I want a Desi connecter on Friendster.

[slackerinabox]

Originally posted by: MaxDSP

Originally posted by: freedomsbeat212

Originally posted by: DigDug

i agree with you, it is really weird to see that... i'm chinese and it pisses me off when i see hyper-christian chinese people. but that's their choice... i wouldn't want them bugging me about my choices in life, so i don't bug them about theirs.

But gopunk, I'm not bugging people. I posted a topic on finding desi friendsters and freedoms comes in with how he hates the word desi. And at that point, I was fed up with his little commonets implying about how white he is and how disconnected from indian culture he is - its a typical behavior that I've seen by many like him. So I decided to bluntly write....

Oh, grow up.. I hate the word Desi.. Same way I hate the word n*gger.. I view them as equals, a slang word that people in an ethnic group use to describe each other. You're the one who turned this into a debate - I offered to add you to my friendster list! I take it back because I wouldn't want my friends to think that I have anything to do with a narrow minded, ignorant person such as yourself..

How in the hell do you view the word n*gger and desi as equals? How is desi derogatory in any way to indians? Sue you didn't mean the word fob?

n*gger in it's current usage by black people... Think about it.. To be clear, I don't think that desi is a derogatory term but an exclusionary one..

 

[DigDug]

n*gger in it's current usage by black people... Think about it..

Yeah I have, and I've read the weak arguments justifying its usage - reclamation of an opressive word - and arguments against it - internalized self-hatred. Perhaps its the latter, which you apparently do feel, that leads you to see the two words as the same, but there is absolutely no historical or colloquial similarity. This is seriously in your head, bro.

To be clear, I don't think that desi is a derogatory term but an exclusionary one..

Dude, you need to think about it a little more. Words of categorization are by definition are exclusionary and inclusionary. You think Desi should mean everyone on earth? Maybe that's your view of the word White? How about tree? Is that too exclusionary a word? All I see is your own complex in full blast.

 

[Ameesh]

Originally posted by: AUMM

Originally posted by: DigDug

Digdug, you need to grow up. wish i had more time to dissect your writings - but u seem to be more disillusioned than others ... more later!

Oh, I'm curious to hear. More disillusioned than most?! Wow! I would think that rejecting one's whole culture would take that prize, but I guess I'm wrong!


Listen, I'm not advocating a refusal of America. I'm a porud american and was born and raised here, as opposed to some of you, I'm sure. I love this country and this is my country first and foremost, but I will NEVER refuse to recognize my cultural heritage. I'm so glad to be born in a culture that has so much to offer, and the negative that my exist are the parts of that culture that I do shed. I refuse to believe that these kids are tossing away indian culture becauseo f Sati and dowry, as some of them have argued. That is just a transparent excuse for a greater dissatisfaction. Perhaps they were picked on - perhaps they don't see the "other side" of western culture, but for some reason, they think that they can successfully adopt one and dump the other. Sorry, people, go ahead and try, but if for anything else, your dark brown skin won't let you.

right, because every indian is dark brown ?

only the dirty telegu speaking south indians are dark brown, my family is from gujrat and we all have a mocha complextion and speak a civilized language.

 

[TubStain]

Originally posted by: DigDug
I just don't see how people don't find something clearly off-kilter with someone whose desire is to be of another culture, especially when color is so connected to it? This problem is especially prevalent among easterners who believe in western religions, so I can't help but think that there is some merit to the difficulty/problem with trying to adopt a culture that has grown out of another people. Muslim Indians are constantly trying make links to their "Arab" past, which if even true, is ironically do probably to a plunder or raping of an ancestor by such invaders. Christian Indians also adopt names from linguical roots not remotely related to their people, and adopt religious behavior equally as alien. Do you know how frankly odd it is to see a bunch of Sri Lankans, for example, dressed up and acting out a nativity scene, pretending to walk around in Jerusalem? Can you not see the result of this internalization, and the inevitable rejection of their indigenous culture? Religion and culture are on some level, inextricably linked with color. That's honestly how I see it is.Is this a fanatical stance? I don't think so, in fact, I think it takes a great deal of fanaticism justify and internalize the opposite. Especially when much of the presence of these religions in such alien areas were only possible through conquest and plunder.

