Vasectomy at 28: One man's decision

[DAGTA]

Originally posted by: DougK62
I don't understand all of the distaste for someone deciding they don't want children. It's a personal choice, and is in no way selfish.

What about...priests? They've chosen to not have children, so are they being selfish too?

yeah, i'm confused by this, too. I think having children is more selfish than not having children in the current state of the USA, at least.

 

[oiprocs]

Hmm, I would, but I know that most chicks want to have children.

So maybe I have 1, and then snip snip.

 

[DisgruntledVirus]

I'm 22 and want one....

Unfortunately they won't let me right now....

 

[Geekbabe]

Originally posted by: Alistar7

Originally posted by: moshquerade

Originally posted by: Alistar7

Originally posted by: moshquerade

Originally posted by: Alistar7

Originally posted by: scorp00

Originally posted by: Alistar7

Originally posted by: Alistar7

Originally posted by: scorp00
I want to get it done. I'm 25/single/no kids and from what i've read it is hard to find a doctor to do it on someone like me. I don't want kids ever, I don't even want to get married. Both for financial reasons. I make decent money and either one would cost me dearly. I hate how if an accident happens then the guy is totally at the will of the woman. If she want's to keep it then there goes tens of thousands in child support. Think there is any chance I can find a doctor to do it for me? Some of my friends have recently had kids, which makes me even more sure I don't want kids.

What if the woman decides she does not want the child, but the man does? His child is aborted and there is nothing he can do to prevent it from happening. My only qualm with abortion, a man should be able to force a woman to carry his child to term if he is willing to assume full custody and care. In that instance she should have to pay child support whether she excercises her right to be part of that childs life or not.

Still waiting for the fallout from this bomb, no takers?

I don't think he should be able to force her to carry to term, it's her body. I do believe that if I offer to pay for an abortion she should either have to get it or I should not have to ever pay any child support.

You contradicted yourself. You think you should be able to force her to have an abortion, but not carry to term, who are you to tell her what to do with "her body"? In both instances you are doing just that.

I don't buy the "its her body" arguement, it is only the vessel, it is not fundamentally and permantly damaged if she is forced to carry to term. If the man wants the child and the woman does not it should work the same as if the positions were switched, which is the protection mothers enjoy. Equal rights for both parents, not just mothers.

i see where there is some "unfairness" felt by males in this situation, but don't even go there and try to say that the woman's body is not changed after she has given birth. there are definitely some permanent changes.

A woman can recover her figure with proper diet and working out, hormonal changes, not much can be done about that. My point stands, both parents should be have the right to choose, should be given the same rights and standards, and protection under the law.

lol.

ok, how can i say this.... have you ever seen a woman's body prior to having kids and then after? let's just say the vaginal muscles will never be as tight and the boobs will never be as perky. (not to mention stretch marks) i don't care what fantasy you have about proper diet and working out, restoring it all back to exact original condition doesn't happen.

Yes I have, both directly (within 2 weeks) after giving birth and years down the road. I agree it will never be EXACTLY the same, but it is not as if she will somehow be grossly disfigured or will grow a third breast. I have also seen woman that have multiple children whose figures are damn near exactly as they were beforehand. Breasts sag with age, not only childbirth, but boob jobs are the answer there, stretch marks and any other physical differences can also be corrected with plastic surgery.

IMHO these are minor issues when compared to a fathers right to decide whether he wants to keep HIS child irregardless of the woman's decision. The "it's her body" arguement is widely misunderstood and misused when compared against the literal meaning of Roe Vs Wade. The woman's right to choose whether or not to give birth to a child already conceived was the core principle, not the effects of pregnancy on her body.

I still stand in my belief that a father should have the same right to decide whether to keep the child if he desires. That right should apply to both parents equally, if not, it is just gender discrimination.

How's paying for all this plastic surgery? And who's going to pay to keep the woman in jail to ensure that she doesn't abort, that she doesn't smoke, drink or do drugs?
Does Daddy get to decide she'll be having natural child birth? will she be shackled to the delivery table?

Oh, and what happens if the mother is unlucky, if she bleeds out and dies or has other serious life altering medical problems? what if the child is
defective?

 

[kranky]

Had it done when I was 30. I know (and have always known) I'm not the type of person who would be a good father and when you fail at that, you have done a child wrong. I didn't want that. It had nothing to do with being selfish. I didn't long to be "unencumbered" or to travel the world. I didn't see it in terms of being tied down or not. I just didn't want to be lousy at fatherhood for a child's sake.

