dullard
Elite Member
- May 21, 2001
- 25,069
- 3,420
- 126
There is "immense pressure" because your wife makes a mountain out of a molehill. I mean really, you've been living there for quite a while and just now one person asks you a question. Good God! Call the police, this is an emergency! Somone asked a question! They are forcing me and my wife to have a child at gunpoint! Aaaaaa...
In reality, it was just an ice breaker. A simple yes/no answer works just as well. "We aren't going to have kids". Plain and simple. No need to feel uncomfortable. No need to worry. And a simple question certainly isn't "immense pressure".
My ex-wife was the same way. Any mention of kids by anyone (even when not talking about us) would make her furious. She didn't want kids because we didn't have sex, we didn't have sex because she didn't love me and was secretly dating other men behind my back. Of course, she couldn't tell anyone her real secret. So she overreacted and complained about such "immense pressure". I'm not saying that your wife is cheating on you, but I am saying she is WAY overreacting.
I have seen pressure from relatives, but a neighbor asking an innocent question is not pressure.
Relatives give pressure because of the work/benefit ratio. They put a massive amount of work into raising you so that they can have the benefit of grandchildren (all the fun and no work). They have been wanting that since the day you were born (maybe even earlier). And you are depriving them of their goals. Of course, you have that right. But you should look at it from their side and see the disappointment. 34 years of dreaming dashed. They should suck it up and stop saying anything about it. But, I suspect you haven't ever outright told them that there will NEVER be any kids either.
Tell them that you will never have kids, and after an initial heated discussion, the "immense pressure" will probably end.
In reality, it was just an ice breaker. A simple yes/no answer works just as well. "We aren't going to have kids". Plain and simple. No need to feel uncomfortable. No need to worry. And a simple question certainly isn't "immense pressure".
My ex-wife was the same way. Any mention of kids by anyone (even when not talking about us) would make her furious. She didn't want kids because we didn't have sex, we didn't have sex because she didn't love me and was secretly dating other men behind my back. Of course, she couldn't tell anyone her real secret. So she overreacted and complained about such "immense pressure". I'm not saying that your wife is cheating on you, but I am saying she is WAY overreacting.
I have seen pressure from relatives, but a neighbor asking an innocent question is not pressure.
Relatives give pressure because of the work/benefit ratio. They put a massive amount of work into raising you so that they can have the benefit of grandchildren (all the fun and no work). They have been wanting that since the day you were born (maybe even earlier). And you are depriving them of their goals. Of course, you have that right. But you should look at it from their side and see the disappointment. 34 years of dreaming dashed. They should suck it up and stop saying anything about it. But, I suspect you haven't ever outright told them that there will NEVER be any kids either.
Tell them that you will never have kids, and after an initial heated discussion, the "immense pressure" will probably end.