Strange, one of the first things i see on this forum after starting a new relationship is this.
[Dragon365:] "Strange, one of the first things i see on this forum after starting a new relationship is this."
Does that mean you start a new relationship frequently? I mean, this type of thing happens too often at this forum.
Or maybe it's just synchronicity in action.
MichaelD, cool! I'm happy for you. I guess you'll always have your rival, but just a female version: Me.
Does that mean you start a new relationship frequently? I mean, this type of thing happens too often at this forum.
Or maybe it's just synchronicity in action. MichaelD, cool! I'm happy for you. I guess you'll always have your rival, but just a female version: Me.
Ditto...make me start wondering about my own.
Sorry to hear what happened. I can't even imagine how I would deal with something like that, although I don't think I would give myself emotionally in a 100% to someone to avoid getting hurt in the first place. Dump her now!!!
So I have to indoctrinate my feelings on a piece of paper to expect a level of exclusivity in my relationships?
Bullsh!t. There is no reason anyone should have to make a verbal or written contract to remain faithful. We're not talking about suing people later on in life here. If I were to cheat on my girlfriend of two years, she'd dump me on the spot, and I'd do the same. We're talking about respect, not logistics.
Have you EVER had a boyfriend, luvly?
As for jaeger, I'd take Geekbabe's advice and remain cool and collected (as hard as that may be). Depending on the payment situation, you stand to lose a lot of money on the house depending on how you follow through with this breakup.
"So I have to indoctrinate my feelings on a piece of paper to expect a level of exclusivity in my relationships?"
Don't create a false dichotomy. I said "or oral agreement". Is that asking to much? Isn't it always a good idea to clarify someone's stand on something rather than assume?
There was this lady on Dr. Phil's show that had the benefit of knowing that her relationship wasn't exclusive. She keeps whining and crying "sorry me" even though the guy had told her explicitly that this was an open relationship. Make it verbally clear or written. Take it or leave it. You have the choice to leave if you don't like it, rather than complain. What it does tell me about the person's character is that the person is disrespectful and has no self-respect, so I would leave it. In fact, I would be thankful that the person showed this to me early before I committed myself to him maritally.
"Have you EVER had a boyfriend, luvly? You don't seem to know a thing about relationships."
Oh, Mr. Jumpr has had a relationship and anyone with an opposite view hasn't: no I haven't ever had a relationship. I'm sure you would say the same to Geekbabe who has relatively the same view (check one of her old posts). I'm glad everyone should now consult Jumpr the experienced relationship guy, who knows only one truth and the truth. Now, kiss my behind . . . at least until you can have a discussion without getting personal.
Don't create a false dichotomy. I said "or oral agreement". Is that asking to much? Isn't it always a good idea to clarify someone's stand on something rather than assume?
There was this lady on Dr. Phil's show that had the benefit of knowing that her relationship wasn't exclusive. She keeps whining and crying "sorry me" even though the guy had told her explicitly that this was an open relationship. Make it verbally clear or written. Take it or leave it. You have the choice to leave if you don't like it, rather than complain. What it does tell me about the person's character is that the person is disrespectful and has no self-respect, so I would leave it. In fact, I would be thankful that the person showed this to me early before I committed myself to him maritally.
"Have you EVER had a boyfriend, luvly? You don't seem to know a thing about relationships."
Oh, Mr. Jumpr has had a relationship and anyone with an opposite view hasn't: no I haven't ever had a relationship. I'm sure you would say the same to Geekbabe who has relatively the same view (check one of her old posts). I'm glad everyone should now consult Jumpr the experienced relationship guy, who knows only one truth and the truth. Now, kiss my behind . . . at least until you can have a discussion without getting personal.
There's a HUGE difference between declaring an open relationship and what you described.
It's common sense to map out an open relationship if you're going to have one, as it's not a societal norm, and most people don't assume a relationship is open when one is begun.
However, it's my opinion that a relationship is closed unless stated otherwise. By your logic, luvly, I could start a relationship with a girl I really liked, fvck some other chick, and then say, "Oh but sweetie, you never STATED that I couldn't put my penis in a vagina other than yours!" That's a cop-out, and a HORRIBLE one at that.
That's why I call bullsh!t on your post - you're grabbing at straws.
Originally posted by: luvly
[Dragon365:] "Strange, one of the first things i see on this forum after starting a new relationship is this."
Does that mean you start a new relationship frequently? I mean, this type of thing happens too often at this forum.
Nah, just synchronicity, i'm not quite the ladies man myself.
"However, it's my opinion that a relationship is closed unless stated otherwise. By your logic, luvly, I could start a relationship with a girl I really liked, fvck some other chick, and then say, 'Oh but sweetie, you never STATED that I couldn't put my penis in a vagina other than yours!" That's a cop-out, and a HORRIBLE one at that."
Typically people don't verify things like this. However, if they're burnt, that's their beef in my view. Again, if you were presumptuous and believed that it was a closed relationship by default, then what's your problem? She doesn't meet your expectation, so let her go. Don't whine about it 'cuz you were presuming. She owes you nothing, as well as you owe her nothing. It also makes it easier for someone not to hide stuff from you and break your heart with the lies. Writing can mean for two lovers who stay apart but communicate primarily by mail (snail mail or e-mail).
