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Should I be annoyed by father in law's comment?

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JEDIYoda

Lifer
Jul 13, 2005
33,162
2,934
126
That was a hell of a lot of context for what could have been said in three lines of text.
no it was a hell of a lot of context for somebody who says they do not brag......

On a side note -- my wife`s 2010 Mercedes 350 sedan was keyed at the shopping center the other day....
So I traded it in for a 2010 Mercedes CL 550 coupe!!
 
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shortylickens

No Lifer
Jul 15, 2003
76,577
9,684
126
I dont think he was trying to be hostile with his remark. Overall I believe you should try to get along with your father in law.

HAVING SAID THAT: He will respect you more if you stand up for yourself once in a while. The job of the father in law is to make sure his little girl didnt marry a fuckstick, and he will often test your manhood.

Do not fail the test.
 

jme5343

Platinum Member
Nov 21, 2003
2,333
0
71
I paid almost $60 to take my family to Toy Story 3 (I realize that's cheap in some places), but I dang sure wish I had a coupon.
 

olds

Elite Member
Mar 3, 2000
49,565
398
126
meh. When you get pissed at your FIL, just take it out on his daughters poonanny.
 
Mar 11, 2004
20,308
2,455
126
OP, you sound like someone that seemingly makes it a point to say how much you spent on everything, usually bragging that you didn't pay MSRP. Maybe its your wife. Either way, those people are annoying to most people. Not only that, of the ones I've encountered, half the stuff they brag about are shit a lot of people wouldn't buy in the first place so no one really gives a shit. That or its brands that I'd laugh that they actually bought it even with say a 50% discount (such as Bose or Monster).

Your post gives me the impression that you do it without noticing (as you did here, we didn't need to know 90% of that shit).

I wouldn't feel bad about it, but I'd recommend toning it down. Almost everyone does stuff like that, some just do it a lot more than others, and a lot of people see it as you rubbing it in their faces that you have money or whatever.
 
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Jul 10, 2007
12,060
3
0
i would've drop kicked him on the spot and that shat on him while he was on the ground dazed.
but that's just me.
 
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Sluggo

Lifer
Jun 12, 2000
15,490
5
81
Your father is ripping off William Loundes,
The line is "Mind the pennies, and the Pounds take care of themselves."

Actually an Old English proverb.
He knows he is ripping off the dude's line, and I'm pretty sure its with malicious intent since he never gives the guy credit. :rolleyes:
 

lxskllr

No Lifer
Nov 30, 2004
53,954
4,031
126
Although it is a good idea to buy cheap, the way you wrote the OP and the comment from the FIL suggest that it has become too important in your life.

If every buying decision becomes a chore to ensure you are getting the "best deal" it can take the fun out of spontaneous purchases, and definitely will give the impression to those around you that you are cheap.
I'm the same way as the OP. I look for deals on everything, and approach it as sport. It's fun getting getting stuff cheaper than the average shopper, and it's like getting one over on "the man" when you score a good deal. The big thrills in life don't come around too often, so you gotta take pleasure in the little things :^)
 

flexy

Diamond Member
Sep 28, 2001
8,464
154
106
i think it's cool.

You are not CHEAP, rather smart. You know how and where to save money. Nothing wrong with it, its actually a good thing. You should've actually laughed at your FIL comment - respective they should be proud to have you :)
 

Zargon

Lifer
Nov 3, 2009
12,245
2
76
"Nobody can make you feel inferior without your consent. ~Eleanor Roosevelt"

There is something called cognitive behavior therapy that should be taught in school as early as possible. It really could change the world. Basically it relies on the idea that nobody can make you feel anything, it is what we tell ourselves about what occurs that causes the emotion. So if you follow the steps you can stop getting annoyed, angry, sad about what people do.

It breaks up into :
Activating Event - Person tells you 'got a coupon for that?'
Irrational Belief - I'm doing something nice for him and he must appreciate it
Emotional Consequences - anger , annoyance
Disputing - Does him not appreciating what I did mean I didn't do something nice?
Effective new thinking - I did something good for him and regardless of what he thinks it was still a good thing to do, I may want to have been appreciated for what I did, but there is no law that people have to thank me for doing something nice , that is a condition I placed on myself.
New Feeling - disappointed in him, but not triggering emotions of anger or annoyance in myself.




I didn't learn about it till late in life but once I did and started learning how to do it nothing and I mean nothing upsets me anymore. My family says its like I'm on a constant IV drip of Valium or as if I joined some sort of monastery and learned inner peace.
this.

I learned it in college.

my wife is just like OP. EVERYTHING has some deeper insulting meaning, and I don't care about it all enough.

in reality, none of it matters. her parents could call me a worthless piece of shit, and all that change for me, is one less place I have to visit on the holidays.

OP is overreacting.

beyond that, if you are putting food on the table, and paying the bills, and they arent, then seriously, why would you care.
 

