Tales from the retail world...

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Fingolfin269

Lifer
Feb 28, 2003
17,948
34
91
Worked at Blockbuster when DVDs first hit the shelves....

"Hey man why can't I get this DVD to work in my player?" was the customer question.

We talked about it for a few minutes and I finally had to ask the guy... "You do have a DVD player right?"

"Oh, this isn't something new for my VCR?"



**EDIT** I just realized how old this thread is and have probably already posted it in here somewhere. :p
 

So

Lifer
Jul 2, 2001
25,923
17
81
Originally posted by: Fingolfin269
Worked at Blockbuster when DVDs first hit the shelves....

"Hey man why can't I get this DVD to work in my player?" was the customer question.

We talked about it for a few minutes and I finally had to ask the guy... "You do have a DVD player right?"

"Oh, this isn't something new for my VCR?"



**EDIT** I just realized how old this thread is and have probably already posted it in here somewhere. :p

So? Keep posting your old stories. :)
 
Dec 26, 2007
11,782
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I dunno if I have posted them in here or not but I'll repost em :p

I worked at CVS from 18-19 for a bit over a year, and it was the most entertaining job I've had.

Truck night we get a call from the dispatch place saying our driver is sick, and it will be late. So about 2-3 hours after it should have arrived it gets to the store. My manager goes to get some stuff done in the office real quick while the driver backs the truck up to our door (we had an unloading dock, but couldn't use it because it was about 1 ft misaligned with the roll up door). Well he gives us the paper work and starts backing up. I had gone inside to move some last minute things as he backed up. Then all of a sudden the lights from outside started to dim, and when I look up I see the truck about 3 ft away from the side of the building. I am thinking "oh shit this isn't good", and then I hear the metal door start bending and getting ripped off the hinges. The truck still didn't stop, and ended up hitting the side of the building taking out our overhead light. The driver tried to blame me for not telling him when to stop, but he never asked and it wasn't standard procedure. It was pretty funny for sure. We couldn't close the door to the stock room, so we moved a big box in front of it. The manager called a company to come fix it enough to be used until we could get it replaced. The company got there in a white van, took the door put something under the middle, drove the van on to one side, and jumped on the other (like a teeter totter) to try to straighten it out. That didn't work entirely so they put it on the ground, and started running it over back and forth with the van. It was a funny night for sure :p

Our photolab was semi-old and our region got upgrades to newer machines, and so we had to get trained on them. Well the first night of training the machine broke and we went to another store. The second night of training we get there and the machines down again, with the tech working on it. So we are standing around talking waiting for him to be done, and we see the photo lab supervisor come out of the office laughing. So we ask whats funny. She refused to tell us and just said "go in the stock room". So we go back there and see the store manager (a 5 ft tall korean dude that you couldn't understand), crouched down swearing in english and korean by the female products and incotinence stuff. When we get closer we see a pile of shit there with a pack of depends ripped open and used as TP. We checked the tapes and never could find who it was that went back there to do it, but we think that they went back there looking for the bathroom, realized it wasn't there, and decided to just use some depends...

I have more but don't remember right now, and gotta get back to work :p

 

acheron

Diamond Member
May 27, 2008
3,171
2
81
Wow, this thread delivers. :thumbsup:

I never did real retail -- I worked in a movie theater for a bit, and then as a bank teller. No real stupid customer stories though.
 

chitwood

Golden Member
Aug 21, 2008
1,208
59
91
This was many years ago, I was in a Best Buy and all of a sudden the sensor alarm at the front of the store went off. I look up to see this guy just casually walking past it and right out the door like nothing's happening. Obviously two Best Buy employees go after him and bring him back into the store, almost immediately they find a copy of Mortal Kombat inside the guy's jacket. Apparently his big plan was to just walk right out of the store without paying for it.

 

shortylickens

No Lifer
Jul 15, 2003
80,287
17,082
136
Quoting myself cuz I didnt wanna retype it.

Originally posted by: shortylickens
Last Xmas season I had been feeling sorry for myself. My job was making me miserable and I often find if I do something to help someone else then my life gets a little better.

Went to get something cheap from Best Buy (I needed it in a hurry, forgive me) and got it and went home. Soon as I got home and opened it I realized it was not what I needed.
Went back right away, probably less than an hour after I had left. Went straight to the Returns desk and stood in line. They had a bunch of newbs in training (getting ready for the big Christmas return rush, I assume) and they were having a heck of a time dealing with the customers. Many of them were awefully angry considering it was still several weeks before Christmas.

