Does your wife work?

[PingSpike]

Its tough. Housing is expensive around here, and bearing some unforeseen super job its going to likely take dual income for us to afford a decent house. (I want to know where that guy who makes 95k a year, and has over 2000 posts on here after 2 months works...and if they are hiring)

I don't get to wrapped up in the consumerism that I think ruins most people...I buy cheap cars, get stuff on sale and save my extra funds. I blow a little money on PC parts sometimes...but I need a hobby.

I turned out alright because my parents own their own business and pretty much just brought me to work every day. I have no idea what I'm going to do when I have kids...it costs so much to live around here, but I'm not putting them in daycare so they can turn out like all those twerps I went to school with.

And people say they shift schedules so the wife gets them on the weekend while you're at work, and you watch them during the week while she works. (Just an example I remember, not to single anyone out really.) My question is...when do you spend time with your wife? I don't even have kids and it seems like I don't have enough time to spend with my girl.

 

[oboeguy]

Originally posted by: NuclearNed
I married the woman I love. She also happens to work.

 

[purbeast0]

Originally posted by: PingSpike
Its tough. Housing is expensive around here, and bearing some unforeseen super job its going to likely take dual income for us to afford a decent house. (I want to know where that guy who makes 95k a year, and has over 2000 posts on here after 2 months works...and if they are hiring)

I would like to know who that guy is too cause I am about to graduate and job hunting 🙂

 

[DT4K]

Originally posted by: MrsSkoorb
I am a wife and I work. I am off on leave right now due to issues with this pregnancy...first child due in August. Once she is born, do I plan on staying home? YES. For 6 months or so to make sure she gets all the breastmilk and me that she can get. THEN I will return to work, probably part time at first, and continue to work...since I am a nurse, I will probably do a more flexi scheduling so that Skoorb and I don't have to put her in daycare and we can spend the most time with her as possible. 🙂

Everyone thinks differently on this issue of stay at home moms and daycare! Be respectful of different opinions people!

Yes, everyone thinks differently. I am not going to say that every family with kids and two working parents is evil. There are obviously differing degrees. Some parents are able to be flexible enough that they can both work while really minimizing the amount of time a child has been in daycare. I don't think that having a kid go to daycare for a few hours a day or a few days a week is the worst thing in the world.

But that is a lot different than putting a baby in daycare 5 days a week for 10-12 hours a day from the time he/she is 6 weeks old. I cannot be respectful of that opinion. It is nothing but selfish and greedy and clearly shows that the child is NOT the highest priority. And if your own children are not your highest priority, then you should not be having children. Why have them if you are not going to be the one raising them?

We now have 4 kids, aged 2 months - 9 years.
None of them have ever been in daycare.
My wife has stayed home with all of them.
Yes, we have sacrificed having some material things. But we thought about what would be more important to our children. In the long run, being raised by parents is far more important than what kind of car they ride in and how big their house is.

Not having kids would be different of course. In that case, I would agree that a wife staying home wouldn't really be fair to the working partner.

But I'm sure we can all agree to pray that Tec NEVER has kids.

 

[StageLeft]

Don't forget that daycare is not necessarily the only option. We will, when we're both working, either have a nanny come over, or cheaper yet, send the baby to a nanny - ie, somebody who takes care of a few kids in their own home. The later option is cheaper, but provides for less care (though honestly a mother with three kids is doing the same). The social environment of being around a couple of other kids of the same age could be positive. We figure that if we have a nanny come over it will essentially cut mrsskoorb's pay in half to cover it, but if we send her to somebody else's house it wouldn't do as much. Her being a nurse and working less of a 9-5 schedule, like I do, offers benefits in this regard too.

My parents always worked and we always had baby sitters and it worked out ok 🙂

 

[Spamela]

Mrs. Spamela works part-time because she likes it, but
we've had most of our years together with only my income.

 

[StageLeft]

Originally posted by: Spamela
Mrs. Spamela works part-time because she likes it, but
we've had most of our years together with only my income.

You guys used a gym for day care didn't you? 😉

 

[eakers]

Originally posted by: Skoorb
Don't forget that daycare is not necessarily the only option. We will, when we're both working, either have a nanny come over, or cheaper yet, send the baby to a nanny - ie, somebody who takes care of a few kids in their own home.

after the hell i suffered in private daycare there is no way in hell my kids are going to someone elses home and there is noway they are coming to mine.

 

[Ameesh]

Originally posted by: purbeast0

Originally posted by: PingSpike
Its tough. Housing is expensive around here, and bearing some unforeseen super job its going to likely take dual income for us to afford a decent house. (I want to know where that guy who makes 95k a year, and has over 2000 posts on here after 2 months works...and if they are hiring)

I would like to know who that guy is too cause I am about to graduate and job hunting 🙂

😱

 

[Spamela]

Originally posted by: Skoorb

Originally posted by: Spamela
Mrs. Spamela works part-time because she likes it, but
we've had most of our years together with only my income.

You guys used a gym for day care didn't you? 😉

i'd like to say we met at a gym, but in reality she hates to perspire.

