Depends on circumstances. It should certainly take precedence over daddy's new Corvette or mommy's designer jeans, but if you're poor, there's nothing wrong with sharing a room.
No, why?
Scholarships, grants, and the overall low cost of state schools means that the parents really shouldn't have to pay for college. Of course, schools will always assume that they do when it comes to awarding aid, so they should at least make up the difference between their kid's aid package and the aid package of the kid whose parents are broke. But there is nothing wrong with working your way through college.
Not necessarily, but it's probably a good idea. But they certainly aren't "owed" a fast one, and parents have to be very careful when it comes to gaming and the internet, as it can develop into an addiction very quickly.
My thoughts:
(1)Good, nutritious food,
(2)Enough activities or opportunity for activities to keep the kids engaged, reasonably fit, and not overly bored,
(3)Reading material and access to information so that they can learn about the world around them, develop critical thinking skills, and figure out their own worldview (there should be at least 5 controversial books on the shelf).
(4)Support and advice...not shoving it down their throats, but they shouldn't be there to judge if the kid has an actual problem. This does not mean that you can't discipline them if they screw up, but you owe it to them to make it clear why you're doing it, use the minimum amount necessary for the lesson to take place, and above all strive to make the experience a LESSON rather than a punishment
(5)Clothing, shelter, safety, common sense
TridenT
Lifer
- Sep 4, 2006
- 16,800
- 45
- 91
They owe them everything. They should be willing to put their life on the line because they love their children more than their lives themselves. Maybe you all grew up differently, but my mother and father love me that much, and I love them almost the same. 
(Seems selfish, but I don't want to die)
(Seems selfish, but I don't want to die)
rh71
No Lifer
- Aug 28, 2001
- 52,844
- 1,049
- 126
I hate the idea of parents kicking their kids out at 18 unless they're complete freeloaders. And if they are, there is some responsibility there of not teaching them properly from the beginning not to be fucking lazy asses.
If you want to get technical, I can say what I think they "owe" their kids but I don't think it should come to that... parents should want to give them what they can (with that caveat above) unless they are messed in the head themselves and don't give a shit.
If you want to get technical, I can say what I think they "owe" their kids but I don't think it should come to that... parents should want to give them what they can (with that caveat above) unless they are messed in the head themselves and don't give a shit.
BeauJangles
Lifer
- Aug 26, 2001
- 13,941
- 1
- 0
What SHOULD parents do?
Well simply, parents should want their kids to succeed and should do everything in their power to help them succeed.
rivan
Diamond Member
- Jul 8, 2003
- 9,677
- 3
- 81
Those are a given.
Why? Plenty of kids in generations past lived 2 or more to a room. They sure don't seem f'd up.
My kids have their own rooms, but if we had another one, we'd be out of bedrooms and we'd either have to move out of our excellent school district (homes are about $120-140k per bedroom in our area) or they'd need to share a room.
Why? I did those things on my own and feel I'm more responsible for it.
OK, I'll give you that.
There's a VAST amount of middle ground between paying for college and clothes from Goodwill.
I think preparing your child for the real world is your job. Part of that preparation is teaching them early on that expenses like a car and a college education are responsibilities adults must shoulder.
entitlement. mapleton seems to think his parents owe him a car, allowance for life and brand new house in beverly hills.
Food, shelter, nurturing, guidance, education are what is REQUIRED. All the material things you list the parent is not obligated to provide any of those. If the parents didn't have money growing up; just because they have it now doesn't mean they should just buy everything for their kids. I'm down for making the kids earn it through good grades, chores, whatever. To just give it to them because it's some kind of misconceived notion of obligation is what causes entitlement issues in kids now.
Originally posted by: TridenTBoy3555
They owe them everything. They should be willing to put their life on the line because they love their children more than their lives themselves. Maybe you all grew up differently, but my mother and father love me that much, and I love them almost the same.
And you just turned out dandy.
drum
Diamond Member
- Feb 1, 2003
- 6,810
- 4
- 81
owed a car? yeah... no.
