The Pill

[Grasshopper27]

Originally posted by: luvly
LOL, Grasshopper. I knew someone would say that. My body and health comes first. I would enjoy sex, but it has to be with someone willing to do it the way we mutually agree. If it's some a**hole who feels entitled to it no matter what the situation, even when my health is at risk and it would be best if he just put on a condom, then I say in big letters: SCREW HIM. I said for his pleasure because refusing to use condom is solely for his pleasure beyond the pleasure of both parties.

If there is some health reason that you cannot take the pill, then that is understandable. Your first comment sounded like a blanket statement that preventing pregency was his responsiblty, not yours.

It also sounded like you wouldn't be willing to consider ANY contriception that involved you at all.

If that perception is wrong, please clarify, because that is how I read it.

As for the "pleasure" of a condom, no it doesn't feel the same, but that applies to both people. I fully support condom use in many situations, but it doesn't apply 100% of the time to everyone. In a commited relationship like ours, there are options other than condoms. 🙂

Grasshopper

 

[MomAndSkoorbaby]

YAYE! MrsSkoorb is the birth control expert! 😛

First all, if a couple is not married or commited long term to each other, I believe each should take responsibility for both prevention of AIDS and other STDs as well as an unwanted pregnancy. Either way you look at it, the male has to wear a condom and while the woman can take the pill, that doesn't allow protection against STDs...so she asks the male to please wear a condom!

However, once a couple is firmly committed, either married or whatever people do these days, there should be a frank discussion of birth control. The pill has changed so much in the last decade that side effects are very low, if any, for most people. If used properly, it is 99%.

If either person has had previous partners, get checked for the love of God. Don't just assume that you are safe and healthy even if you have always used protection. The only 100% method of prevention of STDs and pregnancy, is NOT HAVING SEX!

There. My 2 cents worth.

MRSSKOORB, RN.

 

"I assume NOTHING. Many posts state flat out that they'd rather have their GF take the pill than bother with a condom. There's no medical side effects to a condom. Can't say the same about the pill. How lazy, stupid and/or inconsiderate can you get?"

Woooooooooohoooooooooo! You're my angel, Ornery. If you weren't married and way older, I would snatch you. I'm kidding. But you stated my point. In all instances I come across where a man refused to use condom, it was simply because of his laziness and the sex wouldn't be as fun for him. Some of them abuse their significant other so she'll risk her life for his pleasure. I don't want that. That's all. If you shouldn't wear the condom for such lame reason, I shouldn't risk my health either.

Grasshopper, I hope that answers your question. Maybe men can get to have a taste of their own medicine when pills come out for them. We'll see them with the mood swing and adding the weight.

 

[peter584]

I worked with this guy who was in a couple of porn movies. One day we went to lunch and he said he needed some gas. So we go to the gas station. He starts filling it up, and right when the tank is about to overflow he pulls out the nozzle and sprays gas all over the car. I guess some habits are hard to brake.:Q

 

[MomAndSkoorbaby]

It is up to every individual which form of birth control should be used.

THE PILL HAS CHANGED!

The ignorance surrounding side effects while on the pill is astounding! Some people really have to learn to research before they post....

Regardless I, personally, will not be staying in the pill for more than 10 years....studies have not been thoroughly conducted enough for me to risk long term effects such as certain cancers....

 

[Grasshopper27]

Originally posted by: MrsSkoorb
YAYE! MrsSkoorb is the birth control expert!

I was hoping you'd chime in with your 2 cents. 😀

First all, if a couple is not married or commited long term to each other, I believe each should take responsibility for both prevention of AIDS and other STDs as well as an unwanted pregnancy. Either way you look at it, the male has to wear a condom and while the woman can take the pill, that doesn't allow protection against STDs...so she asks the male to please wear a condom!

I agree, and I'm always happy to do it if asked. Wearing a condom shows respect and consideration for a woman, this is always a good thing!

However, once a couple is firmly committed, either married or whatever people do these days, there should be a frank discussion of birth control. The pill has changed so much in the last decade that side effects are very low, if any, for most people. If used properly, it is 99%.

