Does your wife work?

[Shockwave]

You can tell people who've never had to "play mom" before.
Trust me on this my friend, I would take 40 hour work weeks ANYDAY over the "housewife" roll. I love my kids, but being a stay at home parent is far far harder then a job.

As such, my wife makes her own decisions. She chooses a part time job. Fine by me. Theres more to life then where I live and what I drive.

 

[psiu]

Yes my wife supports the household. Since she has a full time job and I'm unemployed and about to go back to school.

 

[Red]

Originally posted by: tec699

Originally posted by: minendo

Do you guys feel the same or would you rather have mom that sits home and cleans.

Personally, I feel that she can make that choice herself.

True, but I don't care what you guys say... money is an issue in our society. It can get awefully expensive to live a nice life. I'm not suggesting that we all buy $150,000 sports cars, but when homes in NJ go on sale for an average price of $250,000 an higher then you can see why both parents need to work.

You have the "keeping up with the Jones" syndrome. You think a nice life requires nice material items. I love my fiancee and we like nice things as well, but it's more important for us (once we have kids) that she takes care of them, rather than a daycare. Whatever makes her happy.

However, interpersonal comm. has taught there are 5 "maintenance" steps required for a marriage to last: Positivity, Openness, social networks, Assurances, and similar relationship responsibilities. That means that I won't mind going to work to support my family as long as the house is spotless when I come home and dinner is on the table and she has the groceries stocked =) And my car waxed.... and the lawn mowed, lol.

 

[PlatinumGold]

Originally posted by: Shockwave
You can tell people who've never had to "play mom" before.
Trust me on this my friend, I would take 40 hour work weeks ANYDAY over the "housewife" roll. I love my kids, but being a stay at home parent is far far harder then a job.

agreed. my wife stays home with our three kids. i go to work, i think i have it easier.

besides, if we put all 3 kids in daycare in order for her to work, there wouldn't be that much left over. do you guys have any idea how much daycare is?

 

[tec699]

Originally posted by: Fausto

Originally posted by: tec699

Originally posted by: minendo

Originally posted by: Fausto
Are you trolling, or are you really this stupid?

No way he is trolling. He parties a lot and has sex with lots of women. Text

yawn... jealous? Admit it.

😀

Pffffft. Yeah. You hit the nail on the head there. :roll:

Trust me, you're either never going to get married or your marriage will be utter sh*t if you revolve everything around the income. I can't believe you're 34 and have such an shallow outlook, but then this is ATOT.

Eh, I just asked a question. If you don't like the thread then why respond? Again, my life doesn't or has never revolved around me sitting in my room posting on an internet forum.

I feel sorry for ya. Ah well.. It's a beautiful day and I'm going for my quick 2 mile run.

 

[Kenazo]

my wife works, I don't. 🙂 She's paying my way through school right now, so hopefully that'll change in the next year.

 

[Shockwave]

Originally posted by: PlatinumGold

Originally posted by: Shockwave
You can tell people who've never had to "play mom" before.
Trust me on this my friend, I would take 40 hour work weeks ANYDAY over the "housewife" roll. I love my kids, but being a stay at home parent is far far harder then a job.

agreed. my wife stays home with our three kids. i go to work, i think i have it easier.

besides, if we put all 3 kids in daycare in order for her to work, there wouldn't be that much left over. do you guys have any idea how much daycare is?

Between 100 and 150 per week per kid. More for infants. You can EASILY blow away a good paycheck on daycare.
I have 3 also. In all seriousness, my wife cant find a job that pays well enoughg to cover daycare. In fact, MY paycheck would be almost completely eaten up by daycare and I make pretty damned good money. You could be lookin at 3 to 400 PER WEEK for 3 kids in daycare. Thats 600 to 800 a paycheck.

 

[Jzero]

Originally posted by: tec699
It's a beautiful day and I'm going for my quick 2 mile run.

Don't strain yourself!