So the kid only needs to get a job to learn work ethic and responsibility if they are a trouble maker? :roll:
I can't think of any better way to learn responsibility than getting a part time or even seasonal job in HS to make money and purchase a car. I paid $1500 for a 10 year old truck when I turned 16 because my parents didn't think it was right to purchase cars for kids. Where did I get the money? I got a job and not only learned responsibility holding a job and school but GASP... learned financial responsibility too!
The horror!!!!!! And surprise, I wasn't a troublemaker :roll:
So the kid only needs to get a job to learn work ethic and responsibility if they are a trouble maker? :roll:
I can't think of any better way to learn responsibility than getting a part time or even seasonal job in HS to make money and purchase a car. I paid $1500 for a 10 year old truck when I turned 16 because my parents didn't think it was right to purchase cars for kids. Where did I get the money? I got a job and not only learned responsibility holding a job and school but GASP... learned financial responsibility too!
The horror!!!!!! And surprise, I wasn't a troublemaker :roll:
CRXican
Diamond Member
- Jun 9, 2004
- 9,062
- 1
- 0
I think the best thing my parents did was to encourage me to get a job near the end of high school. It was part time of course and it was only for my senior year.
Prior to that they did buy me my first car. It was a $1,700 CRX. Had I been forced to save up to buy a car on my own, I probalby wouldn't have wasted the thousands and thousands of dollars I spent on it. I did have the car for 5 years and it was a learning experience.
They also paid for my college education at a state university. I worked during college to pay for just about everything else. Living at home rent free and not having to pay for school is a HUGE gift so I no longer asked for money for gas or to buy things.
I was given more than some and less than others. I would argue that any kid not working to pay their daily expenses and entertaiment doesn't deserve anything more than the basics.
Prior to that they did buy me my first car. It was a $1,700 CRX. Had I been forced to save up to buy a car on my own, I probalby wouldn't have wasted the thousands and thousands of dollars I spent on it. I did have the car for 5 years and it was a learning experience.
They also paid for my college education at a state university. I worked during college to pay for just about everything else. Living at home rent free and not having to pay for school is a HUGE gift so I no longer asked for money for gas or to buy things.
I was given more than some and less than others. I would argue that any kid not working to pay their daily expenses and entertaiment doesn't deserve anything more than the basics.
Zebo
Elite Member
- Jul 29, 2001
- 39,398
- 19
- 81
Agreed never understood it. Seems very anti-family. :thumbsdown:Other cultures kids stay at home longer. A Vietnamese American I went to school with lived at home well into 30's then paid cash for house he and his wife moved into. He was a pharmacist making ~90K and still loved at home for years while making that. At the same time he is expected to take care of his parents one day - not put them in some home.
I will try and be like my friends parents unless they become dead beats then they have to hit the road. My parents were in between because my mom is foreign.
Are you a parent?
I have two kids, both young, and while I certainly feel obligated to provide shelter, food, and a stable, healthy environment until they are mature enough to take care of themselves, I don't feel I am under any obligation to provide them a car, computer, etc. Those are not necessities.
MovingTarget
Diamond Member
- Jun 22, 2003
- 9,002
- 115
- 106
The "kick 'em out when they turn 18" crowd is pretty short-sighted, imho. Making sure a child/young adult gets out in the world on a good footing really helps later in the line when that parent will need help as they age.
So what should be required here? Food, shelter, clothing, education, life-training, attention, and a swift kick in the ass (not out the door though). Besides, there is a HUGE tradition of multi-generational living arrangements despite our cultural emphasis on self-reliance. If you aren't married, then why move out just yet? Use your income to save for a downpayment on a REAL place to live later on. In these tough economic times, it can be good advice, but to each his own...
So what should be required here? Food, shelter, clothing, education, life-training, attention, and a swift kick in the ass (not out the door though). Besides, there is a HUGE tradition of multi-generational living arrangements despite our cultural emphasis on self-reliance. If you aren't married, then why move out just yet? Use your income to save for a downpayment on a REAL place to live later on. In these tough economic times, it can be good advice, but to each his own...
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