YAGT: Going after a girl with a bf? *UPDATE 4*

[Jpark]

You did the right thing OP (read the update)

 

[Hyperblaze]

Originally posted by: DearQT

Originally posted by: Hyperblaze

Originally posted by: DearQT

Originally posted by: Hyperblaze

Originally posted by: DearQT

Originally posted by: freedomsbeat212
Actually, i used to be very, very shy and now I hit on girls like a banshee... I also meet many, many girls.. I have crushes on.. Hmm.. 3? If that... I work with so many women and most of them (as in most people, male or female) bore the heck out of me. If I was shy I wouldn't have as many friends as I have. Though I am shy about some things - like dancing. I SUCK at dancing.

Darling, I don't believe that you're being honest here, but that's okay. I still admire your artistic talent. Maybe one day we'll see your name credited on a high budget movie, unless you don't wish to go that far.

Originally posted by: Hyperblaze

Originally posted by: DearQT
All right, I've just read your update. Well, suprise that she would come to you for a problem! :roll: It's obvious from your other posts that you're Mr. Sensitive and the type of guy girls fall back on for emotional support.

I'm sorry, but I don't believe you one bit that it was because you were trying to be a gentleman--in spite of a suppose chance to take advantage. I think it's clear and simple: You're shy and have security issues yourself. If she made a sexual move on you, you may turn it down, but not that easily either. She didn't make the move here. You're stilla nice guy for listening, anyway.

:roll:

do you like pushing his buttons?

Yes, I do! Got a problem with that? He's my man! LOL! Do you want me to push yours too? I wouldn't mind!

If he was your "man", then he wouldn't be in this kind of predicament in the first place

He made a good decision last night from what I see, and from what I am reading, you are giving him sh!t for it.

Well, he just became my man! Do you have an issue with that announcement?

PS: I doubt you could push my buttons.

You sound cute for a teddy bear. I could squeeze you. Are you also ticklish?

If he just became your man, then congratulations. he won't need to worry about this other girl he is attracted to.

Me a teddy bear? Where did you come up with that?

Gosh, you French, much less French-Canadian, men have no sense of humor, do you? Note to self: Never hook up with a French man!

I had absolutely no desire to flirt with you. Hense why I replied the way I did.

 

Originally posted by: Hyperblaze

Originally posted by: DearQT

Originally posted by: Hyperblaze

Originally posted by: DearQT

Originally posted by: Hyperblaze

Originally posted by: DearQT

Originally posted by: freedomsbeat212
Actually, i used to be very, very shy and now I hit on girls like a banshee... I also meet many, many girls.. I have crushes on.. Hmm.. 3? If that... I work with so many women and most of them (as in most people, male or female) bore the heck out of me. If I was shy I wouldn't have as many friends as I have. Though I am shy about some things - like dancing. I SUCK at dancing.

Darling, I don't believe that you're being honest here, but that's okay. I still admire your artistic talent. Maybe one day we'll see your name credited on a high budget movie, unless you don't wish to go that far.

Originally posted by: Hyperblaze

Originally posted by: DearQT
All right, I've just read your update. Well, suprise that she would come to you for a problem! :roll: It's obvious from your other posts that you're Mr. Sensitive and the type of guy girls fall back on for emotional support.

I'm sorry, but I don't believe you one bit that it was because you were trying to be a gentleman--in spite of a suppose chance to take advantage. I think it's clear and simple: You're shy and have security issues yourself. If she made a sexual move on you, you may turn it down, but not that easily either. She didn't make the move here. You're stilla nice guy for listening, anyway.

:roll:

do you like pushing his buttons?

Yes, I do! Got a problem with that? He's my man! LOL! Do you want me to push yours too? I wouldn't mind!

If he was your "man", then he wouldn't be in this kind of predicament in the first place

He made a good decision last night from what I see, and from what I am reading, you are giving him sh!t for it.

Well, he just became my man! Do you have an issue with that announcement?

PS: I doubt you could push my buttons.

You sound cute for a teddy bear. I could squeeze you. Are you also ticklish?

If he just became your man, then congratulations. he won't need to worry about this other girl he is attracted to.

Me a teddy bear? Where did you come up with that?

Gosh, you French, much less French-Canadian, men have no sense of humor, do you? Note to self: Never hook up with a French man!

I had absolutely no desire to flirt with you. Hense why I replied the way I did.

