Tales from the retail world...

[ViviTheMage]

Originally posted by: Lummex


And then this one is not retail and I think I've told this story before. When I worked as a computer lab moniter, I would help with minor problems the users may have. This one guy asked me to help him open his flash drive he just put in. So I go over and minimize the paper he was working on, and he says "Uhh, did you save that?" with his eyes tearing up and his voice cracking like he was about to cry. I showed him that I just minimized it and he starts breathing again. I thought that was hilarious.

haha, That one's great...I love minimizing stuff on people if I need to do something to there machine.

 

[geno]

Originally posted by: Aquila76
I worked at Pizza Hut when I was in high school. This one guy came in looking like he was gonna explode and asked for the bathroom. I told him where it was and he went off running. On his way there he shoved one of the waitresses out of his way and didn't even stop to say sorry. Apparently the one toilet in the bathroom was in use, so he slammed into the stall door so hard that it broke at the lock and then proceeded to throw out the guy that was in there already. If it hadn't been in Lowell, we probably would have called the police; but seeing how it was, they would have never come for something like that. We gave the guy who was interrupted free pizza for a month. As for the 'kamikaze crapper' as we called him, he just ran right back out after he was done like nothing happened.

Ahh Lowell...so many interesting characters

<--- went to UML

 

[AlienCraft]

Originally posted by: Shanteli

obviously you are white. Direct racial comments = @ss kicking....I don't care what the circumstance. I had no beef with the lady although I prob would have pushed her aside to get to the kid, but the kid needed to be taught a lesson. If not by me then by someone else in the near future. I would have just beat him...when he turns 16 and tells the wrong black guy to "go back to africa" he'll end up more than just brusied up so I would have been doing him a favor.

Careful, YOUR latent racism is showing.

 

[AlienCraft]

Originally posted by: KevinF
OK, first a little bit of setup.

Every year, a quadriplegic man with cerebral palsy would give an inspirational speech to my middle school. It was a standard speech, overcoming adversity, never letting disability get in the way of achievement, that kind of thing.

Fast forward five years. The summer after I graduated from high school, I was working at a RadioShack in a crappy, depressing mall. It was about two miles down the road from one of the city's larger malls (and that mall had one of the areas highest volume RadioShacks). The highlight of the mall was a Value City and a Hanes Factory Discount Store (and a Border's at the other end, but it was almost disconnected from the mall), which might tell you something about the clientele. Anyways, after working for a couple days, I was surprised to see the very same Dave who spoke at my middle school come into the store. He said hello, in his drawling, hard to understand voice and made benign conversation. He asked if my manager was working, and the manager wasn't working so Dave left. As I worked at RadioShack longer, I realized that Dave was a fixture at Northway Mall. He came into RadioShack everyday. He was never rude, he bought things from us whenever he needed them, but he was definitely annoying and a big waste of time, for the most part. Still, you had to feel bad for the guy.

He didn't just visit RadioShack. The guy lived in an apartment behind the mall, and he visited every single store in the mall daily, just to talk to the employees. The guys life consisted of cruising Northway Mall, and visiting a high class strip club whenever he got a chance, which was 3 or 4 nights a week. He employed as his personal assistants nothing but attractive young women, and they never worked for him for very long before he moved onto another one. One of my coworkers was somehow tricked into going to Dave's apartment to install a stereo or something, and he said that every wall was covered with porn. Posters, cut outs from magazines, porn magazines laying around. He said it was disgusting.

My point? Just because someone gives inspirational speeches doesn't mean that person is living an inspirational life. Dave never overcame his disability. He was a poor, lonely, miserable middle aged man who knew he never had and never would amount to anything and hated himself for lying to kids because of it and tried to drown his sorrows and porn and strip clubs.

You don't know ( or don't tell) what happened to him between the years of those speeches and the time you found him out.
5 years is a long time and a lot can change in one's life.
It must be great to be young and know everything about everybody, based on so little real information.

 

[AlienCraft]

Originally posted by: MaverickBP

wtf? i know this is off topic forum but geez...

actually it was still funny lol..in a sadistic fashion

No it's not.
Sadism isn't funny.

 

[AlienCraft]

Originally posted by: shortylickens
"Oh really, you dont have it? Well then I guess this object I'm holding isnt sold here then is it? So its not shoplifting if I walkout with it? Have a nice day!"

You're that guy who says "I guess it's free then?" when it doesn't scan, too.

