Vasectomy at 28: One man's decision

[SoulAssassin]

If they could ever make a vasectomy that was 99.99% reversible I would vote for every 12 year old boy to have one. When you get married and you're ready to have kids, go to the doc, get it undone and have your kids. Eliminates teen/unwed pregnancy and all the associated down the river problems in one step. Granted STD's would probably rise a bit but all in all it would probably be a huge positive step forward.

 

[Xavier434]

I don't really see anything "wrong" with this choice. Kids are not for everyone, but it does leave your life vulnerable for some serious regret. After all, everyone changes overtime. I do question how many of these young males who are getting snipped have considered how they will feel when they are 50-60 years old and they are the oldest ones in their family who are alive with no kids to visit them during the holidays. No immediate family to call on a lonely Saturday afternoon...

Not to mention their future wives if they marry. I am sure there are many cases where the guy gets snipped, marries the love of their life who claims she feels the same way about kids, and then she changes her mind a few years down the road. Then what? I suppose they could always adopt which is fine, but blood is thicker than water. It takes becoming a parent to truly understand that difference.

 

[classy]

To get a vasectomy at the age of 28 is foolish. Especially since he is single with no life beyond his own. And all those reasons he gave is total bs. When he is 60 he will regret it.

 

[Xavier434]

Originally posted by: classy
To get a vasectomy at the age of 28 is foolish. Especially since he is single with no life beyond his own. And all those reasons he gave is total bs. When he is 60 he will regret it.

Exactly, being old and alone has got to be in the top 5 of my worst fears outside of irregular catastrophes that happen in people's lives every blue moon. The only things worse that I can think of are severe cases of mental illness.

 

[Special K]

Originally posted by: Xavier434

Originally posted by: classy
To get a vasectomy at the age of 28 is foolish. Especially since he is single with no life beyond his own. And all those reasons he gave is total bs. When he is 60 he will regret it.

Exactly, being old and alone has got to be in the top 5 of my worst fears outside of irregular catastrophes that happen in people's lives every blue moon. The only things worse that I can think of are severe cases of mental illness.

Just because you hold that fear doesn't mean that everyone necessarily does. I'm not saying I know he won't regret it later, because he might.

It just seems there are some posters in this thread who think there is something fundamentally wrong with someone if they don't want to have any kids.

 

[Special K]

Originally posted by: DangerAardvark

Anyway, I notice that a lot of people knocking this guy talk about how they never wanted kids, but then they had a baby and everything changed. Not DECIDED to have a baby. HAD a baby. It's easy to rationalize parenthood after you're already stuck with it.

Good point.

 

[Xavier434]

Originally posted by: Special K
Just because you hold that fear doesn't mean that everyone necessarily does. I'm not saying I know he won't regret it later, because he might.

It just seems there are some posters in this thread who think there is something fundamentally wrong with someone if they don't want to have any kids.

Refer to my previous post just above that one. My second post was just me expressing how I feel as you pointed out. The first one includes my thoughts on everyone else.

 

[Feneant2]

I'm surprised how rude some people here are considering its his choice.

If anything, I wish they would invent a temporary process by which everyone was unable to conceive until a certain age and even then only by having a full assessment done on the person. No more accidents and unwanted children (although maybe at the cost of civilization eventually ending)

There are too many folks these days with kids who don't deserve them. It's great that you want to be a parent, but you being a crackhead sure isn't going to give your kid the advantages he/she deserves.

 

[classy]

Originally posted by: Special K

Originally posted by: Xavier434

Originally posted by: classy
To get a vasectomy at the age of 28 is foolish. Especially since he is single with no life beyond his own. And all those reasons he gave is total bs. When he is 60 he will regret it.

Exactly, being old and alone has got to be in the top 5 of my worst fears outside of irregular catastrophes that happen in people's lives every blue moon. The only things worse that I can think of are severe cases of mental illness.

Just because you hold that fear doesn't mean that everyone necessarily does. I'm not saying I know he won't regret it later, because he might.

It just seems there are some posters in this thread who think there is something fundamentally wrong with someone if they don't want to have any kids.

