What does a parent "owe" their child?

[JMapleton]

Originally posted by: alkemyst
financial aid is always based on last year...lose your job and last year doesn't matter. My second time in college I was told I should have been able to save 30% of my income towards education....

I told the chick if I could save 30% of my income I'd probably not be considering college again. However if I could save much more, I'd probably enroll...but then we'd not be having this conservation.

She went defensive and said 'why, is their something wrong with talking to me?!'

I can't remember the exact words, but basically I said yes.

My first 7 years of college ended up running $7000 tab, my next 2, about 5 years later was $30k.

*shakes head* ok what chick is this? I got lost when you brought some woman into the story rofl.

 

[alkemyst]

should be clear if you used financial aid/went to college on your own.....it's the financial aid woman. When you graduate high school you may meet her. If you have, then you are clearly describing how you wished your time went.

someone has to run the fryer.

 

[JMapleton]

Originally posted by: alkemyst
should be clear if you used financial aid/went to college on your own.....it's the financial aid woman. When you graduate high school you may meet her. If you have, then you are clearly describing how you wished your time went.

someone has to run the fryer.

The part about the fryer lost me.

I like apple sauce however.

 

[alkemyst]

Originally posted by: JMapleton

Originally posted by: alkemyst
should be clear if you used financial aid/went to college on your own.....it's the financial aid woman. When you graduate high school you may meet her. If you have, then you are clearly describing how you wished your time went.

someone has to run the fryer.

The part about the fryer lost me.

I like apple sauce however.

much like 1st grade, a picture....

 

[JMapleton]

Originally posted by: alkemyst

Originally posted by: JMapleton

Originally posted by: alkemyst
should be clear if you used financial aid/went to college on your own.....it's the financial aid woman. When you graduate high school you may meet her. If you have, then you are clearly describing how you wished your time went.

someone has to run the fryer.

The part about the fryer lost me.

I like apple sauce however.

much like 1st grade, a picture....

I think your ability to coherently write a story came from the 1st grade.

 

[alkemyst]

hard to be coherent telling your story. Out of all the things you say your parents owed you what did you 'win' and what's their net worth now?

 

[JMapleton]

Originally posted by: alkemyst
hard to be coherent telling your story. Out of all the things you say your parents owed you what did you 'win' and what's their net worth now?

What do you mean, what did I "win"?

 

[Brainonska511]

Parents owe:
-a basic education - both academically (schooling through HS) and socially (don't raise a creep; ie: opportunities to participate in sports/clubs, etc)
-nutritious food
-shelter (and a fairly clean, but not necessarily sterile, environment)
-a basic set of clothes
-health

Should provide if possible:
-A car (not new) when the kid gets his license, but only on the condition that the kid pays for the insurance, gas, and maintenance of the car
-A college education and/or some monetary support throughout school
-Minor spending money in exchange for performing chores around the house until the child is old enough to get a part-time job. Chores should still be done at that point, but no longer for money.

 

[GeekDrew]

I've not read most of this what appears to be a disaster of a thread, but IMO parents "owe" their child care, nurturing, money, whatever it takes to survive, for life. No, not until 18. Permanently. If you didn't want to sign up for life, they you shouldn't have gotten pregnant. If you got pregnant as a result of rape, have an abortion. Parenting should be a lifelong commitment in which you give up your right to have any kind of life at all for the rest of your life.

In other news, I (hate? strongly dislike? am repulsed by?) can't stand the entire idea of human procreation, parenting, the relationships between children and parents, and the fact that many parents think that their job is done at age 18.

 

[dud]

Having been a child and a parent ... and then having to bury my parents this is really an easy question to answer:

A parent owes a child only what the parent feels that they owe them. Yes, a parent has a duty to raise their child correctly, with the proper support but at a certain time the strings must be cut. My youngest son graduated HS 30 months ago and has done little with his life. A few months ago I told him that I would no longer be his "enabler" and that he had some decisions to make. He goes to talk to a Navy recruiter tomorrow and (hopefully) he will be off to Jacksonville to take the ASVAB early next week.

He made his decision to do nothing and now must live with it.

 

[TridenT]

Originally posted by: dud
Having been a child and a parent ... and then having to bury my parents this is really an easy question to answer:

A parent owes a child only what the parent feels that they owe them. Yes, a parent has a duty to raise their child correctly, with the proper support but at a certain time the strings must be cut. My youngest son graduated HS 30 months ago and has done little with his life. A few months ago I told him that I would no longer be his "enabler" and that he had some decisions to make. He goes to talk to a Navy recruiter tomorrow and (hopefully) he will be off to Jacksonville to take the ASVAB early next week.

He made his decision to do nothing and now must live with it.

That must be troublesome.

Wish my parents enabled me.

 

[Brainonska511]

Originally posted by: TridenTBoy3555
That must be troublesome.

Wish my parents enabled me.

