Sexless marriages

[sxr7171]

Originally posted by: Grunt03
How long would you stay married but faithful to someone who had no interest in sleeping with you ?
About two minutes

would you stay and remain faithful ?
Hell No

would you cheat ?
like a big dog

what would you do ? discuss !
I would give her about five minutes to get her s@it and to get out, any children in the marrage would be staying with me and I have my lawyer persue her for the child support and for emotional abandonment.

The sad thing is that the law fvcks us up in such a situation. Did you see the thread where the woman got a $40 million divorce settlement even though she cheated on the guy? As a guy you have your money on the line and the woman can still refuse sex (even worse sue you for marital rape). At the rate things are going no guy will ever want to get married and women will be wondering even more why guys are so commitment-phobic.

 

[DeMeo]

Originally posted by: rickn
I'd get her when she was asleep

So, you assume it's always the woman...

 

[Scarpozzi]

I've never met a straight female that didn't want to sleep with me, so I can't honestly answer this question.

 

[Hammer]

Originally posted by: Geekbabe

Originally posted by: Evadman
Is Red Dawn in trouble?

you could only dream of such "trouble" happening to you

LOL. don't drop the soap Evadman! :laugh:

 

[Red Dawn]

Originally posted by: Scarpozzi
I've never met a Sodomite that didn't want to inspect my colon, so I can't honestly answer this question.

:shocked:

 

[StageLeft]

Originally posted by: Rudee
A wife of a good buddy of mine put on 60'lbs within a year and a half after giving birth to their son. She use to be a very attractive girl.. slim.. 5'6" roughly 125lbs. Now, he is so turned off by her weight gain, and even more turned off that she is not motivated to do anything about it. He's mentioned the "d word" to me a few times, and I know he's serious. He is no longer sexually attracted to his new wife, and that is very sad. He tells me he stays up late at night and doesn't go to be until he knows she's asleep, that way he won't feel pressure to have sex with her. Sad..

Man, I can't blame him. A lot of people get fat and pathetic after a kid or two. Generally it's both people, so this way nobody can fling blame at the other, but if just one does it it's got to be bad. Divorce over that alone is a stretch, I think, but it says something about her desire to look attractive for him, and how she sees things now.

 

[Nebor]

Originally posted by: Scarpozzi
I've never met a straight female that didn't want to sleep with me, so I can't honestly answer this question.

Wow you're a pimp! What's your secret? Can I make 3 easy payments for your secret?

 

[pclstyle]

Originally posted by: rickn

Originally posted by: Geekbabe

Originally posted by: rickn

Originally posted by: djheater

Originally posted by: rickn
I'd get her when she was asleep

The board has already determined that's rape.

:thumbsdown:

Having sex with your wife is rape? If she says "I don't want have sex right now" that is not the same thing as NO

yeah it is

Oh, then i'd just sleep around, and give her all sorts of diseases

yeah that'd show her huh

...

 

[Ilmater]

Originally posted by: her209

How long would you stay married but faithful to someone who had no interest in sleeping with you ?

I wouldn't.

 

[maziwanka]

Originally posted by: her209

How long would you stay married but faithful to someone who had no interest in sleeping with you ?

I wouldn't.

its a huge part of the relationship.

 

[AdamSnow]

I would not cheat, or anything like that...

Try to work it out... if cant, move on... Not that it's "THAT" important, but there has to be physical attraction to have a relationship...

 

[Aquila76]

Originally posted by: Geekbabe
How long would you stay married but faithful to someone who had no interest in sleeping with you ?

would you stay and remain faithful ?

would you cheat ?

would the duration of the marriage have any bearing on your choice? would the risk of losing assets in a divorce case have any influence on your choice ?


what would you do ? discuss !

Have you seen 'The Mirror Has Two Faces' ? I imagine that is what would happen. One would eventually cave if it meant losing the other. Sex is a lot more powerful in a relationship than most let on.

 

[Mo0o]

What kind of marriage is that... i wouldn't get married to someone who wasn't attracted to me in the first place

 

[PingSpike]

Originally posted by: Nik
Why is sex such a defining portion of marriage for so many people? Why do so many people seemingly act so selfish in relationships? Like if sex isn't something that interests their partner, that their partner is suddenly not worth fighting for. If sex is all that people care about, why get married to begin with?

