I hope you aren't planning on putting that childish, battered woman-style thing in writing. Your boss is pretty bad but it doesn't seem you know how to conduct yourself in a professional environment either.
I hope you aren't planning on putting that childish, battered woman-style thing in writing. Your boss is pretty bad but it doesn't seem you know how to conduct yourself in a professional environment either.
ultimatebob
Lifer
- Jul 1, 2001
- 25,134
- 2,450
- 126
Oh please... put yourself in my shoes for just two freaking seconds and tell me I haven't made every possible effort up until now to be as professional as possible.
I'm faced with a choice right now: I could strand my coworkers and jeopardize additional pay that's coming to me, or I could sit down and do what I know it takes to put a final end to this NOW. In you haven't noticed words like "final" and "not debatable" don't register with him. Perhaps childish, battered woman-style rantings are the only thing that will work.
Because they can then terminate me.
"[Boss], I'm going to give you FIVE weeks notice! Guess what though, I'm taking three of them as vacation."
"Leave."
Originally posted by: kranky
I predict he's not going to give you written confirmation of your unused paid time off. But I still think you'll get the money. I have met imbeciles like your boss before and your excellent blow-by-blow descriptions of the discussions only reinforce my opinion. The problem with your request is he will not acquiece to taking orders from you. It's not in his personality. The conversation you related about him talking to the Team Lead clinched it.
He's a first-class manipulator, user and BSer. He throws out buzzwords and "management-speak" like a champ, but the motivation behind every word comes down to "How can I get <person> to give me/do for me what I want." He isn't relenting because he is used to getting his way and he's mad that he can't bully you no matter what he's tried. Good cop didn't work. Bad cop didn't work. The "my old pal" routine didn't work. "You owe me" didn't work. "We're in this together" didn't work.
People like him do not "take orders" from subordinates even when there's no reason not to, because he won't be able to stand knowing he was doing what you want and what you told him to.
I greatly look forward to hearing his reaction to your upcoming speech but I would add one thing: before you start, ask him to hear you out completely before he says anything. I bet he can't do it.
In a twisted way I wish you would change your mind... it's a shame this wonderful thread is drawing to a close.
If you don't mind, I might have to lean on some of what you said, because you've articulated the situation extremely well.
As for this drawing to a close, I wouldn't worry too much about that. I thought this would be over by Wednesday, at the LATEST. We're now headed into the weekend and we're still knee-deep in horseshit.
ultimatebob
Lifer
- Jul 1, 2001
- 25,134
- 2,450
- 126
Terminate you for using your earned vacation? Doubtful.
You should really be taking all of this up with your HR person. At this point, I wouldn't believe a word of what my soon-to-be ex-boss tells me.
KoolAidKid
Golden Member
- Apr 29, 2002
- 1,932
- 0
- 76
IMO, the more conversations you have with your boss, the worse it will be. I would limit conversation to a bare minimum for the remainder of the two weeks if I were you.
the fact this is your 3rd time says something
you've threatened to leave twice before, and each time nothings changed. theyve fed you some more cash because " money solves everything" but ultimately you are still in an environment you detest. so just cut it off a get out.
find a job you like. because doing something you like really isnt work at all.
you've threatened to leave twice before, and each time nothings changed. theyve fed you some more cash because " money solves everything" but ultimately you are still in an environment you detest. so just cut it off a get out.
find a job you like. because doing something you like really isnt work at all.
Originally posted by: jbourne77
Originally posted by: kranky
I predict he's not going to give you written confirmation of your unused paid time off. But I still think you'll get the money. I have met imbeciles like your boss before and your excellent blow-by-blow descriptions of the discussions only reinforce my opinion. The problem with your request is he will not acquiece to taking orders from you. It's not in his personality. The conversation you related about him talking to the Team Lead clinched it.
He's a first-class manipulator, user and BSer. He throws out buzzwords and "management-speak" like a champ, but the motivation behind every word comes down to "How can I get <person> to give me/do for me what I want." He isn't relenting because he is used to getting his way and he's mad that he can't bully you no matter what he's tried. Good cop didn't work. Bad cop didn't work. The "my old pal" routine didn't work. "You owe me" didn't work. "We're in this together" didn't work.
People like him do not "take orders" from subordinates even when there's no reason not to, because he won't be able to stand knowing he was doing what you want and what you told him to.
I greatly look forward to hearing his reaction to your upcoming speech but I would add one thing: before you start, ask him to hear you out completely before he says anything. I bet he can't do it.
In a twisted way I wish you would change your mind... it's a shame this wonderful thread is drawing to a close.
