Do you believe its OK to spank your kids??

[FireChicken]

My wife was telling me about a family she read about in another forum where the dad spanks his 15 mo old kid. He spanks his kid really often and now the kid behaves when the father is around. The mother told the father that thier kid only behaves because he is afraid of the father. The father tells the mother that this is good and thats the way things shoud be.

When I heard this, it broke my heart. I have a daughter that is almost 15 months old and to think of her being afraid of me makes me want to cry.

Is this OK to have our children be alittle afraid of us?

Can we raise our children with love and respect and have them listen to us with out having to spank them and have them fear us hurting them?

 

[FreshPrince]

yes

 

[cheesygoldfish]

Did your parents spank you? how did you feel?

 

[cheesygoldfish]

of course they can be a little afraid

 

[her209]

Spanking. I never got spanked. I got beaten with a stick!

 

[cheesygoldfish]

of course they can be a little afraid

 

[cheesygoldfish]

Originally posted by: her209
Spanking. I never got spanked. I got beat!

same here with a metal belt among other things

 

[Sqube]

Spanking and beating your child every time s/he isn't in lockstep with your expectations are two completely different things. A quick swipe after you tell a kid something several times is a spanking. Beating your kid because he wants candy? That's... just not in the same category. That's wrong.

Spanking isn't something that's done indiscriminately, but it isn't something that should be ignored out of hand. IMO, naturally.

 

[waggy]

sure. depends on the situation.

I have spanked my daughter maybe 4 times. twice for unning into the street. can't remember the other times.

 

[Alone]

No.

 

[cheesygoldfish]

only scared stupid pvssies dont spank their kids

 

[HeroOfPellinor]

When one of my kids hits the other one cause she took her toy, I hit her to enforce that fact that hitting is not correct behavior. I am absolutely not avoiding true discipline and instruction for the easy shortsighted answer.

 

[MX2]

I was spanked as a child, but I do not use it as a disciplinary measure for my kids.

 

[jjones]

grabs lawn chair, beer, porn mag and pretzels.

This space for rent

 

[JujuFish]

Of course.

 

[Chaotic42]

Yes. It has its place. Negative reinforcement is a good thing from time to time, because life has negatives. Since you can't reason with a little kid, the only way to give them negative reinforcement and have it stick is by spanking them.

Notice I said spank, not abuse.

 

[Alone]

Originally posted by: cheesygoldfish
only scared stupid pvssies dont spank their kids

You're a moron.

 

[HeroOfPellinor]

Originally posted by: Chaotic42
Yes. It has its place. Negative reinforcement is a good thing from time to time, because life has negatives. Since you can't reason with a little kid, the only way to give them negative reinforcement and have it stick is by spanking them.

Negative reinforcement !== Spanking

 

[hjo3]

Pff, my dad spanked me when I was a kid. It never made me afraid of him. But it did make me keenly aware of the consequences of bad behavior.

Immature people respond to disincentives (like spankings) much better than rewards. As they gain maturity, the motivation for their actions change and the disincentives become unnecessary.

 

[xanis]

Kids are pussies these days. I was smacked occasionally when I was a kid and I turned out alright, as I'm sure a lot of other people have.

 

[randomint]

Originally posted by: cheesygoldfish
only scared stupid pvssies dont spank their kids

:thumbsup:

part of the problem is that these kids nowadays are taught to call 9-1-1 anytime an angry adult gives them a look.

dad: come here you little rascal! i'm gonna give you the spanking of your lifetime!
son: hello operator?

*dad shits his pants*

 

[TheGizmo]

spanking... no... a not so hard smack to the face.. yes.. and not very often, the less often you do it, the more it means to them

 

[waggy]

Originally posted by: TheGizmo
spanking... no... a not so hard smack to the face.. yes.. and not very often, the less often you do it, the more it means to them

hmm personally i don't see a diffrence. spanking does not mean you are beating them. no diffrent then a smack to the face.

 

[Chaotic42]

Originally posted by: HeroOfPellinor

Negative reinforcement !== Spanking

Hmm, maybe I'm using the term incorrectly. If little Billy runs off into the street, for example, spanking him would show that running into the street carries a negative consequence (the spanking).

 

[djheater]

Is it OK? Yes. In certain circumstances a swat on the bottom is effective.

Most of the time though I get just as far or further with firm words. Follow through on your little threats and the nuclear option of spanking is not generally called for.

That being said 'disciplining' children under three is pretty pointless. They're little neanderthals, and all your complicated rules are pretty meaningless... Supervise, and distract, much healthier than screaming and beating for toddlers.