Well, congratulations Frenchman! You thought I couldn't egg you on. Muahahahaha! :lips:

 

[Balt]

Originally posted by: gigapet
Well....how does it feel to be the nice guy that doesn't get laid? Yeah wooohooo your respectable......you still didnt get laid.

This was a classic opportunity the girl set up *purposefully* to get laid. She coordinated the whole thing as a test for you to pass whether you were man enough for her to bone and leave her BF for. You failed the test miserably as I suspected you would....at least you understand that you failed the test. You'll kick yourself when your old and limp when you think about how you could have been the guy that was getting laid instead of the guy that gets to be the shoulder to cry on.

In any case I should be happy because ppl like are what makes it so easy for ppl like me to get laid.....all I have to do is not be a pvssy. :beer:

I hate to say it, but he's got some valid points there. I think if you wanted to get with this girl you pretty much had your chance and now have lost it. Now you will get to hear about all of her future relationship problems while being powerless to do anything about them.

There are guys who take advantage of situations like that and score and there are guys who are 'respectful' and generally don't. In the end you will probably end up with a more meaningful and long-lasting relationship of some kind (with some other girl), but that's never guaranteed.

It sucks that the world works that way, but that's pretty much how it is from what I've observed. I fall into the 'respectful' category as well (mostly because I never have the balls to make a move), so I feel your pain.

 

[Hyperblaze]

Originally posted by: DearQT

Originally posted by: Hyperblaze

Originally posted by: DearQT

Originally posted by: Hyperblaze

Originally posted by: DearQT

Originally posted by: Hyperblaze

Originally posted by: DearQT

Originally posted by: freedomsbeat212
Actually, i used to be very, very shy and now I hit on girls like a banshee... I also meet many, many girls.. I have crushes on.. Hmm.. 3? If that... I work with so many women and most of them (as in most people, male or female) bore the heck out of me. If I was shy I wouldn't have as many friends as I have. Though I am shy about some things - like dancing. I SUCK at dancing.

Darling, I don't believe that you're being honest here, but that's okay. I still admire your artistic talent. Maybe one day we'll see your name credited on a high budget movie, unless you don't wish to go that far.

Originally posted by: Hyperblaze

Originally posted by: DearQT
All right, I've just read your update. Well, suprise that she would come to you for a problem! :roll: It's obvious from your other posts that you're Mr. Sensitive and the type of guy girls fall back on for emotional support.

I'm sorry, but I don't believe you one bit that it was because you were trying to be a gentleman--in spite of a suppose chance to take advantage. I think it's clear and simple: You're shy and have security issues yourself. If she made a sexual move on you, you may turn it down, but not that easily either. She didn't make the move here. You're stilla nice guy for listening, anyway.

:roll:

do you like pushing his buttons?

Yes, I do! Got a problem with that? He's my man! LOL! Do you want me to push yours too? I wouldn't mind!

If he was your "man", then he wouldn't be in this kind of predicament in the first place

He made a good decision last night from what I see, and from what I am reading, you are giving him sh!t for it.

Well, he just became my man! Do you have an issue with that announcement?

PS: I doubt you could push my buttons.

You sound cute for a teddy bear. I could squeeze you. Are you also ticklish?

If he just became your man, then congratulations. he won't need to worry about this other girl he is attracted to.

Me a teddy bear? Where did you come up with that?

Gosh, you French, much less French-Canadian, men have no sense of humor, do you? Note to self: Never hook up with a French man!

I had absolutely no desire to flirt with you. Hense why I replied the way I did.

Well, congratulations Frenchman! You thought I couldn't egg you on. Muahahahaha! :lips:

and from what i see, you failed to egg me on

soo.....next attempt?

 

[Hyperblaze]

Originally posted by: Balt

Originally posted by: gigapet
Well....how does it feel to be the nice guy that doesn't get laid? Yeah wooohooo your respectable......you still didnt get laid.

This was a classic opportunity the girl set up *purposefully* to get laid. She coordinated the whole thing as a test for you to pass whether you were man enough for her to bone and leave her BF for. You failed the test miserably as I suspected you would....at least you understand that you failed the test. You'll kick yourself when your old and limp when you think about how you could have been the guy that was getting laid instead of the guy that gets to be the shoulder to cry on.

In any case I should be happy because ppl like are what makes it so easy for ppl like me to get laid.....all I have to do is not be a pvssy. :beer:

I hate to say it, but he's got some valid points there. I think if you wanted to get with this girl you pretty much had your chance and now have lost it. Now you will get to hear about all of her future relationship problems while being powerless to do anything about them.

