Where are the REAL men?

[Nemesis77]

<< It took me about... A bit over year (from the moment I saw her to the moment she said "yes"). That might not sound as much, but it was filled with all kinds of obstacles. She sure didn't make it easy for me .

wow, care to share? that sounds like an interesting story >>



I did tell my story in an earlier thread... Just a sec, I'll try to find it again...

 

[Nemesis77]

Well, here it is. The sotry of me and my girlfriend . This was originally posted on another thread:

I moved from my tiny home town to Helsinki in 1998. It was a big change for me, and I didn't know anyone here. So, I decided to find friends online . I left a personal ad in a suitable website in the beginning on 1999, where I told that I was looking for a friend (female friend, but it was NOT my intention to find a GF, just a friend). I got few replies (nothing came of those), but one reply caught my eye. The girl who wrote it seemed to be extremely nice and caring person. And funny too . Just the kind of person I looked for . So, we started to exchange mails. That lasted for about a month, then we decided to meet in person. We agreed on a place to meet and told each other what kind of clothes we would be wearing (so we could recognize each other). That was in march-april 1999.

As I waited for her at that day, I saw this EXTREMELY beautiful girl. She matched the description she gave me, and she noticed me. But she didn't pay much attention to me, so I assumed it wasn't her, since she would have recognized me. I remember thinking to myself "She's beautiful! I wonder who she's waiting for...". As few minutes passed, and no-one else fitting the descripiton arrived, I decided that she IS the girl I was supposed to meet. I went over to her and asked for her name, and yes, it was her ! She had mixed-up the description I gave her, that's why she didn't recognize me.

I fell in love with her at that moment .

We continued to see each other, and we became close friends. I can honestly say that she was (and still is) my best friend. I sometimes teased her about having a relationship, and we just laughed at it. But there was some truth in those jokes of mine, I was in love with her.

Then, in september I gathered all my courage and told her about my feelings. Only to find out that she already had a boyfriend. She had had one for the entire year. I did know that she had a male-friend, but I didn't know he was her boyfriend. She was afraid to tell me, because she thought it would hurt my feelings. But, we decided to stay friends. We were way too close to abandon one another.

Then, next december, she breaks up from her BF. I decided to do nothing. I knew that if I started to pursue relationship with her right away, I would just scare her away. So I waited. In april, in the steps of the Parliament Building, I asked her to be my girlfriend. And she said yes. After she said yes, we watched the fireworks . For some reason, there was this huge fireworks taking place. It started about 2 minutes after she said yes. We just stood there holding each other and enjoyed the show.

I know it sounds like straight out from a romantic movie or something, but that's how it happened .

Right now, she's in northern Finland studying in university of Lapland. She's in the faculty of education. We are having a long-distrance relationship, and we don't see each other as much as we would like to. But we survive . We love each other too much to let something like this to ruin it.

She's extremely kind and caring person. She has a wonderful sense of humour and she's easy to be with. We never (and I mean never) argue . And like I said, she's extremely beautiful. I love when we are walking together, and I see how men look at us thinking "why is a gorgerous girl like her with a guy like that?!" .

 

[tallest1]

<< Dear Girl,
You don't find prime beef in the pigpen. Go to church! The only Real man is one who wants to be like Christ.

John >>


w0rd

 

[Polgara]

I want to thank you all for excellent advice. I was feeling very melancholy last night, and it was a big help. Even the harsh replies, or maybe especially the harsh replies.

I think I'll give JohnnyReb's advice a try.

Sarah <== might become a churchie

 

[Hammer]

We're still around...

 

[Red Dawn]

<< You don't find prime beef in the pigpen. Go to church! The only Real man is one who wants to be like Christ >>

What's that, Virgin Martyrs with no dicks?

 

[eakers]

oh girly, you are so in for it.

you're going to get so many of the "nice guys finish last whine" from this.

im so sick of hearing it, all my guy friends who are "nice" bitch about how the assholes get the girl, get hte job and blah blah blah...

*kat. <-- amazed the boys have been nice thus far. if she made a thread like this id probley be locked by now.