Relationships are inherently selfish. Lets not be naive here. Dating, relationships, etc is all a huge pain in the ass, no one puts up with any of the sh|t involved because they felt like it. They do it because they get a good deal out of it.

 

[RagingBITCH]

Depends on how long you've been married, kids, etc.

 

[PingSpike]

Originally posted by: Geekbabe

Originally posted by: ViRGE

Originally posted by: Geekbabe

Originally posted by: Astaroth33

Originally posted by: Geekbabe

Originally posted by: rickn
just buy a real doll

okay.. on a related note, what effect, if any do you all believe that the ever increasing use of sex to sell products in movies, on tv, in magazines has on the average couple's sexual expectations ? Do you believe that the easily availability of a variety of sexual imagery from the media as well as on the web makes regular sex with a spouse seem dull and not worth pursuing and if problems arise, make it easier to throw in the towel ?

And what of the myth of "The One" that is perpetuated by Hollywood (movies like "Bed of Roses" and any romantic comedy), 1-800-FLOWERS, DeBeers, et all? And what of the promotions of abstinence and virginity? Wouldn't all that have some affect on people's ideas regarding how sex is "supposed" to be?

To look at your question differently, take a look at Islamic culture, where sexual imagery is not readily available. Look at how sexuality is treated there...

I guess what I'm wondering is how does any long term relationship survive under a constant flow of influences who's stated purpose is to sell products but that often just succeed in causing dissatisfaction with what one has ? Be it Debeer's ads or girls gone wild, how does one over time not look at their spouse and say "yuck, there's a million hotties out there and I'm stuck for life having sex with you, I gotta be crazy"

The media gives the impression that everybody's out there eating steak while you're stuck at home dining on hamburger helper, how can any relationship survive that over time?

Because most people, in spite of what groupthink may say, know that they aren't going to be one of the people that's going to be eating steak every night. And don't get me wrong, it's not as if men grudgingly accept reality as if they have no other choice, (and on the assumption they're already married) rather they take a look around, realize they have a good spouse that satisfies not only their sexual needs but their emotional needs too(i.e. they make them "whole"), and realize that the hottie on TV may very well be a hottie, but that doesn't mean that said hottie will make them whole like their current spouse does. Men are sexual beings no doubt, but that doesn't mean that they don't have other wants and needs, something an empty hottie can't provide.

if that is the case why so many sexless marriages ? why so many divorces ?

There's lots of factors. Changing social norms, namely the fact that divorce is an acceptable practice now...women in unhappy marriages just dealt with it as recently as the 50s and 60s. Now, they say they're unhappy and get out. Roles are different. More stress, dual incomes...of course these things are all going to cause a fallout. And I think there's way more people that don't get along with eachother and can't handle money together that fail at their marriage then sexless ones. And we're fed a bullsh|t fairytale that "love will make it work" you've just got to love them enough and all your fundamental differences will work out. I don't even think the media can be shafted with a signifigant portion of the blame, or at the very least...its attacked from both sides. Both men and women have sex symbols thrown in their face all day.

Like the above guy said though, give some of us some credit. Wow, some random brushed up girl on TV has an amazing rack. So what? Women are more then a set of tits or even a great ass when you're in a relationship with them. That woman on TV may look nice...but will she even go out with me in the first place? Will she rub my shoulders and get me a beer when I've had a particularly sh|t day? Will she talk with me about stupid scifi movies? Help me on the finances? Put up with my sh|t?

Those who don't think of those things were already doomed to begin with.

 

[fidolahoya]

divorce is an option while in the mean time, I will try my best to raise my wife's horniness.. is it hard to make someone feel horny?

i believe sex is one of the most important aspect of marriage.. if not, u would just have sex with anyone around u..

if she really has no interest at all to sleep with me, then divorce is the best way to solve it..

 

[goibhniu]

It really depends on the situation. I'm getting married in a couple of months, but there was a stretch of several months recently where my fiancee wouldn't have sex with me. She used to be a bit of a nympho, but after she started taking this birth control shot her sex drive pretty much shut down. I guess you could say that the shot worked a little too well. But we knew this was a possible side effect of the shot, she stopped getting it, and then it took a couple months for the effects to wear off. Now her sex drive is back and everything is great. So if it's chemical it can certainly be addressed, all it took is a little patience. OK, a lot of patience.