You can always enable yourself by getting off your ass and finding a job.

 

[Bateluer]

Parents don't owe more than

1) Room & board until 18
2) Health and basic education until 18

It is NOT the responsibility of the parent to buy the child a car, bicycle, horse, or other mode of transportation. There are plenty of jobs, even now, for an individual between the age of 14 and 18 that they can earn enough money to purchase their own beater.

Education is a great and wonderful thing, but it is not the responsibility of the parent to pay for or finance the child's college education. They are responsible for a base education, think High School level, but no more than that. Handing everything to a child on a silver platter leads to the most spoiled and idiotic adults who think everything should be handed to them.

Now, if a parent does have the means to provide a car and/or college education, then that's their decision, but they are not responsible or obligated to provide either.

 

[TridenT]

Originally posted by: Brainonska511

Originally posted by: TridenTBoy3555
That must be troublesome.

Wish my parents enabled me.

You can always enable yourself by getting off your ass and finding a job.

I've applied for some already. Jeez. It's just a matter of waiting for a phone call, and applying for more...

 

[Brainonska511]

Originally posted by: TridenTBoy3555

Originally posted by: Brainonska511

Originally posted by: TridenTBoy3555
That must be troublesome.

Wish my parents enabled me.

You can always enable yourself by getting off your ass and finding a job.

I've applied for some already. Jeez. It's just a matter of waiting for a phone call, and applying for more...

Good.

 

[TridenT]

Originally posted by: Brainonska511

Originally posted by: TridenTBoy3555

Originally posted by: Brainonska511

Originally posted by: TridenTBoy3555
That must be troublesome.

Wish my parents enabled me.

You can always enable yourself by getting off your ass and finding a job.

I've applied for some already. Jeez. It's just a matter of waiting for a phone call, and applying for more...

Good.

I applied for McDonalds too.. so if they don't call, I doubt ANY fucking place will ever... >_< (And they had open positions)

 

[JMapleton]

Originally posted by: TridenTBoy3555

Originally posted by: Brainonska511

Originally posted by: TridenTBoy3555

Originally posted by: Brainonska511

Originally posted by: TridenTBoy3555
That must be troublesome.

Wish my parents enabled me.

You can always enable yourself by getting off your ass and finding a job.

I've applied for some already. Jeez. It's just a matter of waiting for a phone call, and applying for more...

Good.

I applied for McDonalds too.. so if they don't call, I doubt ANY fucking place will ever... >_< (And they had open positions)

If you have a reliable car, you can deliver pizza. You can make good money doing it, I did it when I was younger and didn't want to work during the daytime.

 

[pontifex]

Once I hit 14 my parents made me get a part time job. From that point on I had to pay for my car, gas, most of my clothes, and anything like video games or unnecessary stuff (except for christmas or birthday gifts).

hell, when i was 11 or 12 i started mowing lawns for people. at one point i was doing like 5 or 6 lawns a week during the summer. my dad would drive me to the houses and i would mow. my dad made me put most of it into savings account that i couldn't withdraw from until i was 18 (without a parent's permission). They did allow me to take that money out at 16 so i could buy a car, I had over $2000 in my account from just lawn mowing.

I had my own room and they did buy a pc for the family to use. They also paid for my technical school tuition, but I paid for all other tuition after that.

 

[TridenT]

Originally posted by: JMapleton

Originally posted by: TridenTBoy3555

Originally posted by: Brainonska511

Originally posted by: TridenTBoy3555

Originally posted by: Brainonska511

Originally posted by: TridenTBoy3555
That must be troublesome.

Wish my parents enabled me.

You can always enable yourself by getting off your ass and finding a job.

I've applied for some already. Jeez. It's just a matter of waiting for a phone call, and applying for more...

Good.

I applied for McDonalds too.. so if they don't call, I doubt ANY fucking place will ever... >_< (And they had open positions)

If you have a reliable car, you can deliver pizza. You can make good money doing it, I did it when I was younger and didn't want to work during the daytime.

No car, and working on my license right now.

 

[imported_Lothar]

Originally posted by: Brainonska511
Parents owe:
-a basic education - both academically (schooling through HS) and socially (don't raise a creep; ie: opportunities to participate in sports/clubs, etc)
-nutritious food
-shelter (and a fairly clean, but not necessarily sterile, environment)
-a basic set of clothes
-health

Should provide if possible:
-A car (not new) when the kid gets his license, but only on the condition that the kid pays for the insurance, gas, and maintenance of the car
-A college education and/or some monetary support throughout school
-Minor spending money in exchange for performing chores around the house until the child is old enough to get a part-time job. Chores should still be done at that point, but no longer for money.

WTF?
I hope you won't be one of those parents who pays their child $30/week to wash dishes in the sink or clean the bathtub.

If you make your child do chores for money at an early age, what makes you think they will continue to do them if you stop paying them after they get a part-time job?

