Vasectomy at 28: One man's decision

[moshquerade]

Originally posted by: Alistar7

Originally posted by: moshquerade

Originally posted by: Alistar7

Originally posted by: scorp00

Originally posted by: Alistar7

Originally posted by: Alistar7

Originally posted by: scorp00
I want to get it done. I'm 25/single/no kids and from what i've read it is hard to find a doctor to do it on someone like me. I don't want kids ever, I don't even want to get married. Both for financial reasons. I make decent money and either one would cost me dearly. I hate how if an accident happens then the guy is totally at the will of the woman. If she want's to keep it then there goes tens of thousands in child support. Think there is any chance I can find a doctor to do it for me? Some of my friends have recently had kids, which makes me even more sure I don't want kids.

What if the woman decides she does not want the child, but the man does? His child is aborted and there is nothing he can do to prevent it from happening. My only qualm with abortion, a man should be able to force a woman to carry his child to term if he is willing to assume full custody and care. In that instance she should have to pay child support whether she excercises her right to be part of that childs life or not.

Still waiting for the fallout from this bomb, no takers?

I don't think he should be able to force her to carry to term, it's her body. I do believe that if I offer to pay for an abortion she should either have to get it or I should not have to ever pay any child support.

You contradicted yourself. You think you should be able to force her to have an abortion, but not carry to term, who are you to tell her what to do with "her body"? In both instances you are doing just that.

I don't buy the "its her body" arguement, it is only the vessel, it is not fundamentally and permantly damaged if she is forced to carry to term. If the man wants the child and the woman does not it should work the same as if the positions were switched, which is the protection mothers enjoy. Equal rights for both parents, not just mothers.

i see where there is some "unfairness" felt by males in this situation, but don't even go there and try to say that the woman's body is not changed after she has given birth. there are definitely some permanent changes.

A woman can recover her figure with proper diet and working out, hormonal changes, not much can be done about that. My point stands, both parents should be have the right to choose, should be given the same rights and standards, and protection under the law.

lol.

ok, how can i say this.... have you ever seen a woman's body prior to having kids and then after? let's just say the vaginal muscles will never be as tight and the boobs will never be as perky. (not to mention stretch marks) i don't care what fantasy you have about proper diet and working out, restoring it all back to exact original condition doesn't happen.

 

[theprodigalrebel]

Not everyone is cut out to be a parent. If you are certain that being a parent is not your thing, good for you.

 

[JackBurton]

Originally posted by: Alistar7
A woman can recover her figure with proper diet and working out, hormonal changes, not much can be done about that. My point stands, both parents should be have the right to choose, should be given the same rights and standards, and protection under the law.

Dude, give it up. It's the woman's body, she has the ultimate say so. Period.

 

[Jeff7]

20 minute outpatient procedure? So I guess this means you're conscious for the procedure. Ick. I don't think I'd stay conscious for long.
I once had a wart burned off of my foot with a laser. I was given two shots of novocaine in my foot. (Making me nauseous just thinking about that.) Once I started smelling my own foot being incinerated away, I just about passed out on the spot.

Any goings-on down below, I don't think I'd want to be awake to endure it, or to form the memory of it happening.

 

[Fritzo]

[

lol.

ok, how can i say this.... have you ever seen a woman's body prior to having kids and then after? let's just say the vaginal muscles will never be as tight and the boobs will never be as perky. (not to mention stretch marks) i don't care what fantasy you have about proper diet and working out, restoring it all back to exact original condition doesn't happen.

It always seems to come down to this, but we'll need before and after pictures to help us decide.

 

[BoberFett]

Originally posted by: Alistar7
BTW, surrogates are not required to pay child support.

Wrong. Sperm donors have been ordered to pay support.

 

[SearchMaster]

Originally posted by: vi_edit

Originally posted by: SearchMaster
My sister-in-law had a hysterectomy at ~32 years old for the same reason. She's always known she didn't want to be a mother.

Women don't have a hysterectomy for the sake of birth control because they don't *want* kids. I don't know of a single doctor that would go through with it on an otherwise healthy 32 year old.

Good call, I completely made it up :roll: If it makes you feel better, her secondary reason was that she hated her monthly visitor.