That would be us at this point, which is why I'm looking into this.

If either person has had previous partners, get checked for the love of God. Don't just assume that you are safe and healthy even if you have always used protection. The only 100% method of prevention of STDs and pregnancy, is NOT HAVING SEX!

We did just that, about two months after we met, we started having sex. Within a few weeks when it was obvious that was going to continue, we went to her doctor and both got blood tests for STDs. We're both clean, wahoo! 🙂

There. My 2 cents worth.

More like $2 worth from you... 😛

MRSSKOORB, RN.

The mods should change the title under your name to "Resident AT RN"

😀

Grasshopper

 

[MomAndSkoorbaby]

Originally posted by: grasshopper26

Originally posted by: MrsSkoorb
YAYE! MrsSkoorb is the birth control expert!

I was hoping you'd chime in with your 2 cents. 😀

First all, if a couple is not married or commited long term to each other, I believe each should take responsibility for both prevention of AIDS and other STDs as well as an unwanted pregnancy. Either way you look at it, the male has to wear a condom and while the woman can take the pill, that doesn't allow protection against STDs...so she asks the male to please wear a condom!

I agree, and I'm always happy to do it if asked. Wearing a condom shows respect and consideration for a woman, this is always a good thing!

However, once a couple is firmly committed, either married or whatever people do these days, there should be a frank discussion of birth control. The pill has changed so much in the last decade that side effects are very low, if any, for most people. If used properly, it is 99%.

That would be us at this point, which is why I'm looking into this.

If either person has had previous partners, get checked for the love of God. Don't just assume that you are safe and healthy even if you have always used protection. The only 100% method of prevention of STDs and pregnancy, is NOT HAVING SEX!

We did just that, about two months after we met, we started having sex. Within a few weeks when it was obvious that was going to continue, we went to her doctor and both got blood tests for STDs. We're both clean, wahoo! 🙂

There. My 2 cents worth.

More like $2 worth from you... 😛

MRSSKOORB, RN.

The mods should change the title under your name to "Resident AT RN"

😀

Grasshopper

Why, thank you Grasshopper-man! Many times I come into threads like this and simply don't know where to start. Simply put, if anyone wants specific information, PM me and I would be more than happy to provide some, with references of course, if needed. 🙂

Oh and Grasshopper: You were very intelligent with your approach to safe sex. MrsSkoorb gives you 1000 Skoorb points! 😛

 

[Grasshopper27]

Originally posted by: MrsSkoorb
Why, thank you Grasshopper-man! Many times I come into threads like this and simply don't know where to start. Simply put, if anyone wants specific information, PM me and I would be more than happy to provide some, with references of course, if needed. 🙂

My main problem is that I don't know what questions to ask.

I guess Thumper will probably have specific questions to ask her doctor, and of course this only makes sense if both her and her doctor agree with the idea. Perhaps there will be other possible options suggested at that time too.

From her past stories she has told me, I know how much of a trust thing it is to be willing to have sex with me sans condom, which is why I was so surprised the first few times. I have asked before and she's basicly said not to worry, so I know she both trusts me and wants to spend her life with me.

I cannot describe in words how comforting that feeling is, to just know that she and I are that close. Sends shivers down my spine if I sit and think about it. She is the greatest! 😀

Oh and Grasshopper: You were very intelligent with your approach to safe sex. MrsSkoorb gives you 1000 Skoorb points! 😛

Oh boy, my first Skoorb points! Yahoo! Err, do I get a certificate with a gold seal? 😉

As for my approach to safe sex, you DO know what happened to me when I was 16, right? I'm obviously a LOT more responsible now, experience does that to you...

Grasshopper

 

[Woody06]

Originally posted by: luvly
"I assume NOTHING. Many posts state flat out that they'd rather have their GF take the pill than bother with a condom. There's no medical side effects to a condom. Can't say the same about the pill. How lazy, stupid and/or inconsiderate can you get?"

