This is exactly why private companies should not be financing a foreign countries war. The US has a foreign military sales program that puts a layer between a foreign government and private companies so private companies don't have to get directly involved in geo-politics. SpaceX (Shotwell and Musk) should never have been put in this situation to begin with. Neither one should be playing at geo-politics. This is exactly why the US government has now stepped in and setup a contract and now the US government can make the decision as to where the Starlink terminals work. Do you not realize what you are saying? By asking SpaceX to takedown the geo-fencing for Crimea you are basically forcing private citizens to do geo-politics. It was stupid by Ukraine knowing their agreement with SpaceX to decide to then use Starlink in a critical military operation violating their agreement with SpaceX. Was anybody in Ukraine thinking that maybe before the operation they should talk to the US and get them to talk to SpaceX about modifying their agreement with SpaceX? No instead they waited until they lost contact with their drones which is so absolutely stupid.
Your initial point is excellent, but since SpaceX DOES in fact have exactly such a contract with the US military to provide these services (and has since at least June) on what basis does Elmo have the right to unilaterally interfere because of his feels? Our foreign policy and military services should NOT be run at the beck and call of a private citizen, no matter how wealthy or powerful.
IMO Musk has vastly overstepped his authority-and probably at the bid and calling of his Chinese masters, who he is very much beholden to at this point for the future viability of Tesla, his cash cow (up to recently at least). I don't know the terms of the contract between the US defense and SpaceX, but I hope the US JAG office is reviewing that contract. At a minimum Musk should be immediately barred from any control over the decision making process re Starlink and Ukraine immediately.
The US should play hardball with Musk immediately. If it takes suspending all of SpaceX's contracts with the US and permanently barring it from further contracts with the US, so be it. This behavior should not be tolerated at all.