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Sexless marriages

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Originally posted by: Astaroth33
Originally posted by: Geekbabe
Originally posted by: rickn
just buy a real doll
Click to expand...

okay.. on a related note, what effect, if any do you all believe that the ever increasing use of sex to sell products in movies, on tv, in magazines has on the average couple's sexual expectations ? Do you believe that the easily availabilty of a variety of sexual imagery from the media as well as on the web makes regular sex with a spouse seem dull and not worth pursuing and if problems arise, make it easier to throw in the towel ?
Click to expand...

And what of the myth of "The One" that is perpetuated by Hollywood (movies like "Bed of Roses" and any romantic comedy), 1-800-FLOWERS, DeBeers, et all? And what of the promotions of abstinence and virginity? Wouldn't all that have some affect on people's ideas regarding how sex is "supposed" to be?

To look at your question differently, take a look at Islamic culture, where sexual imagery is not readily available. Look at how sexuality is treated there...
Click to expand...

I guess what I'm wondering is how does any long term relationship survive under a constant flow of influnences who's stated purpose is to sell products but that often just succeed in causing dissatisfaction with what one has ? Be it Debeer's ads or girls gone wild, how does one over time not look at their spouse and say "yuck, there's a million hotties out there and I'm stuck for life having sex with you, I gotta be crazy"

The media gives the impression that everybody's out there eating steak while you're stuck at home dining on hamburger helper, how can any relationship survive that over time and what part does all this have do you think in the sexual problems seen in divorcing couples?
 
Originally posted by: Geekbabe
Originally posted by: Astaroth33
Originally posted by: Geekbabe
Originally posted by: rickn
just buy a real doll
Click to expand...

okay.. on a related note, what effect, if any do you all believe that the ever increasing use of sex to sell products in movies, on tv, in magazines has on the average couple's sexual expectations ? Do you believe that the easily availability of a variety of sexual imagery from the media as well as on the web makes regular sex with a spouse seem dull and not worth pursuing and if problems arise, make it easier to throw in the towel ?
Click to expand...

And what of the myth of "The One" that is perpetuated by Hollywood (movies like "Bed of Roses" and any romantic comedy), 1-800-FLOWERS, DeBeers, et all? And what of the promotions of abstinence and virginity? Wouldn't all that have some affect on people's ideas regarding how sex is "supposed" to be?

To look at your question differently, take a look at Islamic culture, where sexual imagery is not readily available. Look at how sexuality is treated there...
Click to expand...

I guess what I'm wondering is how does any long term relationship survive under a constant flow of influences who's stated purpose is to sell products but that often just succeed in causing dissatisfaction with what one has ? Be it Debeer's ads or girls gone wild, how does one over time not look at their spouse and say "yuck, there's a million hotties out there and I'm stuck for life having sex with you, I gotta be crazy"

The media gives the impression that everybody's out there eating steak while you're stuck at home dining on hamburger helper, how can any relationship survive that over time?
Click to expand...
Because most people, in spite of what groupthink may say, know that they aren't going to be one of the people that's going to be eating steak every night. And don't get me wrong, it's not as if men grudgingly accept reality as if they have no other choice, (and on the assumption they're already married) rather they take a look around, realize they have a good spouse that satisfies not only their sexual needs but their emotional needs too(i.e. they make them "whole"), and realize that the hottie on TV may very well be a hottie, but that doesn't mean that said hottie will make them whole like their current spouse does. Men are sexual beings no doubt, but that doesn't mean that they don't have other wants and needs, something an empty hottie can't provide.
 