 

[StageLeft]

Originally posted by: eakers

Originally posted by: Skoorb
Don't forget that daycare is not necessarily the only option. We will, when we're both working, either have a nanny come over, or cheaper yet, send the baby to a nanny - ie, somebody who takes care of a few kids in their own home.

after the hell i suffered in private daycare there is no way in hell my kids are going to someone elses home and there is noway they are coming to mine.

Your bad experience isn't indicative of the services you'll get with a well-chosen Nanny.

 

[freegeeks]

Originally posted by: Fausto

Originally posted by: tec699
Wow..

You guys are still hung up on this thread? I was just out jogging and enjoying life. Get over it guys and move on!

Jeses Fausto are you still on-line? How much is Anandtech paying you?

😀

Actually, the huge irony is that people like you who partied their asses off and made a career of drunken hookups are why I have a job.

My current place of employment.

I know the sores and painful discharge are tough to deal with, but just think how you're helping provide for my family in your own small way. 😀

PS- that was a long time to be gone to only run two miles. I thought you were in shape?

are you working in the - "Syphilis and Chlamydia" - departement


😀

 

[Fausto]

Originally posted by: freegeeks

Originally posted by: Fausto

Originally posted by: tec699
Wow..

You guys are still hung up on this thread? I was just out jogging and enjoying life. Get over it guys and move on!

Jeses Fausto are you still on-line? How much is Anandtech paying you?

😀

Actually, the huge irony is that people like you who partied their asses off and made a career of drunken hookups are why I have a job.

My current place of employment.

I know the sores and painful discharge are tough to deal with, but just think how you're helping provide for my family in your own small way. 😀

PS- that was a long time to be gone to only run two miles. I thought you were in shape?

are you working in the - "Syphilis and Chlamydia" - departement


😀

Gonorrhea, actually. I just wanted the OP to know someone was looking out for him and his various "passengers". 😛

 

[EmperorIQ]

Originally posted by: Lola
thats hard to say... being a female, i dont know what i would do, especially if children came into the picture. both my FI and i really like "things" so i am sure we would both work if we didnt have any children.

IF there were kids, if at all possible, i would like to stay with them until they were in school. i ahve seen too many children get dumped in daycare. i want to be the one raising our kids, not some strangers.

about the whole day care thing. children don't grow up different when compared with day care or their own biological parents rasing them. All that matters is that they get human interaction. Just make sure the day care center is a good one, so you should be willing to fork out the money for a good one.

As for me and the whole wife thing. I really wouldn't mind what my wife does as long as we can make it through. Also, i wouldn't want my wife to pay for half of everything, that just means one of two things

1) she's just paying for half so she won't disappoint me
2) she will control my spending

 

[MomAndSkoorbaby]

Originally posted by: Skoorb

Originally posted by: eakers

Originally posted by: Skoorb
Don't forget that daycare is not necessarily the only option. We will, when we're both working, either have a nanny come over, or cheaper yet, send the baby to a nanny - ie, somebody who takes care of a few kids in their own home.

after the hell i suffered in private daycare there is no way in hell my kids are going to someone elses home and there is noway they are coming to mine.

Your bad experience isn't indicative of the services you'll get with a well-chosen Nanny.

I had a Nanny come in to look after me when I was little...funny thing is, I seem to mainly remember activities with my parents more! She was awesome though...

 

[djheater]

I haven't read the whole thread, but OP sucks major a$$.

 

[Ogg]

Originally posted by: EmperorIQ


about the whole day care thing. children don't grow up different when compared with day care or their own biological parents rasing them. All that matters is that they get human interaction. Just make sure the day care center is a good one, so you should be willing to fork out the money for a good one.

Youre right thats the problem.........in many "daycares" the kids dont get picked up/held/loved so they get no interaction all day while mom and dad make the bones!

Its very important to investigate you childs daycare/nanny/school thoroughly. Pop in for suprise visits before you sign up and after!


:beer:'s on me kids 😀

 

[desy]

My wife belonged to a parent group of 12 mothers and their children. My wife and one other were stay at homes the others put their kids in daycare.
My boy was the first to crawl, to walk, to talk, to use the potty, he just went in for a medical and a lot of the nurses thought he was 5 instead of 3 by the conversations he can carry.

I'd love to claim superior genetics but I think the care and attention he gets full time from my wife allows him to develop faster and its not like she pushes him, he just gets so much more individual instruction. Myself on the other hand was 1 1/2 before I could walk, at two could say about 4 words.
I graduated with honours from high school so I wasn't dumb, and I guess I eventually caught up.
Even so I had shyness and confidence issues to get over well into my 20's.

Its why we chose to have her stay home they say 70-80% of a childs personality is built by age 5
So who do you want to have that kind of influence? you or their nanny?

 

[DT4K]

Originally posted by: EmperorIQ

Originally posted by: Lola
thats hard to say... being a female, i dont know what i would do, especially if children came into the picture. both my FI and i really like "things" so i am sure we would both work if we didnt have any children.

