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Do you believe its OK to spank your kids??

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Originally posted by: Fineghal
I would point out to the OP that the point of punishment is for the pain/negative to be connected to the action that caused it. Can a 15 month old child really do that?
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Some can, some can't. We've lightly popped our daughter's hand or leg when she was doing something with them she wasn't supposed to be doing (like reaching for knobs on the stove or kicking the screen of the car DVD player). She got the message.

 
Originally posted by: FireChicken
I dont think I will ever spank my child. Are there parents out there who have never spanked thier child and have them turn out to be well bahaved and not spoiled?
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Of course there are, but in my experience as a parent they are the exception to the rule ... there are also some kids that spanking has no effect with so theres really no easy answer to this question & you really need to decide on a case by case basis. I think that for most kids a spanking at the right time can provide a lesson that won't soon be forgotten because kids who are too young to understand what the real consequenses of running into the street for example, have no problem understanding that doing it will earn a smack on the behind. Of course I would never advocate spanking a 15 month old baby who will only understand the daddy or mommy hurt them & will learn nothing good from it ... I'd say that spanking is not effective as a rule below an age of 2.5 years or so depending on the child.


I havn't needed to spank my youger daughter at all for several years because she clearly understands right from wrong & what the consequenses can be as a result of a few well-timed applications of corporal punishment when she was younger. All it takes now is counting to three & the implied threat, although the good news is that the older she gets the easier it is to reason with her.
 
15 months is a little too young for any serious spanking, just a little swat on the behind is all thats needed at that age. As they get a little older, some more serious spanking may be required, depending on the infraction.

Ideally, if you've imparted your values to your child, spanking should become very very rare.
 
We have two girls, eldest nearly three. Both are very lively and totally magnetizing, more than their average peers as evidenced by the reactions they get from adults compared to how other kids are received. The eldest one has been swatted probably three times and more like a "she just hit her sister and is running off, but my hand moves faster than her butt" than a thought out "time for your spanking" thing. We always thought we could avoid spanking and we can. It's not modest to say, but we're very good parents. Our kids are very happy, very smart, very well adjusted, and full of spirit--and well disciplined. I have seen some other parents' kids who I am sure I'd take a paddle to for hours on end if I had to take care of them, just to reset them, but if a person starts at the beginning and earns the respect of their child and is consistent, I think most kids can grow up quite easily without ever being spanked.

And we're not push-over liberal parents. We do not negotiate with a toddler like some silly parents try and do. We explain why something is bad, but also respect her enough and her intelligence to know when she knows already that something is bad, in which case punishment comes swiftly and at this point punishment is pretty low-key: a trip to her room or the naughty corner.

We've also received enough bad advice from poor parents before us to know that most people are not terribly great parents and so their experiences and predictions about our kids are simply invalid. The older our daughters get, the LESS I think I will be inclined to spank. It becomes increasingly easy to explain things to them and their behavior and personality is such that it's simply not necessary.

While a person cannot explain much to a 15 month old, that 15 month old is also incapable of absorbing much discipline. Saying sternly "no" is about all we've bothered with our girls and it works sufficiently at that age. Spanking is ridiculous, a 15 month old can barely be trained and I feel sorry for kids who pitty their parents.

There is some luck to having good kids, but also some parenting. I think we got lucky but I know we've done the parenting right, which is more than I can say for a lot of parents I've met.

I'm sure the less spanking is used, the more effective it can be. Certainly if it's used every 6 months or a year on very special (i.e. very bad behavior) occasions, then it will have a far great imprinting than if it's used a few times/week.
 
I always make sure my daughter has at least 2 choices in a matter, then throw a swat on the butt in as a 3rd option in case she doesn't like the other options.
 
Every kid is different. Some kids respond to spanking, some kids it only seems to encourage them to be bad. Some parents may spank when it isn't prudent, but far be it for me to suggest that spanking should be banned outright, or considered "child abuse."

Spanking doesn't make you a bad parent. Not spanking doesn't make you a good parent. Knowing what works and knowing how to handle your child is what makes you a good parent.
 
As a parent and a professional educator, my experience is that corporal punishment has its place, but it is a marginal one.

An occasional spanking may be effective in some cases, but that's about it.
 
yes.

I was spanked as a kid, and I will spank my kids. My current girlfriend whom I plan to marry also agrees that it's the way we'll discipline our kids.
 
Originally posted by: Isla
As a parent and a professional educator, my experience is that corporal punishment has its place, but it is a marginal one.

An occasional spanking may be effective in some cases, but that's about it.
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I'm not a parent or a professional educator, but I did stay at a Holiday Inn Express last night. Kids now-a-days are weiners, and I believe it is because they are not spanked.
 
Originally posted by: tfinch2
Originally posted by: Isla
As a parent and a professional educator, my experience is that corporal punishment has its place, but it is a marginal one.

An occasional spanking may be effective in some cases, but that's about it.
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I'm not a parent or a professional educator, but I did stay at a Holiday Inn Express last night. Kids now-a-days are weiners, and I believe it is because they are not spanked.
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Well, just wait until you get to raise 3 of your own and have a class of 20 some odd 7 years olds every year. 😛

 
Originally posted by: Isla
Originally posted by: tfinch2
Originally posted by: Isla
As a parent and a professional educator, my experience is that corporal punishment has its place, but it is a marginal one.