I also knew a woman once whose husband decided that he was gay. They said they still loved each other, but because of his sexual preference he would never have sex with her. Because they still loved each other they wouldn't get divorced either. So he basically told her that she needed to find another outlet for her sexual needs, and she found a guy to have no-strings-attached sex with regularly. They still had each other, she still got what she needed, and everything seemed to work OK for them (the last that I heard, anyways). By any normal standard that would be waaaaaay messed up, but it worked for them.

Honestly though, if I was told that I could sleep with whoever I wanted to and my spouse was OK with it, I'd probably try to take advantage of the situation as often as possible too.

 

[SirPappy]

Originally posted by: SearchMaster

Originally posted by: her209

Originally posted by: EyeMWing

Originally posted by: PunDogg
That would be really tough, I would prob. try to work it out, and if that didn;t work. Then get a divorce. Depending if you have small kids, i would try to stay together. On the question would you cheat, no i wouldn't do that, marriage is a contract that both people have to live up too. But in a sexless marriage i would stay and try to work it out, and if that didn;t happen then divorce, cuz you can;t keep on going like that, cuz you will eventually cheat

Dogg

ANY kids under 18 are a serious consideration there. Even if they aren't little kids, if you divorce the woman because you ain't gettin' no puss, you're basically telling the kid "Sex is all that matters, kthx"

Which is a dangerous thing to be telling a 12-18 year old.

But you can argue that act of sex is an show of affection for your significant other. By not having sex, you are basically telling the other person, "I don't love you enough to want to sleep with you".

Not necessarily. There are MANY factors that can contribute to a decline in sexual activity in a marriage. My wife had to have a hysterectomy after our third child. For a while, sex was very painful to her. In fact it still is to an extent. In addition, raising three young children is VERY draining. She is constantly tired, which is completely understandable, which makes it even harder to get "in the mood". These factors have lead to a less sexual relationship than we have ever had, but to be honest, our marriage is very strong right now. I know she WANTS to have more intimacy, but it's just not possible right now.

On the bright side, when we do get time away from the kids, we screw like rabbits.

exactly. between the newborn, new house and our new jobs, and everything else that keeps us insanely busy, its like we need to take a vacation just to have enough time and energy to have sex.

with that said, i think i need a new job.....

 

There would be no marriage without sex.

 

[Finalnight]

no sex = no marriage

 

[Promethply]

Sex would still exist as time goes by in the marriage, only the frequency would decrease gradually, until when the couple reaches late middle age they probably value the companionship more than the sexual aspect of their marriage.

Eros evolving into Philios

 

[Leper Messiah]

Originally posted by: EyeMWing

Originally posted by: PunDogg
That would be really tough, I would prob. try to work it out, and if that didn;t work. Then get a divorce. Depending if you have small kids, i would try to stay together. On the question would you cheat, no i wouldn't do that, marriage is a contract that both people have to live up too. But in a sexless marriage i would stay and try to work it out, and if that didn;t happen then divorce, cuz you can;t keep on going like that, cuz you will eventually cheat

Dogg

ANY kids under 18 are a serious consideration there. Even if they aren't little kids, if you divorce the woman because you ain't gettin' no puss, you're basically telling the kid "Sex is all that matters, kthx"

Which is a dangerous thing to be telling a 12-18 year old.

But its true!

 

[IHYLN]

Originally posted by: Nik
Why is sex such a defining portion of marriage for so many people? Why do so many people seemingly act so selfish in relationships? Like if sex isn't something that interests their partner, that their partner is suddenly not worth fighting for. If sex is all that people care about, why get married to begin with?

wow because oh I dont know, having sex is part of being a human being? And sex is just a big part of the whole package.

 

[Promethply]

Sex is part of all organisms that needs male and female counterparts to reproduce

But if sex is deemed as the most important part of a marriage, then that marriage won't last..

Young couples may start off with similar sex drives, but as they age, their sex drives may change at different rates, with women believed to reach their highest sex drive in their thirties while men reach their peak sex drive during their late teens to early twenties.