There are guys who take advantage of situations like that and score and there are guys who are 'respectful' and generally don't. In the end you will probably end up with a more meaningful and long-lasting relationship of some kind (with some other girl), but that's never guaranteed.

It sucks that the world works that way, but that's pretty much how it is from what I've observed. I fall into the 'respectful' category as well (mostly because I never have the balls to make a move), so I feel your pain.

had she been single, it would of been an entirely different stuation.

it's not a matter of not having balls, but a matter of knowing girl is already in a relationship.

 

[Balt]

Originally posted by: Hyperblaze

Originally posted by: Balt

Originally posted by: gigapet
Well....how does it feel to be the nice guy that doesn't get laid? Yeah wooohooo your respectable......you still didnt get laid.

This was a classic opportunity the girl set up *purposefully* to get laid. She coordinated the whole thing as a test for you to pass whether you were man enough for her to bone and leave her BF for. You failed the test miserably as I suspected you would....at least you understand that you failed the test. You'll kick yourself when your old and limp when you think about how you could have been the guy that was getting laid instead of the guy that gets to be the shoulder to cry on.

In any case I should be happy because ppl like are what makes it so easy for ppl like me to get laid.....all I have to do is not be a pvssy. :beer:

I hate to say it, but he's got some valid points there. I think if you wanted to get with this girl you pretty much had your chance and now have lost it. Now you will get to hear about all of her future relationship problems while being powerless to do anything about them.

There are guys who take advantage of situations like that and score and there are guys who are 'respectful' and generally don't. In the end you will probably end up with a more meaningful and long-lasting relationship of some kind (with some other girl), but that's never guaranteed.

It sucks that the world works that way, but that's pretty much how it is from what I've observed. I fall into the 'respectful' category as well (mostly because I never have the balls to make a move), so I feel your pain.

had she been single, it would of been an entirely different stuation.

it's not a matter of not having balls, but a matter of knowing girl is already in a relationship.

She made it pretty clear she was unhappy with her current relationship I think and many girls will not leave a relationship until they've got someone else on the line. Of course that means that if she gets tired of him she'll turn around and do the same thing with someone else, but that's the trade-off as I said.

 

[slackerinabox]

UPDATE 2
So my little adventure with this wonderful girl is over for now. She slept over while I was at work and I came home to see her pretty face. It was nice, even if she was just there as a friend in need. We watched some tv, had some dinner, and then I drove her home. I convinced her to talk things over with her boyfriend and to be rational and weigh all of the factors before doing something that she'd regret. We had a long hug goodbye and I felt really good about the whole thing. We are going to the zoo on saturday but I have no alterior motives.. i learned so much about this girl and respect her so much after this odd 24 hours... she got a 1530 on her SATs! Ha, for some reason i think she's even hotter knowing that.. Anyway, whatever happens, happens... I'm just happy that I have her in my life at all. She's smart, beautiful, and probably has cute friends too

Thanks to the ATOTers who were unusually patient and respectful. Sometimes you guys piss me off and other times you guys are a loving bunch with thoughtful advice.

 

[charles555]

Dude, sounds like she wants you to learn some moves from the monkeys (at the zoo). Make sure your coat rail in the closet is bolted in properly, so you can hang from it...

I think she hit the threshold of redneck dickheads and it turned her in the right direction, which most girls don't have the mental horsepower to even dream of. If her SAT score was under 1300 she'd probably be with the majority for the rest of her life and end up like the rest of the 51%. Obviously she is better than average. Hopefully it doesn'r rain this weekend...

 

[Tiorapatea]

Originally posted by: freedomsbeat212
[Snip] We are going to the zoo on saturday but I have no alterior motives..

In my experience, zoos can really turn people on. Nature red in tooth and claw and all that. This is making me think you're in with a bigger chance than anyone is giving you credit for here. On the other hand, the morality of zoos is also questionable - all those wild animals torn away from their natural habitats, caged and gawped at by snotty-nosed kids. Perhaps you owe it to yourself to call this one off.

 

[huesmann]

Just hit it and be done with it.

 

[slackerinabox]

Originally posted by: Tiorapatea

Originally posted by: freedomsbeat212
[Snip] We are going to the zoo on saturday but I have no alterior motives..