Woooooooooohoooooooooo! You're my angel, Ornery. If you weren't married and way older, I would snatch you. I'm kidding. But you stated my point. In all instances I come across where a man refused to use condom, it was simply because of his laziness and the sex wouldn't be as fun for him. Some of them abuse their significant other so she'll risk her life for his pleasure. I don't want that. That's all. If you shouldn't wear the condom for such lame reason, I shouldn't risk my health either.

Grasshopper, I hope that answers your question. Maybe men can get to have a taste of their own medicine when pills come out for them. We'll see them with the mood swing and adding the weight.

While simply not wearing a condom for those reasons is definitly wrong, there's nothing wrong with looking into other options in a serious relationship.

 

[her209]

Nothing beats a good old ATOT catfight 😀

 

[Ornery]

"While simply not wearing a condom for those reasons is definitly wrong, there's nothing wrong with looking into other options in a serious relationship."

I suspect Thumper, like most women, will be harped at till she sees the "wisdom" of the pill. Gee, I wonder why it even requires a prescription these days? Messing with women's hormones shouldn't be much concern at all, should it?

I had a friend who insisted his wife have tubal ligation, rather than him having the far easier, less risky vasectomy. Sure, tubal ligation is performed tens of thousands of times every year with no problems at all. Insignificant risk most would say, but I find his attitude to be disgusting. Wearing a condom or alternative method to mutual orgasm other than coitus, which carries zero risk VS female hormone treatment, which does carry risk and side effects? Decisions, decisions...

 

[Yossarian]

Originally posted by: luvly
I would enjoy sex, but it has to be with someone willing to do it the way we mutually agree.

lol, sounds like by "mutually agree" you mean "your way or not at all" 😉

 

[Geekbabe]

I've completed my family and surgery for an emergency associated with childbirth has left me with no worries of having anymore. Lol, lemmie tell you having the burden of that worry lifted from your shoulders certainly improves one's romantic life 🙂

 

[Woody06]

Originally posted by: Ornery
"While simply not wearing a condom for those reasons is definitly wrong, there's nothing wrong with looking into other options in a serious relationship."

I suspect Thumper, like most women, will be harped at till she sees the "wisdom" of the pill. Gee, I wonder why it even requires a prescription these days? Messing with women's hormones shouldn't be much concern at all, should it?

I had a friend who insisted his wife have tubal ligation, rather than him having the far easier, less risky vasectomy. Sure, tubal ligation is performed tens of thousands of times every year with no problems at all. Insignificant risk most would say, but I find his attitude to be disgusting. Wearing a condom or alternative method to mutual orgasm other than coitus, which carries zero risk VS female hormone treatment, which does carry risk and side effects? Decisions, decisions...

I wasnt saying that other means of birth control is the only way to go, all i meant was that someone shouldnt get harped on just becuase he's asking questions, it's not like he's telling her she has to go on the pill, hes made it very clear if it happened it would be a mutual descision with all pros and cons weighed.

 

[djheater]

One more dj-ling and then it's the big V for me 🙂

It's reversible you know.

 

[Grasshopper27]

Originally posted by: Ornery
I suspect Thumper, like most women, will be harped at till she sees the "wisdom" of the pill. Gee, I wonder why it even requires a prescription these days? Messing with women's hormones shouldn't be much concern at all, should it?

Don't be foolish, if it isn't right for her, if she's not comfortable with it, if her doctor says no, then forget it, we'll find something else.

I would never pressure Thumper into doing something to her body against her wishes or health, that would be very disrespectful.

That being said, the pill does in fact have some health benefits, so it isn't all risks...

I had a friend who insisted his wife have tubal ligation, rather than him having the far easier, less risky vasectomy.

I'd never in a million years even ask her to do that. It is quite hard to reverse.

I don't ever see myself getting a vasectomy either for the same reasons.

Grasshopper

 

[Grasshopper27]

Originally posted by: Geekbabe
I've completed my family and surgery for an emergency associated with childbirth has left me with no worries of having anymore. Lol, lemmie tell you having the burden of that worry lifted from your shoulders certainly improves one's romantic life 🙂

Hey, I didn't know you had kids, how on Earth did I miss that one?

