The Last Words of Programmer, Bill Zeller.

[nanette1985]

Sad thread.

I don't know which is sadder, the original guy or the attitude in some of the responses.

 

[cKGunslinger]

I feel an evil inside me.

An evil that makes me want to end life.

I need to stop this.

I need to make sure I don't kill someone.
===================================
Good riddance, one less piece of shit around :thumbsup:

Wow..

 

[slayer202]

As others have shown, your doubts have been disproved.

As for you thinking this was poorly written just because it's longer than your water spaniel attention span can encompass, that's simply not so. It's quite well written and packs quite the emotional wallop.

You are doomed to live in the intellectual and emotional ghetto of your own personal Cliff Notes land. A walk through the ocean of your soul would scarcely get your feet wet.

lol wtf...



anyway, back to reality, this thread is pretty tame compared to what I expected. trolls being trolls but relatively lame

 

[Capt Caveman]

I feel an evil inside me.

An evil that makes me want to end life.

I need to stop this.

I need to make sure I don't kill someone.
===================================
Good riddance, one less piece of shit around :thumbsup:

Again, you prove to everyone how much of waste of space you are. B/c you've failed at everything in life doesn't mean you have to continue being a piece of shit. I still can't figure out how you're unbanned time after time when all you do is lie and add negative value to the forum.

 

[grrl]

Again, you prove to everyone how much of waste of space you are. B/c you've failed at everything in life doesn't mean you have to continue being a piece of shit. I still can't figure out how you're unbanned time after time when all you do is lie and add negative value to the forum.

In his defense, dmcowen674 did give ATOT the vinegar thread. Other than that though, I'm at a loss to find any redeeming value.

 

[sandorski]

I think some of the replies in this thread are more depressing than the story itself.

Indeed.

 

[FelixDeCat]

And you people that cheer on teachers who molest students should be ashamed of yourselves.

Look at what happened to this man after he was molested!

Its all the same.

Just because you think a teacher is hot or whatever does not give anyone the right to do things like that to people under 18.

Ever.

 

[bfdd]

lets ask him if he's having any regrets... oh wait lol

 

[0roo0roo]

And you people that cheer on teachers who molest students should be ashamed of yourselves.

Look at what happened to this man after he was molested!

Its all the same.

Just because you think a teacher is hot or whatever does not give anyone the right to do things like that to people under 18.

Ever.

comparing teens having sex with their teachers to vicious sodomizing rape of prepubescent children leaving permanent physical injury is ridiculous and shows how out of wack your post is. I'd go as far as saying it is almost trollish.

 

[FelixDeCat]

comparing teens having sex with their teachers to vicious sodomizing rape of prepubescent children leaving permanent physical injury is ridiculous and shows how out of wack your post is. I'd go as far as saying it is almost trollish.

Its all the same in my book.

And who is to say that any of these teens (who invariably report the activity to police) will not be harmed greatly by something that should NOT have ever have happened in the first place? You? Ok, point back to your distinction again. Your opinion is popular and will be shared by most because of our foul, decadent and sinful society.

Adults need to behave like adults and be responsible for their actions when it comes to children under the age of 18. The responsibility will always be theirs. Period.

 

[tcsenter]

He identified the problem, but chose not to do anything about it. He resigned his life very early on. Aside from what happened to him early on in life, he is solely responsible for everything else that he caused himself. If you can take the time to analyze your life like that, suicide is just a cop out.

Go fuck yourself. If he can take the time to analyze his life like that, then he's doing everything that some fucking therapist could or would do for him, except he's doing it even more openly and honestly with himself than anyone who has experienced so much darkness could ever do with another.

The notion that the guy somehow was responsible for his own unrelenting pain that wouldn't ever leave and always came back no matter what...just go fuck yourself. He struggled with this every day for 20+ years. What the fuck have you ever done that required so much strength?

 

[Powermoloch]

damn that's deep. It's a shame he didn't have enough strength/willpower/courage to look past his nightmares and make positive changes in his life...

RIP

 

[Ricemarine]

That's really a sad story. It's true his misery and lack of trust in people was all self-fulfilling if he couldn't bring himself to discuss the actual root of his problems with loved ones or experts. His interpretations of his life experiences didn't exactly lend themselves well to seeking help for his trauma.

Also, he was pretty young to be going through all that by himself. He clearly didn't have a family he felt he could confide or seek refuge in. And I'd be hard pressed to trust the vast majority of peers in highschool or early college either.