An occasional spanking may be effective in some cases, but that's about it.
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I'm not a parent or a professional educator, but I did stay at a Holiday Inn Express last night. Kids now-a-days are weiners, and I believe it is because they are not spanked.
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Well, just wait until you get to raise 3 of your own and have a class of 20 some odd 7 years olds every year. 😛
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You didn't deny the fact that kids are weiners now. 😛
 
Originally posted by: tfinch2
Originally posted by: Isla
Originally posted by: tfinch2
Originally posted by: Isla
As a parent and a professional educator, my experience is that corporal punishment has its place, but it is a marginal one.

An occasional spanking may be effective in some cases, but that's about it.
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I'm not a parent or a professional educator, but I did stay at a Holiday Inn Express last night. Kids now-a-days are weiners, and I believe it is because they are not spanked.
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Well, just wait until you get to raise 3 of your own and have a class of 20 some odd 7 years olds every year. 😛
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You didn't deny the fact that kids are weiners now. 😛
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LOL, the parents of my students tell me they wish I could whack them like the nuns used to! 😀

I use a complex strategy to get my students and children to WANT to be good citizens. It works, but it is very tiring and takes a fairly long time to take effect.

I could probably work my magic faster with a swift flick of a ruler. 😉

 
Originally posted by: Gooberlx2
I voted Yes, but I need to qualify that. A good spank, as punishment for bad behavior, is a useful tool to make a kid understand right, wrong and consequences. But it shouldn't be used as some kind of arbitrary training method, and certainly not on such a young child as in the OP. Respect and fear are totally different things.
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Dunno bout that. I was scared to death of the principle paddleing me again, didnt do that no more, have a masive respect for that man also. Fear and respect are closly related!
 
I have a smart well mannered 17yo and I spanked him maybe twice in his entire life, and looking back on it I did it out of anger both times and it wasn't the right thing to do IMO. Showing disappointment is much more effective, all I've ever had to do is show my son "the look" and he would be torn up for hours or even days until I reinstated the approval and affection. I was raised much the same way my dad never spanked me, the worst he would do is turn his school ring around where the stone was in the palm and tap me on the head🙂 if I was acting up in public.

I have some neighbors that whip there kids daily, and those two are pure hellions. As soon as the parents are out of sight the little hell spawns start tearing shite up and generally reaking havoc on the neighborhood. I also have a good buddy that I went to school with that raised his two boys with the "spare the rod, spoil the child" mentality and used the belt on them regularly. His 16yo just got out of his first stint in juvie for getting caught with pot in school, and his 18yo is currently in county jail for the second time for stealing cars.


I agree all kids are different and what works with some doesn't work with others. But I will say if you have to spank your kids on any kind of a regular basis something is wrong and you should reaccess your methods. And spanking very young ones is just wrong, and is a sign that the parent is lazy and not willing to be as attentive as they should.
 
Originally posted by: HamburgerBoy
Yes, but you have to start at an early age.
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QFT, dunno why some parents wait until their kids are totally disfunctional before they start trying to teach them discipline.

At 18 months our daughter was able to handle "time outs" and it only took one spank the first time to teach her that she will stay there until released. For me, the hardest part of teaching discipline is to be stern without being harsh.
 
I'm not a parent (I'm only 16) and I think it's ok. What I learned over the years is you must have a fearful respect for you parents in order to EVER listen to ANYONE. I've seen kids who always get 'timeout' (the most worthless excuse of discipline) that are some of the most self-centered, disrespectful little brats you could imagine. Spanking, 'the belt', etc make kids listen. They must respect your authority before they'll ever regard authority.
EDIT: Oh yeah and I got the briar switch when I was a kid. Hurts like hell, but I'm a nice guy now so it worked out for the best. The switch was only for when I was really bad, but I pretty much always did something REALLY bad I.E. throwing baseballs and rocks at cars.
 
It's a fine line between FEAR and RESPECT. Kids need to respect the ****** out of you and if that takes a belt every now and then go for it. It will pay off with not having a worthless kid down the road 🙂
 
I always deserved it. I think I should have been smacked around some more, because wtf is keeping me from doing something bad if I get shoved into a corner to daydream for a little bit and just blurt out a phony apology?
 
Originally posted by: Sqube
Spanking and beating your child every time s/he isn't in lockstep with your expectations are two completely different things. A quick swipe after you tell a kid something several times is a spanking. Beating your kid because he wants candy? That's... just not in the same category. That's wrong.

Spanking isn't something that's done indiscriminately, but it isn't something that should be ignored out of hand. IMO, naturally.
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Small children don't listen to rational arguments... there are some training issues involved. The same as squirting a cat with a water gun when he/she does something bad. That's not to say that rational arguments are of no use--they're invaluable later, when one needs to create a firmer basis for belief than physical power. But, at least until a certain age, children need some forms of immediate negative reinforcement (i.e. spanking). That's not to say that people should beat their children. There's a big difference between spanking (physical displeasure) and beating (actual lasting pain, risking more serious harm).
 
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