How do I approach my wife about her eating habits?

[aidanjm]

Originally posted by: Vic

Originally posted by: JulesMaximus

Originally posted by: RyanSengara

Originally posted by: aidanjm
maybe she was one of those women who never enjoyed sex to begin with, and she subconsciously realizes that the fatter she is, the less sex she will have to have..? just a thought.

I think.. you're an ass.

You're gay, you wouldn't have any idea what enjoyable heterosexual sex is like, so you can't pass comment here.

I think.. you're a douchebag.

You're a dumbass, you are completely self absorbed and wouldn't have any idea what a normal relationship is like, so you can't pass comment here.

Why are you defending aidanjm? His comments were not only completely wrong (how many of his girlfriends are post-partum? :roll: ), but they're almost ban-worthy for their level of trollishness IMO.
A woman's sexual mood is highly dependent upon her hormonal make-up. Claiming otherwise, as aidanjm implied, would be no different from a scientific perspective than saying that homosexuality is just an lifestyle choice. Obviously that's wrong, but that didn't stop aidanjm from trollling this thread now did it?
And at the current time, the OP's wife seems to have some hormonal imbalances that likely need treatment. In other words, she needs help, not an asshole that has frequently spouted anti-heterosexual hate speech here (and in the mods' defense, has the record of frequent vacations to go with that).

Some of you people are really disgusting BTW. You pretend you care about people when in fact you only care about causes. Here's a hint: causes ain't people.

actually, the idea that excess weight can be a defence mechanism for some women - a protection from the male gaze and the need to have to deal with intimacy - is hardly a controversial one. this concept has been discussed endlessly on Donahue, Sally Jessie, Oprah etc.

in fact, there are dozens of possible reasons behind the OP's wife's behaviors. Not all of those reasons are complicated or involve undesirable hormonal imbalances. For example she may simply be making the most of an opportunity to pig out.

 

[aidanjm]

this thread also raises the issue of openness and honestly in a relationship. if you can't say to your partner that you no longer find them attractive (because they have blown up like a balloon), then I think that is more than a bit disturbing.

 

[Vic]

Originally posted by: aidanjm

Originally posted by: Vic

Originally posted by: JulesMaximus

Originally posted by: RyanSengara

Originally posted by: aidanjm
maybe she was one of those women who never enjoyed sex to begin with, and she subconsciously realizes that the fatter she is, the less sex she will have to have..? just a thought.

I think.. you're an ass.

You're gay, you wouldn't have any idea what enjoyable heterosexual sex is like, so you can't pass comment here.

I think.. you're a douchebag.

You're a dumbass, you are completely self absorbed and wouldn't have any idea what a normal relationship is like, so you can't pass comment here.

Why are you defending aidanjm? His comments were not only completely wrong (how many of his girlfriends are post-partum? :roll: ), but they're almost ban-worthy for their level of trollishness IMO.
A woman's sexual mood is highly dependent upon her hormonal make-up. Claiming otherwise, as aidanjm implied, would be no different from a scientific perspective than saying that homosexuality is just an lifestyle choice. Obviously that's wrong, but that didn't stop aidanjm from trollling this thread now did it?
And at the current time, the OP's wife seems to have some hormonal imbalances that likely need treatment. In other words, she needs help, not an asshole that has frequently spouted anti-heterosexual hate speech here (and in the mods' defense, has the record of frequent vacations to go with that).

Some of you people are really disgusting BTW. You pretend you care about people when in fact you only care about causes. Here's a hint: causes ain't people.

actually, the idea that excess weight can be a defence mechanism for some women - a protection from the male gaze and the need to have to deal with intimacy - is hardly a controversial one. this concept has been discussed endlessly on Donahue, Sally Jessie, Oprah etc.

in fact, there are dozens of possible reasons behind the OP's wife's behaviors. Not all of those reasons are complicated or involve undesirable hormonal imbalances. For example she may simply be making the most of an opportunity to pig out.

Are you seriously using Donahue, Sally, and Oprah as authorities here?

:roll:

 

[Tiamat]

The only thing I can think of is for you to make it a point that you are personally trying to be healthy, and perhaps she could help you obtain your goal by trying to also be healthy at the same time. I dunno, this is a long shot, you know how she deals with this stuff better than any of us.

 

[iamaelephant]

Originally posted by: aidanjm
actually, the idea that excess weight can be a defence mechanism for some women - a protection from the male gaze and the need to have to deal with intimacy - is hardly a controversial one. this concept has been discussed endlessly on Donahue, Sally Jessie, Oprah etc.

Well those are the usual medical journals I study....

 

[aidanjm]

Originally posted by: Vic

Originally posted by: aidanjm

Originally posted by: Vic

Originally posted by: JulesMaximus

Originally posted by: RyanSengara

Originally posted by: aidanjm
maybe she was one of those women who never enjoyed sex to begin with, and she subconsciously realizes that the fatter she is, the less sex she will have to have..? just a thought.

I think.. you're an ass.