I believe in everything you mentioned except "spending" money and paying your own child to do household chores.

 

[TridenT]

Originally posted by: Lothar

Originally posted by: Brainonska511
Parents owe:
-a basic education - both academically (schooling through HS) and socially (don't raise a creep; ie: opportunities to participate in sports/clubs, etc)
-nutritious food
-shelter (and a fairly clean, but not necessarily sterile, environment)
-a basic set of clothes
-health

Should provide if possible:
-A car (not new) when the kid gets his license, but only on the condition that the kid pays for the insurance, gas, and maintenance of the car
-A college education and/or some monetary support throughout school
-Minor spending money in exchange for performing chores around the house until the child is old enough to get a part-time job. Chores should still be done at that point, but no longer for money.

WTF?
I hope you won't be one of those parents who pays their child $30/week to wash dishes in the sink or clean the bathtub.

If you make your child do chores for money at an early age, what makes you think they will continue to do them if you stop paying them after they get a part-time job?

I believe in everything you mentioned except "spending" money and paying your own child to do household chores.

I believe in spending money, just not weekly allowance kind. "Hey dad, can I go out and see a movie with my friends?"

"Sure, son, here is some money for the movie, is it enough?"

"Yep, thanks!"

 

[Fenixgoon]

all i know is i owe my parents a shit ton. i feel like i should be/should have been much more grateful for what i have and have been given

 

[JMapleton]

Originally posted by: Lothar
WTF?
I hope you won't be one of those parents who pays their child $30/week to wash dishes in the sink or clean the bathtub.

If you make your child do chores for money at an early age, what makes you think they will continue to do them if you stop paying them after they get a part-time job?

I believe in everything you mentioned except "spending" money and paying your own child to do household chores.

I don't think any chores should required by a child unless it's disciplinary action OR it's based around the kid cleaning up their own mess (making sure their own bedroom is clean, etc). I see a lot of kids when I'm driving through a neighborhood mowing lawns and I think "why should they have to mow someone else's lawn"?

It was a long time ago, but if I do recall correctly I did mow my dad's lawn when he broke his leg and I think a kid should be expected to help out when situations like that arrive.

 

[imported_Lothar]

Originally posted by: JMapleton

Originally posted by: Lothar
WTF?
I hope you won't be one of those parents who pays their child $30/week to wash dishes in the sink or clean the bathtub.

If you make your child do chores for money at an early age, what makes you think they will continue to do them if you stop paying them after they get a part-time job?

I believe in everything you mentioned except "spending" money and paying your own child to do household chores.

I don't think any chores should required by a child unless it's disciplinary action OR it's based around the kid cleaning up their own mess (making sure their own bedroom is clean, etc). I see a lot of kids when I'm driving through a neighborhood mowing lawns and I think "why should they have to mow someone else's lawn"?

It was a long time ago, but if I do recall correctly I did mow my dad's lawn when he broke his leg and I think a kid should be expected to help out when situations like that arrive.

So I should leave the plate that my mom used to eat in the sink for her to wash because...a) it's hers and she used it and/or b) she isn't paying me for it...How childish. :roll:

If a child isn't going to wash the pot that was used to prepare the family meal(which he ate from), then next time he's free to go to McDonalds for breakfast, lunch, and dinner.

For reference, when my father was alive we all did yard work. I wasn't old enough to operate a mower yet but we did fertilizers, raked leaves, sprinkle lawns, etc...

 

[JMapleton]

Originally posted by: Lothar

Originally posted by: JMapleton

Originally posted by: Lothar
WTF?
I hope you won't be one of those parents who pays their child $30/week to wash dishes in the sink or clean the bathtub.

If you make your child do chores for money at an early age, what makes you think they will continue to do them if you stop paying them after they get a part-time job?

I believe in everything you mentioned except "spending" money and paying your own child to do household chores.

I don't think any chores should required by a child unless it's disciplinary action OR it's based around the kid cleaning up their own mess (making sure their own bedroom is clean, etc). I see a lot of kids when I'm driving through a neighborhood mowing lawns and I think "why should they have to mow someone else's lawn"?

It was a long time ago, but if I do recall correctly I did mow my dad's lawn when he broke his leg and I think a kid should be expected to help out when situations like that arrive.

So I should leave the plate that my mom used to eat in the sink for her to wash because...a) it's hers and she used it and/or b) she isn't paying me for it...How childish. :roll:

If a child isn't going to wash the pot that was used to prepare the family meal(which he ate from), then next time he's free to go to McDonalds for breakfast, lunch, and dinner.

Well I look at it like this, you shouldn't have to "assign" chores for your kids. But you should raise them in such a way that they know when they should be helping their parent with things around the house.

I did do the dishes in my house (ie load the dishwasher) without being asked, I just did them because I know I should at least do something. However if you have lazy kids perhaps you should be raising your kids to be more considerate - people complain about rude kids these days well who's raising them?