 

[Red Dawn]

<< amazed the boys have been nice thus far. if she made a thread like this id probley be locked by now. >>

Hey it's Ariel the Mermaid. Just remember, the cure for all your problems "are in your pants" Hahahahaha

 

[Theslowone]

Trying to fill your dreams and conquer your fears is the only thing any man can do. Your selection might be limited but someone out there probably thinks that you are the greatest thing. And would love to love you and do anything that made you happy, but he is not right for you. It?s not a matter of being nice or mean, its just a matter of being and acceptance.

 

[JohnnyReb]

What's that, Virgin Martyrs with no dicks?

Red,
What in the world do you intend with this comment?

John

 

[JohnnyReb]

Yeah, the most mentally healthy and stable individuals are usually found from the church, sure

Yes. This is exactly what studies have shown.

John

 

[Red Dawn]

<< Yes. This is exactly what studies have shown. >>

Yep just ask all the young Boys who were molested by Priests.

 

[SagaLore]

<< You know, the guys who can do everything. The one's who say what they mean and do what they say. The one's who are in great shape because they actually do stuff. The one's who are honest, who when he gives his word he'd bankrupt himself before he broke it. The real man who wants more than anything to be a great husband and father.

I love men. But all I've met are jerks who just want to wine, dine, and recline. Or, really nice guys who are just boys inside. They are nice because they are scared to not be.

Sarah <== not a real prize either. >>



I'm a real man.

 

[Miramonti]

Alcoholism = no real relationships.

never has never will.

 

[gopunk]

<< oh girly, you are so in for it.

you're going to get so many of the "nice guys finish last whine" from this.

im so sick of hearing it, all my guy friends who are "nice" bitch about how the assholes get the girl, get hte job and blah blah blah...

*kat. <-- amazed the boys have been nice thus far. if she made a thread like this id probley be locked by now. >>




well, she's in for it just like the nice guys get flak from the other guys and esp. the women here, because she's basically saying the same thing.

why can't i find anybody good? blah blah blah. this is the female eq. of the nice guy's whine.

 

[Novgrod]

I can't believe all of you have missed the obvious answer:

The best place to find real men is in a John Wayne movie, preferably directed by John Ford or Howard Hawkes.

Rio Bravo, the Searchers, the man who shot liberty valance are all:

1) really excellent movies.

2) examples of John Wayne as the peak of manliness.

Now that we've opened the can of "manliness," an explanation is in order.

John Wayne is such the man's man that he becomes the model of manliness, so the question "what would John Wayne do?" can be asked to determine "what's the manly thing to do?" though it ought to be noted that manliness is not necessarily a Good virtue.

So now let's look at John Wayne's prime charactaristics:

1) self control, except when he loses the girl in Liberty Valance
2) takes care of himself; that is, doesn't rely on others
3) a loner, yet with friends
4) does the right thing, always
5) educated in topics of importance
6) disdainful of people who are floundering around, trying to be a man
7) fights when he needs to fight; always wins; doesn't stop.

The best example of John Wayne behavior is in The Man who Shot Liberty Valance, where he realizes that the girl he loves doesn't love him; rather, she has it for Jimmy Stewart and so she lets the two of them be together.

Now there are problems with John Wayne too, (and it should be noted we're talking about the character in the movies, not the actor) but these are problems with manliness.

As for me, I don't fit the model of manliness because I can't imagine John Wayne a) posting here, b) cooking creme brulee, and really a couple other things that don't spring to mind, but I'm sure they're there.

 

[Geekbabe]

<< As for me, I don't fit the model of manliness because I can't imagine John Wayne a) posting here, b) cooking creme brulee, and really a couple other things that don't spring to mind, but I'm sure they're there. >>




Considering that the Dude is dead I can't imagine him posting here either !




Sorry,just couldn't resist

 

[Red Dawn]

<< Considering that the Dude is dead I can't imagine him posting here either ! >>



I'm John Wayne's Ghost and all I have to say is that I've never seen such a sorry collection of Pilgrims in my life (or death)

 

[Hubris]

<< Considering that the Dude is dead I can't imagine him posting here either ! >>



First off, lmao. Second of all, "The Dude" isn't dead. The Dude abides.

 

[lawaris]

<<

<< No wonder I drink. >>

It's going to be tough to find a real man on the internet, or in your wine glass. Go out in the real world and do something productive. >>



don't believe em' !!

they are out there ...just not as easy to find ....in fact harder to find than real women

As for drinking ..... it never solves any problem ....but it sure does help ....BTDT

 

[Novgrod]

Tee hee tee hee I can't imagine him posting here either (sheepish grin).

