Post the WORST joke you know

[rky60]

Two bytes are in a bar...

...one turns to the other and says, "I'm not feeling well. I think I might have a parity error."


The other says, "yeah, I thought you looked a bit off."

 

[brunswickite]

What do you call 20 blondes in a freezer?

Frosted Flakes.

 

[Ausm]

Here is a dirty joke:

2 pigs fell in the mud and three came out


Sysadmin

 

[StrangerGuy]

Why did the chicken cross the road?

 

[Ninjja]

Joe: What do you call a deer with no eyes?

Mary: No idea.

 

[ThePresence]

Two pancakes are in the frying pan.
One turns to the other and says "getting warm in here, don't you think"?
The other looks shocked and shrieks "OMG A TALKING PANCAKE"!!!

 

[Fritzo]

Originally posted by: Calin
What is having two legs and bleeds?

Half a dog

LOL!!!

 

[So]

Originally posted by: Fritzo

Originally posted by: Calin
What is having two legs and bleeds?

Half a dog

LOL!!!

Oh man. I actually laughed at that one...

 

[Electric Amish]

A lot of people hate this joke, but it's one of my favorites:

A guy and a girl are lying in bed after having sex.
The girl turns to the guy and says, "I was thinking about you and I realized that you might be a pedophile."
The guy looks at her and gasps, "Me? A PEDOPHILE? That's and awful big word for an 8 year-old."



*rim-shot*

 

[Izzo]

A man walks into a shrink's office, wearing nothing but saran wrap. He says to the doc, "doctor, doctor, I think i'm going crazy1"

The doctor says, "well, I can see your nuts."

 

[Orsorum]

Originally posted by: Electric Amish
A lot of people hate this joke, but it's one of my favorites:

A guy and a girl are lying in bed after having sex.
The girl turns to the guy and says, "I was thinking about you and I realized that you might be a pedophile."
The guy looks at her and gasps, "Me? A PEDOPHILE? That's and awful big word for an 8 year-old."



*rim-shot*

lol That retelling actually makes more sense than the one I heard previously.

 

[PanzerIV]

Irate customer at restaurant: This coffee tastes like mud!

Waiter: I don't know why sir, it was ground this morning!

Some of these are hilarious. The worst are turning out to be the best!

 

[kage69]

Hrmmmm...

What the smartest thing to ever come out of a woman's mouth?

Einstein's cawk.

How many Mexicans does it take to wax your car?

One...if you hit him just right.

What starts with a 'C', ends with a 'T', and has a 'U' and an 'N' in it?

Coconut.

How do you make your woman scream after sex?

Wipe your d!ck off on the curtains.

 

[Pex]

A man walks into a bar.



ouch.

 

[KLin]

a guy orders a bowl of soup at a cafe. The waiter brings it to him. The guy calls the waiter over and says "taste this soup for me". Waiter says "is there a fly in it?
Guy: "no, just taste the soup."
Waiter: "Is it too cold?"
guy: "just taste the soup"
waiter: "is it too spicy?"
guy: "JUST TASTE THE SOUP!"
waiter: "fine I'll taste it, where's the spoon?"

rimshot

 

[KLin]

Originally posted by: Pex
A man walks into a bar.



ouch.

REPOST

 

[Syringer]

Originally posted by: KLin
a guy orders a bowl of soup at a cafe. The waiter brings it to him. The guy calls the waiter over and says "taste this soup for me". Waiter says "is there a fly in it?
Guy: "no, just taste the soup."
Waiter: "Is it too cold?"
guy: "just taste the soup"
waiter: "is it too spicy?"
guy: "JUST TASTE THE SOUP!"
waiter: "fine I'll taste it, where's the spoon?"

rimshot

I don't get this one and the half a dog one

 

[Electric Amish]

Originally posted by: Syringer

Originally posted by: KLin
a guy orders a bowl of soup at a cafe. The waiter brings it to him. The guy calls the waiter over and says "taste this soup for me". Waiter says "is there a fly in it?
Guy: "no, just taste the soup."
Waiter: "Is it too cold?"
guy: "just taste the soup"
waiter: "is it too spicy?"
guy: "JUST TASTE THE SOUP!"
waiter: "fine I'll taste it, where's the spoon?"

rimshot

I don't get this one and the half a dog one

Can't taste the soup because HE DOESN"T HAVE A SPOON!

 

[Cadop]

Originally posted by: KLin
a guy orders a bowl of soup at a cafe. The waiter brings it to him. The guy calls the waiter over and says "taste this soup for me". Waiter says "is there a fly in it?
Guy: "no, just taste the soup."
Waiter: "Is it too cold?"
guy: "just taste the soup"
waiter: "is it too spicy?"
guy: "JUST TASTE THE SOUP!"
waiter: "fine I'll taste it, where's the spoon?"

rimshot

I remember hearing that in the movie Coming to America. Eddie Murphy was dressed up as that old white Jewish guy and that joke was hilarious.

 

[palle33]

what goes and goes but never make it to the door??

time....

 

[Vennon]

Did you hear the one about the cannibal that passed his brother in the woods?

 

[xcript]

My sister used to tell this one all the time.

Q: Why did the horse jump over the fence?
A: Because it wanted to.

 

[Chronoshock]

Originally posted by: Vennon
Did you hear the one about the cannibal that passed his brother in the woods?

Variation on the joke:
Did you hear about the cannibal?
He just dumped his girlfriend

 

[Radiohead]

Why did tigger look down the toilet?

To look for Pooh!

 

[bobbybe01]

I have a good book you should read, it's called "Tiger In The Midst" by Clawed Balls. Also, "50 Yards To The Out House" by Willy Makeit; edited by Betty Won't.