Post the WORST joke you know

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toant103

Lifer
Jul 21, 2001
10,514
1
0
HEBREW joke.



couple been married for like 60 years. Every morning, his wife would make him a cup of coffe. One day, she stop making the coffe for her husband. He asked her why and she said the bible told her not too.

She went to her room and showed him the bible. "Hebrew not SheBrew"
 

mAdMaLuDaWg

Platinum Member
Feb 15, 2003
2,437
1
0
Pink panther and an Ant were riding together on a motorcycle. All of the sudden, Pink Panther hit the breaks and the Ant goes flying off the motorcycle, hits the floor, and dies. Then what did Pink Panther say?



DEADANT, DEADANT, DEADANTANTANT.... (in the pink panther tune ;))
 

mattlear

Senior member
Jun 2, 2000
349
0
76
Q: If a man and a women need a marriage licence to get married, what do two lesbians need?
A: A Liquor license.

Q: What do you get when you cross an eskimo with a lesbian?
A: A Klondike

Q: Why did the dead baby cross the road?
A: It was stapled to the chicken

:D
 

Pathogen03

Golden Member
May 16, 2004
1,056
0
0
Originally posted by: SWScorch


How do you make a cat go woof?
Douse him in kerosene and toss him in the fire place.



A pirate walks into a bar, and strolls up to the bar for a drink.
The bartender looks at him and says 'Did you know you have a steering wheel sticking out of your pants?"
The pirate looks at him and says "Arrrrrrrr, it's drivin me nuts!"



For the first one, its more of a *whumph*

For the second, i found that funny. :) Arrrr!
 

Hossenfeffer

Diamond Member
Jul 16, 2000
7,462
1
0
Originally posted by: eLiTeGoodGuy
How do you get a retarded kid to kill himself?


Give him a knife and ask him... Who's Special?

:Q

My favorites so far:

2 fish are in a fish tank. One says to the other "you drive, I'll man the guns."

Two snowmen are standing in a field. One says to the other : "Funny, I smell carrots too".

A pirate walks into a bar, and strolls up to the bar for a drink.
The bartender looks at him and says 'Did you know you have a steering wheel sticking out of your pants?"
The pirate looks at him and says "Arrrrrrrr, it's drivin me nuts!"

A man walks into a shrink's office, wearing nothing but saran wrap. He says to the doc, "doctor, doctor, I think i'm going crazy1"

The doctor says, "well, I can see your nuts."

Two sausages are cooking in a frying pan. One sausage says, "Hey, is it just me, or is it warm in here?" To which the other sausage replies, "AAAAAHHH!!! A Talking Sausage!!!"

What's brown and sticky? A stick.

This computer's so old, it has a grandmotherboard.

What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Where's my tractor?

What's invisible and smells like carrots? Bunny farts.
 

StinkyPinky

Diamond Member
Jul 6, 2002
6,977
1,276
126
A rare genetic disorder has hit France. It appears an entire generation was born with no backbone.
 

RVN

Golden Member
Dec 1, 2000
1,154
1
81
How do you make a dead baby float? ...lift your foot off it's head and let it rise to the surface.
 

jagec

Lifer
Apr 30, 2004
24,442
6
81
Originally posted by: RVN
How do you make a dead baby float? ...lift your foot off it's head and let it rise to the surface.

alternatively....

How do you make a dead baby float?

Root beer, ice cream, and 1 dead baby.
 

RVN

Golden Member
Dec 1, 2000
1,154
1
81
Originally posted by: jagec
Originally posted by: RVN
How do you make a dead baby float? ...lift your foot off it's head and let it rise to the surface.

alternatively....

How do you make a dead baby float?

Root beer, ice cream, and 1 dead baby.

Nice! I like it>
 

mattlear

Senior member
Jun 2, 2000
349
0
76
Originally posted by: DurocShark
Originally posted by: mattlear

Q: Why did the dead baby cross the road?
A: It was stapled to the chicken

:D

Hey! That was mine! :|

Hrmm, didn't see that one posted... just did a search on 'dead' in topic and still don't see it.

Here's another one:

Did you hear that Lorena Bobbitt got into a terrible car accident this morning?
Apparently, some d1ck cut her off...
 

bcoupland

Senior member
Jun 26, 2004
346
0
76
What do you do when you see a native indian on a bike. Go get your bike back, Dumb@ss!

What do you call two natives on a bike? Organized crime.
 

OCNewbie

Diamond Member
Jul 18, 2000
7,596
25
81
Originally posted by: raanemaan
Ray putting arm around Matt says Do you know the difference between an anus and a a$$hole. Matt No. Ray says You can't put your arm arm around an anus.

Ahh, I'll have to try this one, sounds like it might bring some laughs =)