If you don't mind, I might have to lean on some of what you said, because you've articulated the situation extremely well.
As for this drawing to a close, I wouldn't worry too much about that. I thought this would be over by Wednesday, at the LATEST. We're now headed into the weekend and we're still knee-deep in horseshit.
kranky seems to have hit the nail on the head there.
HomeBrewerDude
Lifer
- Jan 18, 2001
- 14,465
- 1
- 0
No need for such a long explanation.
Just say something like this.
Dear ______,
As I indicated in my resignation letter my last day with <company A> will be __/__/____. I have already made arrangements to begin my new job and I will under no circumstances extend my employment with <company A>. Any attempt by an representative of <company> to contact my new employer to negotiate a different start date will not be welcome under any circumstance.
Sincerly,
JBourne.
ultimatebob
Lifer
- Jul 1, 2001
- 25,134
- 2,450
- 126
Bingo. One copy of that goes to HR, and the other copy goes to your boss. If the topic comes up again, ignore it.
EKKC
Diamond Member
- May 31, 2005
- 5,895
- 0
- 0
bring a gun to work. FIRE ME OR ELSE!!!
i kid i kid.
if they're that aggressive, you should just go and tell them to respect your final decision. but i would never burn my bridges no matter how badly the situation is, keep it professional and clean no matter how much sh!t they pull to keep you there, as much as you don't want to stay, know that it is kind of nice to be wanted.
i kid i kid.
if they're that aggressive, you should just go and tell them to respect your final decision. but i would never burn my bridges no matter how badly the situation is, keep it professional and clean no matter how much sh!t they pull to keep you there, as much as you don't want to stay, know that it is kind of nice to be wanted.
What exactly did you say to him that may have given him the impression your statement of resignation is up for negotiation? You did open the doors when you told them where you were going. I wouldn't divulge such information, it's simply none of their business.
Did you mention the issue of not being paid fair market the first two times? If so how did they respond?
Prior to your resignation, these negative environments under which you work, have they been actively working on a solution? I feel that maybe they are saying that just to keep you in the door and nothing, if much, would change.
It's time for a change. The more you hear and see, the more you'll learn. Tell them you need to get out of the house, so to speak, and see what else is out there. If they want what's best for you, which I doubt, they'll let you go. In this day and age, it's normal and expected employees move around, much more so than back in the old days where people stick around for 10, 20, 30yrs. Employers, not necessarily saying yours, needs to keep up with the times to actively recruit and train people as they come and go and not run business with a skeleton crew, not hit the panic button every time there's people movement.
Did you mention the issue of not being paid fair market the first two times? If so how did they respond?
Prior to your resignation, these negative environments under which you work, have they been actively working on a solution? I feel that maybe they are saying that just to keep you in the door and nothing, if much, would change.
It's time for a change. The more you hear and see, the more you'll learn. Tell them you need to get out of the house, so to speak, and see what else is out there. If they want what's best for you, which I doubt, they'll let you go. In this day and age, it's normal and expected employees move around, much more so than back in the old days where people stick around for 10, 20, 30yrs. Employers, not necessarily saying yours, needs to keep up with the times to actively recruit and train people as they come and go and not run business with a skeleton crew, not hit the panic button every time there's people movement.
The same guy to talk to when they go behind your back at the new company and try to extend your start date.
jbourne77, I feel for you.
I agree with others who have said that your boss is exploiting your "relationship". If he cared about you he'd want what is best for you.
When I left work for grad school, no one tried to stop me. Even thought my departure hurt, my boss and my big boss were very encouraging and even told me they thought I should go back to school.
That being said... don't give an inch to your current boss. Sounds like he has nothing but self-interest at heart.
I agree with others who have said that your boss is exploiting your "relationship". If he cared about you he'd want what is best for you.
When I left work for grad school, no one tried to stop me. Even thought my departure hurt, my boss and my big boss were very encouraging and even told me they thought I should go back to school.
That being said... don't give an inch to your current boss. Sounds like he has nothing but self-interest at heart.
Okay, here's the revised plan:
Monday morning speech:
I'll have to play it by ear at that point.
Monday morning speech:
I'll have to play it by ear at that point.
Screw those guys, you don't owe them anything. Don't be surprised if they ask to you to leave early if they don't get their way.
It sounds like you may be suffering from Battered Wife Syndrome. You hate the job -> Leave. You like the job -> Stay.
You should not say if you have already turned in you two weeks notice. Your career is shot.
You should not say if you have already turned in you two weeks notice. Your career is shot.
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