 

[moshquerade]

Originally posted by: Fritzo

[

lol.

ok, how can i say this.... have you ever seen a woman's body prior to having kids and then after? let's just say the vaginal muscles will never be as tight and the boobs will never be as perky. (not to mention stretch marks) i don't care what fantasy you have about proper diet and working out, restoring it all back to exact original condition doesn't happen.

It always seems to come down to this, but we'll need before and after pictures to help us decide.

unfortunately i had a rude awakening while in a dressing room with my mom. she was trying on bras and i happened a glance at her boobies. they had stretch marks on them and i was aghast being i had never seen that before. i asked her about it. she said it came from having kids.

you don't want pictures of that.

 

[BoberFett]

Originally posted by: Rill22

Originally posted by: Alistar7

Originally posted by: moshquerade
i see where there is some "unfairness" felt by males in this situation, but don't even go there and try to say that the woman's body is not changed after she has given birth. there are definitely some permanent changes.

A woman can recover her figure with proper diet and working out, hormonal changes, not much can be done about that. My point stands, both parents should be have the right to choose, should be given the same rights and standards, and protection under the law.

A woman will never be able to fully recover the same body she had before pregnancy.

And my checkbook will never fully recover from the $150K+ that child support will cost me.

 

[jman19]

Originally posted by: JackBurton

Originally posted by: jman19
Sounds pretty stupid to me. At least he has removed himself from the gene pool :thumbsup:

Unfortunately, the smart responsible people are the ones removing themselves from the gene pool and the rate of moron reproduction is sky rocketing.

I agree, but that is not due to vasectomy. That is due to more couples not having kids, while less educated and poorer people are dropping out kids left and right.

 

[razor2025]

Originally posted by: moshquerade

unfortunately i had a rude awakening while in a dressing room with my mom. she was trying on bras and i happened a glance at her boobies. they had stretch marks on them and i was aghast being i had never seen that before. i asked her about it. she said it came from having kids.

you don't want pictures of that.

Isn't it what the plastic surgery was made for? A boob job + vaginal tightening should be all you need for "recovery". The muffintop can be done away with after pregnancy with diet (or not becoming a pig during pregnancy).

 

[nakedfrog]

Originally posted by: Alistar7

Originally posted by: Alistar7

Originally posted by: scorp00
I want to get it done. I'm 25/single/no kids and from what i've read it is hard to find a doctor to do it on someone like me. I don't want kids ever, I don't even want to get married. Both for financial reasons. I make decent money and either one would cost me dearly. I hate how if an accident happens then the guy is totally at the will of the woman. If she want's to keep it then there goes tens of thousands in child support. Think there is any chance I can find a doctor to do it for me? Some of my friends have recently had kids, which makes me even more sure I don't want kids.

What if the woman decides she does not want the child, but the man does? His child is aborted and there is nothing he can do to prevent it from happening. My only qualm with abortion, a man should be able to force a woman to carry his child to term if he is willing to assume full custody and care. In that instance she should have to pay child support whether she excercises her right to be part of that childs life or not.

Still waiting for the fallout from this bomb, no takers?

What if? Then they break up, and both go on with their lives. It isn't as though it will be terribly difficult for him to inseminate another female.

 

[StageLeft]

Originally posted by: Kaspian
Interesting article Mosh:thumbsup:


For a long time I considered doing the same thing. Ever since I can remember I've never wanted children. The thought of me becoming a father someday never appealed to me. I used to think that way till my daughter was born 5 years ago (I was 30 at the time). Her birth completly changed me completly (for the better). Its a blessing.

People without kids do not and cannot understand what it's like, so they do not appreciate what they are losing to not have them.

 

[zinfamous]

Originally posted by: Fritzo
When he's alone and family-less in his 70's, I'm sure we'll hear a loud "WHAT THE F*** DID I DO THAT FOR????"

People that think like this seem to be self centered to me, and it just rubs me the wrong way. It's like they're saying "My wants and needs are the most important, and I'm not going to share my life or change my lifestyle for any reason."

