should I leave my g/f of 8 years?

[hypn0tik]

Yes, break up with her.

 

[thebigdude]

It's hard for people who don't actually know you or her to give you advice on a relationship that you are in.

On that note I always go with which way am I happier, with or without her.

 

[Amplifier]

It's time you MOOOOOOOve on.

 

[MoFoEd]

I was in a similiar situation with a girl I was with for 6 yrs. No point in staying a relationship you are surely unhappy about, it won't help either of you. I decided to leave, and it was hard for the both of us but int he long run it was good, i found someone else more compatible to me and she went on with her life and we are friends now and happy. And about marrying her any time soon, an advice I got from some one is: If you have any doubts, don't do it..

And as Garet said
You will never find the right person if you are with the wrong one...
Good advice.

You'll be OK, your 25 and young, u can find someone else.

 

[So]

Pull the ripcord before this flaming wreck hits the ocean.

 

[DAM]

From previous experience, you're here now, soon you will not be able to stand her, to be around her, to even hear her name. If that is where you want to end up, continue the path you're following, otherwise get out.

Get out as clean as possible, do not talk to her again. Refrian from any contact.


dam(Ded)

 

[moshquerade]

it's unanimous

 

[kranky]

It's nearly impossible for two people to go from age 16 to 25 and not grow apart. People change so dramatically through those years. You two have grown apart, but have not accepted it yet.

You can't stay together because you fear what she might do if you break up.
You can't stay together because you are afraid of being alone or that you might not find someone better.
You can't stay together if you are stressed whenever you are around her.
You can't stay together if, after nine years, you are still "unsure" about getting married.

Here's what you do: you accept that it will be hard, that you will have problems adjusting to not being with her, that she might take it badly. Accept that those things will happen, don't fear them. Then you break it off, and begin the next phase of your life. It will be awkward at first, but it will turn out fine. You can't stay where you are just because there will be tough times while you learn how to move on.

You are not doing either of you a favor by pretending to still be in a relationship when you clearly have already mentally "checked out". She needs the chance to move on just as you do.

The sooner the better. Six months from now, you will be so unbelievably relieved you took this step. Good luck to you.

 

[nakedfrog]

Sounds like it's time to cut your losses and split. Staying together doesn't sound like it's going to be good for either one of you. You're unhappy, so you need to find someone who can make you happy. She should have someone who enjoys being with her.
Being alone won't be so bad after the first bit, you might even start to enjoy it.

 

[altonb1]

Originally posted by: thebigdude
It's hard for people who don't actually know you or her to give you advice on a relationship that you are in.

Are you two living together or just dating? Unless I missed it, you did not specifically stae the living arrangements.

If you are living together, the "break" will be a lot more messy. If you are just dating, then begin to distance yourself from her. Don't necessarily break up with her immediately, but stop spending so much time with her. Living together, however, is going to result in utter Kaos (Get Smart FTW!) as you try to break it off unless you move IMMEDIATELY.

 

[habib89]

i was with a girl from 16 - 22, and when we broke up it was probably the best thing to ever happen to us.. at the time i wanted to be with her, but in the end, i realized it was better that we broke up.. i didn't really love her, i was just accustomed to having her around.. if you're not interested in the relationship, and if you feel obligated, then you better leave, cause that's not healthy for the relationship..

 

[Abel007]

It will be rough finding another person that knows as much about you as she does. With that being said just end it now and get on with your life man. Being alone isn't as bad as you're making it out to be. Atleast you'll be happy and won't feel guilty lusting after other women.

 

[pclstyle]

i almost cried after reading your post. that may very well be the saddest thing i've ever heard.

 

[Dirigible]

From the above posts you already know you should break up.

You are so frickin' young at 25. You've got some issues of your own to work out (afraid of not finding anyone else, etc.). You need to be on your own, grow up a bit, get some experiences. Once your confident in yourself and happy with yourself alone, that's when you can commit to someone else. You've got lots of time, and there's no time like the present to start the maturing process.

 

[Zysoclaplem]

If you are not happy, you are not happy. You are only deceiving yourself and her by staying.
Now if you think you could be happy if things changed, I would try that.
But if you are pretty much sure that it's done for you emotionally, and it's affecting you physically, perhaps it's time to just say it's not worth it anymore.
On the flip side, you are losing 8-9 years, and someone you have probably built your life around. You will find in many cases that you do not know what you have until it's gone.

 

[SirStev0]

You know what'd be great... 5 years from now...

Topic Title: 5 years ago, ATOT told me to break up my relationship...
Topic Summary: best/worst idea ever... currently considering dieing/party...

 

[zachtos]

I added more background to first post.

 

[Papagayo]

It might be easier, if you do things that will make her get sick of you.

Be lazy, be late all the time, be inconsiderate, be mean, be a looker front of her, be terrible in bed, look at porn..

Do these things and she will be distant, upset, and will start hating you, which should make it easier for break up.

If you are not happy now, you probably will never be happy with her.

Remember, Men wants they GF/Wife to be the same as they met first time. Women always wants to change you to their liking.

 

[Betawi]

Originally posted by: Rill22
I think by your description you've answered your own question.

QFT

 

[AgentEL]

I think you already know the answer.

 

[Amplifier]

Originally posted by: zachtos
:words:

you in 25 years if you don't sever now

 

[K1052]

Neither of you are happy, you have almost nothing in common, and you are sexually disinterested in her?

You are long past due to scuttle this unhealthy relationship and look for someone else (as scary as the prospect might currently seem).

 

[nakedfrog]

Originally posted by: Zysoclaplem
If you are not happy, you are not happy. You are only deceiving yourself and her by staying.
Now if you think you could be happy if things changed, I would try that.
But if you are pretty much sure that it's done for you emotionally, and it's affecting you physically, perhaps it's time to just say it's not worth it anymore.
On the flip side, you are losing 8-9 years, and someone you have probably built your life around. You will find in many cases that you do not know what you have until it's gone.

See: Fleetwood Mac - Landslide (or one of the many covers)

 

[ultimatebob]

Originally posted by: Astaroth33
I was once in a 7 year relationship that was 4 years too long. There is no reason why you should ever be obligated to stay in a relationship when you are not happy.

This 8 year relationship sounds like it was AT LEAST 4 years overdue to end.

Of course, we don't know the whole story... My hunch is that it all started going downhill once she started letting herself go and putting on weight, right?

 

[zachtos]

Originally posted by: Papagayo
Be lazy, be late all the time, be inconsiderate, be mean, be a looker front of her, be terrible in bed, look at porn..

Do these things and she will be distant, upset, and will start hating you, which should make it easier for break up.

I think alot of problems started happening after I got out of college... i thought I would be less stressed out. But then I started getting pressure to get a job so we could live together. She bought her own engagement ring and forced me to proposed.

wow, I already have been doing that stuff for a long time now... maybe because I'm unhappy? (but the terrible in bed thing I'm hoping has been mental?)