 

[Howard]

Cut his throat and pray to God that your children don't turn out the same way?

 

[Krynj]

He sounds like a stupid little fuck who is nothing more than a waste of space.

I'd have called the cops on him. He sounds like a spoiled shit who has never been disciplined, and needs a taste of reality. Even though he's your brother, some people will never learn, and need that tough love once in a while.

 

[sash1]

you should have kicked him in the nuts, then grabbed a bat and beat the shit out of him

 

[Brainonska511]

Originally posted by: waffleironhead
MYOB. I always figured people lost the tattle tale tendency once they were out of grade school. Guess I was wrong. If your parents catch him doing something wrong all on their own so be it. But stay the hell out of it.

It is her business moron. Her brother spit in HER face. That makes it her business.

Heck, the brother didn't need to do anything to be her business - he's her god damn brother!

 

[imported_Mike]

You should have junk punched him

 

[BoomerD]

Based on your update, you need to divorce your family. Tell your mother and father that as long as they continue to take your worthless brother's side in things like this, you will have nothing to do with them. Tell them that IF they finally come to their senses and kick his worthless ass to the curb, to call you.
Until then, no visits to them or by them, no non-essential phone calls, no non-essential mail, NO CONTACT. Probably wouldn't be a bad thing to tell them how much it hurts you to do this, but that you can't tolerate the treatment by the brother...and won't tolerate this treatment by your parents.

Then, get in your car and leave...

 

[Newbian]

Originally posted by: Howard
Cut his throat and pray to God that your children don't turn out the same way?

Whoa... I must had missed that part where the father is also her brother.

 

[sjwaste]

Originally posted by: BoomerD
Based on your update, you need to divorce your family. Tell your mother and father that as long as they continue to take your worthless brother's side in things like this, you will have nothing to do with them. Tell them that IF they finally come to their senses and kick his worthless ass to the curb, to call you.
Until then, no visits to them or by them, no non-essential phone calls, no non-essential mail, NO CONTACT. Probably wouldn't be a bad thing to tell them how much it hurts you to do this, but that you can't tolerate the treatment by the brother...and won't tolerate this treatment by your parents.

Then, get in your car and leave...

This is about all you can do. I'm pretty close with my family and will tolerate a lot of shit, but if anything got close to this situation, I'd be immediately dissociated, and they'd know exactly why.

 

[nerdress]

Originally posted by: BoomerD
Based on your update, you need to divorce your family. Tell your mother and father that as long as they continue to take your worthless brother's side in things like this, you will have nothing to do with them. Tell them that IF they finally come to their senses and kick his worthless ass to the curb, to call you.
Until then, no visits to them or by them, no non-essential phone calls, no non-essential mail, NO CONTACT. Probably wouldn't be a bad thing to tell them how much it hurts you to do this, but that you can't tolerate the treatment by the brother...and won't tolerate this treatment by your parents.

Then, get in your car and leave...

My therapist said that when I left the house, the "wheel of dysfunction" squeaks where I used to be, and whenever I come back the wheel tries to make up for where I left off by ruining any good time that could possibly be had.

I really do need to divorce my family, though. You're totally right.

 

[zerocool84]

Originally posted by: nerdress

Originally posted by: zerocool84
Sounds like your parents need better parenting skills.

My parents were too loving. Way, way too loving. My dad just stopped caring when this all started happening when we were younger, and my brother has been able to convince himself that he's a total prick because of it. My dad just turned 64; what the fuck does he think he's going to do? Keep doing backflips?

Fuck that. I turned out to be...errrr...well better than my brother. I'm at least ambitious, and have integrity, and am independent so I don't want to free load off my parents forever. Where the hell did it go wrong? He used to be such a sweet kid

It went wrong because they allow him to do things that he shouldn't be able to do. Us as humans are animals and just like a dog, they will do things as long as we allow them to do it. If they had kept up and stopped it before it got worse, none of it would have happened.

 

[BoomerD]

Originally posted by: nerdress

My therapist said that when I left the house, the "wheel of dysfunction" squeaks where I used to be, and whenever I come back the wheel tries to make up for where I left off by ruining any good time that could possibly be had.

I really do need to divorce my family, though. You're totally right.

What I suggest won't be easy to do. It's VERY difficult to walk away from your family...but sometimes it has to be done for your own sake.

Hopefully, you have some good supportive friends (besides the boyfriend) where you live. That can make the transition somewhat easier.

 

[TallBill]

Wowie, your brother is a total asshole. Having a LDR sucks ball sack too. If I spit on my sister or attacked her in a drunken rage and she called the cops, I wouldn't hold it against her.

 

[herrjimbo]

what the hell is wrong with waffleironhead?

needs to be bitch slapped.

 

[nerdress]

Originally posted by: BoomerD

Originally posted by: nerdress

My therapist said that when I left the house, the "wheel of dysfunction" squeaks where I used to be, and whenever I come back the wheel tries to make up for where I left off by ruining any good time that could possibly be had.

I really do need to divorce my family, though. You're totally right.

What I suggest won't be easy to do. It's VERY difficult to walk away from your family...but sometimes it has to be done for your own sake.

Hopefully, you have some good supportive friends (besides the boyfriend) where you live. That can make the transition somewhat easier.

It'll take a while, but eventually I'll do it. Like, a year or so--then when I move for school, I can give the full bird in their direction and tell them I'll see them when they straighten up.

Of course...I'll be less crass than that but you get the idea

 

[zinfamous]

damn, update sucks.

your parents sound like 100% of your worthless brother's problems. Good thing you're technically out of there, b/c they sound rather useless. you should also tell your boyfriend that if he gives a shit, then he needs to come pound some sense into your brother

sucks to get out of high school, then deal with the same damn drama, no?

 

[guyver01]

sounds like a typical brother/sister relationship to me...

 

[zinfamous]

Originally posted by: BoomerD
Based on your update, you need to divorce your family. Tell your mother and father that as long as they continue to take your worthless brother's side in things like this, you will have nothing to do with them. Tell them that IF they finally come to their senses and kick his worthless ass to the curb, to call you.
Until then, no visits to them or by them, no non-essential phone calls, no non-essential mail, NO CONTACT. Probably wouldn't be a bad thing to tell them how much it hurts you to do this, but that you can't tolerate the treatment by the brother...and won't tolerate this treatment by your parents.

Then, get in your car and leave...

You know, this was my first thought, too. It could be a bit touchy, and could certainly backfire (not like any of us know a thing about your personal history, possible future dependence on parents...whatever), but one of the "wiser" ones among us has said it....

 

[PieIsAwesome]

Originally posted by: nerdress
**UPDATE**

. . .Truth was, the room was blazing hot, I was in a bra and underwear. . .

Giggity.

 

[BoomerD]

Originally posted by: PieIsAwesome

Originally posted by: nerdress
**UPDATE**

. . .Truth was, the room was blazing hot, I was in a bra and underwear. . .

Giggity.

I've refrained so far...but we REALLY DO need pics of that...

 

[zinfamous]

Originally posted by: BoomerD

Originally posted by: PieIsAwesome

Originally posted by: nerdress
**UPDATE**

. . .Truth was, the room was blazing hot, I was in a bra and underwear. . .

Giggity.

I've refrained so far...but we REALLY DO need pics of that...

Yes...this was very difficult.