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Post the most nerdy/geeky joke you know!

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dajeepster

Golden Member
Apr 15, 2001
1,974
16
81
Two atoms are sitting at the bar.
The first atom comments "i've lost an electron"
The second atom questions "Are you sure?"
Then the first atom responds with "I'm positive!!"
 

jst0ney

Platinum Member
Feb 20, 2003
2,629
0
0
01010001 00111010 00100000 01001000 01101111 01110111 00100000 01101101 01100001 01101110 01111001 00100000 01001101 01101001 01100011 01110010 01101111 01110011 01101111 01100110 01110100 00100000 01100101 01101110 01100111 01101001 01101110 01100101 01100101 01110010 01110011 00100000 01100100 01101111 01100101 01110011 00100000 01101001 01110100 00100000 01110100 01100001 01101011 01100101 00100000 01110100 01101111 00100000 01100011 01101000 01100001 01101110 01100111 01100101 00100000 01100001 00100000 01101100 01101001 01100111 01101000 01110100 00101101 01100010 01110101 01101100 01100010 00111111 00001101 00001010 00001101 00001010 01000001 00111010 00100000 01001110 01101111 01101110 01100101 00100000 00101101 00100000 01110100 01101000 01100101 01111001 00100000 01101010 01110101 01110011 01110100 00100000 01100100 01100101 01100011 01101100 01100001 01110010 01100101 00100000 01100100 01100001 01110010 01101011 01101110 01100101 01110011 01110011 00100000 01110100 01101111 00100000 01100010 01100101 00100000 01101001 01101110 01100100 01110101 01110011 01110100 01110010 01111001 00100000 01110011 01110100 01100001 01101110 01100100 01100001 01110010 01100100 00101110
 

slackwarelinux

Senior member
Sep 22, 2004
540
0
0
Ok, I know a few engineering jokes.

An engineer, a lawyer, and a psychologist are walking through a park. As they are walking, they see two squirrels run across a fence and into a hollow in a tree. Moments later, three squirrels run out of the tree, and the walkers stop to ponder the incident. The psychologist explains ?The tree must be deeper than we could of seen from our vantage point?. The doctor argues ?The answer must be medical, the two squirrels reproduced?. The two look at the engineer, who pauses in thought for a short time. Eventually he says ?If another squirrel enters the tree, it will be empty.?

An engineer, a mathematician, and a physicist are attending a convention. Because the convention is really low budget, the attendees were placed in the cheapest hotel in town. All that is in the rooms is a old bed, a small black and white TV, a bathroom, and a bucket. Late at night, after the three went to sleep in their separate rooms, the television in the physicist's room lit on fire. Sleepy, he woke up, and noticed the fire. He rushed, grabbed his notepad and pencil, and estimated the BTU output of the fire. With a few quick calculations, he filled the bucket with the exact amount of water to put out the fire, and dumped it on, and it went out. Shortly afterward, the TV in the engineers room lit on fire. Awakened by the smell of smoke, the engineer saw the bucket, and rushed to fill it with water. Dripping some of the water from the overfilling bucket on the trip back from the bathroom, the engineer doused the fire, and extinguished it. About an hour later, the television on the mathematician's room lit itself on fire. When the mathematician woke up, he looked at the bucket, the fire, and the bathroom. Satisfied that he had found a solution, he went to sleep, and died in the fire.
 

