The things my customers say...

[lxskllr]

Do you do pawn also, or just loans? I remember your old avatar had a pawn shop image. Maybe if he posted collateral, you could loan him some money, and wouldn't have to tear his cartridges.

 

[XMan]

I have actually been taking notes for a long time. When I retire I'm considering writing a non-fiction book called "Your IT Guy Laughs at You: You Are Not Expected To Understand Why."

Some choice tidbits from over the years:

Me: "Are you running MacOS or Windows."
"Neither, it's a Dell."

...

"I don't know what's wrong, my manager just told me to call."

...

2017. System in question launched in 2014.
"I've been running this machine for 40 years! I know when it needs a tech!"

...

"I unplugged the machine, and when I plugged it back in it told me it was unplugged."

...

"Why aren't my jobs coming out? I select print to One Note 2010 and it never comes out of the machine!"

...

"Our IT replaced the DNS server and now we can't print. They told us to call you, the printer needs to be replaced."

 

[highland145]

Do you do pawn also, or just loans? I remember your old avatar had a pawn shop image. Maybe if he posted collateral, you could loan him some money, and wouldn't have to tear his cartridges.

Just loans. Looked at doing pawns a few years ago but decided not to.

But the cartridges pop so satisfyingly.

 

[Chaotic42]

On a breakfast buffet.
Customer "can I have some fresh bacon?"
Take the pan in the kitchen and flip the bacon upside down.
"Here you go ma'am "
Customer "thank you much!"

I've got a million of these from when I worked at McDonald's, but we had a lady come in right before close and order a fish sandwich. I was in the back and she pointed at me and yelled "and that had better be fresh out of the oil!". So, bowing to her wishes, I found the least appealing fish we had in a bin in the warmer and dropped it back in the oil for thirty seconds.

 

[IEC]

Ahhh, yes. We refer to users like this as "throwing ID-10-T errors" internally. Mostly because they're the ones who come in with every popup and toolbar under the sun, still open, and after they "called the man from Microsoft like the sign on the screen says to and paid them $350 and the virus is still there."

while(humanity.isStupid()) {
exec("mount -o force,ro /dev/hazuki/face /mnt/desk")
}

Ah, the old ID-10-T joke has traction outside the military, I see. Although calling it the "ID Ten Tango" form makes it considerably less obvious :shiftyeyes;

 

[Chaotic42]

Just loans. Looked at doing pawns a few years ago but decided not to.

But the cartridges pop so satisfyingly.

Every time I think of pawning, I think of this NSFW clip from Metalocalypse:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=a_r-drHjT5o

 

[highland145]

Every time I think of pawning, I think of this NSFW clip from Metalocalypse:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=a_r-drHjT5o

That is weird.

 

[IronWing]

I've got a million of these from when I worked at McDonald's, but we had a lady come in right before close and order a fish sandwich. I was in the back and she pointed at me and yelled "and that had better be fresh out of the oil!". So, bowing to her wishes, I found the least appealing fish we had in a bin in the warmer and dropped it back in the oil for thirty seconds.

I hope the oil was cold.

 

[MrDudeMan]

They technically aren't wrong. The case that houses the processor/motherboard/memory/disks/etc is generally called the CPU or central processing unit. There are individual pieces that make up the CPU, and over time, CPU has come to be synonymous with processor, but years ago, there was a CPU, a monitor, and keyboard/mouse. Those were they parts of a computer.

No, they weren't. You're wrong and you are perpetuating this failed terminology. It has always meant central processing unit and it is not correct to call any other part of a computer by that name. You wouldn't point at a person and call them a spleen.

The word you're thinking of is computer. That word has been overloaded to mean the tower, but it has evolved to mean whatever form the computer has taken: laptop, desktop, embedded, etc. CPU has always meant CPU and only CPU. It's a specific component with no overloads.

 

[GagHalfrunt]

I have actually been taking notes for a long time. When I retire I'm considering writing a non-fiction book called "Your IT Guy Laughs at You: You Are Not Expected To Understand Why."

Some choice tidbits from over the years:

Me: "Are you running MacOS or Windows."
"Neither, it's a Dell."

...

"I don't know what's wrong, my manager just told me to call."

...

2017. System in question launched in 2014.
"I've been running this machine for 40 years! I know when it needs a tech!"

...

"I unplugged the machine, and when I plugged it back in it told me it was unplugged."

...

"Why aren't my jobs coming out? I select print to One Note 2010 and it never comes out of the machine!"

...

"Our IT replaced the DNS server and now we can't print. They told us to call you, the printer needs to be replaced."

Dilbert has had that covered for almost 30 years now.

 

[highland145]

No, they weren't. You're wrong and you are perpetuating this failed terminology. It has always meant central processing unit and it is not correct to call any other part of a computer by that name. You wouldn't point at a person and call them a spleen.

The word you're thinking of is computer. That word has been overloaded to mean the tower, but it has evolved to mean whatever form the computer has taken: laptop, desktop, embedded, etc. CPU has always meant CPU and only CPU. It's a specific component with no overloads.

I might..... or an appendix, useless piece of colon tissue.

 

[Ns1]

You wouldn't point at a person and call them a spleen.

I'd pick a different body part.

 

[mindless1]

No, they weren't. You're wrong and you are perpetuating this failed terminology. It has always meant central processing unit and it is not correct to call any other part of a computer by that name. You wouldn't point at a person and call them a spleen.

The word you're thinking of is computer. That word has been overloaded to mean the tower, but it has evolved to mean whatever form the computer has taken: laptop, desktop, embedded, etc. CPU has always meant CPU and only CPU. It's a specific component with no overloads.