 

[So]

Originally posted by: AlienCraft

Originally posted by: MaverickBP

wtf? i know this is off topic forum but geez...

actually it was still funny lol..in a sadistic fashion

No it's not.
Sadism isn't funny.

No, it's hawt.

 

[OutHouse]

Originally posted by: Paladin3
I was reading for an hour before I realized this is a 3 ½ year old thread! Nice work!

I worked at a Kmart and at Christmas my job was to run the famous Blue Light around the store announcing ?attention Kmart shoppers, we have a blue light special for the next 15 minutes in sporting goods??. This was back in the price tag sticker days and customers would always try to sneak in non-sale merchandise to get marked down as well. Old lady shoppers would flirt with me (I was 19 at the time) trying to get a peek at my list of sales for the evening. If we only had a few of a popular items left it was like a mini door buster riot and things got ugly. I?ve never seen people fight over such crap in my life and I had to do it every 15 minutes for 4 hours a night.

We also couldn?t have a package or diapers, feminine products, underwear or socks on the shelf without someone tearing it open and stealing one. It got so bad we had to put a trashcan in the infants department because people would change their kids and leave the dirty diaper on the floor. I won?t mention the other gifts they left around for us to find.

We had a local homeless man we called the K-bum. Usually you smelled him before you actually saw him. He would browse the store for hours daily, never shoplifted that we could tell, and then always left buying something like a pack of gum or $0.50 nail clippers.

One customer got arrested for walking around the women?s department with his penis hanging out the fly of his pants. He told the police he had gone to the bathroom and ?forgot? to put it away.

One day a crazy lady comes in demanding that we give her a refund for a bottle of perfume. She has no receipt and the bottle is only about ¼ full. I wasn?t even sure the liquid in it was perfume, but my supervisor wanted to get her out so I went to do a price check. Turned out we had only carried that product once, two years ago at Christmas. No crack money for her that night!

The manager was cheap and didn?t trust anyone on the night shift to hold a store key, so the cleaning crew and the crew who straightened the store were actually locked in so they couldn?t steal. If they had an emergency they were told to break a window, but warned that the cops would be the first to respond so it better be a real emergency. Fucking amazing!

I worked at theme park in the games department back in the day too. We would amuse ourselves with a quarter and some super glue, until a group of mentally disabled adults from a local home found one we had stuck out on the midway. They took turns trying to pry it up until several of them were sitting on the ground crying. I firmly believe that when I die I will have to smoke a shit in hell for that one.

i would have broke a window and when the cops arrived and asked what was up i would tell them i was locked in and being help prisoner by KMart.

 

[Fayd]

Originally posted by: MaverickBP
i was helping a guest who was asking about cameras..and i dont care how long it takes..i will finish with one guest before going to the next..he was there first. well i had some guy getting irrate behind me and cussing trying to get my attention. i kept turning around and saying "sir i will be right with you when im done with this customer...he then proceeded to insult me..i turned around and responded with, "motha fvcker i will get to your ass as soon as this gentleman is finished, so shut the fvck up and look pretty."...i also got on the radio and said "Can someone come get this bitch before i knock him out.."...all of a sudden the manager came running all quick, "I GOT HIM I GOT HIM"...he saved that guy that night..i knew i overstepped my bounds and figured i was in trouble..nobody said anything to me about it lol.

Few weeks later the same dude came in and needed my help ringing him up..he just sat there with this head down while i rang up his stuff..i had a big grin on my face lol

where do you work? wu-tang camera shop?

 

[So]

Originally posted by: Citrix

Originally posted by: Paladin3
I was reading for an hour before I realized this is a 3 ½ year old thread! Nice work!

I worked at a Kmart and at Christmas my job was to run the famous Blue Light around the store announcing ?attention Kmart shoppers, we have a blue light special for the next 15 minutes in sporting goods??. This was back in the price tag sticker days and customers would always try to sneak in non-sale merchandise to get marked down as well. Old lady shoppers would flirt with me (I was 19 at the time) trying to get a peek at my list of sales for the evening. If we only had a few of a popular items left it was like a mini door buster riot and things got ugly. I?ve never seen people fight over such crap in my life and I had to do it every 15 minutes for 4 hours a night.

We also couldn?t have a package or diapers, feminine products, underwear or socks on the shelf without someone tearing it open and stealing one. It got so bad we had to put a trashcan in the infants department because people would change their kids and leave the dirty diaper on the floor. I won?t mention the other gifts they left around for us to find.

We had a local homeless man we called the K-bum. Usually you smelled him before you actually saw him. He would browse the store for hours daily, never shoplifted that we could tell, and then always left buying something like a pack of gum or $0.50 nail clippers.