As a Christian Indian with an anglicized name, I take offense to what you say and see strains of hindu radicalism in your very nature. It's those hundu radicals like you in India that believe that hindus in india should not be converted to whatever religion they choose. If they seek freedom from bring bound by a caste and being on equal footing by changing their religions, then let them be. I've enjoyed my upbringing as a christian indian, and attending those nativity scenes you look down on. There is a joy in it that you will never understand, just like there is a joy in being a hindu or a muslim that I will never understand BUT do not EVER cross the line into thinking someone is inferior to you because they worship a different god or follow different practices from you. Open yourself to accepting indians in all their flavors your own life will be more meaningful. India thrives on its multiculturalism and multiple religions, dont homogenize it. There should never be a single way to define all indians.

 

[MaxDSP]

Originally posted by: DigDug

n*gger in it's current usage by black people... Think about it..

Yeah I have, and I've read the weak arguments justifying its usage - reclamation of an opressive word - and arguments against it - internalized self-hatred. Perhaps its the latter, which you apparently do feel, that leads you to see the two words as the same, but there is absolutely no historical or colloquial similarity. This is seriously in your head, bro.

To be clear, I don't think that desi is a derogatory term but an exclusionary one..

Dude, you need to think about it a little more. Words of categorization are by definition are exclusionary and inclusionary. You think Desi should mean everyone on earth? Maybe that's your view of the word White? How about tree? Is that too exclusionary a word? All I see is your own complex in full blast.

DigDug, have you ever heard the phrase used to describe arguing over the internet?

 

[yllus]

"Desi" = FOB = loser.

 

[Qacer]

Just because he looks Indian doesn't mean he is Indian. That's like the same thing as seeing a white person as being American instead of being from Sweden, Germany, etc.. Your skin color doesn't make you anything. What makes you is your cultural upbringing and the surrounding environment.

Hell, if he feels he is "white," then let it be. There's nothing wrong with that. It just means he grew up in an environment mostly dominated by "white" culture. By the way, there's no such thing as white culture. I don't know why the media keeps mentioning it.

Originally posted by: DigDug
I'm sorry if I was harsh on Freedomsbeat, especially after he offered to invite me. For that I'm sorry, Freedoms. However, what I said above was in response to what I've noticed about you. I'm a born and bread American, and am very Americanized in many ways. It was a difficult time growing up - I (and you, depending on how old you are) didn't have the public's empathy for all things Indian. There weren't any "Bindhi kits" in Border's back when I was a kid. In those days, I actually preferred invisibility as a minority to the sometimes negative feedback that I got. But, now is the time, bro. It's easier than ever to step out of your self-loathing and embrace being an indian. Stop with the endless efforts to try and craft yourself into something palatable by the white mainstream. They are good people, indeed, but you are NOT one of them. You stand to gain more from educating them about your culture, showing them and standing as an example of how much good exists in our Indian culture, rather than trying to hide it, or wipe it under the carpet. Respect is not gained by overt self-loathing, and if you are ever like the kids I knew, you are quick to put down your own in front of them.

Let me guess:
1. You just don't find indian girls attractive
2. You hate the term Desi" (oh wait, you already said that)
3. You hate indian music
4. You don't like to speak in Hind, Telegu, or whatever your mothertongue is, in public.
5. You get embarrased when you see another Indian "behaving" Indian.