Its not about fear or knocking the guy :roll:. Some of us have lived past where this guy is in life. At 28 and single, to decide to have procedure this drastic is, again I reiterate, foolish. There is no possible way at 28 he can be sure he wants no kids. Especially being single. If he was say 28 with one child and said he wants no more, I can see that. And having children is not all about him. If anything he is selfish. If a young woman comes along when he's 30, wants to have children, and he loves her, whats he going to say? Ah sorry but I have to go and have an operation to hopefully fulfill your dream of having a child. This is only one scenario. This is a foolish and selfish decision. And anyone who thinks otherwise is completely clueless.

 

[Xavier434]

Originally posted by: Feneant2
I'm surprised how rude some people here are considering its his choice.

If anything, I wish they would invent a temporary process by which everyone was unable to conceive until a certain age and even then only by having a full assessment done on the person. No more accidents and unwanted children (although maybe at the cost of civilization eventually ending)

There are too many folks these days with kids who don't deserve them. It's great that you want to be a parent, but you being a crackhead sure isn't going to give your kid the advantages he/she deserves.

The assessment part of your idea is really bad. Think about it. What if the government decided that you are an "unqualified parent" when the truth is that you would actually make a very good parent. Sure, the law may start off with just banning the crackheads and the criminals, but you must understand that a law like this is like opening pandora's box. In time, amendments will be made to this law. New qualifications will slowly slip their way into the law because those in power felt that only people who meet such qualifications are worthy of having children.

For example, maybe they would decide to add an amendment which requires a background of no felonies ever. While this would be a good idea for those who committed certain more sever felonies, there are many people out there who made mistakes and have learned from them. Many of those people make better parents than those with clean records.

We have seen this kind of progression with laws in the past where no one considered how the original idea would change and it hasn't been pretty in many cases. Best to leave a freedom as important as this one untouched by the government.

 

[magomago]

Getting a vasectomy would really hinge if I'm on going to get married or not. If I do, and I end up having children - I will definitely snip after the third one comes. I think three is plenty. I would only plan for 2 though - but hesitate to snip then in case I would want a third. Most likely - if I have two and a sufficient amount of time passes (I wouldn't want to have the kids spaced apart over 10 years...) I would probably snip it then.

Sooo

If # Kids = 2 and time=long
snip
elsif # kids =3
then snip
else
no snip

 

[classy]

Originally posted by: Feneant2
I'm surprised how rude some people here are considering its his choice.

If anything, I wish they would invent a temporary process by which everyone was unable to conceive until a certain age and even then only by having a full assessment done on the person. No more accidents and unwanted children (although maybe at the cost of civilization eventually ending)

There are too many folks these days with kids who don't deserve them. It's great that you want to be a parent, but you being a crackhead sure isn't going to give your kid the advantages he/she deserves.

Dude this is not China :roll:

 

[nakedfrog]

Originally posted by: Feneant2
I'm surprised how rude some people here are considering its his choice.

If anything, I wish they would invent a temporary process by which everyone was unable to conceive until a certain age and even then only by having a full assessment done on the person. No more accidents and unwanted children (although maybe at the cost of civilization eventually ending)

There are too many folks these days with kids who don't deserve them. It's great that you want to be a parent, but you being a crackhead sure isn't going to give your kid the advantages he/she deserves.

Are you familiar with eugenics?

 

[Xavier434]

Originally posted by: classy

Originally posted by: Feneant2
I'm surprised how rude some people here are considering its his choice.

If anything, I wish they would invent a temporary process by which everyone was unable to conceive until a certain age and even then only by having a full assessment done on the person. No more accidents and unwanted children (although maybe at the cost of civilization eventually ending)

There are too many folks these days with kids who don't deserve them. It's great that you want to be a parent, but you being a crackhead sure isn't going to give your kid the advantages he/she deserves.

Dude this is not China :roll:

We actually have a very similar system already put in place right now. It's called the adoption qualification process. However, adoption is extremely expensive because the assessment process is very thorough in order to be fair. As we all know, the ratio of those who have their own kids vs those that adopt is very wide spread. The idea of implementing the same process for all Americans who want kids is far more than the government can afford or that us citizens would be willing to pay in taxes. So, if we were to put a system into place in this country for all births, it would probably be really pathetic and unfair.