😀


For me, ONE OF US is going to stay home with the kids until they are old enough to handle being home alone for a few hours between getting home from school and us getting home from work.

I don't care if it's me or her. It will probably be whoever has the lower-paying job, which will more than likely be my fiancee (I have a Comp Sci education and work in Info Security. She has a Social Studies/Secondary Ed education).

 

[Fausto]

Originally posted by: tec699

Originally posted by: Fausto

Originally posted by: minendo

Originally posted by: Fausto
Are you trolling, or are you really this stupid?

No way he is trolling. He parties a lot and has sex with lots of women. Text

He's 34 and this is how he thinks things have to be with his future spouse? I guessed he was maybe 20 or so from the tone of the first post.

Must suck to be a nerd. I've probably done more in my short life then you have ever dreamed about. And how old are you? 22? 23? You should be out exercising or whatever.. but I understand. You life consist of the Anandtech forums and that's about it.

pretty sad.

Hehe....how very, very wrong you are. 😀

 

[tec699]

I'll finally say this. Yes I'm 34 yrs old but I look like I'm in my mid to late 20's. When I tell people that I'm 34 they are very shocked, so I must be doing something right.

Also, I've been in 3 long committeed relationships. My 5 year realtionship was close to marriage but it didn't pan out. That's life though. Maybe if some of you people actually lived and got out and interacted with other people you might understand. But I understand. Sitting at your computers and posting on the net all day must be very depressing.

*This isn't directed at everyone.

 

[Shockwave]

Originally posted by: tec699

Originally posted by: Fausto

Originally posted by: minendo

Originally posted by: Fausto
Are you trolling, or are you really this stupid?

No way he is trolling. He parties a lot and has sex with lots of women. Text

He's 34 and this is how he thinks things have to be with his future spouse? I guessed he was maybe 20 or so from the tone of the first post.

Must suck to be a nerd. I've probably done more in my short life then you have ever dreamed about. And how old are you? 22? 23? You should be out exercising or whatever.. but I understand. You life consist of the Anandtech forums and that's about it.

pretty sad.

I'll take that Pepsi Challenge.
How old and how many times have you been out of State? Out of country? How much of the world have you seen? Whats your favorite State? Whats the best vacation you can remember?

 

[tec699]

Well guys this thread is dead.

bye all. 🙁

 

[minendo]

Originally posted by: tec699
I'll finally say this. Yes I'm 34 yrs old but I look like I'm in my mid to late 20's. When I tell people that I'm 34 they are very shocked, so I must be doing something right.

Also, I've been in 3 long committeed relationships. My 5 year realtionship was close to marriage but it didn't pan out. That's life though. Maybe if some of you people actually lived and got out and interacted with other people you might understand. But I understand. Sitting at your computers and posting on the net all day must be very depressing.

*This isn't directed at everyone.

So you consider three long relationship failures, being supported by your parents, and attending college at 34 living?

 

[Fausto]

Originally posted by: tec699
Well guys this thread is dead.

bye all. 🙁

No wait! Come back and tell us all how cool your life has been so we'll be even more jealous!!

 

[slag]

Originally posted by: minendo

Originally posted by: tec699
but when homes in NJ go on sale for an average price of $250,000 an higher then you can see why both parents need to work.

I disagree. I was born and raised in northern NJ and my mom did not work a day after I was born. When I was born my dad was working fulltime during the day and attending night school. It is possible to make it, but it requires many sacrifices.

And with that schedule, he was never around to do "DAD" things with you. My father was in a similar position to yours. He left the house at 5 am to drive to work and then got home at 7:00 from work. We didn't see him very much during the week and on the weekends he had to fix cars, repair work on the house, etc.

I swore to my wife when I got married I would not be that way--that I would be around with/for my children. I'm just about ready to quit my current job because they want us to work 44 hours a week salaried, plus handle pager responsibilities that keep us up a lot in the middle of the night. Thats no way to live. As it is, I leave the house at 6:30 in the morning and dont get home until 5:30 that night. IMHO, that does not leave enough time during the week to live, let alone get stuff done around the house and spend time with kids/wife, pets, etc.

