So the ex doesn't want me in our baby's life

[JohnOfSheffield]

WTF. Is this true?

If it is, I wonder if we have similar dumb-ass laws in the UK. Probably, knowing the f*cking retards that are running the country.

I know for a fact we do not have any kind of law that will force you to pay for children that are not yours (either biologically or via adoption).

I sincerely doubt that the US has any law like that either, he's probably just drunk and making sheit up.

Seriously, think about it for a minute, if there was such a law then a woman could have a LOT of men paying her child support.

 

[ViviTheMage]

Sounds like the kid is in for a great childhood!

 

[Red Dawn]

The discussion started when i asked her if she had looked at cribs because i was planning on ordering this and shipping it out to her :

http://www.cribs.com/cribs/convertible-cribs/emilyiicribset.cfm

And her reply back was :

"I'm going to be honest. I think it would be easier if you weren't in the baby's life"

And your answer should have been "Easier for who?" Look it's your child, you are going to be paying for it for 18 years, unless you're an abusive drunk or doper it's best for the child to have you in his/her life. What might be best though is that you don't have to be married to her.

 

[SunSamurai]

ANY women that even mentioned as a joke that I'm not to be involved in my own flesh and blood is a fucking wise and beautiful woman and deserves to be treated like one.

Im sure from this thread you an expert on them both and their history.

 

[SunSamurai]

Ya, he should just stay passive so the ex can collect child support while banging someone else.

Assumptions make you look stupid. Good luck with that.

 

[dirtboy]

I could be confused, but isn't your ex (ex-wife?) a member here?

 

[Newbian]

I could be confused, but isn't your ex (ex-wife?) a member here?

Of course not, there are no women on the internet.

 

[SunSamurai]

I've met him in person an known him online for several years and am also well acquainted with another one of his ex gf's (no baby there) and he's a good guy.

This is a legitimate and sensible. Id be inclined to believe you, my only strife is not that people are helping, but people are trying to demonize the woman without being involved in any way except an online forum. TO me, they are shit and are projecting their sad lives here.

 

[spidey07]

This is a legitimate and sensible. Id be inclined to believe you, my only strife is not that people are helping, but people are trying to demonize the woman without being involved in any way except an online forum. TO me, they are shit and are projecting their sad lives here.

Or the more likely scenario is during the day OT is mostly filled with older grown ups who work and have seen personal friends go through the same thing and recognize all the patterns and behaviors including the likely outcome. That's why the lawyer is necessary because we've seen what happens to saps that don't.

 

[ShawnD1]

Of course not, there are no women on the internet.

This will all change when the beauty parlors and shopping malls get wifi

 

[Red Dawn]

This is a legitimate and sensible. Id be inclined to believe you, my only strife is not that people are helping, but people are trying to demonize the woman without being involved in any way except an online forum. TO me, they are shit and are projecting their sad lives here.

Since when did this thread start to be about you?

 

[lxskllr]

I sincerely doubt that the US has any law like that either, he's probably just drunk and making sheit up.

Seriously, think about it for a minute, if there was such a law then a woman could have a LOT of men paying her child support.

That absolutely is a law. I don't know all the details, but if you treat a child as your own, it becomes yours as far as payments are concerned. You have very few other rights, but you do get the "right" to pay it's worthless mother.

 

[Patranus]

That absolutely is a law. I don't know all the details, but if you treat a child as your own, it becomes yours as far as payments are concerned. You have very few other rights, but you do get the "right" to pay it's worthless mother.

Not only that but a chick can put anyones name on the birth certificate and...well...this can screw anyone over.

http://www.cnn.com/2007/US/07/11/paternity.cases/index.html

Get a paternity test BEFORE the child is born and BEFORE any birth certificate is filled out.

 

[JohnOfSheffield]

That absolutely is a law. I don't know all the details, but if you treat a child as your own, it becomes yours as far as payments are concerned. You have very few other rights, but you do get the "right" to pay it's worthless mother.

That is fucked up, i know for a fact that it's not like that in the UK.

If there was such a law i would both have to pay child support and recieve child support.

 

[ShawnD1]

Get a paternity test BEFORE the child is born and BEFORE any birth certificate is filled out.