 

[EmperorIQ]

Originally posted by: freedomsbeat212

Originally posted by: DigDug
I'm sorry if I was harsh on Freedomsbeat, especially after he offered to invite me. For that I'm sorry, Freedoms. However, what I said above was in response to what I've noticed about you. I'm a born and bread American, and am very Americanized in many ways. It was a difficult time growing up - I (and you, depending on how old you are) didn't have the public's empathy for all things Indian. There weren't any "Bindhi kits" in Border's back when I was a kid. In those days, I actually preferred invisibility as a minority to the sometimes negative feedback that I got. But, now is the time, bro. It's easier than ever to step out of your self-loathing and embrace being an indian. Stop with the endless efforts to try and craft yourself into something palatable by the white mainstream. They are good people, indeed, but you are NOT one of them. You stand to gain more from educating them about your culture, showing them and standing as an example of how much good exists in our Indian culture, rather than trying to hide it, or wipe it under the carpet. Respect is not gained by overt self-loathing, and if you are ever like the kids I knew, you are quick to put down your own in front of them.

Let me guess:
1. You just don't find indian girls attractive
2. You hate the term Desi" (oh wait, you already said that)
3. You hate indian music
4. You don't like to speak in Hind, Telegu, or whatever your mothertongue is, in public.
5. You get embarrased when you see another Indian "behaving" Indian.

You sure as hell write a lot.. But i'll reply to your questions:
1. No, too much damn facial hair
2. Yes, because it's misused..
3. I love classical indian music and pakistani music but just like I listen to Turkish music and world music in general.. Classical indian culture is fascinating to me... It's modern culture that bothers me..
4. I don't know how to speak Tamil... Why would need to, we're in the U.S. not Madras?
5. Eh, I ignore the parents who beat their kids in public or the guys who walk around in slippers and dresses...

Oh, and I love indian food and Satyajit Ray and Santosh Sivan are two of my favorite filmmakers..

heh ^

 

[nativesunshine]

orkut is better...

http://www.orkut.com

 

[EmperorIQ]

ok, so i'm chinese, and I used to not like my own culture mainly because of how communist they are. When i say that, i mean community based and how the richest, most well-off family member must disburse his/her money to the other relatives, this is based on what i've observed in my family. But now i'm slowly, not completely, out of that stage. Humanity in general is pretty weird, not just individual cultures. Every country has their negatives.

One last thing. Why the hell do people always have to make comments like "the white man is bringing us down" "must fight against them." dude, this sucks! everytime a culture feels that their "people" are breaking apart its the white man's fault. Why?

 

[AgaBoogaBoo]

Let me explain my dislike of Indian culture. There are somethings I really dislike about it: the treatment of women in less literate areas, the burning of female babies, this stupid hierarchy based on how light your skin is. These are traits common in lots of cultures, I'm just at liberty to discuss them because I have first hand knowledge of the atrocities (my cousin in indian can not get married because she's too dark). Arranged marriage also pisses me off. Now, Indian culture has a lot going for it as well, but my argument is that every culture has positive and negative attributes. I hate that my identity is based on my skin color, both by white people and, especially, by indians. Indians have judged me as being a "coconut" (brown on the outside white on the inside" because I rocked to Pearl Jam instead of hip hop (yes, ironic, I know)... They look at me funny when I talk about wanting to be a writer ("Why aren't you going to go into computers, you're so smart!"), they called me a wannabe Jew for being so into movies... I feel like I'm far more accepted by white people than by indian people so it pisses me off when people like DigDug try to shove b.s. like "you have to embrace your motherland" down my throat.. Hey, I've tried.. I honestly have tried to speak to indian folks, the only one's I have anything in common with are the outcasts... And I do embrace my motherland: New York, Baby!

Treatment of women? Please, explain more

Burning of female babies? wth? I'm sure it exists in every culture to a certain extent but it's not something common. NONE of my relatives/people I know have done that

Skin color? Again, wth? not getting married THESE DAYS because of skin color is more of an excuse for something else that's being hidden. If she didn't get married because of her skin color, something else influenced it, if someone let's skin color control them that much then there is something wrong with that.