I kinda feel that way too. I think it's fine for people to do what they want eith their own bodies--but I think I saw this same guy on the Today show yesterday. He explained how he didn't want the responsibility of raising children. I got the impression that he was just a selfish little dweeb who wants to spend the rest of his life going out to clubs every damn night, without having to worry about a couple of little "money pits" back home.

 

[azazyel]

Originally posted by: Vetterin
Well, I got mine done when I was 31 but that was 27 years ago and my wife and I already had three kids which was enough for us. Haven't regretted it yet. FWIW, we're still married (36 years) and still doin the nasty!

At your age that sounds about right....nasty.

 

[azazyel]

This is the best Vasectomy story I've ever heard.


Vasectomy: $400. Speechless look on her face: priceless.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Date: 2007-02-06, 2:24PM PST


I'll try to sum up a funny story that happened a few years ago:

I got a vasectomy.

I met a girl soon afterwards. She was nice and attractive but with a selfish streak that raised a big red flag. She was 32 at the time and I could practically HEAR her biological clock ticking. Regardless, she was a good lay, easy on the eyes, and reasonably good company.

I did NOT tell her about my vasectomy and I always used a condom with her to protect against STDs. She assumed, obviously, that the condom was only used for birth control. Silly girl.

We date for a few months. I never made any move towards commitment but she brought it up ocassionally. For me, this was a casual but pleasant relationship. For her - as I was to find out - it was part of life-changing series of events that she was planning very carefully.

Four months into dating, I get the "I'm pregnant" talk. She's going on and on about how the condom must have broke and now we really need to think about getting married "for the baby". She's positively giddy. She has a baby in her and she thinks she's gonna have a good meal ticket (me) to go along with her new 7lb annuity.


For the rest.....

http://www.craigslist.org/about/best/sea/274495936.html


Edit:

Also, I'm 31 and thinking about getting one. I don't have kids and really don't want them. I have 3 nephews and 4 nieces which helped me realize that I just don't like kids that much.

 

[Pliablemoose]

I had one child at the age of 30, and I had a vasectomy 1 month prior to her birth.

I'd do it again in a heartbeat. There are more than enough people in the world, no need to spread my genet

 

[Sphexi]

I'll be doing it at some point soon here. Already got two kids, don't want any more, and it's to the point where the ONE time me and the wife don't use a condom, another kid comes out. Apparantly I have super sperm or something like that.

 

[djheater]

While having children does not make a person de facto a better person or a more important contributor to society, it should be noted that the primary function of our or any culture is to socialize children.

We're a numerous adaptive species, what we do very well is procreate and socialize children. That being said those who conciously choose not to engage in this are going to feel a little left out in the cold no matter what. The fact of the matter is that having children, at some level in our culture, indicates a stage above adolescence. Not having children will always appear to some people as a selfish or egocentric choice.

I would say that it's fine as far as personal freedom and choice goes, so long as the person doesn't campaign against "all the breeders and their snot-nosed kids". Breeding and children is what our culture, and every other culture, is about (period).

~edit
btw - I have 3 little girls, a happy and sexually satisfying marriage and a vasectomy. I'm done.

 

[ITJunkie]

Big deal...I had it done a month after my second child was born (12 yrs ago). It's actually very liberating to know that birth control is a non-issue.

 

[Alistar7]

Originally posted by: moshquerade

Originally posted by: Alistar7

Originally posted by: moshquerade

Originally posted by: Alistar7

Originally posted by: scorp00

Originally posted by: Alistar7

Originally posted by: Alistar7

Originally posted by: scorp00
I want to get it done. I'm 25/single/no kids and from what i've read it is hard to find a doctor to do it on someone like me. I don't want kids ever, I don't even want to get married. Both for financial reasons. I make decent money and either one would cost me dearly. I hate how if an accident happens then the guy is totally at the will of the woman. If she want's to keep it then there goes tens of thousands in child support. Think there is any chance I can find a doctor to do it for me? Some of my friends have recently had kids, which makes me even more sure I don't want kids.

What if the woman decides she does not want the child, but the man does? His child is aborted and there is nothing he can do to prevent it from happening. My only qualm with abortion, a man should be able to force a woman to carry his child to term if he is willing to assume full custody and care. In that instance she should have to pay child support whether she excercises her right to be part of that childs life or not.