One customer got arrested for walking around the women?s department with his penis hanging out the fly of his pants. He told the police he had gone to the bathroom and ?forgot? to put it away.

One day a crazy lady comes in demanding that we give her a refund for a bottle of perfume. She has no receipt and the bottle is only about ¼ full. I wasn?t even sure the liquid in it was perfume, but my supervisor wanted to get her out so I went to do a price check. Turned out we had only carried that product once, two years ago at Christmas. No crack money for her that night!

The manager was cheap and didn?t trust anyone on the night shift to hold a store key, so the cleaning crew and the crew who straightened the store were actually locked in so they couldn?t steal. If they had an emergency they were told to break a window, but warned that the cops would be the first to respond so it better be a real emergency. Fucking amazing!

I worked at theme park in the games department back in the day too. We would amuse ourselves with a quarter and some super glue, until a group of mentally disabled adults from a local home found one we had stuck out on the midway. They took turns trying to pry it up until several of them were sitting on the ground crying. I firmly believe that when I die I will have to smoke a shit in hell for that one.

i would have broke a window and when the cops got and asked what was up i would tell them i was locked in and being help prisoner by KMart.

No, I don't think you would.

 

[OutHouse]

Originally posted by: So

Originally posted by: Citrix

Originally posted by: Paladin3
I was reading for an hour before I realized this is a 3 ½ year old thread! Nice work!

I worked at a Kmart and at Christmas my job was to run the famous Blue Light around the store announcing ?attention Kmart shoppers, we have a blue light special for the next 15 minutes in sporting goods??. This was back in the price tag sticker days and customers would always try to sneak in non-sale merchandise to get marked down as well. Old lady shoppers would flirt with me (I was 19 at the time) trying to get a peek at my list of sales for the evening. If we only had a few of a popular items left it was like a mini door buster riot and things got ugly. I?ve never seen people fight over such crap in my life and I had to do it every 15 minutes for 4 hours a night.

We also couldn?t have a package or diapers, feminine products, underwear or socks on the shelf without someone tearing it open and stealing one. It got so bad we had to put a trashcan in the infants department because people would change their kids and leave the dirty diaper on the floor. I won?t mention the other gifts they left around for us to find.

We had a local homeless man we called the K-bum. Usually you smelled him before you actually saw him. He would browse the store for hours daily, never shoplifted that we could tell, and then always left buying something like a pack of gum or $0.50 nail clippers.

One customer got arrested for walking around the women?s department with his penis hanging out the fly of his pants. He told the police he had gone to the bathroom and ?forgot? to put it away.

One day a crazy lady comes in demanding that we give her a refund for a bottle of perfume. She has no receipt and the bottle is only about ¼ full. I wasn?t even sure the liquid in it was perfume, but my supervisor wanted to get her out so I went to do a price check. Turned out we had only carried that product once, two years ago at Christmas. No crack money for her that night!

The manager was cheap and didn?t trust anyone on the night shift to hold a store key, so the cleaning crew and the crew who straightened the store were actually locked in so they couldn?t steal. If they had an emergency they were told to break a window, but warned that the cops would be the first to respond so it better be a real emergency. Fucking amazing!

I worked at theme park in the games department back in the day too. We would amuse ourselves with a quarter and some super glue, until a group of mentally disabled adults from a local home found one we had stuck out on the midway. They took turns trying to pry it up until several of them were sitting on the ground crying. I firmly believe that when I die I will have to smoke a shit in hell for that one.

i would have broke a window and when the cops got and asked what was up i would tell them i was locked in and being help prisoner by KMart.

No, I don't think you would.

you dont know me very well. nobody locks me in a building especially my employer.

 

[AlienCraft]

Originally posted by: Citrix
<blockquote>quote:
the supervisor tried to take the camera from them because it was illegal to film the highway, </blockquote>

i would have told your sup to f*ck off too. illegal to film the highway? yea ok.

I believe the P.A.T.R.I.O.T. Act made it illegal to photograph certain public infrastructure system like dams, bridges, highways, power transmission lines and such.

 

[shortylickens]

Originally posted by: AlienCraft

Originally posted by: shortylickens
"Oh really, you dont have it? Well then I guess this object I'm holding isnt sold here then is it? So its not shoplifting if I walkout with it? Have a nice day!"

You're that guy who says "I guess it's free then?" when it doesn't scan, too.

Why the hell did you quote me from 3 and a half years ago?