I've sort of expanded "What would John Wayne do?" to a creedo. I don't dance, for instance, because John Wayne wouldn't dance rather than because I suck at dancing. Girl's giving me a hard time? John Wayne would straighten her out.

The other question that can be asked, with less success, is "what would Hank Hill do?" That one gets a little more difficult because you have to account for marrying Peggy and having Bobby, neither of whom really constitute perfect choices for someone like Hank, were Hank a winner of the John Wayne manliness award

 

[ttn1]

<< Sarah <== might become a churchie >>



Good luck with this one. I have nothing against anyone else's beliefs as long as they bring no harm to me
or my loved ones, but this is just as big a crap shoot as anything else. I have known both girl's and guys
who have gone this route. Both from birth and as adults, and I must say that I have heard as many horror
stories as not.

You just have to learn that life is about being happy. Do the things that "you" want to do and be happy about it.

Just remember to break unhealthy relationships as quickly as you can. This is easy to say and very hard to do.
It is nearly impossible to change someone. Keep looking and you may find "Mr. right".

The easiest way to weed out jerks is to withhold sex until a month into a relationship. This gets rid of most of
the losers right off the top. Making sure your both considering only serious relationships, makes things a bit
easier IMHO.

There are lots of REAL men out their, give them a chance. The problem is that they rarely meet all the qualifications.

 

[Hubris]

Thing is, there aren't any "real men". There are only men. Just as there are only women. Idealized versions of people simply do not exist. There is no one person who is perfect for everyone. You need to find the person who is pefrect for YOU. That person may annoy the hell out of every other person on the planet, but if they're perfect for YOU, then that's all that matters.

Everyone has their good traits. Some have fewer and some are really hard to find, but everyone has some redeeming quality. It may not outweigh their negative ones, but we simply wouldn't be human if there was total darkness.

I haven't seen the post where you mentioned your abundance of drinking and I don't know you personally, so I can't comment on that, but I do know that the one alcoholic I DO know is (or was, as he's gotten help) lost in life. He's nearly 30, has had no real progress in his life beyond high school. Drinking solves nothing, only delays pain for a while.

There is a man out there with the qualities you desire. They just might, and probably will, come part and parcel with others which aren't as attractive. Everyone has some blemish to make their beauty shine more brightly. Prosaic as it may sound, without the darkness, there can be no light.

Didn't we determine in the confederate flag that generalizations are bad? There are good guys out there. I won't get into the whiny nice guys finish last spiel, cause that's a bunch of crap, I think. People who say that tend to be young, and when people are young, they experiment, try to find what fits for them. So maybe girls look for guys who are dangerous (not literally) as a means of experimentation. Eventually they discover that's not what they're looking for and they move on. Those who DON'T discover that tend to end up in abusive relationships. It's all part of the wonderful cycle of growing up. Too bad wisdom comes with age; I'd like to be wise now.

Cynicism is the death of hope. If you think all you're ever going to meet are jerks, then that's all you're ever going to meet. One must stop trying so hard and stop thinking they need someone else. I've had exactly two relationships in my 23 years. I learned from them, and am patient enough to wait for another one. I'm in no rush. I've got two hands.

That being said, I'm still up for rent.

 

[JohnnyReb]

Yep just ask all the young Boys who were molested by Priests.

I would assume that Sarah would avoid the priest if she wants a husband and father for her kids. Remember Priest cannot marry. I probably do need to clarify here that when I say church I am talking about institutions with a high regard for Scripture. This would not be Catholic. Off the top of my head she shoud try Baptist, Methodist, Presbyterian, or Lutheran.

John

PS. Red Dawn is a complete idiot. He is a coward that gets off on trying to provoke others while being safely hidden. He reminds me of the poodle barking from behind a fence.

 

[DAPUNISHER]

<< Where are the REAL men? >>

We are all married and most of us have one or more children Seriously though, you probably have the rep as a party girl and most the men you know probably think that as much as they like to "have fun" with you, that's not good criteria for their prospective wife I'd have to agree with what many of the others in this thread have asserted "if you booze, you lose"!