You're gay, you wouldn't have any idea what enjoyable heterosexual sex is like, so you can't pass comment here.

I think.. you're a douchebag.

You're a dumbass, you are completely self absorbed and wouldn't have any idea what a normal relationship is like, so you can't pass comment here.

Why are you defending aidanjm? His comments were not only completely wrong (how many of his girlfriends are post-partum? :roll: ), but they're almost ban-worthy for their level of trollishness IMO.
A woman's sexual mood is highly dependent upon her hormonal make-up. Claiming otherwise, as aidanjm implied, would be no different from a scientific perspective than saying that homosexuality is just an lifestyle choice. Obviously that's wrong, but that didn't stop aidanjm from trollling this thread now did it?
And at the current time, the OP's wife seems to have some hormonal imbalances that likely need treatment. In other words, she needs help, not an asshole that has frequently spouted anti-heterosexual hate speech here (and in the mods' defense, has the record of frequent vacations to go with that).

Some of you people are really disgusting BTW. You pretend you care about people when in fact you only care about causes. Here's a hint: causes ain't people.

actually, the idea that excess weight can be a defence mechanism for some women - a protection from the male gaze and the need to have to deal with intimacy - is hardly a controversial one. this concept has been discussed endlessly on Donahue, Sally Jessie, Oprah etc.

in fact, there are dozens of possible reasons behind the OP's wife's behaviors. Not all of those reasons are complicated or involve undesirable hormonal imbalances. For example she may simply be making the most of an opportunity to pig out.

Are you seriously using Donahue, Sally, and Oprah as authorities here?

:roll:

Oprah has women on her show describing their experiences dealing with weight issues, abuse, self esteem, marital issues, etc. She also has therapists, psychologists, psychiatrists providing a professional perspective.

thousands of earnest women have sat on Oprah's couch and shared their story - are you seriously suggesting that their experiences and input are worthless?

 

[secretanchitman]

sit down with her, tell her that we need to have a talk, its nothing about us, im just concerned about your health/eating habits. whats wrong?

stuff like that...

 

[aidanjm]

Originally posted by: iamaelephant

Originally posted by: aidanjm
actually, the idea that excess weight can be a defence mechanism for some women - a protection from the male gaze and the need to have to deal with intimacy - is hardly a controversial one. this concept has been discussed endlessly on Donahue, Sally Jessie, Oprah etc.

Well those are the usual medical journals I study....

these shows are one way that ordinary women in our society can share information and experiences that are important to them. It's almost always men who dismiss these shows as worthless - which I think is very telling.

 

[Vic]

Umm... wow.

 

[RbSX]

Originally posted by: JulesMaximus

Originally posted by: RyanSengara

Originally posted by: aidanjm
maybe she was one of those women who never enjoyed sex to begin with, and she subconsciously realizes that the fatter she is, the less sex she will have to have..? just a thought.

I think.. you're an ass.

You're gay, you wouldn't have any idea what enjoyable heterosexual sex is like, so you can't pass comment here.

I think.. you're a douchebag.

You're a dumbass, you are completely self absorbed and wouldn't have any idea what a normal relationship is like, so you can't pass comment here.

I love you Jules, lets have a homosexual relationship and elope.

 

[compuwiz1]

Originally posted by: aidanjm

Originally posted by: iamaelephant

Originally posted by: aidanjm
actually, the idea that excess weight can be a defence mechanism for some women - a protection from the male gaze and the need to have to deal with intimacy - is hardly a controversial one. this concept has been discussed endlessly on Donahue, Sally Jessie, Oprah etc.

Well those are the usual medical journals I study....

these shows are one way that ordinary women in our society can share information and experiences that are important to them. It's almost always men who dismiss these shows as worthless - which I think is very telling.

Ordinary women like you?
Some gay men also think they are "one of the women". I worked with one, who was so much in tune with them, he would actually go in the ladies room, and lay on the couch in there, and converse with them, while they were taking a crap.

 

[6000SUX]

Tell her, "It's King Don or me. Make your choice!"

 

[rivan]

Originally posted by: iamaelephant
Maybe she is depressed? If so she should see a doctor. Is she showing any of the tell-tale signs (other than stuffing vast amounts of food down her gullet)? It's not selfish for you to want your wife to be healthy and attractive.

Also, chill out. She just popped a kid out.

 

[6000SUX]

Originally posted by: rivan

Originally posted by: iamaelephant
Maybe she is depressed? If so she should see a doctor. Is she showing any of the tell-tale signs (other than stuffing vast amounts of food down her gullet)? It's not selfish for you to want your wife to be healthy and attractive.

Also, chill out. She just popped a kid out.

I disagree. If, as the OP says, she is intentionally overeating and hence causing him to find her unattractive, she not only has personal issues that need to be addressed but is creating a relationship problem that needs to be addressed.

Having a kid does not mean one can't have an eating disorder or other problems.