Still waiting for the fallout from this bomb, no takers?

I don't think he should be able to force her to carry to term, it's her body. I do believe that if I offer to pay for an abortion she should either have to get it or I should not have to ever pay any child support.

You contradicted yourself. You think you should be able to force her to have an abortion, but not carry to term, who are you to tell her what to do with "her body"? In both instances you are doing just that.

I don't buy the "its her body" arguement, it is only the vessel, it is not fundamentally and permantly damaged if she is forced to carry to term. If the man wants the child and the woman does not it should work the same as if the positions were switched, which is the protection mothers enjoy. Equal rights for both parents, not just mothers.

i see where there is some "unfairness" felt by males in this situation, but don't even go there and try to say that the woman's body is not changed after she has given birth. there are definitely some permanent changes.

A woman can recover her figure with proper diet and working out, hormonal changes, not much can be done about that. My point stands, both parents should be have the right to choose, should be given the same rights and standards, and protection under the law.

lol.

ok, how can i say this.... have you ever seen a woman's body prior to having kids and then after? let's just say the vaginal muscles will never be as tight and the boobs will never be as perky. (not to mention stretch marks) i don't care what fantasy you have about proper diet and working out, restoring it all back to exact original condition doesn't happen.

Yes I have, both directly (within 2 weeks) after giving birth and years down the road. I agree it will never be EXACTLY the same, but it is not as if she will somehow be grossly disfigured or will grow a third breast. I have also seen woman that have multiple children whose figures are damn near exactly as they were beforehand. Breasts sag with age, not only childbirth, but boob jobs are the answer there, stretch marks and any other physical differences can also be corrected with plastic surgery.

IMHO these are minor issues when compared to a fathers right to decide whether he wants to keep HIS child irregardless of the woman's decision. The "it's her body" arguement is widely misunderstood and misused when compared against the literal meaning of Roe Vs Wade. The woman's right to choose whether or not to give birth to a child already conceived was the core principle, not the effects of pregnancy on her body.

I still stand in my belief that a father should have the same right to decide whether to keep the child if he desires. That right should apply to both parents equally, if not, it is just gender discrimination.

 

[Rill22]

Originally posted by: zinfamous

Originally posted by: Fritzo
When he's alone and family-less in his 70's, I'm sure we'll hear a loud "WHAT THE F*** DID I DO THAT FOR????"

People that think like this seem to be self centered to me, and it just rubs me the wrong way. It's like they're saying "My wants and needs are the most important, and I'm not going to share my life or change my lifestyle for any reason."

I kinda feel that way too. I think it's fine for people to do what they want eith their own bodies--but I think I saw this same guy on the Today show yesterday. He explained how he didn't want the responsibility of raising children. I got the impression that he was just a selfish little dweeb who wants to spend the rest of his life going out to clubs every damn night, without having to worry about a couple of little "money pits" back home.

If you're under the impression he just wants to go out to clubs every night and not have to deal with worrying about kids back home, isn't that a good thing he's not having kids then?

 

[Special K]

Originally posted by: zinfamous

Originally posted by: Fritzo
When he's alone and family-less in his 70's, I'm sure we'll hear a loud "WHAT THE F*** DID I DO THAT FOR????"

People that think like this seem to be self centered to me, and it just rubs me the wrong way. It's like they're saying "My wants and needs are the most important, and I'm not going to share my life or change my lifestyle for any reason."

I kinda feel that way too. I think it's fine for people to do what they want eith their own bodies--but I think I saw this same guy on the Today show yesterday. He explained how he didn't want the responsibility of raising children. I got the impression that he was just a selfish little dweeb who wants to spend the rest of his life going out to clubs every damn night, without having to worry about a couple of little "money pits" back home.

It's one thing to have kids, and then not provide for them according to your means because you would rather save all the money for yourself. I would call that selfish.

However, if a couple decides never to have kids, even if their motivation is primarily financial, I don't see why they should be judged as bad for doing so. As long as they don't express negative feelings toward others with children, I don't see what the problem is. Having kids should be a personal decision, and no couple should have to feel like they are doing something wrong by deciding to never have kids.