Typically people don't verify things like this. However, if they're burnt, that's their beef in my view. Again, if you were presumptuous and believed that it was a closed relationship by default, then what's your problem? She doesn't meet your expectation, so let her go. Don't whine about it 'cuz you were presuming. She owes you nothing, as well as you owe her nothing. It also makes it easier for someone not to hide stuff from you and break your heart with the lies. Writing can mean for two lovers who stay apart but communicate primarily by mail (snail mail or e-mail).
Originally posted by: luvly
"I've said it before and I'll say it again.
E & I
Every...single...woman...is...Evil and Insane."
That abbreviation looks familiar! The feeling is mutual.
Not bitter...just been awakened to the reality of the female psyche. It's true. Women suffer no guilt after an adulterous affair. Women will manipulate a man through words and actions in order to get her way. Yes, there are men who use women but it's pretty obvious who they are and they're only after one thing, sex. Just don't hang around in bars and you'll bypass a big chunk of them.
- Aug 22, 2001
- 32,043
- 32,540
- 146
If you can keep your head when all about you
Are losing theirs and blaming it on you,
If you can trust yourself when all men doubt you
But make allowance for their doubting too,
If you can wait and not be tired by waiting,
Or being lied about, don't deal in lies,
Or being hated, don't give way to hating,
And yet don't look too good, nor talk too wise:
If you can dream--and not make dreams your master,
If you can think--and not make thoughts your aim;
If you can meet with Triumph and Disaster
And treat those two impostors just the same;
If you can bear to hear the truth you've spoken
Twisted by knaves to make a trap for fools,
Or watch the things you gave your life to, broken,
And stoop and build 'em up with worn-out tools:
If you can make one heap of all your winnings
And risk it all on one turn of pitch-and-toss,
And lose, and start again at your beginnings
And never breath a word about your loss;
If you can force your heart and nerve and sinew
To serve your turn long after they are gone,
And so hold on when there is nothing in you
Except the Will which says to them: "Hold on!"
If you can talk with crowds and keep your virtue,
Or walk with kings--nor lose the common touch,
If neither foes nor loving friends can hurt you;
If all men count with you, but none too much,
If you can fill the unforgiving minute
With sixty seconds' worth of distance run,
Yours is the Earth and everything that's in it,
And--which is more--you'll be a Man, my son!
--Rudyard Kipling
Are losing theirs and blaming it on you,
If you can trust yourself when all men doubt you
But make allowance for their doubting too,
If you can wait and not be tired by waiting,
Or being lied about, don't deal in lies,
Or being hated, don't give way to hating,
And yet don't look too good, nor talk too wise:
If you can dream--and not make dreams your master,
If you can think--and not make thoughts your aim;
If you can meet with Triumph and Disaster
And treat those two impostors just the same;
If you can bear to hear the truth you've spoken
Twisted by knaves to make a trap for fools,
Or watch the things you gave your life to, broken,
And stoop and build 'em up with worn-out tools:
If you can make one heap of all your winnings
And risk it all on one turn of pitch-and-toss,
And lose, and start again at your beginnings
And never breath a word about your loss;
If you can force your heart and nerve and sinew
To serve your turn long after they are gone,
And so hold on when there is nothing in you
Except the Will which says to them: "Hold on!"
If you can talk with crowds and keep your virtue,
Or walk with kings--nor lose the common touch,
If neither foes nor loving friends can hurt you;
If all men count with you, but none too much,
If you can fill the unforgiving minute
With sixty seconds' worth of distance run,
Yours is the Earth and everything that's in it,
And--which is more--you'll be a Man, my son!
--Rudyard Kipling
I understand completely what Luvly is saying here, but after 4 years, isn't the relationship pretty exclusive?
Thanks for all the replies. I will update, whatever happens, but right now we're both stuck here so there's no point in making a horrible situation totally unbearable. To recap-the house is hers(did that for the interest rate), but pretty much everything inside is mine including the appliances. So it's a bit more sticky than two kids sharing a studio apartment.
I am not sure what your local laws are, but if they are similar to what we have here (Colorado), you are/were in a legal and binding sense married when you first started co-habitating. This places anything that was purchased since then in a co-ownership no matter whose name is on purchase agreement.
I would suggest that you research your local laws concerning co-habitation and don't sign anything without consulting with a lawyer (assuming she has friends giving her legal advice sensing an imminent breakup).
Good luck..........
I would suggest that you research your local laws concerning co-habitation and don't sign anything without consulting with a lawyer (assuming she has friends giving her legal advice sensing an imminent breakup).
Good luck..........
Well good luck.
Did you pay for any of the house? I don't think it should be that hard to move out.
Anyway before you leave put it in her pooper without lube, and say goodbye after that.
Did you pay for any of the house? I don't think it should be that hard to move out.
Anyway before you leave put it in her pooper without lube, and say goodbye after that.
We split most of the costs, moving, bank payments, and that stuff, but that was only back in January so we were just starting to recover from all of that.
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