should I leave my g/f of 8 years?

[The Batt?sai]

Originally posted by: buck
She has lied alot and shes fat? GTFO!

:Q

 

[morkus64]

Originally posted by: AbAbber2k
"I feel obligated to stay..."

When "obligation" is your first reason to stay with her, then the choice should be clear.

I concur.

 

[cHeeZeFacTory]

i was in a similar situation a little over a year ago. Was w/ her for 6+ years. It was a hard break up. 3 months of on/off. In the end family, friends all got involved. Then one day I just called and basically said 'it's over'. blocked phone #'s, aim, email, etc. Haven't seen or talked to her since. I've heard little things about her from family & mutual friends, but I just act disinterested. Ofcourse there are times when I reminisce through the good times we had together. However, most of the time, i know i made right and best decision because the relationship was just regressing.

 

[DaWhim]

pic?

 

[Cooler]

Get out now before she get a baseball bat like my ex did.

 

[Ranger X]

zachtos,

I think you know what to do. Marrying her would be your biggest mistake you've ever made in your life. She's not the girl for you. No one should be "obligated" to stay with anyone. It's about your happiness, not her's. If she threatens to kill herself, that's her problem, not yours. After I read that you two were dating since 16 years of age, I knew from the start that this relationship was headed straight for the wall. I honestly believe that people should experience other people (i.e. date around) until they know exactly what type of person they want. At 16, you will never know what type of person you'll want because the vast majority of the 16 year olds are clueless and haven't seriously thought about life after marriage. Leaving now will be much easier than leaving after marriage. Imagine if you have marriage, kids, and joint properties in the equation. You'll lose the kids, you'll end up paying child support, alimony, and you'll most likely forfeit half of your assets to her unless you got her to sign a pre-nup.

By the way, there is NOTHING wrong with being single. I don't get why people are "afraid" to be alone. Don't be in a relationship for the sake of being in a relationship because it's not healthy. Once you break up, you'll feel sad but it doesn't take long to get used to the bachelor life. Do you know how men get over past relationships? They go out, party, and nail any girl who'll say "Yes".

 

[Sing4theKing]

You know, even if you do break up and realize that you love her, you can always get back together. If you stay with her feeling the way you do, you'll never be happy and you'll never know what it's like to be in love. A relationship based on guilt and fear is not a healthy relationship. You're still young, and there are plenty of nice girls out there who are looking for men.

It's your choice, but from reading your post, it seems like you've made your decision.

Good luck

btw, the fact that it effects you that she gained weight shows that there is little to no love there.

 

[MrColin]

Im 35 w ltr experience and my advice is to look inward and ask yourself. It sounds like you will say dump her IMHO.

EDIT: I just noticed the part about the suicide threats and the erctile problems and the 50 lbs, Definitely dump her and get a restraining order right away.

 

[LanceM]

Tell her family that you're going to break up with her, and don't forget her "suicide" comment. Tell them this is the reason you've been afraid to leave all this time. Then break up with the fatty. Be sure to tell her she's fat.

The erectile disfunction will cease. It happens. It's mental. Most guys I know around 23-26 have gone through something similar. It'll be fine.

 

[zachtos]

thanks for your support. I am looking for someone on the side and plan on having more talks with her soon. Not quite ready to break it off yet.

 

[IMaN00BieGF]

Originally posted by: LanceM
Tell her family that you're going to break up with her, and don't forget her "suicide" comment. Tell them this is the reason you've been afraid to leave all this time. Then break up with the fatty. Be sure to tell her she's fat.
The erectile disfunction will cease. It happens. It's mental. Most guys I know around 23-26 have gone through something similar. It'll be fine.

You insensitive jerk :|

 

[imported_Pablo]

Stop the relationship. Don't even consider getting back together until you are 75% over her or so. I dated a girl for 5 years (from 18 to 23) and it was similar to your situation, only she didn't gain the weight. I thought it would be so tough to separate, and I was considering getting married even though I wasn't 100% happy. Things are better now. Even though I respect my ex a LOT, I've started dating girls that I'm much more physically attracted to and who I feel I can develop the same closeness with over time.

When you break up, start working out, getting confident, and don't go looking for anybody immediately. They'll come. You're still young. Plenty of good girls out there. I just think that a little bit of space will help you see things more clearly.

 

[Bumrush99]

Part of the problem you are having involves your OWN insecurity, as evident by the sexual "problems" you are having with her.. This obviously has opened up a sore spot in your life and it is difficult to move on from here because at least you feel comfortable with her. After 9 years having those problems is not as disastrous as meeting a beautiful woman and going limp when it is time to make a final move. So in your case it is best that you leave her, give yourself some time to heal from the damage this relationship has done on your psyche and when your ready, start dating. It could take one month, it could take six or even a year, but be patient.

I was in a similar situation a few years ago with a brutally possessive and annoying b*tch, trust me after a while the last thing your penis wants to do is to hit it. Nothing out of the ordinary, contrary to popular opinion the penis is connected to the brain, and if the brain says no....

 

[CalvinHobbs]

the answer is obvious, end everything, go tell her how you feel about things and then just get the hell out of the place without looking back

 

[ch33zw1z]

get out while you still can.

 

[Chunkee]

grow up

 

[SZLiao214]

Originally posted by: Amplifier

Originally posted by: zachtos
:words:

you in 25 years if you don't sever now

I got a better one. (Short commercial from video site)

 

[TanisHalfElven]

Originally posted by: pclstyle
i almost cried after reading your post. that may very well be the saddest thing i've ever heard.

DEAR GOD.
what kind of happyland have you been living in ?
the OPs problem is he's an idiot.
he said it himself the grass is greener on the other side. dude no relationshipo lasts that long without something to hold it. for married couples its obligation and kids. thats the glue. also you have to learn to accept her faults just a she accepts yours (whining bieng the major one here as far as i can see)

the only reason you wanna break up is cuz you KNOW you can. you think of nailing a younger girl and that entices you. its like getting a new video card. you don't get it cuz your current one is getting slower. you get it cuz there's a newer one that faster.