If the guy in your example never wants to have kids so he can go out and have fun every night without the responsibility of kids, who are we to judge him for it? Again, if he had the kids first and then decided to live like that, then I would say that is a serious problem. However, if he never has kids because he does not want that responsibility, then I think that is his (and his SO's) personal decision, and they should not be looked down upon for it.

 

[Fritzo]

Originally posted by: Jeff7
20 minute outpatient procedure? So I guess this means you're conscious for the procedure. Ick. I don't think I'd stay conscious for long.
I once had a wart burned off of my foot with a laser. I was given two shots of novocaine in my foot. (Making me nauseous just thinking about that.) Once I started smelling my own foot being incinerated away, I just about passed out on the spot.

Any goings-on down below, I don't think I'd want to be awake to endure it, or to form the memory of it happening.

My experience:

Went to Dr. Dick Tapper (real name!), had to put on one of those "show your butt" hospital gowns, and lay on a table with my legs in stirrups. At that time, 'Ralph the Gay Nurse' came skipping in with a disposable razor and some iodine. We warned me "I gotta shave ya down here- teehee".

So, to recap so far, my legs are tied to metal rods and spread apart, and a flaming nurse is dragging a .50 razor blade over my sack. I found this a bit traumatic. When he was done, he rubbed iodine all over the daddy parts (and spent about 7 seconds more than needed to do it I might add) and then skipped out.

A few minutes later, the doctor came in, but on what looked like a miner's helmet, put a sheet over my lower half, then introduced himself. 'Ralph the Gay Nurse' mentioned "this'll be an easy one." Dr. Tapper replied with something about "yeah...I like the big ones. Lots to work with. (again, not making this up or bragging, that's what he said)." The good Dr. whipped out a needle the size of a horse leg and with no hesitation JABBED IT INTO MY RIGHT NUT. After which, he gave the "You might feed a pinch" warning. That was some pinch. He then informed me that was just to numb the area for the REAL anesthetic (*gulp*). They then bring in a needle about as big as the rest of the horse. The Dr. says "You shouldn't feel this"....but, oh yes, I did. It felt like being kicked by stiletto heels- and you all know what that's like. It took my breath away and I couldn't even scream! He then grabbed a scalpel and a miniature meat hook, and the next few minutes went blank.

Then there was burning. Smoke. Sizzling....WTF???? I looked down and he had what looked like a soldiering iron with SKIN HANGING FROM IT. He was whistling while getting a needle and thread off the table, then started knitting a sweater or something down there (at that point I couldn't tell---it was all a blur). Turned out it was just stitches.

I left, got a prescription for pain and antibiotics, and went home. Something didn't feel quite right, so I went to take a look at the handiwork. They left poor Mr. Happy TAPED to my stomach! I couldn't feel it because of the numbing, and now surgical tape was melded to my skin :| I called the Dr's office and he said to use warm water to pull it off. That didn't help much---there was much bruising and pain :|

So, no, it didn't go easy for me, but at least I don't have to worry about "things" anymore

 

[Alistar7]

Originally posted by: BoberFett

Originally posted by: Alistar7
BTW, surrogates are not required to pay child support.

Wrong. Sperm donors have been ordered to pay support.

http://www.foxnews.com/story/0,2933,271116,00.html

"I'm unaware of any other state appellate court that has found that a child has, simultaneously, three adults who are financially obligated to the child's support and are also entitled to visitation," said New York Law School professor Arthur S. Leonard, an expert on sexuality and the law.

"Part of the decision came down because he was so involved with them," Jacob said Wednesday. "It wasn't that he went to the (sperm) bank and that was it. They called him Papa."

Not exactly the traditional sperm donor, and thanks to this I am sure we will see sperm donors and recipients having to agree that the donor will not be required to pay support.

http://www.post-gazette.com/pg/07130/784968-100.stm

HARRISBURG -- A sperm donor who helped a lesbian couple conceive two children is liable for child support under a state appeals-court ruling that a legal expert believes might be the first of its kind.

You might want to remove the plural classification, it has happened once apparently.