Numenorean

Diamond Member
Oct 26, 2008
4,442
1
0
Firstly, I'm a thrifty person but not cheap - by that I mean that I'm a big slick dealer, but never restrict myself or my family of anything. I spend money freely, but would like to spend as little as possible on whatever I buy, and research to make sure the product fits our needs. In other words, if my wife wants a handbag or a new pair of shoes, my only hesitation would be "make sure you check 6pm.com first!" not "you don't need another handbag!" In fact, my own side of the family knows me as generous to a fault, and my mom constantly tells me to be more conscious of money, though I feel that I am.

For example - Christmas gifts I gave:
My parents - Media center PC with blu ray player
my wife - $400 bag, zune hd

In just the past two weeks I've spent disproportionately more on other people, and always do. My wife dropped her laptop and I bought her a better one than the one she broke.. Got her a nook because she reads quite a bit, and even opted for the more expensive 3g version for her convenience.. Noticed my dad's sandals were a getting worn the last time I visited so I ordered him a new pair of birkinstocks, without him mentioning anything. Heck, bought my wife's cousin a new iron after she complained that her iron's auto shut off stopped working and that she almost burned down her house. No one asks, I just buy things for people if I can afford to.

I also own a car (yes, a small thrifty car since gas mileage was very important to me [not impressing anyone], but no one in NYC has a car) and a two family house, things that I feel are major accomplishments for 28 year olds in NYC where everyone rents or even lives with roommates.

Anyways, this thread isn't meant to brag but I keep very quiet about my thriftiness. My wife, on the other hand, brags a bit but because she's proud - for example, our 50" plasma TV's msrp was $1,200 but I got a great deal on a refurb that works perfectly for $400. She gets a kick out of mentioning my deal getting abilities and tells her parents all the time ("guess how much we paid for this?), but I think it's sending the wrong message.

I visited my f-i-l for Father's Day and he took us all out to lunch. After lunch we all went to a movie and I offered to pay. My f-i-l quipped "got a coupon for that?" And I didn't quite lknow what to say.. I'm still upset by that - am I over reacting? I've never been cheap to him or his daughter, and actually spoil her quite a bit.
You just keep telling yourself that.
 

Squisher

Lifer
Aug 17, 2000
21,207
65
91
As long as your ass doesn't squeak when you walk you're OK.

My people are notoriously cheap, we would likely name a holiday after you. Right now I'm trying to suppress an urge to offer to bear your children.
 

moshquerade

No Lifer
Nov 1, 2001
61,716
10
56
Firstly, I'm a thrifty person but not cheap - by that I mean that I'm a big slick dealer, but never restrict myself or my family of anything. I spend money freely, but would like to spend as little as possible on whatever I buy, and research to make sure the product fits our needs. In other words, if my wife wants a handbag or a new pair of shoes, my only hesitation would be "make sure you check 6pm.com first!" not "you don't need another handbag!" In fact, my own side of the family knows me as generous to a fault, and my mom constantly tells me to be more conscious of money, though I feel that I am.

For example - Christmas gifts I gave:
My parents - Media center PC with blu ray player
my wife - $400 bag, zune hd

In just the past two weeks I've spent disproportionately more on other people, and always do. My wife dropped her laptop and I bought her a better one than the one she broke.. Got her a nook because she reads quite a bit, and even opted for the more expensive 3g version for her convenience.. Noticed my dad's sandals were a getting worn the last time I visited so I ordered him a new pair of birkinstocks, without him mentioning anything. Heck, bought my wife's cousin a new iron after she complained that her iron's auto shut off stopped working and that she almost burned down her house. No one asks, I just buy things for people if I can afford to.

I also own a car (yes, a small thrifty car since gas mileage was very important to me [not impressing anyone], but no one in NYC has a car) and a two family house, things that I feel are major accomplishments for 28 year olds in NYC where everyone rents or even lives with roommates.

Anyways, this thread isn't meant to brag but I keep very quiet about my thriftiness. My wife, on the other hand, brags a bit but because she's proud - for example, our 50" plasma TV's msrp was $1,200 but I got a great deal on a refurb that works perfectly for $400. She gets a kick out of mentioning my deal getting abilities and tells her parents all the time ("guess how much we paid for this?), but I think it's sending the wrong message.

I visited my f-i-l for Father's Day and he took us all out to lunch. After lunch we all went to a movie and I offered to pay. My f-i-l quipped "got a coupon for that?" And I didn't quite lknow what to say.. I'm still upset by that - am I over reacting? I've never been cheap to him or his daughter, and actually spoil her quite a bit.
whoop de friggin doo.

stop being so sensitive. :rolleyes:
 

pakotlar

Senior member
Aug 22, 2003
454
1
81
I visited my f-i-l for Father's Day and he took us all out to lunch. After lunch we all went to a movie and I offered to pay. My f-i-l quipped "got a coupon for that?" And I didn't quite lknow what to say.. I'm still upset by that - am I over reacting? I've never been cheap to him or his daughter, and actually spoil her quite a bit.
Yeah you should be. What a fucking dick. It sounds like has some inverse elektra complex for his little girl. You sound like a great husband man.
 

huberm

Golden Member
Dec 17, 2004
1,105
1
0
i would take it as a compliment....a coupon doesnt mean you're cheap, it means you're thrifty, like you were saying....
 

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