The answer to your question is "no".
I think its incredibly cliche and it wasnt any damn funny the first time I heard it.

 

[Strk]

My favorite would be people flipping out when they can't get the tax back after a certain amount of time.

 

[SagaLore]

Originally posted by: ViviTheMage

Originally posted by: Lummex


And then this one is not retail and I think I've told this story before. When I worked as a computer lab moniter, I would help with minor problems the users may have. This one guy asked me to help him open his flash drive he just put in. So I go over and minimize the paper he was working on, and he says "Uhh, did you save that?" with his eyes tearing up and his voice cracking like he was about to cry. I showed him that I just minimized it and he starts breathing again. I thought that was hilarious.

haha, That one's great...I love minimizing stuff on people if I need to do something to there machine.

What is worse is that he had to ask - which means he didn't save it before trying to open other stuff or get additional hardware working.

 

[wiredspider]

How have I missed this thread for so long... One time at my parents restaurant, some crazy lady and her crazy son called us complaining about how our food had gotten them sick (of course they didn't get it from us, we don't even have the food that they supposedly got sick from).

I only recall one little tidbit that had me scratching my head:

The son was like you made her throw up so I hit her with a bat...
Then his "mom" gets on to saying she got hit, her head hurt, etc

WTF...

 

[wiredspider]

How have I missed this thread for so long... One time at my parents restaurant, some crazy lady and her crazy son called us complaining about how our food had gotten them sick (of course they didn't get it from us, we don't even have the food that they supposedly got sick from).

I only recall one little tidbit that had me scratching my head:

The son was like you made her throw up so I hit her with a bat...
Then his "mom" gets on to saying she got hit, her head hurt, etc

WTF...

 

[AlienCraft]

Originally posted by: Citrix


Thats the stupidst thing i have ever heard of. i would post a big ass sign in the store explaing that.

According to this thread, people don't read signs. So, even if he did, it wouldn't help.

 

[AlienCraft]

Originally posted by: shortylickens
BUMP!!

But I will bump this to tell a reverse retail story.


Last Xmas season I had been feeling sorry for myself. My job was making me miserable and I often find if I do something to help someone else then my life gets a little better.

Went to get something cheap from Best Buy (I needed it in a hurry, forgive me) and got it and went home. Soon as I got home and opened it I realized it was not what I needed.
Went back right away, probably less than an hour after I had left. Went straight to the Returns desk and stood in line. They had a bunch of newbs in training (getting ready for the big Christmas return rush, I assume) and they were having a heck of a time dealing with the customers. Many of them were awefully angry considering it was still several weeks before Christmas.

The trainer was doing a good job helping each newb and dealing with the irate customers. I've never seen such a young lady multi-task so well.
One of the poor newbs got to me and I asked to return my item. He said he was sorry but they dont take returns on this kind of item if its been opened. I put on my sad puppy-dog look. It rarely works and especially not with stores, but its always worth a shot.
Nice trainer lady came over and said "no problem". She said she had vaguely recalled me being in there earlier and getting the item.
She went ahead and did the full refund for me. No repackage cost or anything.
Then she turned around and charged right back into the angry mob.

I felt a little sorry for her right then. She had managed to be very kind and helpful on a rotten day.
Went home again and immediately wrote up a fancy thank-you note on the cards my mother had sent me the previous year. Got the mailing address from their website and put it in the mail that afternoon.

Hopefully it made her day a little better.

Folks, we all know darn well that retail people have to deal with 10 times the normal bullshit from Thanksgiving to New Years. If you could just make the effort to send one thank-you card to somebody it may mean the difference between happiness and misery for them.

Quoted and bumped for emphasis.

 

[AlienCraft]

Originally posted by: shortylickens

Originally posted by: AlienCraft

Originally posted by: shortylickens
"Oh really, you dont have it? Well then I guess this object I'm holding isnt sold here then is it? So its not shoplifting if I walkout with it? Have a nice day!"

You're that guy who says "I guess it's free then?" when it doesn't scan, too.

Why the hell did you quote me from 3 and a half years ago?

The answer to your question is "no".
I think its incredibly cliche and it wasnt any damn funny the first time I heard it.

lulz, because I can. The 1ntarweb is so kuul like that. Reminds you of stupid shit you typed years ago when you leats expect it.