 

[aidanjm]

Originally posted by: compuwiz1

Originally posted by: aidanjm

Originally posted by: iamaelephant

Originally posted by: aidanjm
actually, the idea that excess weight can be a defence mechanism for some women - a protection from the male gaze and the need to have to deal with intimacy - is hardly a controversial one. this concept has been discussed endlessly on Donahue, Sally Jessie, Oprah etc.

Well those are the usual medical journals I study....

these shows are one way that ordinary women in our society can share information and experiences that are important to them. It's almost always men who dismiss these shows as worthless - which I think is very telling.

Ordinary women like you?
Some gay men also think they are "one of the women". I worked with one, who was so much in tune with them, he would actually go in the ladies room, and lay on the couch in there, and converse with them, while they were taking a crap.

please try not to let your obsession with gay men drag this thread off topic.

 

[moshquerade]

Originally posted by: compuwiz1

Originally posted by: aidanjm

Originally posted by: iamaelephant

Originally posted by: aidanjm
actually, the idea that excess weight can be a defence mechanism for some women - a protection from the male gaze and the need to have to deal with intimacy - is hardly a controversial one. this concept has been discussed endlessly on Donahue, Sally Jessie, Oprah etc.

Well those are the usual medical journals I study....

these shows are one way that ordinary women in our society can share information and experiences that are important to them. It's almost always men who dismiss these shows as worthless - which I think is very telling.

Ordinary women like you?
Some gay men also think they are "one of the women". I worked with one, who was so much in tune with them, he would actually go in the ladies room, and lay on the couch in there, and converse with them, while they were taking a crap.

tmi :Q

 

[SaltBoy]

Geez, I go away for half a day and this thread almost turns into a gay-agenda thread.

aidanjm, I don't know you, but I do know you're not helping. Please go away.

 

[compuwiz1]

Originally posted by: moshquerade

Originally posted by: compuwiz1

Originally posted by: aidanjm

Originally posted by: iamaelephant

Originally posted by: aidanjm
actually, the idea that excess weight can be a defence mechanism for some women - a protection from the male gaze and the need to have to deal with intimacy - is hardly a controversial one. this concept has been discussed endlessly on Donahue, Sally Jessie, Oprah etc.

Well those are the usual medical journals I study....

these shows are one way that ordinary women in our society can share information and experiences that are important to them. It's almost always men who dismiss these shows as worthless - which I think is very telling.

Ordinary women like you?
Some gay men also think they are "one of the women". I worked with one, who was so much in tune with them, he would actually go in the ladies room, and lay on the couch in there, and converse with them, while they were taking a crap.

tmi :Q

Oh, POAD, you putty tat!

 

[f1sh3r]

buy a wii

get her up and playing some tennis.

WIIIIIIIIIIII!!!

 

[moshquerade]

Originally posted by: compuwiz1

Originally posted by: moshquerade

Originally posted by: compuwiz1

Originally posted by: aidanjm

Originally posted by: iamaelephant

Originally posted by: aidanjm
actually, the idea that excess weight can be a defence mechanism for some women - a protection from the male gaze and the need to have to deal with intimacy - is hardly a controversial one. this concept has been discussed endlessly on Donahue, Sally Jessie, Oprah etc.

Well those are the usual medical journals I study....

these shows are one way that ordinary women in our society can share information and experiences that are important to them. It's almost always men who dismiss these shows as worthless - which I think is very telling.

Ordinary women like you?
Some gay men also think they are "one of the women". I worked with one, who was so much in tune with them, he would actually go in the ladies room, and lay on the couch in there, and converse with them, while they were taking a crap.

tmi :Q

Oh, POAD, you putty tat!

POAD?

 

[James3shin]

"Hey <wifes name>, we need to talk. Are you feeling ok? You've been just <insert> and it's kind of concerning" It's your freaking wife, you should be able to talk to her about anything!

 

[moshquerade]

Originally posted by: James3shin
"Hey <wifes name>, we need to talk. Are you feeling ok? You've been just <insert> and it's kind of concerning" It's your freaking wife, you should be able to talk to her about anything!

common sense advice right there.

 

[3NF]

Your wife my just feel overwhelmed with the duties of being a new mother and breasfeeding. The last thing she'll want to hear is that there is yet another thing she needs to do (eat less, and work out). My wife went through a similar situation, but her anxiety manifested in different ways than eating too much. She didn't actually start working out again until 3 months later.

Give it time. I think the best thing you could do now is try to find ways to help her out.

 

[TanisHalfElven]

Originally posted by: mfs378
How about you choose an exercise activity that isn't normally associated with a standard exercise routine, like hiking or something. Go on the hike and see if you can use it as a jumping-off point to more exercise.

i agree. gt her to play some sport with out. try tennis or raquest ball. i'd advise racquetball since its extreamly easy to pick up and play. and a very very nice workout. and its really social too.

 

[ch33zw1z]

Saltboy: It's not selfish to care about someone. You are there to help her as she is for you. Let her know it's a problem, and try doing the grocery shopping and showing her good meals to make for herself. Remember though, caring for a new baby takes patience and lots of energy...sometimes it takes people a while to adjust to situations.