 

[erikistired]

Originally posted by: tec699

Originally posted by: Lola
thats hard to say... being a female, i dont know what i would do, especially if children came into the picture. both my FI and i really like "things" so i am sure we would both work if we didnt have any children.

IF there were kids, if at all possible, i would like to stay with them until they were in school. i ahve seen too many children get dumped in daycare. i want to be the one raising our kids, not some strangers.

Yea.. in NJ there are an awefully lot of parents that dump their children in day care. Parents don't have a choice though... House and car payments, clothes, etc.. They all take valuable resources.

parents DO have a choice. my wife works and i stay home and take care of our child and i'll continue to do so when the 2nd is born this fall. we decided that having our child at home with one of us was more important than not having a few extra toys. we have a nice house, we both have cars and we're both clothed. i work on the weekends to pay for my hobbies so it doesn't drain from the main expense account. parents that dump their kids in daycare do it for their own reasons, not because they are forced too. it's a shame that people are that selfish, but look at society and it's hard to really be surprised.

 

[minendo]

And with that schedule, he was never around to do "DAD" things with you. My father was in a similar position to yours. He left the house at 5 am to drive to work and then got home at 7:00 from work. We didn't see him very much during the week and on the weekends he had to fix cars, repair work on the house, etc.

He was done with his masters by the time I was 2 years old. Sure I didn't see him much before that, but I was also not old enough to process it.

Sure hasn't effected our relationship at all. Hell, it actually helped me understand the value of smart financial planning and hard work. For that, I thank my dad.

 

[erikistired]

Originally posted by: slag

Originally posted by: minendo

Originally posted by: tec699
but when homes in NJ go on sale for an average price of $250,000 an higher then you can see why both parents need to work.

I disagree. I was born and raised in northern NJ and my mom did not work a day after I was born. When I was born my dad was working fulltime during the day and attending night school. It is possible to make it, but it requires many sacrifices.

And with that schedule, he was never around to do "DAD" things with you. My father was in a similar position to yours. He left the house at 5 am to drive to work and then got home at 7:00 from work. We didn't see him very much during the week and on the weekends he had to fix cars, repair work on the house, etc.

I swore to my wife when I got married I would not be that way--that I would be around with/for my children. I'm just about ready to quit my current job because they want us to work 44 hours a week salaried, plus handle pager responsibilities that keep us up a lot in the middle of the night. Thats no way to live. As it is, I leave the house at 6:30 in the morning and dont get home until 5:30 that night. IMHO, that does not leave enough time during the week to live, let alone get stuff done around the house and spend time with kids/wife, pets, etc.

we've worked our schedules out so our daughter can see us both. she mostly sees me during the week, since i'm at home, but on the weekends i'm off working or whatever, and the baby is with her doing stuff (gymboree or visiting the grandparents and stuff).

 

[slag]

Originally posted by: psiu
Yes my wife supports the household. Since she has a full time job and I'm unemployed and about to go back to school.

What "household" is there to support? If both of you are working and your children, if any, are at an exceptional daycare or school, then what "support" is needed at home?

😕

 

[StageLeft]

I'm not saying I wouldn't marry a woman who didn't work, and I PROBABLY wouldn't divorce my wife if she decided to stay at home all day, but a woman not being professional would definitely influence my intial interest in her. Having to be the sole bread winner is stressful for one thing, but also limits options. I know that in my case, for instance, if I lose my job, then mrsskoorb can pull up a lot of the slack. If however I'm making $80k/year (which I"m not, but let's say), and my wife only makes $11/hour, well then if I lose my job we're fairly screwed for income.