IF there were kids, if at all possible, i would like to stay with them until they were in school. i ahve seen too many children get dumped in daycare. i want to be the one raising our kids, not some strangers.

about the whole day care thing. children don't grow up different when compared with day care or their own biological parents rasing them. All that matters is that they get human interaction. Just make sure the day care center is a good one, so you should be willing to fork out the money for a good one.

As for me and the whole wife thing. I really wouldn't mind what my wife does as long as we can make it through. Also, i wouldn't want my wife to pay for half of everything, that just means one of two things

1) she's just paying for half so she won't disappoint me
2) she will control my spending

You are very wrong. Of course they grow up differnet. Do you honestly think a child can get the same care from a stranger making minimum wage at a daycare center? Even a nanny, no matter how caring she is, cannot compare to a parent.

Make a list of the kids in a Kindergarten class who cause the most trouble. Nine times out of ten, they will be the daycare kids.

 

[Geekbabe]

Originally posted by: Ameesh

Originally posted by: rh71

Originally posted by: Ameesh

Originally posted by: Azraele
If you base your marriage on your potential wife's income, you need to re-evaluate marriage.

most women do this all the time, why should it be different for men?

Good one!

its totally true though, how many women do you know that wouldnt even consider how much a man makes before she marries him.

I've never based my relationship choices on how much money my parter makes/could make.One thing I've noticed about money is that one's lifestyle expands or contracts quite readily around whatever the budget is,whenever I have a few extra bucks I can always count upon a bill or sudden need appearing to use it up,it never fails,it's like a life constant🙂

 

[Armitage]

Originally posted by: Shanti

Originally posted by: EmperorIQ

Originally posted by: Lola
thats hard to say... being a female, i dont know what i would do, especially if children came into the picture. both my FI and i really like "things" so i am sure we would both work if we didnt have any children.

IF there were kids, if at all possible, i would like to stay with them until they were in school. i ahve seen too many children get dumped in daycare. i want to be the one raising our kids, not some strangers.

about the whole day care thing. children don't grow up different when compared with day care or their own biological parents rasing them. All that matters is that they get human interaction. Just make sure the day care center is a good one, so you should be willing to fork out the money for a good one.

As for me and the whole wife thing. I really wouldn't mind what my wife does as long as we can make it through. Also, i wouldn't want my wife to pay for half of everything, that just means one of two things

1) she's just paying for half so she won't disappoint me
2) she will control my spending

You are very wrong. Of course they grow up differnet. Do you honestly think a child can get the same care from a stranger making minimum wage at a daycare center? Even a nanny, no matter how caring she is, cannot compare to a parent.

Make a list of the kids in a Kindergarten class who cause the most trouble. Nine times out of ten, they will be the daycare kids.

And did you know that 95% of all statistics posted on online forums are pulled out of thin air?

Actually, from a friend who is a kindergarten teacher, the kids that tend to make the most trouble are only-children from stay-at-home-mom homes. Lack of socialization skills with other children. We had this debate a few months ago.

Of course, this is the next best thing to random statistics. "My cousin's father's brother's son said ...."

 

[desy]

Yup we also make the effort to socialize him its why he does go to a nanny once a week with other kids and playdates with other kids and parents.
Only children may be more spoiled its true, but they aren't unhappy kids either from what I've read they just have a different kind of life

 

[DT4K]

Kids who cause trouble in school generally do it to get attention.
Kids who's parents are too busy with work to spend much time with them end up desperate for attention.
No it's not scientific. I have only anectdotal evidence. But it is very true in the classrooms that my kids have been in.

 

[tec699]

The reality is in NJ both parents work. That's just the way it is. Maybe it's greed or maybe were just so damn materialistic? In NJ anyway, everyone wants that $400,000 Mc Mansion, 2 Suv's with the sports car, pool or sauna in the back yard, etc. It seems that people don't want to put forth the sacrifice that their parents had to endure 20 years ago. Living the lifestyle that I just described is very doable when both parents work. If the husband makes $70,000 and the wife makes $60,000 together that's an awfully lot of money and you can live a very nice lifestyle.

Has anyone been house hunting in NJ lately? It's ridiculous. I don't know too many families that can afford the $350,000 homes on the husband?s income. It's just not doable for most people, so that's why both parents work.

 

[desy]

OK in the golden era like the 50's
They had one worker but the mortgage on the house took forever, they lived in much smaller homes and had one car and one TV worked longer hours to get it.
My dad said he used to have a 44 hr work week and 'had to' work Saturdays half days no choice.
But statistically we work longer and harder as a society than we did back then cause we only implemented half the work force. Its why we have SUV's and pools now cause we have had a productivey boom from women in the laor force.
You are right when you say 'want' cause thats what it is wants not needs.
If you have kids what they need is love and your time, if I ask my boy if he wanted a TV for his room or to go to park with me he's gonna choose the park. You don't have to lower your expectations just be prepared to settle a little for a short term while you have kids.
You can choose not to have kids and live the materalistic dream but since having mine I would think that lifestyle would be empty and unfulfilling in the long run.