I'm sorry to hear of the problems with childbirth, but if your children were all ok and you survived and didn't want any more, then all is ok then. Must have been scary at the time! *hug*

I can however understand how it could improve the romance a bit. There have been times when I've thought about the whole kid issue.

Grasshopper

 

[Grasshopper27]

Originally posted by: djheater
One more dj-ling and then it's the big V for me 🙂

It's reversible you know.

Someone will take a knife to me down there when it is a cold, frosty day in hell. 🙂

If Thumper wanted to get her tubes tied, I believe I'd actually argue against that plan...

Reversible or not, it isn't guarenteed and, well, ick! 🙂

Grasshopper

 

[Jfur]

Originally posted by: grasshopper26

Originally posted by: djheater
One more dj-ling and then it's the big V for me 🙂

It's reversible you know.

Someone will take a knife to me down there when it is a cold, frosty day in hell. 🙂

If Thumper wanted to get her tubes tied, I believe I'd actually argue against that plan...

Reversible or not, it isn't guarenteed and, well, ick! 🙂

Grasshopper

it's a good option if you aren't planning to have more kids

 

[Grasshopper27]

Originally posted by: Jfur
it's a good option if you aren't planning to have more kids

That isn't the point... Even if you're not, well... ick! 🙂

Besides, what if we did want more kids and changed our minds?

Of course what she does with her body is her business, but... well... ICK! 😉

Grasshopper

 

[Storm]

Originally posted by: Ornery
I never smoked cigarettes either! Their poor record was enough for me to not bother taking the chance. The pill's record isn't as bad by a long shot, but it sure as hell ain't squeaky clean. Why take the chance? Most of the pill's bad effects have come to light in the last 15 or twenty years. I opted out long before that. Sounds like we made the right decision, IMO. Even back then, there were rumors about having problems getting pregnant after going off the pill. True or not, why take the chance.

And for crying out loud, can you guys not get your rocks off without insertion? My God, you kids are in a rut already!

I think its cool you were considerate of your SO I guess your wife now, but grasshopper started this thread 12/07/2002 3:55 AM. Many members dont know you are older than most of us or have a family. I personally didnt know til luvly mentioned it. I swear she either must have a photographic memory or like a zillion post-its with tidbits on ATOT members. Anyways it would be a tremedous help to everyone if you told everyone where you're coming from the beginning ie you are married for a long time and you opted out long before that. If you said that upfront I think other ATOT members would have been more understanding and there wouldnt be flaming posts against you. Cuz otherwise it would seem like you are talking about now and not back then like 20+ years ago.

Originally posted by: luvly

Well, maybe. You're wrong about the long term relationship comment. But frankly, I can show you many women with men that treat them like princesses and would do the world for them. That's what I want. Nothing wrong. I'm not asking anyone to adjust to my belief system or make the sacrifices. I'm just interested in someone whose ways are already set that way. And I might actually have found one. Actually, frankly, I do know many guys who're like that. It's just not too many are really attractive. But you know there are some people in life who can live a single life with companionship. I am one who has no problem living such life. I actually enjoy the single life with male friends. 😉 Soon, maybe it'll just be a single male companion. 😛

Dang luvly you're always causing a ruckus 😛. Can you really show many women with men that treat them like princesses and would do the world for them based on your criteria? It might be just me but based on all your criteria except the princess on a pedestal aspect the guy you're looking for would be the perfect guy and every woman would want him. Are you telling us you have everything it takes to beat out all the other women to get this man? Now take into account the princess on a pedestal aspect and now you have some guy that Im not sure even exists... Mathematically there should be a percentage of guys like that but actually finding Mr. Right... thats a lot more difficult.

Even then it certainly sounds unrealistic. But if you do meet this guy be sure to let everyone I know I would like to meet him more out of curiosity than anything.

Im sure there are more people on these boards that would like companionship than they are willing to post about or admit.

