So the ex doesn't want me in our baby's life

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Hey Zeus

Hey Zeus

Banned
Dec 31, 2009
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Hacp

Hacp

Lifer
Jun 8, 2005
13,923
2
81
SunSamurai said:
I find it odd no one has questioned him as a father, but you all assume shes just a bad person.

Bunch of fucking lemmings.
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Ya, he should just stay passive so the ex can collect child support while banging someone else.
 
Hacp

Hacp

Lifer
Jun 8, 2005
13,923
2
81
Hey Zeus

Hey Zeus

Banned
Dec 31, 2009
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blackdogdeek said:
this is what i was thinking.

OP, how long ago did she become your ex?
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We were together till i had to come home. The "Plan" or so i thought is that i would come home, take care of him till he's better and then move back and everything would be fine. Ofcourse my plan must have been flawed.
 
Red Squirrel

Red Squirrel

No Lifer
May 24, 2003
70,743
13,855
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www.anyf.ca
I would just comply and while you're at it, shut down any contact with her as well. She might feel bad and rethink of what she wished for but it will be too late.

Passive aggressive FTW.
 
Hacp

Hacp

Lifer
Jun 8, 2005
13,923
2
81
RedSquirrel said:
I would just comply and while you're at it, shut down any contact with her as well. She might feel bad and rethink of what she wished for but it will be too late.

Passive aggressive FTW.
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Epic fail. I'm sure he'll be just jolly when he looks at his next paycheck and sees $XXXX deducted for child support.
 
coloumb

coloumb

Diamond Member
Oct 9, 1999
4,069
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81
Hey Zeus said:
The discussion started when i asked her if she had looked at cribs because i was planning on ordering this and shipping it out to her :

http://www.cribs.com/cribs/convertible-cribs/emilyiicribset.cfm

And her reply back was :

"I'm going to be honest. I think it would be easier if you weren't in the baby's life"
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That's a weird answer when asking about cribs... [awesome choice BTW]. Did anything else lead up to that answer..or was it just out of the blue?

Others are right - hire a lawyer, don't tell her, make sure your rights as a father are protected.. [I hate to ask this -but are you sure the child is yours considering what she's thinking? - DNA test once that kid is born unless they can prove it while it's in the womb]
 
edro

edro

Lifer
Apr 5, 2002
24,326
68
91
Is she just pissed that you left and thinks you are bailing on her?
She probably needs you more than your dad.

You need to do everything you can to stay in that kid's life or else you will be labeled a runaway father and a deadbeat dad.
You WILL have to pay child support unless you can get back together with her and make things work.
 
AreaCode707

AreaCode707

Lifer
Sep 21, 2001
18,447
133
106
SunSamurai said:
I find it odd no one has questioned him as a father, but you all assume shes just a bad person.

Bunch of fucking lemmings.
Click to expand...

I've met him in person an known him online for several years and am also well acquainted with another one of his ex gf's (no baby there) and he's a good guy.
 
lxskllr

lxskllr

No Lifer
Nov 30, 2004
60,363
10,762
126
Hacp said:
Was this through IM or anything recorded? You should keep that conversation, it might help you in the long run!
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Save every correspondence that's made. Document EVERYTHING that happens, when it happens. Things may be rosy? now, but once she gets a lawyer too, it's gonna be war.
 
BoomerD

BoomerD

No Lifer
Feb 26, 2006
66,401
14,798
146
RedSquirrel said:
Change all banking info, new account, new credit card etc...
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Here in Kahleeforneeya, it comes right out of your paycheck...so you'd have to be like my daughter's "baby daddy" and change jobs every month or so, unless you can continue to find "cash jobs" instead of payroll jobs.




krylon said:
this thread is still worthless without pics
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Yep...both of pregnant GF and inept sister. :p
 
B

blackdogdeek

Lifer
Mar 14, 2003
14,453
10
81
alkemyst said:
that really should not have anything to do with it.

She is bound to move on at some point and it should be a non-issue.
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unless, of course, they became ex-spouses when he moved out 9 months ago and she is only 6 months pregnant. the implication being that there is someone else who is the father of the child.
 
A

AmerDoux

Senior member
Dec 4, 2001
644
0
71
yes, its possible she has another man that she is interested in and you need to protect yourself. another scenario is that she is caving to family pressure. when i told my parents that i was pregnant (and not married) the first thing out of both their mouths was that SOB who got me pregnant wouldnt have squat to do with me or the baby ever again. it was a knee jerk reaction. keep your mind open. try to get her to talk to you, not email or text, but talk to you on the phone. do not send her any emails or texts, as these can later be used against you.

its great that you are getting a lawyer, just make sure its one in CA. dont waste your money on a lawyer in another state. child custody laws are different in each state so you want advice from someone who is experienced in CA law. CA child custody laws are more liberal and if you ask for it, you can expect to get 50% physical and legal custody of your child. she would have to prove that you are negligent for you not to get it or that you are not capable of taking care of the child.

remember, this isnt about you or her anymore. its not about who wins or getting even either. everything you do should be in the best interest of the child.
 
A

alphatarget1

Diamond Member
Dec 9, 2001
5,710
0
76
Hey Zeus said:
My ex is 6 months pregnant and told me today it would be "Easier" if it was just her and the baby. She lives in California and i moved home to Pennsylvania in November to take care of my dad who had a stroke. Honestly when she told me today i fucking lost it. Started balling my eyes out.

So it leave's me at a crossroads. I want to be in the baby's life but i'm providing for my father right now and have no idea when i will get back to California. I also am weighing heavily on her wishes even tho they break my heart. Just needed to vent about it. Thanks for reading

HZ
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Is the baby really yours? Whatever you do, do NOT put your name under "father" on the child's birth certificate unless he/she is really yours. The state will stick you with the child support bill even though it's not yours.
 
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JoeBleed

JoeBleed

Golden Member
Jun 27, 2000
1,408
30
91
Wow, i probably missed the answer somewhere, but is she ex by divorce or gf/bf break-up?

Good luck to you. The lawyer advice is something to follow. Good luck on monday.

RedSquirrel said:
Change all banking info, new account, new credit card etc...
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This is good advice he feels she really has gone crazy and she has access to any of his accounts.

Not good advice for dodging child support.
 
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