reverend boltron

Senior member
Nov 18, 2004
945
0
76
Originally posted by: jst0ney
01010001 00111010 00100000 01001000 01101111 01110111 00100000 01101101 01100001 01101110 01111001 00100000 01001101 01101001 01100011 01110010 01101111 01110011 01101111 01100110 01110100 00100000 01100101 01101110 01100111 01101001 01101110 01100101 01100101 01110010 01110011 00100000 01100100 01101111 01100101 01110011 00100000 01101001 01110100 00100000 01110100 01100001 01101011 01100101 00100000 01110100 01101111 00100000 01100011 01101000 01100001 01101110 01100111 01100101 00100000 01100001 00100000 01101100 01101001 01100111 01101000 01110100 00101101 01100010 01110101 01101100 01100010 00111111 00001101 00001010 00001101 00001010 01000001 00111010 00100000 01001110 01101111 01101110 01100101 00100000 00101101 00100000 01110100 01101000 01100101 01111001 00100000 01101010 01110101 01110011 01110100 00100000 01100100 01100101 01100011 01101100 01100001 01110010 01100101 00100000 01100100 01100001 01110010 01101011 01101110 01100101 01110011 01110011 00100000 01110100 01101111 00100000 01100010 01100101 00100000 01101001 01101110 01100100 01110101 01110011 01110100 01110010 01111001 00100000 01110011 01110100 01100001 01101110 01100100 01100001 01110010 01100100 00101110
01101000011000010110100001100001
 

JayHu

Senior member
Mar 19, 2001
412
0
0
So e and pi get into a fight; 7 comes along and says 'come on guys, let's be rational'
 

Gibson486

Lifer
Aug 9, 2000
18,378
1
0
Originally posted by: reverend boltron
Originally posted by: Jeff7
Originally posted by: reverend boltron
What did the mathematician say after Thanksgiving dinner?

sqrt(-1/64)
I don't get this one.
sqrt(-1) = i
sqrt (1/64) = 1/8
i/8 = i over eight. Or "I over-ate"
a joke where you actuallty have to solve something? BRILLIANT!
 

dwcal

Senior member
Jul 21, 2004
765
0
0
The optimist says the glass is half full.
The pessimist says the glass is half empty.
The engineer says the glass is twice as big as it needs to be.
 

Windogg

Lifer
Oct 9, 1999
10,241
0
0
A real old one. Most kids won't get this one.

Q: What do you get when you cross Lee Iacocca with Count Dracula?
A: autoexec.bat
 

jupiter57

Diamond Member
Nov 18, 2001
4,600
2
71
An engineer is walking to work one day. He passes a stream and hears a voice. The voice is a coming from a frog.
The frog says "Please sir, a witch turned me into a frog, I am really a beautiful girl. If you will just kiss me, I will turn back into a girl,
& I would be so grateful that I'll stay with you as long as you want and do whatever you want: cook, clean, and plenty of sex in any way you desire!
The engineer picks up the frog, puts it in his pocket, and continues on his way.
The frog speaks up: "Hey, aren't you going to kiss me?"
The engineer replies: "Nah, I'm too busy for a girlfriend, but a talking frog is cool!"
 

Leros

Lifer
Jul 11, 2004
21,867
7
81
Originally posted by: jupiter57
An engineer is walking to work one day. He passes a stream and hears a voice. The voice is a coming from a frog.
The frog says "Please sir, a witch turned me into a frog, I am really a beautiful girl. If you will just kiss me, I will turn back into a girl,
& I would be so grateful that I'll stay with you as long as you want and do whatever you want: cook, clean, and plenty of sex in any way you desire!
The engineer picks up the frog, puts it in his pocket, and continues on his way.
The frog speaks up: "Hey, aren't you going to kiss me?"
The engineer replies: "Nah, I'm too busy for a girlfriend, but a talking frog is cool!"
That engineer may have just lost his man card.
 

Leros

Lifer
Jul 11, 2004
21,867
7
81
Originally posted by: Kyteland
Originally posted by: Leros
Originally posted by: Kyteland
Why did Intel call their new chip "Pentium"? Because when you added 100 to 486, you got 586.657654132167...

What do you get when you cross a Lion with a Tiger?
A line perpendicular to both.

To an optimist, the glass is half full. To a pessimist, the glass is half empty. To an engineer, the glass is twice as big as it needs to be.
I don't get the pentium one.
Not geek enough? :Q
I understand that, but I dont see what that has to do with the chip being named the Pentium. I mean... its a self referential thing. In the joke they called it a Pentium because Pentiums are known for exhibiting that behavior, but the origin of the name Pentium in the joke, is the same chip they are naming.