 

[oiprocs]

Originally posted by: DisgruntledVirus
I'm 22 and want one....

Unfortunately they won't let me right now....

The fuck? Who won't let you?

Keep going to urologist after urologist. And if that don't work, hit up a foreign country, where they'll do that shit right off the bat, no questions asked, and charge you maybe $300, $400.

 

[MrDudeMan]

Originally posted by: kranky
Had it done when I was 30. I know (and have always known) I'm not the type of person who would be a good father and when you fail at that, you have done a child wrong. I didn't want that. It had nothing to do with being selfish. I didn't long to be "unencumbered" or to travel the world. I didn't see it in terms of being tied down or not. I just didn't want to be lousy at fatherhood for a child's sake.

Sounds like a cop out tbh, but whatever works for you.

 

[MrDudeMan]

Originally posted by: scorpious

Originally posted by: DisgruntledVirus
I'm 22 and want one....

Unfortunately they won't let me right now....

The fuck? Who won't let you?

Keep going to urologist after urologist. And if that don't work, hit up a foreign country, where they'll do that shit right off the bat, no questions asked, and charge you maybe $300, $400.

They won't "let" him because it is an incredibly stupid thing to do at that age and they don't want to be responsible for it.

 

[Chaotic42]

Originally posted by: MrDudeMan
They won't "let" him because it is an incredibly stupid thing to do at that age and they don't want to be responsible for it.

Personal responsibility. If he signs a paper saying he wants it done, there shouldn't be any legal issues for the urologist.

 

[Mide]

Kids do not equal happiness for all people.

 

[frostedflakes]

Originally posted by: Chaotic42

Originally posted by: MrDudeMan
They won't "let" him because it is an incredibly stupid thing to do at that age and they don't want to be responsible for it.

Personal responsibility. If he signs a paper saying he wants it done, there shouldn't be any legal issues for the urologist.

This. I mean it's not like it's a particularly risky procedure, as long as the person signed a consent form I don't see why the doctor would be opposed to it.

Also, kind of an interesting and related story. Don't know if it's true, but I wouldn't be surprised if there are women like this out there. Can't really blame guys for wanting to block off the sperm factory, it's probably a good idea if you are reasonably sure you don't want kids. And it's not like you can't get some frozen before the procedure in case you ever change your mind.

http://www.craigslist.org/about/best/sea/274495936.html

 

[Old Hippie]

I had it done when I was 30.

I never wanted kids but even at 30 the Doc was rather reluctant until I told him, "If you won't do it, I'll find someone that will".

 

[WhipperSnapper]

He won't have to worry about having to suffer involuntary fatherhood, but at the same time he's also given up a chance at voluntary fatherhood. Let's just hope that one day we have a male pill or "paper abortions for men" so that no man who fears involuntary fatherhood need do this unless he really wants to.

 

[xSauronx]

Originally posted by: MrDudeMan

Originally posted by: scorpious

Originally posted by: DisgruntledVirus
I'm 22 and want one....

Unfortunately they won't let me right now....

The fuck? Who won't let you?

Keep going to urologist after urologist. And if that don't work, hit up a foreign country, where they'll do that shit right off the bat, no questions asked, and charge you maybe $300, $400.

They won't "let" him because it is an incredibly stupid thing to do at that age and they don't want to be responsible for it.

i dont think its stupid. shortsighted, maybe, but not stupid. *having* a kid at 22 is closer to stupid. hell, i had kids at 18 and 20, and i love them....but it was stupid of me. he knows what he wants now, which may or may not change...but he can adopt later or something if it comes down to it. theres not a good way to undo having kids if you decide later "ehh...do not want"

 

[Cattlegod]

dude, i never thought about having the procedure done and banking some sperm. that sounds like a good plan actually - don't have to worry about any accidents.

 

[kalrith]

I'm 28 with a 6mo boy. I've joked with my wife about having the procedure, but I think I would have it in a heartbeat if she weren't against it. I only want one child. My wife had a LOT of complications with our son, and we both agree that we don't want to go through that again and put her and the baby at risk. At this point we don't want any more children. If we change our minds, we plan to adopt regardless of whether I've had a vasectomy.

 

[frostedflakes]

Originally posted by: Cattlegod
dude, i never thought about having the procedure done and banking some sperm. that sounds like a good plan actually - don't have to worry about any accidents.

There's a limit to how long it can be stored, though, IIRC 10 years is the upper limit. For most guys that's probably enough time, though.