I'm just curious, but would it make her look really bad in court if she refused to do this? I'm thinking this would go on the same logic of how refusing a sobriety test automatically makes you guilty.

 

[lxskllr]

That is fucked up, i know for a fact that it's not like that in the UK.

If there was such a law i would both have to pay child support and recieve child support.

What sucks about it, is it punishes men for acting appropriately. I would treat any child as my own if I were dating it's mother. I consider it a package deal. It isn't right to force that after breakup though. All that kind of crap does is foster mistrust, and open up honest people to scams which are enforced by the full power of the state.

 

[tyler811]

Are you paying any child support? Is there a legal ruling granting her full custody of the child. Need more details to help point you in the right direction.

It fucking amazes me how well people here read. So many people here must have ADD because they do not have the ability to read past two sentences. WTF Should he have provided cliffs for the reading challenged?

SHE IS 6 MONTHS PREGANT you do not pay child support on a fetus.

Sorry rant done but I wish people here would read a gosh darn post.

Two ways to look at this mate.
One no child support, if she does not want you involved with the child then there is no monetary support.
Two is when that kid is older then he/she might be wondering why dad was never around and for some people it presents a big obstacle in life.

Or three and I am not trying to be an ass about this but maybe she told you to take a hike because the baby is not yours.

 

[JohnOfSheffield]

What sucks about it, is it punishes men for acting appropriately. I would treat any child as my own if I were dating it's mother. I consider it a package deal. It isn't right to force that after breakup though. All that kind of crap does is foster mistrust, and open up honest people to scams which are enforced by the full power of the state.

I both would and have done that with my ex's kids and she did the same with mine, of course, if she hadn't or i didn't we would never have been involved in the first place.

It sucks through and through, but i think this is a case where a law was written and signed before the implications of it were thought through, at least i hope so. If that is the case it should be changed as soon as possible.

I can imagine WHY this law was written but someone should have gotten how it's fucked up and changed it by now.

 

[PJABBER]

Don't make any agreements, keep your mouth shut, don't say anything.

Get an attorney now. Don't tell her about it, don't say anything. Let your actions be guided by the attorney.

QFT. You need someone very tough and very professional on your side. Preferably a female attorney that believes fervently in father's rights. Be sure to ask.

I would first go about getting a paternity test done. As this is going to set off the little lady, no matter how she came to be pregnant, it is definitely a good idea to have an attorney pursue the case for the test.

If the kid is yours, you are likely going to be in a world of hurt. Man up and accept that now.

Want to be a good parent? Don't give up hope even if it takes years to resolve.

More info here -

http://www.fathersrightsinc.com/

http://singleparents.about.com/od/legalissues/tp/fathers_rights_organizations.htm

 

[tyler811]

I'm going to talk to a lawyer on monday.

You better update on Monday we do not need another spider thread here.

 

[episodic]

The child support is going to happen - and you need a lawyer to protect what rights you do have. Get a lawyer NOW. . . .

 

[AznAnarchy99]

Why is this easier? It isn't easier for a child to have one parent.

As a child from divorced parents, it is really a mind fuck as your growing up.

 

[xanis]

Patranus has said it several times, but I think it needs some reinforcement:

Get a paternity test.

 

[Patranus]

QFT. You need someone very tough and very professional on your side. Preferably a female attorney that believes fervently in father's rights. Be sure to ask.

I would first go about getting a paternity test done. As this is going to set off the little lady, no matter how she came to be pregnant, it is definitely a good idea to have an attorney pursue the case for the test.

If the kid is yours, you are likely going to be in a world of hurt. Man up and accept that now.

Want to be a good parent? Don't give up hope even if it takes years to resolve.

More info here -

http://www.fathersrightsinc.com/

http://singleparents.about.com/od/legalissues/tp/fathers_rights_organizations.htm

Another solution is for you to file for custody.
Then she has to pay YOU for child support.

If she really doesn't want you in the childs life, you can always offer to sign away your parental rights in exchange for ZERO child support.

After you talk to an attorney (but that is a given)

 

[Geekbabe]

I'm kind of confused? were you guys on bad terms when you left? does she think you're not coming back or feel that she;'s been abandoned and that she might as well face the inevitable now? Is it possible her parents have been telling her that you've abandoned her and that she might as well start accepting life as a single mother?