Maybe men can get to have a taste of their own medicine when pills come out for them. We'll see them with the mood swing and adding the weight.

Thats a brash statement... It sounds like you rather have men take a risk of using a birthcontrol pill rather than yourself. Doesn't this contradict your earlier statement that you said earlier about guys that are too lazy to use a condom and screw them? Or do you believe in the future if the both of you agree to have intercourse with penetration to both use the pill to minimize the chance of pregnancy?



I think its cool we have a registered nurse on ATOT that frequently posts. Just out of curiosity, MrsSkoorb whats the deal with the male pill? I would think that chance of sterility and fertility would be more of a problem side effect than gaining weight and mood swings. Oh yea luvly would you want your man to be on the pill so he can get mood swings YOU have to deal with? 😉

 

[Squisher]

My wife had her tubes tied during her last c-section(16yrs. ago), but she is on the pill to control her periods.

I believe there has been some speculation as to an association between long tern use of the pill and some cancers, but there has also been an association with the pill lessening the chances of getting other cancers.


And, there is no "the pill", there are many different pills with a wide range of side effects. In high school I had a girl friend that turn into a total schizo-zoid when she took the pill. The wife's pills do nothing of the sort.

 

[Grasshopper27]

Originally posted by: Storm
I think its cool you were considerate of your SO I guess your wife now, but grasshopper started this thread 12/07/2002 3:55 AM.

I'm in Texas, so just for the record I started it at 2:55 AM 🙂

Thumper gets off work at 3AM and she called me about 20 minutes before that thread to tell me she was coming over. Since this was something I've been thinking about, I thought I'd make a post and ask for some thoughts and advice on the subject.

I personally didnt know til luvly mentioned it. I swear she ither must have a photographic memory or like a zillion post-its with tidbits on ATOT members.

For the record, I like luvly, she's nice and I like (most) of her posts.

Personally I think she has a bit of a hangup when it comes to men, but then we ALL have hangups somewhere in our lives. I know I have my fair share of them. 😉

I don't expect everyone to agree with me, just respect me. I respect luvly. That should be the end of that arguement hopefully. 😀

Maybe men can get to have a taste of their own medicine when pills come out for them. We'll see them with the mood swing and adding the weight.

Thats a brash statement...

I don't think so, rather I think it says something about her frustations about the double standard many men place on women. We expect a lot of things out of women that we're not willing to do outselves.

Male pregnacy could come out tomorrow, but I'm personally not going to sign up. Why? Cause I know I just don't have what it takes. Not that I'm expecting that to be Thumper's "job", but she was built for it, I wasn't. That is just the way of things.

That being said, there are a lot of men out there who take that point too far, and expect things out of women that SHOULD be equal items. Some men won't do house chores for example, even if the wife works just as many hours as he does. That is an example of a double standard, and I think luvly's frustration comes from that attitude.

I think its cool we have a registered nurse on ATOT that frequently posts.

It doesn't hurt that she's got a great sense of humor and one heck of a smart brain to go along with that. 🙂

Grasshopper

 

[Stark]

Originally posted by: grasshopper26

Originally posted by: notfred
SOOOOO much better than condoms. I hate those things.

To be honest, we've gotten lazy the past few weeks when it comes to condoms. 🙁

She comes over, we watch a movie, cuddle, etc... Well, you know. 😛

We're both clean, so that isn't an issue, and to be honest it IS better without them... We both want kids, just not right yet. After we've been married a few years first and our income is more stable.

Grasshopper

Grasshopper = not smart

 

[Jfur]

Are you telling us you have everything it takes to beat out all the other women to get this man? Now take into account the princess on a pedestal aspect and now you have some guy that Im not sure even exists... Mathematically there should be a percentage of guys like that but actually finding Mr. Right... thats a lot more difficult.

Even then it certainly sounds unrealistic. But if you do meet this guy be sure to let everyone I know I would like to meet him more out of curiosity than anything.

Too late -- I already have him (there's only one) 😀 But you can come try and steal him (that always cracks me up) 😛