• We’re currently investigating an issue related to the forum theme and styling that is impacting page layout and visual formatting. The problem has been identified, and we are actively working on a resolution. There is no impact to user data or functionality, this is strictly a front-end display issue. We’ll post an update once the fix has been deployed. Thanks for your patience while we get this sorted.

Whats the best comeback / putdown / insult you've heard?

Page 2 - Seeking answers? Join the AnandTech community: where nearly half-a-million members share solutions and discuss the latest tech.
My buddies and I were hanging out one night at a poolhall place in town and this girl was obviously breaking up with this guy. he wanted to know what her problem was and in the laundry list of complaints she said:

'and your d!ck is like 3 inches long'

to which the guy replied almost instantly

'yeah....if you fold it 18 times'

We all started cracking up and have been using that as a comeback for just about everything since.
 
Originally posted by: bapace
I was at the bar with a buddy one night and the cops showed up. My friend said "Hey man, the cops are here, what did you do"

Me: "Oh sh!t"

Him: "What's wrong man?"

Me: "They saw me fvcking your mom in public and now they want me for animal cruelty"

He didn't even attempt a comeback, just said...

Him: "D@mn, that was nice....."

EDIT:::Fixed something.
Click to expand...

That was sweet. Here is one from House:

"I'm going home"

"To what?"

"...nice"
 
1. There goes a load his mom should have swallowed.
2. 100 million sperm and that's the one that got through.
3. What a proud day for you and your family.
 
Any variance of "X called, they want Y back" might cause me to actually reach out and slap you physically. Or just point and laugh. Those are super-tired. :thumbsdown:

To call somebody a jerk is probably the least potent insult you could throw at someone... anyone who would actually consider the "jerkstore" bit probably got beat up daily on the playground. Why don't you just bust out "sticks and stones" while you're at it? No no, wait, "I'm rubber and you're glue"...

:laugh:
 
In 2nd grade in bathroom with my friend, older kid comes in and says to me: "You're heads to big for your body" (I didn't really grow into my head until much later)

Without missing a beat, my friend says "Yeah, well your butts to big for your pants!" Older kid just left. Pwned by a second grader.
 
Here's a couple supposedly from Winston Churchill:

Lady Astor to Winston Churchill: "If I was your wife, I would put poison in your tea."

Winston Churchill in reply to Lady Astor: "And if I was your husband, I would drink it."

and

After an evening of boozing it up with the buddies, Winston was walking out to his carriage when a woman said, "Sir Winston, you're drunk!"

He looked at her and said, "Ma'dame, Yes I am drunk, but tomorrow I'll be sober, and you'll still be ugly."

 
Originally posted by: kef7
Here's a couple supposedly from Winston Churchill:

Lady Astor to Winston Churchill: "If I was your wife, I would put poison in your tea."

Winston Churchill in reply to Lady Astor: "And if I was your husband, I would drink it."

and

After an evening of boozing it up with the buddies, Winston was walking out to his carriage when a woman said, "Sir Winston, you're drunk!"

He looked at her and said, "Ma'dame, Yes I am drunk, but tomorrow I'll be sober, and you'll still be ugly."
Click to expand...

Dammit. When I wrote my original reply to this thread these were the ones I had in mind, but forgot them. I just remembered and came back to post them.

Anyways, Churchill sure was a quick witted fellow.
 
Originally posted by: NatePo717
Alright let's get off the mom jokes cause I just got off your's.
Click to expand...

Hey, Leave my mom out of this, and I'll leave THIS (Grabs crotch) out of your mom.
 
Guy drives by with his Ford F350 dulie pickup all tricked out with obviously no intention for using it for work.

My employee then says, "dude, sorry about your small penis!"
 
This actually happened.

Background: Partying after work. Manager's daughter is in her 20's and pretty hot. She was there. Said manager was not.

Girl: talks smack
Me: Shut up and go away
Girl: DO YOU KNOW WHO I AM?
Me: I don't give a fvck WHO you are. I don't work for your mom.
Girl: But my reach is deep.

My friend (Blade0 on this board), overhearing this, turns, grabs his right arm above the elbow with his left hand, and says, "Yeah. THIS deep!"

Bwahahahahahahahahahaah
 
Originally posted by: DurocShark
This actually happened.

Background: Partying after work. Manager's daughter is in her 20's and pretty hot. She was there. Said manager was not.

Girl: talks smack
Me: Shut up and go away
Girl: DO YOU KNOW WHO I AM?
Me: I don't give a fvck WHO you are. I don't work for your mom.
Girl: But my reach is deep.

My friend (Blade0 on this board), overhearing this, turns, grabs his right arm above the elbow with his left hand, and says, "Yeah. THIS deep!"

Bwahahahahahahahahahaah
Click to expand...

What was she talking smack about? Pics?
 
Originally posted by: chuckywang
Originally posted by: DurocShark
This actually happened.

Background: Partying after work. Manager's daughter is in her 20's and pretty hot. She was there. Said manager was not.

Girl: talks smack
Me: Shut up and go away
Girl: DO YOU KNOW WHO I AM?
Me: I don't give a fvck WHO you are. I don't work for your mom.
Girl: But my reach is deep.

My friend (Blade0 on this board), overhearing this, turns, grabs his right arm above the elbow with his left hand, and says, "Yeah. THIS deep!"

Bwahahahahahahahahahaah
Click to expand...

What was she talking smack about? Pics?
Click to expand...
Honestly I don't remember. It wasn't important when compared to Blade0's response. 🙂

No pics. Never interested enough...
 
You must log in or register to reply here.

TRENDING THREADS

Back
Top