Originally posted by: Geekbabe
How long would you stay married but faithful to someone who had no interest in sleeping with you ?

would you stay and remain faithful ?

would you cheat ?

would the duration of the marriage have any bearing on your choice? would the risk of losing assets in a divorce case have any influence on your choice ?


what would you do ? discuss !
Click to expand...

i don't plan on getting married, so it's all a mooooo point
 
Originally posted by: ViRGE
Originally posted by: Geekbabe
Originally posted by: Astaroth33
Originally posted by: Geekbabe
Originally posted by: rickn
just buy a real doll
Click to expand...

okay.. on a related note, what effect, if any do you all believe that the ever increasing use of sex to sell products in movies, on tv, in magazines has on the average couple's sexual expectations ? Do you believe that the easily availability of a variety of sexual imagery from the media as well as on the web makes regular sex with a spouse seem dull and not worth pursuing and if problems arise, make it easier to throw in the towel ?
Click to expand...

And what of the myth of "The One" that is perpetuated by Hollywood (movies like "Bed of Roses" and any romantic comedy), 1-800-FLOWERS, DeBeers, et all? And what of the promotions of abstinence and virginity? Wouldn't all that have some affect on people's ideas regarding how sex is "supposed" to be?

To look at your question differently, take a look at Islamic culture, where sexual imagery is not readily available. Look at how sexuality is treated there...
Click to expand...

I guess what I'm wondering is how does any long term relationship survive under a constant flow of influences who's stated purpose is to sell products but that often just succeed in causing dissatisfaction with what one has ? Be it Debeer's ads or girls gone wild, how does one over time not look at their spouse and say "yuck, there's a million hotties out there and I'm stuck for life having sex with you, I gotta be crazy"

The media gives the impression that everybody's out there eating steak while you're stuck at home dining on hamburger helper, how can any relationship survive that over time?
Click to expand...
Because most people, in spite of what groupthink may say, know that they aren't going to be one of the people that's going to be eating steak every night. And don't get me wrong, it's not as if men grudgingly accept reality as if they have no other choice, (and on the assumption they're already married) rather they take a look around, realize they have a good spouse that satisfies not only their sexual needs but their emotional needs too(i.e. they make them "whole"), and realize that the hottie on TV may very well be a hottie, but that doesn't mean that said hottie will make them whole like their current spouse does. Men are sexual beings no doubt, but that doesn't mean that they don't have other wants and needs, something an empty hottie can't provide.
Click to expand...


if that is the case why so many sexless marriages ? why so many divorces ?
 
Finance and the threat of half + lifetime alimony would keep me around.

NSA Craigslist sex and Escort services would have my Gold AMEX number!







 
I'd stay in the marriage for fear of the divorce. We would both diddle others. We'd say we were staying together for the children, but the children would be warped by our fvcked up marriage.
 
After almost 10 years (May 6th will be 10) of marriage my wife and I have as much, or more sex than when we first got married. I still find her very hot, and we have two kids, 1 and 6. We try to almost every chance we get. In fact today she was getting dressed.. and showed me her new panties when changing. Both kids were already ready, watching a movie, and we had to have a quicky in the bathroom...

Its sad to see most marriages are not like this, and most people generally have a bad feeling about marriage all together.

I dont know what I would do if she didnt want to have sex. Id like to say I would be faithful, as I have been for 10 years, not so much as even kissing another woman, despite chances. I would have a hard time staying married to someone like that, I would take is as they dont love me, dont like to be around me, and it would just make me feel worthless. I hope thats not the case with the poster. 🙁
 
Originally posted by: Ulfwald
I am a good dog, but you have to pet me sometimes to keep me under the porch.
Click to expand...

When did your wife allow you to build a porch ? 😀
 
i have no business responding, since i've never gotten anything (and by anything i mean ANYTHING), but that considered i think i could do it if it liked her enough and depending on the reason for no sex. If it was simply physical rejection (which lucky i shouldn't have to deal with 😉) i wouldn't be too happy, by if it was a mechanical/health reason i could deal with it. Having kids would probably make a difference too. Of course i would question were the kids came from if i wasn't in on the process...
 
