What do you call a girl with no arms and no legs on the beach?
Sandy
What do you call a man with no arms and no legs in a pile of leaves?
Russell
What do you call a man with no arms and no legs who can play all the instruments?
Stump the Band
What do you call a girl with no arms and no legs on the beach?
Sandy
What do you call a man with no arms and no legs in a pile of leaves?
Russell
What do you call a man with no arms and no legs who can play all the instruments?
Stump the Band
A priest, lawyer, and engineer are heading for the guillotine in revolutionary France. They are offered the choice of going face up or face down. The priest asks to go face up, so that the heavens are the last thing he sees. The blade is dropped and miraculously stops an inch from his neck. Amazed, the executioner lets him go, as it is obviously a sign from above. The lawyer, seeing this take place, decides that he too will go face up. The same thing happens to him, the blade stops an inch from his neck. He too is let go. The engineer figures if it's good enough for them, it's good enough for him. He lays down, face up, and the blade is raised. When it reaches the top, he calls out:
"I see your problem"
"I see your problem"
An American, Englishman, and Polock are captured by a tribe of cannibals in a remote jungle. The chief pulls aside the American and explains to him that he will be tortured for as long as he can remain alive, but when he finally dies, his bones will be fashioned into tools, his skull will be used for ritual ornaments, his meat will be eaten, and his skin used for a canoe. He is granted one last request. The American thinks for a moment and asks for a knife. Then he slits his throat to avoid the torture that will ensue.
The chief goes to the Englishman and tells him the same thing. He will be tortured for as long as he can remain alive, but when he finally dies, his bones will be fashioned into tools, his skull will be used for ritual ornaments, his meat will be eaten, and his skin used for a canoe. He is granted one last request. He asks for a sword, and stabs himself in the gut, to avoid the torture too.
The cheif then goes to the Polock and gives him the same speech. He will be tortured for as long as he can remain alive, but when he finally dies, his bones will be fashioned into tools, his skull will be used for ritual ornaments, his meat will be eaten, and his skin used for a canoe. He is granted one last request. He thinks about it for a moment, and asks for a fork. He is given the fork and begins stabbing himself in the stomach and says: "This is for your canoe!!"
The chief goes to the Englishman and tells him the same thing. He will be tortured for as long as he can remain alive, but when he finally dies, his bones will be fashioned into tools, his skull will be used for ritual ornaments, his meat will be eaten, and his skin used for a canoe. He is granted one last request. He asks for a sword, and stabs himself in the gut, to avoid the torture too.
The cheif then goes to the Polock and gives him the same speech. He will be tortured for as long as he can remain alive, but when he finally dies, his bones will be fashioned into tools, his skull will be used for ritual ornaments, his meat will be eaten, and his skin used for a canoe. He is granted one last request. He thinks about it for a moment, and asks for a fork. He is given the fork and begins stabbing himself in the stomach and says: "This is for your canoe!!"
____________________________________________________________________________________
Haha - As Triumph responded to the original posting of this 'joke' - - -
Posts: 5699
Joined: 10/09/1999
that was the worst delivery of a mediocre joke I've ever heard.
-------------------------
-Triumph
You want BAD? I HAVE bad!
What's 3 feet tall, black and blue and give's REALLY GREAT B/J's?
My KID!!
You asked for BAD!!!!!!
What's 3 feet tall, black and blue and give's REALLY GREAT B/J's?
My KID!!
You asked for BAD!!!!!!
What's black & white, has three eyes and sings?
Frank Sinatra and Sammy Davis Jr. onstage!!
(Obviously an ancient joke)
What does a fish say when it hits a wall??
DAM !!
-Scott
Frank Sinatra and Sammy Davis Jr. onstage!!
(Obviously an ancient joke)
What does a fish say when it hits a wall??
DAM !!
-Scott
since ducknuts is gone, I would have to say:
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Author Icon:
First Name: Syringer
Last Name: Syringer
Username: Syringer
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Country: United States
E-mail Address: tvnguy@uREMOVEcla.edu
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Originally posted by: ThePresence
Originally posted by: silverpig
How did the Georgian find his sister in the woods?
Pretty good
BAHAHAHAHAHA!
Originally posted by: vshah
just wanted to say that this tread is funnier than most "real" joke threads
-Vivan
indeed
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