The trainer was doing a good job helping each newb and dealing with the irate customers. I've never seen such a young lady multi-task so well.
One of the poor newbs got to me and I asked to return my item. He said he was sorry but they dont take returns on this kind of item if its been opened. I put on my sad puppy-dog look. It rarely works and especially not with stores, but its always worth a shot.
Nice trainer lady came over and said "no problem". She said she had vaguely recalled me being in there earlier and getting the item.
She went ahead and did the full refund for me. No repackage cost or anything.
Then she turned around and charged right back into the angry mob.

I felt a little sorry for her right then. She had managed to be very kind and helpful on a rotten day.
Went home again and immediately wrote up a fancy thank-you note on the cards my mother had sent me the previous year. Got the mailing address from their website and put it in the mail that afternoon.

Hopefully it made her day a little better.

Folks, we all know darn well that retail people have to deal with 10 times the normal bullshit from Thanksgiving to New Years. If you could just make the effort to send one thank-you card to somebody it may mean the difference between happiness and misery for them.

Please, please, PLEASE be nice to the retail folks this season. The economy is doing poorly and a lot of them arent sure if they will be employed next year.
They had to deal with a ton of assholes and violent psychos over the Thanksgiving sales. The corporation sets policy and theres a 99% chance that what you're angry about isn't their fault. Not to mention that you will probably have a lot of built up anger this time of year and will be looking for a place to vent.
They will have to deal with even more assholes over the next few weeks.
If you dont wish to do anything really nice just be middle of the road and hold back the urge to assault them.


Much thanks and happy christmas.
 

axelfox

Diamond Member
Oct 13, 1999
6,719
1
0
Originally posted by: chitwood
This was many years ago, I was in a Best Buy and all of a sudden the sensor alarm at the front of the store went off. I look up to see this guy just casually walking past it and right out the door like nothing's happening. Obviously two Best Buy employees go after him and bring him back into the store, almost immediately they find a copy of Mortal Kombat inside the guy's jacket. Apparently his big plan was to just walk right out of the store without paying for it.

Good thing you said "many years ago" :p
 

Lummex

Senior member
Apr 6, 2008
867
1
76
I have some slighty boring ones, but they still baffle me.

I used to work at Papa Johns, and there were a lot of bitchy/asshole/dumbfuck customers. But the one that pisses me off and confuses me the most is when this lady called and asked for a pizza with no cheese. Just sauce and some pepperoni or whatever. She said she was allergic to cheese. I clarified this with her, I made sure she did not want cheese on her pizza. She made sure to repeat herself too. When the pizza was being made, the managers and other employees also made sure this was the correct order. They called the woman back to make sure again. There was no problem, she clarified that she didn't want cheese. When she recieves the pizza, the manager gets an angry phone call from her, she is so pissed and asks "How am I supposed to eat a pizza without cheese?!?!!? BLAH BLAH BLAH you guys are so dumb! OMG WTF" So we give her a free pizza credit. That was annoying. What a bitch.

And then this one is not retail and I think I've told this story before. When I worked as a computer lab moniter, I would help with minor problems the users may have. This one guy asked me to help him open his flash drive he just put in. So I go over and minimize the paper he was working on, and he says "Uhh, did you save that?" with his eyes tearing up and his voice cracking like he was about to cry. I showed him that I just minimized it and he starts breathing again. I thought that was hilarious.
 

Elstupido

Senior member
Jan 28, 2008
643
0
0
Last week had a guy come in and ask if we sold extension cords with two male ends. I started laughing my ass off and said you're kidding right? Then he really got pissed and told me to go fuck myself. I laughed even harder.

Had the same question a day later. This happens every time this year when the dumbasses try to put up Christmas lights with the female end of the lights on the wrong end they are trying to plug into the outlet.

"Sure, we have a ton of them on the next aisle"
 

MagnusTheBrewer

IN MEMORIAM
Jun 19, 2004
24,122
1,594
126
Originally posted by: Elstupido
Last week had a guy come in and ask if we sold extension cords with two male ends. I started laughing my ass off and said you're kidding right? Then he really got pissed and told me to go fuck myself. I laughed even harder.