 

[GoodToGo]

Wow lots of bashing going on in this thread Let me add my 2 cents. I am an Indian who came to the states 6 years ago and am loving each moment of it People here are much more civilized and actually give a DAMN about something. But that does not mean that I hate India. There are shortcomings in each country and India has them as well. At least we dont go around invading other countries right?

Indians in general who come here have given the rest of us quite a bad name. They may be great people but when it comes to dressing style and money, they are probably among the WORST of the immigrant communities. Of course I realize that I was at one stage like that myself. But I changed myself to adapt with the American life style instead. My accent has changed so much that people cant believe that I am on F1 (student) visa and not a national of this country Also I am a little relaxed about money and dont mind spending some money to have fun. Now that I earn as a graduate student, I go out on weekends, eat out, go clubbing, buy clothes,rafting,movies blah blah. I can feel for the FOB's who come here but I get furious when people stick on to the old "lallu panju" style instead of adapating some American values. If you dont want to adapt to here's atmosphere, then why on Earth do you come here in the first place?

And to you freedomsbeat212, you curse your Dad so much right? You wanna know why he came to America? He came here for you to give you a education and make sure that you dont go through the hard ships that he went through. Whether you buy that or not is upto you. Ask him that question one day and dont be suprised if I was right.

 

[cliftonite]

whats a friendster

 

[Ninjja]

Originally posted by: cliftonite
whats a friendster

awww. your post is cute. I'll be your friendster. hehehehehe.


(MWWWUUHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA)

 

[AgaBoogaBoo]

Originally posted by: GoodToGo
You wanna know why he came to America? He came here for you to give you a education and make sure that you dont go through the hard ships that he went through. Whether you buy that or not is upto you. Ask him that question one day and dont be suprised if I was right.

Ding ding ding!

 

[TommyVercetti]

Originally posted by: AgaBooga

Let me explain my dislike of Indian culture. There are somethings I really dislike about it: the treatment of women in less literate areas, the burning of female babies, this stupid hierarchy based on how light your skin is. These are traits common in lots of cultures, I'm just at liberty to discuss them because I have first hand knowledge of the atrocities (my cousin in indian can not get married because she's too dark). Arranged marriage also pisses me off. Now, Indian culture has a lot going for it as well, but my argument is that every culture has positive and negative attributes. I hate that my identity is based on my skin color, both by white people and, especially, by indians. Indians have judged me as being a "coconut" (brown on the outside white on the inside" because I rocked to Pearl Jam instead of hip hop (yes, ironic, I know)... They look at me funny when I talk about wanting to be a writer ("Why aren't you going to go into computers, you're so smart!"), they called me a wannabe Jew for being so into movies... I feel like I'm far more accepted by white people than by indian people so it pisses me off when people like DigDug try to shove b.s. like "you have to embrace your motherland" down my throat.. Hey, I've tried.. I honestly have tried to speak to indian folks, the only one's I have anything in common with are the outcasts... And I do embrace my motherland: New York, Baby!

Treatment of women? Please, explain more

Burning of female babies? wth? I'm sure it exists in every culture to a certain extent but it's not something common. NONE of my relatives/people I know have done that

Skin color? Again, wth? not getting married THESE DAYS because of skin color is more of an excuse for something else that's being hidden. If she didn't get married because of her skin color, something else influenced it, if someone let's skin color control them that much then there is something wrong with that.

Explain me the skin color and getting married thing again, from your point of view?

