YAGT: but not really bad.

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Yax

Platinum Member
Feb 11, 2003
2,866
0
0
3 nights in the same bed an no action. You've already lost. Friend zone now. Hope you manage to somehow recover, but it can only happen if she really likes you, otherwise, too bad.

You can make a move and if it fails, move on. Do me or leave me should be your approach. Otherwise, it will never develop to anything more. You already screwed up.
 

VictorLazlo

Senior member
Jul 23, 2003
996
0
0
Originally posted by: cheapbidder01
3 nights in the same bed an no action. You've already lost. Friend zone now. Hope you manage to somehow recover, but it can only happen if she really likes you, otherwise, too bad.

You can make a move and if it fails, move on. Do me or leave me should be your approach. Otherwise, it will never develop to anything more. You already screwed up.

I agree. The battle may already be lost.
 

TekChik

Senior member
Jan 15, 2003
839
0
0
how come no girls ever reply to these? they're the ones you should REALLY be asking...guys don't have a clue! :p

anyway, it's pretty obvious she likes you, but if i were you, i'd take it slowly. i think it's great that you're just cuddling, etc.

maybe the next time you "hang out", cuddle for a while and then say something like "you know, i've been wanting to kiss you since the first time you came over..." and see what her reaction is. girls like honesty and being upfront about things (surprised?) and i would be flattered if a guy i liked said that to me and then kissed me.

FWIW...
-TekChik
 

Jackhole

Member
Dec 3, 1999
144
0
0
You got nothing to lose (except maybe your virginity). Whip out your magic stick and beat her with it.
 
Oct 9, 1999
19,636
36
91
if i were you, i would have already gave her soemthing to cuddle with;)


all jokes aside




she likes you, but dont hesitate if u wanna kiss her dood, other wise you will lose your chance.




gl
 

VictorLazlo

Senior member
Jul 23, 2003
996
0
0
Originally posted by: TekChik
how come no girls ever reply to these? they're the ones you should REALLY be asking...guys don't have a clue! :p

anyway, it's pretty obvious she likes you, but if i were you, i'd take it slowly. i think it's great that you're just cuddling, etc.

maybe the next time you "hang out", cuddle for a while and then say something like "you know, i've been wanting to kiss you since the first time you came over..." and see what her reaction is. girls like honesty and being upfront about things (surprised?) and i would be flattered if a guy i liked said that to me and then kissed me.

FWIW...
-TekChik

I've got a few problems with this post (sorry TekChik):
anyway, it's pretty obvious she likes you, but if i were you, i'd take it slowly. i think it's great that you're just cuddling, etc.
He has taken it slowly. The men in this thread are worried that he has taken it too slowly, and branded himself as a permanent friend in the process.

maybe the next time you "hang out", cuddle for a while and then say something like "you know, i've been wanting to kiss you since the first time you came over..." and see what her reaction is.
Honesty can lead to an uncomfortable situation unless handeled perfectly. If he is going to say that, then he should say it, then kiss her immediately. If he waits for a reaction, she may get uncomfortable and handle it by laughing or otherwise diffusing the situation.
 

ucdbiendog

Platinum Member
Sep 22, 2001
2,468
0
0
that is short? read the first line and started laughing. good luck with whatever your problem is.
 

TekChik

Senior member
Jan 15, 2003
839
0
0
Originally posted by: VictorLazlo
Originally posted by: TekChik
how come no girls ever reply to these? they're the ones you should REALLY be asking...guys don't have a clue! :p

anyway, it's pretty obvious she likes you, but if i were you, i'd take it slowly. i think it's great that you're just cuddling, etc.

maybe the next time you "hang out", cuddle for a while and then say something like "you know, i've been wanting to kiss you since the first time you came over..." and see what her reaction is. girls like honesty and being upfront about things (surprised?) and i would be flattered if a guy i liked said that to me and then kissed me.

FWIW...
-TekChik

I've got a few problems with this post (sorry TekChik):
anyway, it's pretty obvious she likes you, but if i were you, i'd take it slowly. i think it's great that you're just cuddling, etc.
He has taken it slowly. The men in this thread are worried that he has taken it too slowly, and branded himself as a permanent friend in the process.

maybe the next time you "hang out", cuddle for a while and then say something like "you know, i've been wanting to kiss you since the first time you came over..." and see what her reaction is.
Honesty can lead to an uncomfortable situation unless handeled perfectly. If he is going to say that, then he should say it, then kiss her immediately. If he waits for a reaction, she may get uncomfortable and handle it by laughing or otherwise diffusing the situation.

