I need Jesus jokes! **Offensive to the thin-skinned**

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mdennison

Golden Member
Jun 6, 2001
1,710
0
0
What's the difference between your mom and Jesus?



Jesus doesn't give handjobs behind the Circle K every night!


























 

blakeatwork

Diamond Member
Jul 18, 2001
4,113
1
81
Originally posted by: mdennison
What's the difference between your mom and Jesus?



Jesus doesn't give handjobs behind the Circle K every night!

Not having lived in the backwoods of OK, I am unfamiliar with this Circle K, but I assume you're referring to a local watering hole... more than likely one with sawdust on the floor, and planks held up by sawhorses as tables...

 

Electric Amish

Elite Member
Oct 11, 1999
23,578
1
0
Originally posted by: blakeatwork
Originally posted by: mdennison
What's the difference between your mom and Jesus?



Jesus doesn't give handjobs behind the Circle K every night!

Not having lived in the backwoods of OK, I am unfamiliar with this Circle K, but I assume you're referring to a local watering hole... more than likely one with sawdust on the floor, and planks held up by sawhorses as tables...

Actually, no it's a petrol station.

amish
 

Dedpuhl

Lifer
Nov 20, 1999
10,370
0
76
What's the difference between Jesus and a picture of Jesus?



It only takes one nail to hang up a picture of Jesus....
 

Spamela

Diamond Member
Oct 30, 2000
3,859
0
76
Originally posted by: xirtam
The motion has been made and seconded.

All in favor of the motion which reads:

The Anandtech member "blakeatwork" shall henceforth be banned.

Say "aye"

the mob cries: BAN HIM, BAN HIM.
 

Crimzon

Senior member
Nov 6, 2002
873
0
0
Lighten up. Outta all the people I've met, Christians are usually the least forgiving when it comes to anything concerning their religion. Sheesh.
 

blakeatwork

Diamond Member
Jul 18, 2001
4,113
1
81
Well Amnesiac, how does your foot taste??

Originally posted by: amnesiac
Man, I got a really good one but I KNOW I'd risk a ban for it. :p

If you want to hear the most offensive joke ever, PM me. ;)

see this thread

:p
 

blakeatwork

Diamond Member
Jul 18, 2001
4,113
1
81
Originally posted by: Crimzon
Lighten up. Outta all the people I've met, Christians are usually the least forgiving when it comes to anything concerning their religion. Sheesh.


Nope... I'm non-practicing Irish-Roman Catholic..

 

Isla

Elite member
Sep 12, 2000
7,749
2
0
I've always wanted this bumper sticker... It's really more a jab at hypocrites.


Jesus is coming.... Look busy!
 

blakeatwork

Diamond Member
Jul 18, 2001
4,113
1
81
Originally posted by: Isla
I've always wanted this bumper sticker... It's really more a jab at hypocrites.


Jesus is coming.... Look busy!

My grandmother had that one on her moped.... crazy lady was narcoleptic too... She'd sleep through dinner, but put her in a Bingo Parlour, and that girl could dab for three hours, roll her ciagrettes, and still manage to hit you with her cane if you talked to her while the numbers were being called...

Damn I miss her..
 

Crimzon

Senior member
Nov 6, 2002
873
0
0
Originally posted by: blakeatwork
Originally posted by: Crimzon
Lighten up. Outta all the people I've met, Christians are usually the least forgiving when it comes to anything concerning their religion. Sheesh.


Nope... I'm non-practicing Irish-Roman Catholic..


I seem to remember something about all Catholics being Christian, and not all Christians being Catholic. So my use of the word Christians would include Chatholics. And are saying you're not offended by the jokes, well good for you. If you're saying that you are, but you're not Christian... well you are. Unless my understanding is horribly wrong.
 

Marshallj

Platinum Member
Mar 26, 2003
2,326
0
76
People need to lighten up.

Christians are the least forgiving people, and the most insecure people.

They want people to respect their religion, but they don't have much tolerance for other religions. In fact, many Christians believe that people of other religions will go to hell, the worst place possible.
 

Brutuskend

Lifer
Apr 2, 2001
26,558
4
0
Originally posted by: Marshallj
People need to lighten up.

Christians are the least forgiving people, and the most insecure people.

They want people to respect their religion, but they don't have much tolerance for other religions. In fact, many Christians believe that people of other religions will go to hell, the worst place possible.

Not to mention some believe that if your even of a differant denomination, you'll go to hell!
rolleye.gif
 

Stark

Diamond Member
Jun 16, 2000
7,735
0
0
i don't have a problem with jesus jokes, per se, just the small detail that they need to be offensive... hence intended to offend. And this passes as entertainment for Easter family dinner?