Had the same question a day later. This happens every time this year when the dumbasses try to put up Christmas lights with the female end of the lights on the wrong end they are trying to plug into the outlet.

"Sure, we have a ton of them on the next aisle"

You missed the opportunity to sell him an extension cord, wire strippers and, a male plug.
 

Zenmervolt

Elite member
Oct 22, 2000
24,514
44
91
Originally posted by: Elstupido
Last week had a guy come in and ask if we sold extension cords with two male ends. I started laughing my ass off and said you're kidding right? Then he really got pissed and told me to go fuck myself. I laughed even harder.

Had the same question a day later. This happens every time this year when the dumbasses try to put up Christmas lights with the female end of the lights on the wrong end they are trying to plug into the outlet.

"Sure, we have a ton of them on the next aisle"

Holy crap, I could make a fortune selling those at Christmas time!

ZV
 

Elstupido

Senior member
Jan 28, 2008
643
0
0
Originally posted by: MagnusTheBrewer
Originally posted by: Elstupido
Last week had a guy come in and ask if we sold extension cords with two male ends. I started laughing my ass off and said you're kidding right? Then he really got pissed and told me to go fuck myself. I laughed even harder.

Had the same question a day later. This happens every time this year when the dumbasses try to put up Christmas lights with the female end of the lights on the wrong end they are trying to plug into the outlet.

"Sure, we have a ton of them on the next aisle"

You missed the opportunity to sell him an extension cord, wire strippers and, a male plug.

And a screwdriver LMAO
 

Paladin3

Diamond Member
Mar 5, 2004
4,933
878
126
I was reading for an hour before I realized this is a 3 ½ year old thread! Nice work!

I worked at a Kmart and at Christmas my job was to run the famous Blue Light around the store announcing ?attention Kmart shoppers, we have a blue light special for the next 15 minutes in sporting goods??. This was back in the price tag sticker days and customers would always try to sneak in non-sale merchandise to get marked down as well. Old lady shoppers would flirt with me (I was 19 at the time) trying to get a peek at my list of sales for the evening. If we only had a few of a popular items left it was like a mini door buster riot and things got ugly. I?ve never seen people fight over such crap in my life and I had to do it every 15 minutes for 4 hours a night.

We also couldn?t have a package or diapers, feminine products, underwear or socks on the shelf without someone tearing it open and stealing one. It got so bad we had to put a trashcan in the infants department because people would change their kids and leave the dirty diaper on the floor. I won?t mention the other gifts they left around for us to find.

We had a local homeless man we called the K-bum. Usually you smelled him before you actually saw him. He would browse the store for hours daily, never shoplifted that we could tell, and then always left buying something like a pack of gum or $0.50 nail clippers.

One customer got arrested for walking around the women?s department with his penis hanging out the fly of his pants. He told the police he had gone to the bathroom and ?forgot? to put it away.

One day a crazy lady comes in demanding that we give her a refund for a bottle of perfume. She has no receipt and the bottle is only about ¼ full. I wasn?t even sure the liquid in it was perfume, but my supervisor wanted to get her out so I went to do a price check. Turned out we had only carried that product once, two years ago at Christmas. No crack money for her that night!

The manager was cheap and didn?t trust anyone on the night shift to hold a store key, so the cleaning crew and the crew who straightened the store were actually locked in so they couldn?t steal. If they had an emergency they were told to break a window, but warned that the cops would be the first to respond so it better be a real emergency. Fucking amazing!

I worked at theme park in the games department back in the day too. We would amuse ourselves with a quarter and some super glue, until a group of mentally disabled adults from a local home found one we had stuck out on the midway. They took turns trying to pry it up until several of them were sitting on the ground crying. I firmly believe that when I die I will have to smoke a shit in hell for that one.
 

Paladin3

Diamond Member
Mar 5, 2004
4,933
878
126
I almost forgot a story my brother tells. He was working stocking shelves at night in a 24 hour grocery store. The liquor department is near the emergency exit so it became quite a sport for high school and college kids to grab a bunch of booze and run out with it.

One night some punks come in, maybe 21 but probably not, and start cruising by the liquor. My brother keeps working up at the front of the store but eventually hears the emergency exit alarm go off. He runs out the front door to see the punks in their car come speeding out from behind the store. All 6'2", 250lbs of him grabs an empty shopping cart, wheels it around and tosses it like an Olympic hammer right into the side of the car and smashing a huge dent in the side.

