I can sum it up pretty cleanly in one sentence. I would do absolutely anything to not be gay. Anything. But it doesn't work like that. I have tried basically everything I can think of in the past to try to ignore, hide or otherwise not acknowledge it and it's not possible. Nothing happened to me as a kid trauma wise, I had a pretty normal upbringing, albeit in a very racist and anti-gay environment.
If people actually truly believe that I am making a choice to have a fucked up and impossible life, I just don't have words for that. No one wants this. It shouldn't be that way, but it is... and based on some of the comments in this thread, it's not hard to see why people don't want this.
However it gets determined I don't know and likely wont, but I can tell you with every fiber of my being that it is not a choice that I am making. It is just the way it is.