OK...whatever...I guess I meant that he should CONTINUE to take it slowly...b/c i followed up with saying i was glad he WAS.

either way would probably work using that line, at least it's a lot better than what most of the people on here posted. but thanks for pointing out my glaring errors. :p
 

Gulzakar

Diamond Member
Oct 9, 1999
3,074
0
0
I just got a text from her asking if I'd like to go out friday for dinner "if im not busy or anything", hehe. I guess two of her best friends are coming, some married couple. who knows.
 

Saulbadguy

Diamond Member
Jan 27, 2003
5,573
10
81
Originally posted by: Gulzakar
I just got a text from her asking if I'd like to go out friday for dinner "if im not busy or anything", hehe. I guess two of her best friends are coming, some married couple. who knows.

There is your chance. After dinner, take her back to your place. ;)
 

Gulzakar

Diamond Member
Oct 9, 1999
3,074
0
0
update*

ok, so we actually all went out as a large group...met up at a friends house.

I knew it was over when the first thing out of her mouth was "there's this guy here, he's so hot"... so yeah, I pretty much tipped the drinks back after that.

Later that night after dropping her off I went home...my friend had sent me a text asking about the evening. I sent him a reply saying "I'm just a cuddle buddy, and I really don't need or want that". BUT, being intoxicated, I sent it to her...lol. talk about fast resolution. I get this reply "I'm sorry to hear that, your're a good friend".

I called her the next day (much to her surprise), apologized and we had some coffee later, worked some things out. she was afraid she'd lost a friend. That is the only reason why I didn't nuke the bridge is that she's a lot of fun.

so I asked her (and I trust her at that), is it me or the situation (5 year bf, broke up fairly recently), she ponders and says situation. I don't fully believe her, but I think that it might have been different given another situation...so we talked for about 3 hours. Since Sat, we've been texting on our phones about this and that. I simply do not know what to do. Part of me says drop her, part of me says stay her friend, you never know...I just dont want to go thru hell only to be screwed over. It might be better if I slowly fade away.

to get close to someone and then go away is a big shocker...I think she realized the error in doing that (as I pointed it out), I told her that if she had no intentions of pursuing anything, she should NOT have acted the way she did. So yeah, I laid the smack down. Have I given up? sort of...a glimmer of hope is still there. I will be a friend, if someone else comes along, I will simply fade away like an ass. :)

I signed up for yagt.org, I cant login yet.
 

arcenite

Lifer
Dec 9, 2001
10,658
3
81
Originally posted by: Gulzakar
update*

ok, so we actually all went out as a large group...met up at a friends house.

I knew it was over when the first thing out of her mouth was "there's this guy here, he's so hot"... so yeah, I pretty much tipped the drinks back after that.

Later that night after dropping her off I went home...my friend had sent me a text asking about the evening. I sent him a reply saying "I'm just a cuddle buddy, and I really don't need or want that". BUT, being intoxicated, I sent it to her...lol. talk about fast resolution. I get this reply "I'm sorry to hear that, your're a good friend".

I called her the next day (much to her surprise), apologized and we had some coffee later, worked some things out. she was afraid she'd lost a friend. That is the only reason why I didn't nuke the bridge is that she's a lot of fun.

so I asked her (and I trust her at that), is it me or the situation (5 year bf, broke up fairly recently), she ponders and says situation. I don't fully believe her, but I think that it might have been different given another situation...so we talked for about 3 hours. Since Sat, we've been texting on our phones about this and that. I simply do not know what to do. Part of me says drop her, part of me says stay her friend, you never know...I just dont want to go thru hell only to be screwed over. It might be better if I slowly fade away.

to get close to someone and then go away is a big shocker...I think she realized the error in doing that (as I pointed it out), I told her that if she had no intentions of pursuing anything, she should NOT have acted the way she did. So yeah, I laid the smack down. Have I given up? sort of...a glimmer of hope is still there. I will be a friend, if someone else comes along, I will simply fade away like an ass. :)

I signed up for yagt.org, I cant login yet.

you should just cuddle w/ her... then... out of nowhere.. start dancing on the bed, take of your pants, and beat yourself with a jar of mayo
 

johnjbruin

Diamond Member
Jul 17, 2001
4,402
1
0
Originally posted by: Gulzakar
update*

ok, so we actually all went out as a large group...met up at a friends house.

I knew it was over when the first thing out of her mouth was "there's this guy here, he's so hot"... so yeah, I pretty much tipped the drinks back after that.

Later that night after dropping her off I went home...my friend had sent me a text asking about the evening. I sent him a reply saying "I'm just a cuddle buddy, and I really don't need or want that". BUT, being intoxicated, I sent it to her...lol. talk about fast resolution. I get this reply "I'm sorry to hear that, your're a good friend".