The way he tells the story he was the night shift hero of the month. :laugh:
 

ScottyB

Diamond Member
Jan 28, 2002
6,677
1
0
I was working at Kmart one summer and was stationed at the self checkouts. This guy came up to me and complained that the flavored condoms he was purchasing weren't ringing up on sale. I called over my manager for a price check and they went back and found out that they weren't on sale--some other colored brand was on sale. The humorous part was that he was with his lover and they were basically the trashiest rednecks I have ever seen. Think Cletus and Brandine from the Simpsons.

Well, as they were leaving I commented to my manager, "At least they aren't procreating." He laughed his head off and we joked about them for a couple days. Then, a few days later, the couple came back in with about six or eight kids in tow. It was the most stereotypical poor white family ever. I saw them. And my manager saw them. Then we both turned and looked at each other and started laughing. I said, "I guess I was wrong." And that was that.
 

sonoma1993

Diamond Member
May 31, 2004
3,414
21
81
When I used to work at the local Super Kmart. One day day I was working in the checkout. I had some big ass fat couple come through my line. They smelled so bad, that it almost made me puked. I had to turned my head to try not to smell them. The cashier two lanes over from me, were able to smell them. We wanted to give them bars of soap so bad..

Another time I was working out in the garden center. We had these two ladies come through our checkout line with about $1100 worth of christmas toys and stuff. One lady tried to cash her husband check while using her friend driver license. We told them, we can't do this. they insisted they talked to a manger up front, and said it was ok.. we were like right... not going to happen
 

AyashiKaibutsu

Diamond Member
Jan 24, 2004
9,306
4
81
Worked at a gas station one summer and a guy with no arms kept coming in to pay for gas with his feet; never saw what car he came from, but I assume someone was giving him a ride...

Not retail, but when I was working at a call center that mostly did AT&T phone activations they had us do a project for vonage getting valid physical addresses for accounts that didn't have them so 911 would work properly. Was getting a lot of irate people complaining about the service. Then I got one person that after I explained why I wanted the address said he didn't care because it was just a business line, but even if it was a home line he'd never trust it for using 911 since service was so bad.
 
Dec 8, 2008
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I have 3 or 4 good stories from best buy and radioshack.. I can post more tonight from home..

One time at best buy someone tried to return one of those old wood cased TV's that weigh about 300 lbs inside of a projection tv box.. As if we wouldn't cut the massive amounts of duct tape to check or something (he had 7-8 layers of tape sealing the box shut). He insisted that his wife must've put it in there.. Think about how heavy those things are, lol..

Another time at best buy an older woman was INSISTING to the point of screaming that she bought a cordless phone 6 months earlier and wanted a refund.. The kicker is that it was a RADIO SHACK brand phone.

When I worked at radio shack a lady brought in the handset of her cordless phone (handset only, no base) to get a new battery. I checked her out, installed the battery, and she hit 'Talk'. She was confused and upset at the lack of a dial tone.

I have many more from the tech bench at best buy.. Computers full of roaches, full of porn (amateur/self was fairly common), people dropping cameras out of their car and wanting new ones.. Had numerous people go psycho when we wouldn't bend the rules for them.
 
Dec 26, 2007
11,782
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Originally posted by: Deviant Grasshopper
I have 3 or 4 good stories from best buy and radioshack.. I can post more tonight from home..

One time at best buy someone tried to return one of those old wood cased TV's that weigh about 300 lbs inside of a projection tv box.. As if we wouldn't cut the massive amounts of duct tape to check or something (he had 7-8 layers of tape sealing the box shut). He insisted that his wife must've put it in there.. Think about how heavy those things are, lol..

Another time at best buy an older woman was INSISTING to the point of screaming that she bought a cordless phone 6 months earlier and wanted a refund.. The kicker is that it was a RADIO SHACK brand phone.

When I worked at radio shack a lady brought in the handset of her cordless phone (handset only, no base) to get a new battery. I checked her out, installed the battery, and she hit 'Talk'. She was confused and upset at the lack of a dial tone.

I have many more from the tech bench at best buy.. Computers full of roaches, full of porn (amateur/self was fairly common), people dropping cameras out of their car and wanting new ones.. Had numerous people go psycho when we wouldn't bend the rules for them.

Maybe I need to get a part time job at the tech bench....