In my experience, zoos can really turn people on. Nature red in tooth and claw and all that. This is making me think you're in with a bigger chance than anyone is giving you credit for here. On the other hand, the morality of zoos is also questionable - all those wild animals torn away from their natural habitats, caged and gawped at by snotty-nosed kids. Perhaps you owe it to yourself to call this one off.

ha... you're a funny man... The bronx zoo, from what I remember, is pretty good to it's animals...

 

[IHYLN]

Can I come? I'll hold her hand for you

 

[SP33Demon]

Originally posted by: gigapet

for the time being at least i will trust my first hand experience over something i read on a forum.

For a 29 year old, you have absolutely no fvcking clue how women think or act. Go play with your little 21 and under crowd GUnit-boy, leave the women to the men here.

 

[HardcoreRobot]

way to go getting involved with a girl that not only has a bf, but is not interested in you that way

 

[Tiorapatea]

Originally posted by: freedomsbeat212

Originally posted by: Tiorapatea

Originally posted by: freedomsbeat212
[Snip] We are going to the zoo on saturday but I have no alterior motives..

In my experience, zoos can really turn people on. Nature red in tooth and claw and all that. This is making me think you're in with a bigger chance than anyone is giving you credit for here. On the other hand, the morality of zoos is also questionable - all those wild animals torn away from their natural habitats, caged and gawped at by snotty-nosed kids. Perhaps you owe it to yourself to call this one off.

ha... you're a funny man... The bronx zoo, from what I remember, is pretty good to it's animals...

It was meant to be a joke, sorry if it annoyed you.

 

[slackerinabox]

UPDATE - 4/8/2005
So she had a long talk with her boyfriend and her words to me where "I need to forget about him." I'm going to continue to be the good guy and wait things over before making a move but I sure as fvck am going to try to get out of the friend boat. I asked her if I can pamper her tomorrow since she's been so stressed out, "a minivacation filled with foot rubs and smelly animals" which she laughed at and accepted. I don't know if that's a date but I'm at least trying to get out of this friend situation. it's moving too quickly though, I know. I expect her boyfriend to come back with an apology but it's so shaky that I don't feel bad for being a little flirty right now.

 

[ironcrotch]

don't be the rebound bf

 

[NikPreviousAcct]

Originally posted by: freedomsbeat212
UPDATE - 4/8/2005
So she had a long talk with her boyfriend and her words to me where "I need to forget about him." I'm going to continue to be the good guy and wait things over before making a move but I sure as fvck am going to try to get out of the friend boat. I asked her if I can pamper her tomorrow since she's been so stressed out, "a minivacation filled with foot rubs and smelly animals" which she laughed at and accepted. I don't know if that's a date but I'm at least trying to get out of this friend situation. it's moving too quickly though, I know. I expect her boyfriend to come back with an apology but it's so shaky that I don't feel bad for being a little flirty right now.

Uh... don't. Wait. Recind the offer in lieu of her still having a BF. You're defeating all that hard work. Wait until you hear that she's single, THEN lay it on REALLY THICK.

 

[huesmann]

Originally posted by: freedomsbeat212
UPDATE - 4/8/2005
I sure as fvck am going to try to get out of the friend boat.

Im-fracking-possible.

 

[Munky]

Originally posted by: aplefka

Originally posted by: SnoPearL69

Originally posted by: aplefka

Originally posted by: SnoPearL69
Yeah, it's true that a lot of girls don't do the whole forums thing. In fact, I don't either. I only post here because my bf is obsessed with this place and he introduced me to it. Not to make myself look stupid or anything, but I couldn't figure out how to quote you, gigapet, without picking up all the rest of the quotes in front of it. Point here is just that you shouldn't discredit what the gals say just because ATOT isn't a popular venue for women. I'm not some kind of stay-indoors super-nerd girl, I just post here when I have something to share. Girl posters here aren't necessarily different from "real" women. But truly, this place does scare off a lot of them haha. I used to be afraid to post here Anyway, this isn't to say that I am all-knowing and represent all girls. It's just like guys can talk about how guys think and other guys will still disagree. If you disagree with what I said earlier, it should be the content you disagree with, not just the fact that I'm a girl that posts here.