Plus in many cases, though it depends on the woman, it's better for their mental health if they have something to do all day besides spending time with toddlers. I know of only two stay at home moms personally and both of them lead fairly boring depressing lives. When all you hang out with is 2 year olds it's bound to affect you.

So, you're saying, cleaning house, making food, and raising kids (taking them to soccer practice, to the Dr., etc.) is not work?

Ah, it's kind of work, but it's mainly a big conspiracy by women who pretend that they work harder than their husband doing all that crap. I mean seriously there are so many millions of professional women who work a full time job AND do all that stuff, that I just can't stomach a woman who has one kid and stays home and claims that she's overworked. Get real! And especially when the kids are in school. What's the woman do now? Gets up, gets them breakfast, fed,clothed, brings them to school. Then comes home and probably take a nap. Oh, look it's lunch time - I think I'll call my friend and meet up for lunch. Well, now it's 1:00 I should probably vacuum and clean the kicthen. Now it's 3:00 I'll pick the kids up from school and spend time with them the rest of the day. Hardly tiring, unless you've got chronic fatigue syndrome.

 

[blackdogdeek]

my wife doesn't work. she used to work in IT making around $95K but now she stays home with the little girl. our house cost $400k. we live on my income which is about as much as my wife's old income.

we are very, very happy.

 

[erikistired]

Originally posted by: Fausto

Originally posted by: tec699
Well guys this thread is dead.

bye all. 🙁

No wait! Come back and tell us all how cool your life has been so we'll be even more jealous!!

fausto go exercise! then you'll lead a happier life! or something. hrrrm. i'm gonna go teach my daughter to say 'tec699 is a punk'. ahhh the small pleasures in life.

 

[Ausm]

Originally posted by: tec699
I think that if I get married my wife is going to have to be a professional. I live in NJ so if I'd like to purchase a house worth $350,000 I'm going to need a wife that makes good money. My brother got married to a woman that works at a supermarket. How can she contribute income wise? He's happy so that's great, but I need a wife that's going to contribute at least half to what we have together. That is a new car(s), house, vacations, etc.. And this could only be obtained if she's a professional w/ a college degree.

Do you guys feel the same or would you rather have a wife that sits home and cleans. I say screw that... hire a maid for the weekends!!

I think that happiness is the main thing. I mean if I had a wife who worked at a supermarket and was a faithful wife I would be overjoyed. Very rarily does your life follow what you "want" it to be.

Sysadmin

 

[Shockwave]

Originally posted by: Skoorb
I'm not saying I wouldn't marry a woman who didn't work, and I PROBABLY wouldn't divorce my wife if she decided to stay at home all day, but a woman not being professional would definitely influence my intial interest in her. Having to be the sole bread winner is stressful for one thing, but also limits options. I know that in my case, for instance, if I lose my job, then mrsskoorb can pull up a lot of the slack. If however I'm making $80k/year (which I"m not, but let's say), and my wife only makes $11/hour, well then if I lose my job we're fairly screwed for income.

Plus in many cases, though it depends on the woman, it's better for their mental health if they have something to do all day besides spending time with toddlers. I know of only two stay at home moms personally and both of them lead fairly boring depressing lives. When all you hang out with is 2 year olds it's bound to affect you.

Agreed. Thats the main reason my wife got a job, living with kids was just making her more of a raving lunatic then she already was. Her sanity since getting a job has at least slid from "Holy fvck we're all gonna die" to "Look at the purple clouds!"
Which is a good thing.

 

[Fausto]

Originally posted by: fisher

Originally posted by: Fausto

Originally posted by: tec699
Well guys this thread is dead.

bye all. 🙁

No wait! Come back and tell us all how cool your life has been so we'll be even more jealous!!

fausto go exercise! then you'll lead a happier life! or something. hrrrm. i'm gonna go teach my daughter to say 'tec699 is a punk'. ahhh the small pleasures in life.

Does he really not know anything about me? God knows I never exercise. I'm like, the biggest couch potato here. 😛