 

Jeff7

Lifer
Jan 4, 2001
41,599
17
81
Originally posted by: Leros
Originally posted by: jupiter57
An engineer is walking to work one day. He passes a stream and hears a voice. The voice is a coming from a frog.
The frog says "Please sir, a witch turned me into a frog, I am really a beautiful girl. If you will just kiss me, I will turn back into a girl,
& I would be so grateful that I'll stay with you as long as you want and do whatever you want: cook, clean, and plenty of sex in any way you desire!
The engineer picks up the frog, puts it in his pocket, and continues on his way.
The frog speaks up: "Hey, aren't you going to kiss me?"
The engineer replies: "Nah, I'm too busy for a girlfriend, but a talking frog is cool!"
That engineer may have just lost his man card.
Nah, his Fleshlight was waiting for him at home. It doesn't have a schedule of its own.
Who knows, maybe he's the one who invented the thing.
 

Jeff7

Lifer
Jan 4, 2001
41,599
17
81
Originally posted by: reverend boltron
Originally posted by: Jeff7
Originally posted by: reverend boltron
What did the mathematician say after Thanksgiving dinner?

sqrt(-1/64)
I don't get this one.
sqrt(-1) = i
sqrt (1/64) = 1/8
i/8 = i over eight. Or "I over-ate"
Ah. I viewed it as the square root of the quantity negative one-sixty-fourth, and as the square root of a negative number is imaginary, my thinking was:

What did the mathematician say after Thanksgiving dinner?
Imaginary number.



Didn't make much sense.
 

npoe1

Senior member
Jul 28, 2005
592
0
76
Originally posted by: Windogg
A real old one. Most kids won't get this one.

Q: What do you get when you cross Lee Iacocca with Count Dracula?
A: autoexec.bat
I did not get that :(
 

StevenYoo

Diamond Member
Jul 4, 2001
8,636
0
0
Originally posted by: npoe1
Originally posted by: Windogg
A real old one. Most kids won't get this one.

Q: What do you get when you cross Lee Iacocca with Count Dracula?
A: autoexec.bat
I did not get that :(
yeah, shouldn't it be the dot product instead of cross product?

GOSH.



Originally posted by: Jeff7

Here's another one I saw awhile ago online, and here it is again, courtesy of this site, with a little addition:
A constant function and e^x are walking on Broadway. Then suddenly the constant function sees a differential operator approaching and runs away. so e to-the x follows him and asks why the hurry.

"Well, you see, there's this diff.operator coming this way, and when we meet, he'll differentiate me and nothing will be left of me...!"

"Ah," says e^x, "he won't bother ME, I'm e to-the x!" and he walks on. Of course he meets the differential operator after a short distance.

e^x : "Hi, I'm e^x"

diff.op. : "Hi, I'm d/dy"

e^x : "Oh snap."
I laughed hard at this one. Good stuff
 

Jeff7

Lifer
Jan 4, 2001
41,599
17
81
Originally posted by: npoe1
Originally posted by: Windogg
A real old one. Most kids won't get this one.

Q: What do you get when you cross Lee Iacocca with Count Dracula?
A: autoexec.bat
I did not get that :(
I'm guessing that Lee Iacocca is the head of some car company.
 

dave518

Member
Jul 11, 2006
135
0
0
A constant function and e^x are walking on Broadway. Then suddenly the constant function sees a differential operator approaching and runs away. so e to-the x follows him and asks why the hurry.
I dont get it
 

amol

Lifer
Jul 8, 2001
11,679
1
0
Originally posted by: dave518
A constant function and e^x are walking on Broadway. Then suddenly the constant function sees a differential operator approaching and runs away. so e to-the x follows him and asks why the hurry.
I dont get it
Have you taken a beginning calculus class?
 

BUTCH1

Lifer
Jul 15, 2000
19,937
1,469
126
What does Star Trek and tolite paper have in common??? --They both circle uranus
searching for Klingons!!
 

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