Firstly, I'm a thrifty person but not cheap - by that I mean that I'm a big slick dealer, but never restrict myself or my family of anything. I spend money freely, but would like to spend as little as possible on whatever I buy, and research to make sure the product fits our needs. In other words, if my wife wants a handbag or a new pair of shoes, my only hesitation would be "make sure you check 6pm.com first!" not "you don't need another handbag!" In fact, my own side of the family knows me as generous to a fault, and my mom constantly tells me to be more conscious of money, though I feel that I am.
For example - Christmas gifts I gave:
My parents - Media center PC with blu ray player
my wife - $400 bag, zune hd
In just the past two weeks I've spent disproportionately more on other people, and always do. My wife dropped her laptop and I bought her a better one than the one she broke.. Got her a nook because she reads quite a bit, and even opted for the more expensive 3g version for her convenience.. Noticed my dad's sandals were a getting worn the last time I visited so I ordered him a new pair of birkinstocks, without him mentioning anything. Heck, bought my wife's cousin a new iron after she complained that her iron's auto shut off stopped working and that she almost burned down her house. No one asks, I just buy things for people if I can afford to.
I also own a car (yes, a small thrifty car since gas mileage was very important to me [not impressing anyone], but no one in NYC has a car) and a two family house, things that I feel are major accomplishments for 28 year olds in NYC where everyone rents or even lives with roommates.
Anyways, this thread isn't meant to brag but I keep very quiet about my thriftiness. My wife, on the other hand, brags a bit but because she's proud - for example, our 50" plasma TV's msrp was $1,200 but I got a great deal on a refurb that works perfectly for $400. She gets a kick out of mentioning my deal getting abilities and tells her parents all the time ("guess how much we paid for this?), but I think it's sending the wrong message.
I visited my f-i-l for Father's Day and he took us all out to lunch. After lunch we all went to a movie and I offered to pay. My f-i-l quipped "got a coupon for that?" And I didn't quite lknow what to say.. I'm still upset by that - am I over reacting? I've never been cheap to him or his daughter, and actually spoil her quite a bit.