Even with the expensive adoption process, they still make mistakes! I had a professor in college who was one of the best people you could imagine. He was married to a great wife, had 1 kid of his own, and had 3 adopted children. On top of that, he was LOADED and his kids were his life. Great man. However, while I was taking his class, he was trying to adopt a 4th child. Despite having already qualified 3 times prior and having lots of money and love to share he was denied the adoption. WTF?

 

[rh71]

Cliche, but people do change. As much as he sounds like he's aware it's the 'ultimate decision', he won't know how he'll change.

 

[Batti]

Sounds like we need an ATOT support group for those of us thinking of the procedure.

I, for one, am hoping Ralph the Gay Nurse has retired!

 

[Rogodin2]

so why did you then?

I've not had a vasectomy. Did I post somewhere that I did have one?

You do know what Aristotle's perspective was on childproduction don't you?



Rogo

 

[oiprocs]

Originally posted by: magomago
Getting a vasectomy would really hinge if I'm on going to get married or not. If I do, and I end up having children - I will definitely snip after the third one comes. I think three is plenty. I would only plan for 2 though - but hesitate to snip then in case I would want a third. Most likely - if I have two and a sufficient amount of time passes (I wouldn't want to have the kids spaced apart over 10 years...) I would probably snip it then.

Sooo

If # Kids = 2 and time=long
FAIL
elsif # kids =3
FAIL
else
SNIP NOW BEFORE TOO LATE

Fixed.

 

[CorCentral]

My wife gets a depo shot every 3mths........... Never going to have a kid!

All of you Green saviors of the planet and the idiots from the Global Warming camp.........
My wife (37) and I (33) are doing our part I suppose. No kids= no garbage or pollutants to the earth! I know that's a harsh way to put it, but it's true.

And for those of you speaking crap about if you don't have kids you'll die alone.......... :laugh: I'd rather die alone. No FK'in gossip around my death mind you!

 

[Excelsior]

Originally posted by: JulesMaximus
What a moron. To assume that he'll always feel that way is just plain idiotic. When I was in my 20s I vehemently felt that I did not want children. Then in my 30s my wife got pregnant and I couldn't be happier that I have a son now. I can't imagine growing old and having no children...I think that would be a very lonely existence.

Yep. I might not want kids right now, but I definitely want some later. Its obviously his decision, but I wouldn't do such a thing unless I am older and am done having kids.

I wonder about these people who honestly don't want kids. I know one can't exactly make the case for something being wrong with them, because so many (more than half?) of the folks that are having kids are downright retarded.

 

[HeroOfPellinor]

You know, I always find it interesting how for so many people, happiness hinges on convenience. It's an idea that flies in the face of wise adages from every culture in the world.

Personally, anybody who makes a decision like this is telling the world they are incapable of ever selflessly loving somebody and is therefore somebody I haven't the slightest interest in ever knowing or being involved with.

 

[Rogodin2]

"It's an idea that flies in the face of wise adages from every culture in the world.

Personally, anybody who makes a decision like this is telling the world they are incapable of ever selflessly loving somebody and is therefore somebody I haven't the slightest interest in ever knowing or being involved with. "

It doesn't fly in the face of every culture in the world. I like to generalize but this one is just outrageous! You've really made me laugh!

I won't even try to refute such an invalid claim. Your personal opinion is also irrelvant and without validity.

How old are you?

Rogo

 

[Whoozyerdaddy]

Originally posted by: SearchMaster
My sister-in-law had a hysterectomy at ~32 years old for the same reason. She's always known she didn't want to be a mother.

I'm sure someone else already pointed this out... but a hysterectomy isn't a voluntary reproductive procedure...

Tying her tubes would have been the equivilant of a vasectomy. Hysterectomy is usually done in the presence of cervical cancer or some other potentially life threatening situation.

Hysterectomy = Castration
Tie tubes = Vasectomy

 

[slag]

I had a consultation last night and am going in for a vasectomy tomorrow evening.

I have 3 children and am 33.

Kind of nervous. Dr said it will take 30 mins and i'll want to use lots of ice for the first day.

 

[eakers]

my brother had one done at 26 after having 3 kids.
He had it reversed at 31 to have his 4th.