Originally posted by: miketheidiot
i have no business responding, since i've never gotten anything (and by anything i mean ANYTHING), but that considered i think i could do it if it liked her enough and depending on the reason for no sex. If it was simply physical rejection (which lucky i shouldn't have to deal with 😉) i wouldn't be too happy, by if it was a mechanical/health reason i could deal with it. Having kids would probably make a difference too. Of course i would question were the kids came from if i wasn't in on the process...
Click to expand...

very thoughtful answer, I don't think you're an idiot at all 😉
 
I would wait untill you are ready greekbabe.After seeing your pretty looking face,just being with you would satisfy me 😀 (im really serious here!!! )
 
Originally posted by: Geekbabe
How long would you stay married but faithful to someone who had no interest in sleeping with you ?

would you stay and remain faithful ?

would you cheat ?

would the duration of the marriage have any bearing on your choice? would the risk of losing assets in a divorce case have any influence on your choice ?


what would you do ? discuss !
Click to expand...

I thought you were too good to post threads like this?
 
Well, without being a complete asshole, I'll answer the question. If I want sex, I'll go get it. You don't marry someone for sex. Not having sex wouldn't end a marriage for me, no. To me, someone who ends a marriage because they're not getting laid shouldn't have gotten married to begin with.
 
Originally posted by: Geekbabe
How long would you stay married but faithful to someone who had no interest in sleeping with you ?

would you stay and remain faithful ?

would you cheat ?

would the duration of the marriage have any bearing on your choice? would the risk of losing assets in a divorce case have any influence on your choice ?


what would you do ? discuss !
Click to expand...

The key for me is 'had no interest'. Let's say my husband lost his penis in a freak accident, and sex as we knew it was no more. That would be OK as long as I knew he still wanted to be with me--- cuddling, petting, hugging, squeezing, it's all good.

Let's say my husband was on medication that totally took his drive away... that would be OK too, if he wanted to still hold my hand on walks, cuddle with me while watching Kill Bill, that kind of thing. Affection counts for a lot.

In those cases, I'd just make sure I had plenty of batteries on hand for 'stress relief'.

But if my husband wasn't interested in me as a person and wasn't affectionate, I'd need to talk about moving on with our lives. I wouldn't be too worried about losing assets... at that point, I'd be worried about my husband (because clearly he would be suffering from some kind of mental illness!) and focused on either getting professional help (if he was willing) or going our separate ways.



 
Why is sex such a defining portion of marriage for so many people? Why do so many people seemingly act so selfish in relationships? Like if sex isn't something that interests their partner, that their partner is suddenly not worth fighting for. If sex is all that people care about, why get married to begin with?
 
[/quote]

And what of the myth of "The One" that is perpetuated by Hollywood (movies like "Bed of Roses" and any romantic comedy), 1-800-FLOWERS, DeBeers, et all? And what of the promotions of abstinence and virginity? Wouldn't all that have some affect on people's ideas regarding how sex is "supposed" to be?

To look at your question differently, take a look at Islamic culture, where sexual imagery is not readily available. Look at how sexuality is treated there...[/quote]

I guess what I'm wondering is how does any long term relationship survive under a constant flow of influnences who's stated purpose is to sell products but that often just succeed in causing dissatisfaction with what one has ? Be it Debeer's ads or girls gone wild, how does one over time not look at their spouse and say "yuck, there's a million hotties out there and I'm stuck for life having sex with you, I gotta be crazy"

The media gives the impression that everybody's out there eating steak while you're stuck at home dining on hamburger helper, how can any relationship survive that over time and what part does all this have do you think in the sexual problems seen in divorcing couples?[/quote]


I think RESPECT plays a huge role in maintaining a feeling of satisfaction with one's partner. First, you must have respect for yourself (that was actually the hard part for me) so that your partner will also respect you. Then, your partner needs to have respect for him or her self... so you can in turn respect him or her.

If Moonbeam were here, he would say something about original wounds and loving yourself. 🙂
 
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