**UPDATE**
Turns out I had a therapy session tonight, which was awesome because that meant I could talk about what happened. I felt a lot better afterward and went home feeling confident enough that I wouldn't act smug when my parents kicked him out.
So I show up. A) he's not there. But he's not there because he's hanging out with friends...they won't kick him out.
My father told me to grow up, and that I should take a more mature approach with handling my brother. He said, "Why can't you say something like, 'We really need to figure out a new way of dealing with this', and move on? You both have clashing personalities." YES. THANK YOU. WHY DIDN'T I THINK OF THAT BEFORE. I asked if, regardless of how I verbally handled the situation, whether or not spitting on me was an appropriate response. He said, "I never said that it was", and continued watching television. Then he said, "I'm glad he spit on you though; if he didn't, he would have flattened you to the ground instead."
So I turned to my mother, the voice of reason. She said that my brother said I was taking my clothes off while arguing with him, and how could they take my side seriously if I was doing that? Truth was, the room was blazing hot, I was in a bra and underwear that could have passed for shorts, and with the door closed and locked--he unlocked it, turned on the lights, and started screaming at me. Of course, by the time things escalated to the point it did, I was screaming so much back at him that I didn't even think twice that I wasn't really wearing any.
I asked her if she seriously put him on the same level of integrity as me, which is bullshit. The boyfriend said that I needed to stop concerning myself with my brother, to stop thinking about him all together. And truth be told, I'm trying--but it isn't easy. He SPIT on my FACE. How in the eff can I forget that?
I will say though, someone is going to "forget" giving him a present and birthday present this year and the following ones. I'm just glad I finally got out of that house; it's full of dysfunctional and I can't be there to try and solve their problems anymore. I have my own to deal with 🙁
Thanks for listening you guys, I really appreciate it. It's been a while since my brother physically "harmed" me, and it's bringing back a flood of memories I was hoping therapy blocked out.
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If you hear the story, it makes a lot more sense:
Last night I came home after driving back from the boyfriend's (4 hours away). I was tired, hadn't eaten, overly emotional due to normal womanly hormonal spike etc, and my parents told me to sleep at their house so I could drive to work in the morning (I live in SF, can't have my car because there isn't anywhere to park, and they were in LA until today so no ride to the BART station).
I walk into the house, and my brother has a bunch of people over and they're playing beer pong IN the house--our house isn't just "a house", my mother is an interior decorator as well as a woodworker, and has made it an art piece (no pics yet, maybe later, but ask 911paramedic, he's been there). Everything we have my mother has made from scratch, excluding the granite floors and the two couches.
My brother is a leech. He's 21, has no job, doesn't go to school, and yells at my parents everyday for not giving him money; my dad is out of work (executive management doesn't have ANYTHING these days, and he's too overqualified to do anything else), my mom is a creative thinker and has for years had trouble with marketing her work-but when she gets a job, it pays WELL. However, remodeling a home is not recession proof 🙁
My brother starts screaming at me because I threaten to call my parents if he doesn't quiet down. He's not allowed to have friends over, period, because he refuses to get a job and spends all his unemployment money on alcohol and weed. If he got a job, he could have people over--but this is not the case.
So he spits on me. I'm still extremely upset over this, and it just would make me feel better if I was right in thinking I should have called the police--I didn't, I just started crying because I didn't know what to do. I know that it sounds like I was tattling, but this behavior has been going on for years. If he wasn't such a fucking asshole, things would have been different.
What should I have done?
CLIFFS:
-brother is leech
-had friends over when he wasn't allowed while parents were gone
-told him to quiet down so i could sleep, he wouldn't
-called parents (who didn't pick up)
-spat in my face and almost punched me, threatened that if I defended myself he would have called the cops
-he's twice my size and four times stronger than me
-what should I have done?
Turns out I had a therapy session tonight, which was awesome because that meant I could talk about what happened. I felt a lot better afterward and went home feeling confident enough that I wouldn't act smug when my parents kicked him out.
So I show up. A) he's not there. But he's not there because he's hanging out with friends...they won't kick him out.
My father told me to grow up, and that I should take a more mature approach with handling my brother. He said, "Why can't you say something like, 'We really need to figure out a new way of dealing with this', and move on? You both have clashing personalities." YES. THANK YOU. WHY DIDN'T I THINK OF THAT BEFORE. I asked if, regardless of how I verbally handled the situation, whether or not spitting on me was an appropriate response. He said, "I never said that it was", and continued watching television. Then he said, "I'm glad he spit on you though; if he didn't, he would have flattened you to the ground instead."
So I turned to my mother, the voice of reason. She said that my brother said I was taking my clothes off while arguing with him, and how could they take my side seriously if I was doing that? Truth was, the room was blazing hot, I was in a bra and underwear that could have passed for shorts, and with the door closed and locked--he unlocked it, turned on the lights, and started screaming at me. Of course, by the time things escalated to the point it did, I was screaming so much back at him that I didn't even think twice that I wasn't really wearing any.
I asked her if she seriously put him on the same level of integrity as me, which is bullshit. The boyfriend said that I needed to stop concerning myself with my brother, to stop thinking about him all together. And truth be told, I'm trying--but it isn't easy. He SPIT on my FACE. How in the eff can I forget that?
I will say though, someone is going to "forget" giving him a present and birthday present this year and the following ones. I'm just glad I finally got out of that house; it's full of dysfunctional and I can't be there to try and solve their problems anymore. I have my own to deal with 🙁
Thanks for listening you guys, I really appreciate it. It's been a while since my brother physically "harmed" me, and it's bringing back a flood of memories I was hoping therapy blocked out.
-------------------------------------------------
If you hear the story, it makes a lot more sense:
Last night I came home after driving back from the boyfriend's (4 hours away). I was tired, hadn't eaten, overly emotional due to normal womanly hormonal spike etc, and my parents told me to sleep at their house so I could drive to work in the morning (I live in SF, can't have my car because there isn't anywhere to park, and they were in LA until today so no ride to the BART station).
I walk into the house, and my brother has a bunch of people over and they're playing beer pong IN the house--our house isn't just "a house", my mother is an interior decorator as well as a woodworker, and has made it an art piece (no pics yet, maybe later, but ask 911paramedic, he's been there). Everything we have my mother has made from scratch, excluding the granite floors and the two couches.
My brother is a leech. He's 21, has no job, doesn't go to school, and yells at my parents everyday for not giving him money; my dad is out of work (executive management doesn't have ANYTHING these days, and he's too overqualified to do anything else), my mom is a creative thinker and has for years had trouble with marketing her work-but when she gets a job, it pays WELL. However, remodeling a home is not recession proof 🙁
My brother starts screaming at me because I threaten to call my parents if he doesn't quiet down. He's not allowed to have friends over, period, because he refuses to get a job and spends all his unemployment money on alcohol and weed. If he got a job, he could have people over--but this is not the case.
So he spits on me. I'm still extremely upset over this, and it just would make me feel better if I was right in thinking I should have called the police--I didn't, I just started crying because I didn't know what to do. I know that it sounds like I was tattling, but this behavior has been going on for years. If he wasn't such a fucking asshole, things would have been different.
What should I have done?
CLIFFS:
-brother is leech
-had friends over when he wasn't allowed while parents were gone
-told him to quiet down so i could sleep, he wouldn't
-called parents (who didn't pick up)
-spat in my face and almost punched me, threatened that if I defended myself he would have called the cops
-he's twice my size and four times stronger than me
-what should I have done?