 

[RabidMongoose]

Originally posted by: TommyVercetti

Originally posted by: AgaBooga

Let me explain my dislike of Indian culture. There are somethings I really dislike about it: the treatment of women in less literate areas, the burning of female babies, this stupid hierarchy based on how light your skin is. These are traits common in lots of cultures, I'm just at liberty to discuss them because I have first hand knowledge of the atrocities (my cousin in indian can not get married because she's too dark). Arranged marriage also pisses me off. Now, Indian culture has a lot going for it as well, but my argument is that every culture has positive and negative attributes. I hate that my identity is based on my skin color, both by white people and, especially, by indians. Indians have judged me as being a "coconut" (brown on the outside white on the inside" because I rocked to Pearl Jam instead of hip hop (yes, ironic, I know)... They look at me funny when I talk about wanting to be a writer ("Why aren't you going to go into computers, you're so smart!"), they called me a wannabe Jew for being so into movies... I feel like I'm far more accepted by white people than by indian people so it pisses me off when people like DigDug try to shove b.s. like "you have to embrace your motherland" down my throat.. Hey, I've tried.. I honestly have tried to speak to indian folks, the only one's I have anything in common with are the outcasts... And I do embrace my motherland: New York, Baby!

Treatment of women? Please, explain more

Burning of female babies? wth? I'm sure it exists in every culture to a certain extent but it's not something common. NONE of my relatives/people I know have done that

Skin color? Again, wth? not getting married THESE DAYS because of skin color is more of an excuse for something else that's being hidden. If she didn't get married because of her skin color, something else influenced it, if someone let's skin color control them that much then there is something wrong with that.

Explain me the skin color and getting married thing again, from your point of view?

Some people act that ligher skin color = more attractive = can be married. If you're 'dark', then you can't be married or nobody will want you and you will die as the old crazy lady down the street that lives by herself and has hundreds of cats in her home.

Some of you people seem like you are around a ton of fobs. Almost every indian guy that I know is not religious, does not really listen to Indian music or movies and cannot even speak their parents' original language. I don't even consider myself some sort of outcast or whatever..

 

[airfoil]

Anyone hear of ABCD? Seems to me there's a whole bunch of them here...

 

[DigDug]

Indeed

 

[CanOWorms]

I scream "Jihad!!!!!!!" when I see that white people are getting close to me and then they scatter away. It helps me be pure.

 

[GoodToGo]

Originally posted by: airfoil
Anyone hear of ABCD? Seems to me there's a whole bunch of them here...

More like DCBA (Desi Chala Banane American)

 

[UlricT]

I have said this to many people before, and I will say this again...

I consider most Indians (meaning most of your parents) who have moved to the US to be people who have come seeking their fortunes. They were not part of the privileged back in India, which is the reason they sought greener pastures in the US of A. Their behaviour, sadly, is dictated by this, and most of them bear a grudge against the world. This is easiest to take out on family, and the people nearest to you.

I find it quite sad that so many of you have had to grow up in a situation like this. It will naturally skew your perception on anything Indian, tagging India as the reason for your misery while growing up. This is quite easy to do because you do not interact with Indians, other than those stuck in the same situation as you.

Every nationality/race/r3ligion has its good and bad aspects. People who are loosely termed "white trash" here have their own set of problems, which they too try to alleviate. I am not saying that any of you guys should start wearing a dhoti and run around in chappals. Being Indian is something you should consider as part of you, and not assume that it has to define who you are. I know a lot of Indians from back home who listen to what I shall lazily term "modern white" music. Me, I'm more of a classic/psychedelic rock guy... but this does not mean that I judge every Indian who goes for "Bhangra Blowout" as a narrowminded person. People who go for "Bhangra Blowout" get married to americans girls too!

Maybe its just teen rebellion, but bearing a grudge against the world is not going to do anything for you... so why bother?

 

[DigDug]

Yeah, maybe that is it. My parents came here on compltetly different terms. They came in the late sixties as children of diplomats, so they are a helluva lot more progrssive than some of your parents. However, that has had its downsdide too. I've spent much of my adult life, although at 28 that isn't much, reclaiming my heritage.

 

[UlricT]

ohhh... about the treatment of women in India, one of the few places where a matriarchial society was accepted was in Kerala (Indian state where I am from). The state has gone to the commies though

 

[UlricT]

Hey DigDug, that is quite similar to my dad! My granddad was a diplomat here(UN), and my dad was here and in Vienna for most of the sixties