My grandma's Catholic... she'd kick my butt if I started telling priest/alter boy jokes on easter.
 

blakeatwork

Diamond Member
Jul 18, 2001
4,113
1
81
Originally posted by: Crimzon
Originally posted by: blakeatwork
Originally posted by: Crimzon
Lighten up. Outta all the people I've met, Christians are usually the least forgiving when it comes to anything concerning their religion. Sheesh.


Nope... I'm non-practicing Irish-Roman Catholic..


I seem to remember something about all Catholics being Christian, and not all Christians being Catholic. So my use of the word Christians would include Chatholics. And are saying you're not offended by the jokes, well good for you. If you're saying that you are, but you're not Christian... well you are. Unless my understanding is horribly wrong.


hehe... OK... I'll clarify...

I'm of Irish birth, to a Roman Catholic family (the proverbial Green). I wanted Jesus jokes so that I could one-up my mum this Easter, as she seems to be on a winning streak. I am not offended in any way by religious derision or praise, as I don't practise Catholicism, nor have I for many years...

Catholicism claimes to be the foremost religion as it pertains to Christ, as it originated in Italy (duh) around 300 years after Christ's death... so it can trace it's roots back the farthest I guess... Chrsitianity is simply the umbrella the encompasses most religions that became offshoots of Catholicism, or developed a new branch of it's own (Protestants, Luterans etc). that's why not every Christian is Catholic, but every Catholic is Christian... if someone says they're Christian, it's cuz they haven't made up their minds yet... :p

 

blakeatwork

Diamond Member
Jul 18, 2001
4,113
1
81
Originally posted by: Stark
i don't have a problem with jesus jokes, per se, just the small detail that they need to be offensive... hence intended to offend. And this passes as entertainment for Easter family dinner?

My grandma's Catholic... she'd kick my butt if I started telling priest/alter boy jokes on easter.

So would mine, bless her soul...

Now Baptist jokes... :p In my dear grandmum's words... "Those damn yahoos wouldn't know what a church was if it bit'em in the apples" :D


 

Crimzon

Senior member
Nov 6, 2002
873
0
0
Originally posted by: blakeatwork
Originally posted by: Crimzon
Originally posted by: blakeatwork
Originally posted by: Crimzon
Lighten up. Outta all the people I've met, Christians are usually the least forgiving when it comes to anything concerning their religion. Sheesh.


Nope... I'm non-practicing Irish-Roman Catholic..


I seem to remember something about all Catholics being Christian, and not all Christians being Catholic. So my use of the word Christians would include Chatholics. And are saying you're not offended by the jokes, well good for you. If you're saying that you are, but you're not Christian... well you are. Unless my understanding is horribly wrong.


hehe... OK... I'll clarify...

I'm of Irish birth, to a Roman Catholic family (the proverbial Green). I wanted Jesus jokes so that I could one-up my mum this Easter, as she seems to be on a winning streak. I am not offended in any way by religious derision or praise, as I don't practise Catholicism, nor have I for many years...

Catholicism claimes to be the foremost religion as it pertains to Christ, as it originated in Italy (duh) around 300 years after Christ's death... so it can trace it's roots back the farthest I guess... Chrsitianity is simply the umbrella the encompasses most religions that became offshoots of Catholicism, or developed a new branch of it's own (Protestants, Luterans etc). that's why not every Christian is Catholic, but every Catholic is Christian... if someone says they're Christian, it's cuz they haven't made up their minds yet... :p

*smack head* normally I pay attention to these things. You started this thread, of course you wouldn't be offended. Ha. My comment wasn't aimed at you at all, it was aimed at everyone trying to claim this thread deserves a ban, based on the fact it's making fun of their religion.

 

udonoogen

Diamond Member
Dec 28, 2001
3,243
0
76
Originally posted by: Brutuskend
Originally posted by: Marshallj
People need to lighten up.

Christians are the least forgiving people, and the most insecure people.

They want people to respect their religion, but they don't have much tolerance for other religions. In fact, many Christians believe that people of other religions will go to hell, the worst place possible.

Not to mention some believe that if your even of a differant denomination, you'll go to hell!
rolleye.gif

i would not like to start another flame war. however i just want to say that i've found atot to be a great place to hang out when i dont study. the only exception is when it comes to religious threads pertaining to Christianity, which ive generally stayed away from (i dont know why i clicked this ... curiosity i suppose). it saddens me because ATOT is great and i love it here. don't hate ya'llz. making comments like the one above adds nothing to the community except more contempt for christianity. if you don't like christianity that's fine. i hope someone really talks to you one day so you get the story straight. but c'mon ... don't hate. :)