I called her the next day (much to her surprise), apologized and we had some coffee later, worked some things out. she was afraid she'd lost a friend. That is the only reason why I didn't nuke the bridge is that she's a lot of fun.

so I asked her (and I trust her at that), is it me or the situation (5 year bf, broke up fairly recently), she ponders and says situation. I don't fully believe her, but I think that it might have been different given another situation...so we talked for about 3 hours. Since Sat, we've been texting on our phones about this and that. I simply do not know what to do. Part of me says drop her, part of me says stay her friend, you never know...I just dont want to go thru hell only to be screwed over. It might be better if I slowly fade away.

to get close to someone and then go away is a big shocker...I think she realized the error in doing that (as I pointed it out), I told her that if she had no intentions of pursuing anything, she should NOT have acted the way she did. So yeah, I laid the smack down. Have I given up? sort of...a glimmer of hope is still there. I will be a friend, if someone else comes along, I will simply fade away like an ass. :)

I signed up for yagt.org, I cant login yet.

man... I've been in a similar situation before. I did just fade away slowly, and lost a good friend also.
Quoting Harry Met Sally approximately - "men and women can't be friends because the sex part always gets in the way."


 

sygyzy

Lifer
Oct 21, 2000
14,001
4
76
If I were you, I would just fade away and not be her friend anymore. It's too mean, for both people, to just drop a friendship. But if you do it slowly, it's not too hard. I am in that situation now.
 

Gulzakar

Diamond Member
Oct 9, 1999
3,074
0
0
normally I would just nuke the bridge...burning is too slow...but this girl really is just the ultimate...she's not hot (shes cute), and her personality is just tops...

thats the only problem I am having. I dunno...I want to hang in there, maybe she'll come around..I suppose this can only make me tougher.
 

johnjbruin

Diamond Member
Jul 17, 2001
4,402
1
0
Originally posted by: Gulzakar
I suppose this can only make me tougher.

It will... about 3 months here... and counting. We have the occasional hello now and thats about it. She asked me about 2 weeks ago that we should meet up sometime and have dinner or something... i was just like 'meh'... and we havent talked since then. maybe i am just being an @ss now but whatever... i am getting over it...

 

BD2003

Lifer
Oct 9, 1999
16,815
1
76
Id say you had your chance and missed it.

But dont be anyones backup. Dont be that emotional tampon.

Men cannot be platonic friends with women except under 3 condition, and these are not hard and fast rules.
1) She's family
2) She's ugly
3) She's your homeboy's girl.

If she does not fall into any of those categories, but you somehow remain friends, there will still be the urge to hit it. Every man knows what Im talking about.

Women however, can be platonic friends with men very very easily.

So, the choice is up to you. You want her like that, but she doesnt. You can choose to try and be friends, but if youre hoping that will wear her down, your chance are slim. If you want it, go and take it. None of that wondering whether she likes you stuff. She likes you, cause youre the man. If you believe it, so will she. If she still denies you, then just forget about it, and dont waste your time. The only thing that will make you tougher is not being a pussy about it. "Hanging in there" will just waste your time, and if you make it a habit, will contribute to wussyness. If she wants to cuddle with you, she more than likely wants to do more than cuddle. But like the typical girl, YOU have to act on it. Im not saying you have to be a dick about it, or mean or anything like that. Just be confident, dont question yourself, dont overanalyze anything, because theres nothing to analyze. Just do it.

Fading away is the easy way out. Might as well drop the WMDs if you have them, and cross your fingers. Nuke away!
 

spidey07

No Lifer
Aug 4, 2000
65,469
5
76
Originally posted by: Gulzakar
your're right.

how should I approch this without beating a dead horse?

-edit-

Dropping WMD means getting some balls and trying to kiss her when ever you are alone and it feels appropriate. If she declines then that just means you never see her again or talk to her.
 

spidey07

No Lifer
Aug 4, 2000
65,469
5
76
Originally posted by: Gulzakar
harsh...I likey.

On the phone or in person?

hey dude! I mis read your post. Give it one last hurrah/try at dating her (meaning attempt physical contact) and see what happens. If you're rejected don't worry about it. It will happen hundreds of times later in your life if you're doing it right.

 

Gulzakar

Diamond Member
Oct 9, 1999
3,074
0
0
yeah, I know. I'm 25...it always feels like im running out of time. hehe.

I will see if I can hang out with her this weekend. I will get a feel for where we go...if nothing happens that I like, I will give it one last shot. I did give a peck on the mouth one time...didnt amount to much though. I at least figured it could go from there. ah well.