I think I have the worst coworker in the world.

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skyking

skyking

Lifer
Nov 21, 2001
22,013
4,779
146
Awesome! This deserves a sticky so you can refer to it when anybody else complains about a co-worker.
 
S

ShawnD1

Lifer
May 24, 2003
15,987
2
81
MrMatt said:
I have to stop here. I'm ready to punch a hole in a wall. But seriously, who does that?? Who makes up all these bullshit stories about his life??
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I had one of these guys in a few of my chemistry classes. He was so much fun to talk to. He said he was a personal bodyguard for some asian gang leader. He said he was a bouncer at a club and 10:1 against them was "good odds". He claimed to have started numerous small businesses ranging from wedding planning to honey wine selling (these might actually be true).

Always a good time with these guys. They always have the most ridiculous story to brighten my day.
 
ktehmok

ktehmok

Diamond Member
Aug 4, 2001
4,326
0
76
Are you sure this guy isn't on that new show, the one where the owner of the company goes to work as a flunky for a while to see how his company is run?
 
CoinOperatedBoy

CoinOperatedBoy

Golden Member
Dec 11, 2008
1,809
0
76
Waiting for the ATOT man's-man-brigade to come in and tell OP to mind his own business because this is normal male coworker behavior.
 
sygyzy

sygyzy

Lifer
Oct 21, 2000
14,001
4
76
Usually when people tell really elaborate lies, not like why they were late for work, but whole made up histories, it means they are mentally unstable. That's my guess at least.
 
sourceninja

sourceninja

Diamond Member
Mar 8, 2005
8,805
65
91
Personally, I'd just one up him. I'd just make up stories even larger then his.

He beat his wife..that's fine I killed my first wife after writing a decent file system, then pinned it on the russian mob.

He gets all the pussy in clubs...that's fine, I'm a male gigolo on the side. Chicks actually pay me for sex.

Trust me, it works.
 
M

MAKENITO

Diamond Member
Aug 21, 2009
3,864
0
0
sourceninja said:
Personally, I'd just one up him. I'd just make up stories even larger then his.

He beat his wife..that's fine I killed my first wife after writing a decent file system, then pinned it on the russian mob.

He gets all the pussy in clubs...that's fine, I'm a male gigolo on the side. Chicks actually pay me for sex.

Trust me, it works.
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Hahahahahaha Hilarious!! - Yes, do this!!
 
SunnyD

SunnyD

Belgian Waffler
Jan 2, 2001
32,674
145
106
www.neftastic.com
C

chusteczka

Diamond Member
Apr 12, 2006
3,400
1
71
TwiceOver said:
What you need to do is come up with a completely ridiculous over the top story that he gets sucked into and then step it up even more until he says "Bull shit" and then say "Yeah, now you know how much of a douche moron you sound like so shut the fuck up and get to work".
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I did something like this once in boot camp. Many of the others kept bragging about their personal accomplishments and the stories became very exaggerated. I made the mistake of deciding to top them all with a wildly fabricated story of having slept with Minnie Mouse at the Epcot Center during our last week of boot camp. (This was navy boot camp in Orlando, Florida.) I am not a person for lying or storytelling and people kept asking me to retell the story, so it developed in its fabricated details. Then one day, the drill instructor calls us all to attention, walks up to me, and asks me point blank if I did indeed sleep with Minnie Mouse. Damn, that scared the hell out of me to be called out like that. I replied with my eyes straight ahead and a strong, "Sir, Yes Sir", he judged my response, said "Ok", and walked away. If it wasn't for the strong training of standing at attention, my knees would have buckled. From now on, my stories contain only the truth.
 
D

darkswordsman17

Lifer
Mar 11, 2004
23,075
5,557
146
SunnyD said:
... sarcastically of course. Did you happen to flush your sense of humor along with your morning constitutional or something?

If you can't understand a joke, then don't comment on it. :rolleyes:
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I think you're the one not understanding. I was joking about you making an old joke, while referencing your thread about flying cars, which is also an old joke. In short, your jokes are old, which is why I was making fun of it. Har, har, I love how you question if I flushed my sense of humor (you're not showing your age at all by mentioning a morning bowel movement ritual, by the way). I also love how you say you were being sarcastic about the McDonald's joke, but couldn't tell that I was with what I said.
 
ktehmok

ktehmok

Diamond Member
Aug 4, 2001
4,326
0
76
chusteczka said:
I did something like this once in boot camp. Many of the others kept bragging about their personal accomplishments and the stories became very exaggerated. I made the mistake of deciding to top them all with a wildly fabricated story of having slept with Minnie Mouse at the Epcot Center during our last week of boot camp. (This was navy boot camp in Orlando, Florida.) I am not a person for lying or storytelling and people kept asking me to retell the story, so it developed in its fabricated details. Then one day, the drill instructor calls us all to attention, walks up to me, and asks me point blank if I did indeed sleep with Minnie Mouse. Damn, that scared the hell out of me to be called out like that. I replied with my eyes straight ahead and a strong, "Sir, Yes Sir", he judged my response, said "Ok", and walked away. If it wasn't for the strong training of standing at attention, my knees would have buckled. From now on, my stories contain only the truth.
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That could have gone real bad. Minnie Mouse might have been his daughter.

Funny story though.
 
TehMac

TehMac

Diamond Member
Aug 18, 2006
9,979
3
71
Dude, that is awesome, I'll say, he sounds like entertainment, but depending what you do, productivity sounds like it'd plummet quickly.
 
joesmoke

joesmoke

Diamond Member
Nov 2, 2007
5,423
2
0
"this" guy used to be friends with my roommates years ago. according to him he used to be a drug dealing baller in oregon with millions of dollars and hella trick cars (for instance a 600hp eclipse with titanium block, pistons, rods, springs, crank, intake etc) but of course NOW he was driving a 91 accord and bussing tables at an olive garden...
 
amdhunter

amdhunter

Lifer
May 19, 2003
23,324
219
106
It took me weeks to clear that damned yeast infection from my eye.
OP, stop talking shit about mah boy on these forums.
 
SunnyD

SunnyD

Belgian Waffler
Jan 2, 2001
32,674
145
106
www.neftastic.com
darkswordsman17 said:
I think you're the one not understanding. I was joking about you making an old joke, while referencing your thread about flying cars, which is also an old joke. In short, your jokes are old, which is why I was making fun of it. Har, har, I love how you question if I flushed my sense of humor (you're not showing your age at all by mentioning a morning bowel movement ritual, by the way). I also love how you say you were being sarcastic about the McDonald's joke, but couldn't tell that I was with what I said.
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It's gotta be those joke glasses you have on. They're just throwing me all off today.
 
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