It was a valid term for the closet sized chassis containing multiple components back when mainframes took up an entire room (there was no single piece CPU chip), and there was some carryover of the term once there were chip CPUs, but someone who doesn't know the difference years later in the PC era, probably wouldn't know that earlier reference either.

 

[whm1974]

Has anyone have any experience with computers dying from their owners/users smoking around them? I had one couple years ago who's system died from them doing just that. They got mad at me telling them to a buy a new computer for some reason, and got even madder after I also them not to smoke when they are using their computers.

 

[dave_the_nerd]

http://rinkworks.com/stupid/

 

[mindless1]

Has anyone have any experience with computers dying from their owners/users smoking around them? I had one couple years ago who's system died from them doing just that. They got mad at me telling them to a buy a new computer for some reason, and got even madder after I also them not to smoke when they are using their computers.

You might have de-emphasized the smoking and stated it overheated or was too old to be cost effective to repair.

Smoking by itself does tend to accelerate dust clogging and foul electrical contacts but these are things that can be fixed.

It might make one too gross for anyone to want to touch it for repair so system replacement was probably the right move but nobody wants to be told that. Ultimately it's best not to blame the user too much even if they did not follow best practices. Maybe mumble something like "needs cleaned out more often", at least that's more passive.

It also helps to make sure the case has a single point of air entry and put a low micron filter panel on with a replacement interval stipulated.

 

[highland145]

You might have de-emphasized the smoking and stated it overheated or was too old to be cost effective to repair. Smoking by itself does not kill computers. It might make one too gross for anyone to want to touch it for repair but that's not quite the same thing.

IDK, a customer thought that I needed a set of ceramic light houses. It was like they had stickum on them.

 

[whm1974]

You might have de-emphasized the smoking and stated it overheated or was too old to be cost effective to repair.

Smoking by itself does not kill computers. It does tend to accelerate dust clogging and foul electrical contacts but these are things that can be fixed.

It might make one too gross for anyone to want to touch it for repair but that's not quite the same thing. Ultimately it's best not to blame the user too much even if they did not follow best practices towards a long system lifespan.

As I recall, I strongly gagged when I opened the case. The thing would even boot. I swear that that rig was so full of nicotine I was getting dizzy just breathing around it.

 

[mindless1]

^ Yeah but if their computer is like that then most of the things around it are too so they're used to it including the stink.

 

[whm1974]

^ Yeah but if their computer is like that then most of the things around it are too so they're used to it including the stink.

I would have to disagree with you about computers can't die from users smoking around them. I think in this case the system died from overheating from the really thick layer of ashes and dust that covered everything. I certainly wasn't going to risk getting sick from cleaning it.

 

[GagHalfrunt]

Former smoker. The smoking didn't cause the early demise of my computer back then, but it damn well could have. It was really gross inside, the smoke particles collect and get sticky and adhere to everything. The intake fans were like somebody poured honey into them and let it harden. Can't believe I used to willingly suck that stuff into my lungs.

 

[BudAshes]

When I used to work in a computer repair shop I did data recovery for this lady after her daughter, who was in highschool, had accidentally deleted some osx partitions trying to install linux. There were a bunch of school files and pictures the daughter had lost. I had her open a few files just to confirm we recovered the right data and one of them was a close up dong pick. She quickly closed it but the damage was done. I'd imagine there was a real awkward conversation with her daughter later that day.

 

[Ichinisan]

No, they weren't. You're wrong and you are perpetuating this failed terminology. It has always meant central processing unit and it is not correct to call any other part of a computer by that name. You wouldn't point at a person and call them a spleen.

The word you're thinking of is computer. That word has been overloaded to mean the tower, but it has evolved to mean whatever form the computer has taken: laptop, desktop, embedded, etc. CPU has always meant CPU and only CPU. It's a specific component with no overloads.

Back in the late '90s / early 2000s, I facepalmed when my "introduction to microcomputers" class taught everyone to call the computer a "CPU." They REALLY reinforced it too.

Even though it was always incorrect, some people were taught that in school.

 

[lxskllr]

I have actually been taking notes for a long time. When I retire I'm considering writing a non-fiction book called "Your IT Guy Laughs at You: You Are Not Expected To Understand Why."

Some choice tidbits from over the years:

Me: "Are you running MacOS or Windows."
"Neither, it's a Dell."

...

"I don't know what's wrong, my manager just told me to call."

...

2017. System in question launched in 2014.
"I've been running this machine for 40 years! I know when it needs a tech!"

...

"I unplugged the machine, and when I plugged it back in it told me it was unplugged."

...

"Why aren't my jobs coming out? I select print to One Note 2010 and it never comes out of the machine!"

...

"Our IT replaced the DNS server and now we can't print. They told us to call you, the printer needs to be replaced."

My first IBM compatible was 486dx50. It was a purchased beige box, and instead of a mouse, I opted to get a trackball. I had taken it in to work, and was showing to the draftsman. He slides the trackball back and forth across the desk, and said he didn't think it would work for him. I'm like "umm... Ok then", and take it away. For years after. it would cross my mind, and I'd wonder if he was trolling me, or was really that dumb. After quitting, and coming back to the same draftsman, I've come to the conclusion that he really is that dumb. Some of the shit I hear in that office, and see done...

 

[Darwin333]

IDK, a customer thought that I needed a set of ceramic light houses. It was like they had stickum on them.

How often do you get offered poon or BJs at work? More importantly, how often are those offers from someone a reasonable man might consider accepting from?