Back to the topic at large, I'm sure that if a girl was to tell her girlfriends that she had a fight with her bf and was really upset, and she went to a nice guy for comfort, they'd all think the guy was really sweet. Now, if she was to add that she ended up hooking up with him in the process, she instantly turns into a "slut", even in the eyes of her closest friends (oh yes, you should hear how we say stuff about our slutty friends behind their backs). So, again, don't be upset that nothing happened sexually between you two, OP. I'm starting to worry that you're making such a big deal out of this... because it makes me wonder if you're more sexually attracted to her than anything else.

There are no girls on the internet. There are males, then males that pretend like they're females and post on ATOT. You can't fool us.

I have to tell you, the whole thing where guys on the forums use girl avatars IS a bit disturbing...

All the women I know on AT don't use women avatars, except Moshquerade. And Tami. And the other one who posts pics of herself all the time. So what I'm really trying to say I guess, is that it's very common.

But seriously, once you go into the friend zone you never get out. Why would you be friends with someone for 3 or 4 years then one day she just starts liking you as more than a friend? Doesn't happen, at least not in my world.

Funny, I always though moshquerade was some gay guy.... heheh. Anyway, back to the topic, I usually would agree that you can't go from the friend zone to boning the girl, but it happens, and it even happened to one of my friends. I think it depends on the personality of both people, and how they interact.

 

[slackerinabox]

Originally posted by: Nik

Originally posted by: freedomsbeat212
UPDATE - 4/8/2005
So she had a long talk with her boyfriend and her words to me where "I need to forget about him." I'm going to continue to be the good guy and wait things over before making a move but I sure as fvck am going to try to get out of the friend boat. I asked her if I can pamper her tomorrow since she's been so stressed out, "a minivacation filled with foot rubs and smelly animals" which she laughed at and accepted. I don't know if that's a date but I'm at least trying to get out of this friend situation. it's moving too quickly though, I know. I expect her boyfriend to come back with an apology but it's so shaky that I don't feel bad for being a little flirty right now.

Uh... don't. Wait. Recind the offer in lieu of her still having a BF. You're defeating all that hard work. Wait until you hear that she's single, THEN lay it on REALLY THICK.

i should make it clear, i'm not making a move tomorrow... And, as far as she's concerned, she doesn't have a boyfriend. i'm NOT going to be the rebound guy. I'm not going to make a move. what I'm going to do is try to make her think of me as a guy, not the asexual best friend. you know, stay flirty and respectful... touchy yet not aggressive. a difficult balancing act, that's why we're not going to a bar - alcohol might fvck things up, i just want her to know that i feel for and care about her. nothing wrong with that..

 

[maziwanka]

im giving you some warning --

Lets assume that i was the bf in this entire ordeal - if you were kicking game to my gf while we were fighting and legitimately trying to work things out (assuming that i was a decent guy at least), i would want to kick the sh!t out you. seriously.

 

[slackerinabox]

Originally posted by: huesmann

Originally posted by: freedomsbeat212
UPDATE - 4/8/2005
I sure as fvck am going to try to get out of the friend boat.

Im-fracking-possible.

Not true... I was my ex's best friend before we dated - for 6.5 years... I was also friends with the ex before her... it's really hard though, i give you that.

 

[maziwanka]

Originally posted by: freedomsbeat212

Originally posted by: Nik

Originally posted by: freedomsbeat212
UPDATE - 4/8/2005
So she had a long talk with her boyfriend and her words to me where "I need to forget about him." I'm going to continue to be the good guy and wait things over before making a move but I sure as fvck am going to try to get out of the friend boat. I asked her if I can pamper her tomorrow since she's been so stressed out, "a minivacation filled with foot rubs and smelly animals" which she laughed at and accepted. I don't know if that's a date but I'm at least trying to get out of this friend situation. it's moving too quickly though, I know. I expect her boyfriend to come back with an apology but it's so shaky that I don't feel bad for being a little flirty right now.

Uh... don't. Wait. Recind the offer in lieu of her still having a BF. You're defeating all that hard work. Wait until you hear that she's single, THEN lay it on REALLY THICK.

i should make it clear, i'm not making a move tomorrow... And, as far as she's concerned, she doesn't have a boyfriend. i'm NOT going to be the rebound guy. I'm not going to make a move. what I'm going to do is try to make her think of me as a guy, not the asexual best friend. you know, stay flirty and respectful... touchy yet not aggressive. a difficult balancing act, that's why we're not going to a bar - alcohol might fvck things up, i just want her to know that i feel for and care about her. nothing wrong with that..

dude. thats called flirting and making moves.