Rape definitely does change a person, and sometimes defines them and how they interact with people and move through life. Thankfully, I don't know anyone who's committed suicide, but I have close relationships with some victims of rape and abuse. Some people just cope with it differently.

I can't fathom his experiences but I can imagine that if I felt I was forcibly "acting" every interaction in my life, while constantly suffering inside my own head, that at some point you just get exhausted. You get tired of fighting and you want relief.

This is IMO a good interpretation. It really is troublesome when you have to decide whether or not it's really appropriate to have others step in for your problems. The problem can also be easily exacerbated if someone confides in too many people or the wrong kind (who will eventually look down upon you as a victim and will never be able to see you eye to eye). Either way, the relentless reminders of such actions that haunted him from the beginning along with the unhelpfulness of people who should be considered close had gotten to him at what seems to be another low point of his life. Thus, in the end, being lonely and unable to confide in others, in his eyes, his final actions were justifiable (to an extent possibly).

He did attempt to make steps into seeing professionals. However, it could be assumed that most of the professionals he had seen were attempting to fix his issues at a much shallower level. Since in his writing he had stated that they had a hard time understanding him (trying to reread their notes, etc.), he had found such efforts futile.

(Bsing some grammar/words).

Nonetheless, RIP.

 

[JulesMaximus]

Well...that was depressing. :'(

RIP dude.

 

[dmcowen674]

its better he did this than go out and ah heck kids himself or become a serial killer

Exactly, all these people condoning that he wanted to kill someone yet I'm the piece of shit.

The Feds should be watching the people on this board that support killing like the people on here do, wouldn't be surprised that they find serial murderers hiding behind the keyboard.

 

[waggy]

damn that's deep. It's a shame he didn't have enough strength/willpower/courage to look past his nightmares and make positive changes in his life...

RIP

usually i would agree. But he put up with years of being raped. over and over and over again.

something like that changes you deep down. to a point NO matter what you do you can't change it. its not a question of strength or willpower. its being destroyed at a young age and not knowing a difference.

i think suicide is disgusting. To many times (i would say damn near 90%) when a person does commit suicide its because they are weak and they do it over something fucking stupid.

This is one of the rare cases i hope that God can forgive him for the sin. I also don't blame the guy.

 

[Ricemarine]

usually i would agree. But he put up with years of being raped. over and over and over again.

something like that changes you deep down. to a point NO matter what you do you can't change it. its not a question of strength or willpower. its being destroyed at a young age and not knowing a difference.

i think suicide is disgusting. To many times (i would say damn near 90&#37 when a person does commit suicide its because they are weak and they do it over something fucking stupid.

This is one of the rare cases i hope that God can forgive him for the sin. I also don't blame the guy.

I would agree with what you mostly said. The quote you were responding to I couldn't agree with but I didn't have the right reason why.

 

[Jadow]

he prolonged his life like 2 years writing that spiel

 

[0roo0roo]

Its all the same in my book.

And who is to say that any of these teens (who invariably report the activity to police) will not be harmed greatly by something that should NOT have ever have happened in the first place? You? Ok, point back to your distinction again. Your opinion is popular and will be shared by most because of our foul, decadent and sinful society.

Adults need to behave like adults and be responsible for their actions when it comes to children under the age of 18. The responsibility will always be theirs. Period.

oh bull, you want to get on your high horse? Fine lets all get on a high horse, it takes a seriously warped kind of moral judgement to be unable to see the vast difference between violent sodomization of prepubscent children to teens having sex with young teachers. i'm sure when a teen runs over someone you love and kills them they won't be responsible, after all, they weren't an adult. give me a f*cking break. get over your bs with decadent sinful society, it is a simple distinction made based on reason. having sex with your teach is not the same as raping little children. your over simplistic morality is what is wrong with society.

 

[MagnusTheBrewer]

Good Lord! He sounds like the average ATOTer.

 

[cKGunslinger]

Exactly, all these people condoning that he wanted to kill someone yet I'm the piece of shit.

"You went full retard, man. Never go full retard.."

 

[yllus]

Very sad. I am glad/hope that he got whatever he wanted to get off of his chest.

 

[dmcowen674]

"You went full retard, man. Never go full retard.."

Hey hey hey, never do anything half assed

 

[IndyColtsFan]

Exactly, all these people condoning that he wanted to kill someone yet I'm the piece of shit.

You're a disgusting human being.

 

[HAL9000]

You're a disgusting human being.

This. x1000