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So the ex doesn't want me in our baby's life

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AmerDoux said:
yes, its possible she has another man that she is interested in and you need to protect yourself. another scenario is that she is caving to family pressure. when i told my parents that i was pregnant (and not married) the first thing out of both their mouths was that SOB who got me pregnant wouldnt have squat to do with me or the baby ever again. it was a knee jerk reaction. keep your mind open. try to get her to talk to you, not email or text, but talk to you on the phone. do not send her any emails or texts, as these can later be used against you.

its great that you are getting a lawyer, just make sure its one in CA. dont waste your money on a lawyer in another state. child custody laws are different in each state so you want advice from someone who is experienced in CA law. CA child custody laws are more liberal and if you ask for it, you can expect to get 50% physical and legal custody of your child. she would have to prove that you are negligent for you not to get it or that you are not capable of taking care of the child.

remember, this isnt about you or her anymore. its not about who wins or getting even either. everything you do should be in the best interest of the child.
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pics of you?
 
AmerDoux said:
remember, this isnt about you or her anymore. its not about who wins or getting even either. everything you do should be in the best interest of the child.
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The mother has already expressed that the best interests of her child are for the OP to not be involved. I suppose we can trust the mother knows what's best for her child. Right now the OP needs to cover his ass and make sure she follows through on that. If she wants him out, that means his money is out as well. This is why he needs to get a lawyer.
 
Hacp said:
Then get subpoenaed and go to jail for not paying child support.
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I don't see anywhere where child support was mentioned. So you break up with a GF, she gets preggers and you automaticly have to pay? WTF? That's kinda messed up.

There must be a way to get away from that though, that's pure BS. What about moving out of the country or being self employed?
 
ShawnD1 said:
The mother has already expressed that the best interests of her child are for the OP to not be involved. I suppose we can trust the mother knows what's best for her child. Right now the OP needs to cover his ass and make sure she follows through on that. If she wants him out, that means his money is out as well. This is why he needs to get a lawyer.
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woah, hold your horses. i never said i agreed with the mother. i said his actions should always reflect what is in the best interest of the child. meaning not to lose sight of his responsibilities as a father. this isnt about him versus ex-gf anymore. she can think whatever she wants but if he wants to be in that childs life, then that child has every right to have its father around and he needs to make sure he has his shit together and be there for that baby. i have not seen the OP post about getting out of child support or wanting out of the childs life. completely the opposite, he said he was devestated to hear her say that to him and wants his rights as a father.
 
RedSquirrel said:
I don't see anywhere where child support was mentioned. So you break up with a GF, she gets preggers and you automaticly have to pay? WTF? That's kinda messed up.

There must be a way to get away from that though, that's pure BS. What about moving out of the country or being self employed?
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18 years of 1000 bucks a month deducted from your check, you never see the money. Moving out of the country is about the only way.
 
redsquirrel said:
i don't see anywhere where child support was mentioned. So you break up with a gf, she gets preggers and you automaticly have to pay? Wtf? That's kinda messed up.

There must be a way to get away from that though, that's pure bs. What about moving out of the country or being self employed?
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paternity test
paternity test
paternity test
paternity test
paternity test

before your name goes on a birth certificate
 
As has already been mentioned, I'd demand a paternity test before paying a dime for anything. Your lawyer should be able to get that set up for you.

I doubt anything will happen before she "calves" however, but you definitely want your ducks in a row when it happens.
 
RedSquirrel said:
I don't see anywhere where child support was mentioned. So you break up with a GF, she gets preggers and you automaticly have to pay? WTF? That's kinda messed up.
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You think that's bad? In jr high my class took a trip to the courthouse and we were allowed to watch a court ruling. A guy was forced to pay child support for kids that the court acknowledged were not his. Lesson: Never date a woman with kids. You can be ordered to pay child support for them after the relationship ends.
 
ShawnD1 said:
You think that's bad? In jr high my class took a trip to the courthouse and we were allowed to watch a court ruling. A guy was forced to pay child support for kids that the court acknowledged were not his. Lesson: Never date a woman with kids. You can be ordered to pay child support for them after the relationship ends.
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Wow that's quite brutal. I'll keep that in mind when I decide I want a GF. Being single does seem to be so much simpler though. 😱

I'm sure there are girls out there who purposely try to set up situations so they get free cash. If you end up having like 10 guys paying child support that's a lot of cash!
 
RedSquirrel said:
Wow that's quite brutal. I'll keep that in mind when I decide I want a GF. Being single does seem to be so much simpler though. 😱

I'm sure there are girls out there who purposely try to set up situations so they get free cash. If you end up having like 10 guys paying child support that's a lot of cash!
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Guys just date chicks with kids because they know they like to fuck.
 
Xanis said:
Um... you're the child's FATHER. You have every damn right to see that child and be part of its life. Don't let this woman tell you otherwise. Take her to court if need be.
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Yup. And don't pay a dime unless you get a paternity test. Seriously. Even if I was the father, if some hag told me I couldn't see the baby then I wouldn't pay a cent. Think of it like siege warfare.
 
ShawnD1 said:
Never date a woman with kids. You can be ordered to pay child support for them after the relationship ends.
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WTF. Is this true?

If it is, I wonder if we have similar dumb-ass laws in the UK. Probably, knowing the f*cking retards that are running the country.
 
spidey07 said:
Don't make any agreements, keep your mouth shut, don't say anything.

Get an attorney now. Don't tell her about it, don't say anything. Let your actions be guided by the attorney.
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Also, I would recommend a paternity test to make sure the baby is actually yours. It could be that the reason she wants you out of the baby's life is that she knows/thinks you are not the father.

-KeithP
 
daw123 said:
WTF. Is this true?
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Canadian laws

another description
The law makes biological parents financially responsible for their children, whether they see them or not. However, when new families include step-parents, the situation is not so straightforward. Provincial law determines the financial obligations of step-parents in common-law relationships. These obligations vary considerably from province to province. In British Columbia, unmarried step-parents are financially responsible for their step-children if they contributed to the children's support for at least one year.
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