 

[Exterous]

I have a lot of stories but this was a new one on me:

I guy came in with the HP tower he had bought a couple of days ago. I noticed he was giving one of our customer service girls a hard time so I walked over to see if I could help out. It turns out that he opened his case to see what was inside and noticed that the hard drive was made by Western Digital. He made a point of emphasizing that he bought an HP computer so he expected a HP hard drive. I explained to him that HP does not make hard drives, that they buy them from other companies. He disagreed. He had decided that we stole the higher quality HP HDD out of his computer and put in a "janky offbrand" HDD in its place. I told him that that wasn't the case and to illustrate my point to pointed out to him that his ram was made by Hynix as well

Bad move

So apparently we stole his ram as well.

He was getting more and more agitated. I told him that he should call HP or go online and confirm what I had told him if he didn't want to believe me. He didn't want to do that because I was trying to get him out of the store without giving him the stuff we stole from him. I told him "Well, sir, I'm sorry but if you dont want to believe me, my associate or contact the manufacturer for confirmation then there is nothing else I can help you with tonight."

"Pft, you're just about as helpful as the little wise and beautiful woman bitch you got behind the counter there." he replied gesturing angrily at the girl

Any patience I had for the man stopped there. I informed him that his attitude and language were not welcome here and I recommended that he go outside, cool down and return after he had talked to HP.

"Fuck that. I'm not fucking leaving until I get whats mine! Now give me my hard drive and ram or ill just go and take it from one of your other computers!"

Me: "I'm going to have to ask you to leave now sir."

He refused. I told him that if he didn't leave the store I was going to call the police. He said "Good, then they can talk to you about your thieving employees."
I shrugged, told him "Go right ahead" and called the police. He waited, fuming in the corner until they arrived. He walked right up to them and talked to them for about 30 mins. He did not seem happy. They came up to me and I told them what happened. We talked for about 2 minutes. They went back over to the man and told him he had to leave. He diddn't want to but they were firm (although much more polite than I would be.) He left and I have not seen him back

 

[Exterous]

Just a small story:

On Black Friday a woman came in around 8am. She came up to me and asked where digital cameras were. I pointed to where a rather crowded area and said "Well, they're over there, however, the line starts over there." and poitned to a rather long line.
"Well, I just want to look."
"Im sorry ma'am but that the line to buy and look as well."
"But I dont want to wait in a long line to just look."
I just kind of shrugged and replied "Unfortunately a lot of people do, so I can't let you cut in line."
"well, this is just ridiculous that you make people stand in line for 15-20 min to look."
I kind of laughed. "Well, its a good thing you weren't here last year, the wait was over an hour."
She kinda of made a face and moved on. Heh. People who dont want to wait in lines at retail stores on the morning of Black Friday :laugh:

 

[Kalmah]

Originally posted by: Exterous
I have a lot of stories but this was a new one on me:

I guy came in with the HP tower he had bought a couple of days ago. I noticed he was giving one of our customer service girls a hard time so I walked over to see if I could help out. It turns out that he opened his case to see what was inside and noticed that the hard drive was made by Western Digital. He made a point of emphasizing that he bought an HP computer so he expected a HP hard drive. I explained to him that HP does not make hard drives, that they buy them from other companies. He disagreed. He had decided that we stole the higher quality HP HDD out of his computer and put in a "janky offbrand" HDD in its place. I told him that that wasn't the case and to illustrate my point to pointed out to him that his ram was made by Hynix as well

Bad move

So apparently we stole his ram as well.

He was getting more and more agitated. I told him that he should call HP or go online and confirm what I had told him if he didn't want to believe me. He didn't want to do that because I was trying to get him out of the store without giving him the stuff we stole from him. I told him "Well, sir, I'm sorry but if you dont want to believe me, my associate or contact the manufacturer for confirmation then there is nothing else I can help you with tonight."

"Pft, you're just about as helpful as the little wise and beautiful woman bitch you got behind the counter there." he replied gesturing angrily at the girl

Any patience I had for the man stopped there. I informed him that his attitude and language were not welcome here and I recommended that he go outside, cool down and return after he had talked to HP.

"Fuck that. I'm not fucking leaving until I get whats mine! Now give me my hard drive and ram or ill just go and take it from one of your other computers!"

Me: "I'm going to have to ask you to leave now sir."

He refused. I told him that if he didn't leave the store I was going to call the police. He said "Good, then they can talk to you about your thieving employees."
I shrugged, told him "Go right ahead" and called the police. He waited, fuming in the corner until they arrived. He walked right up to them and talked to them for about 30 mins. He did not seem happy. They came up to me and I told them what happened. We talked for about 2 minutes. They went back over to the man and told him he had to leave. He diddn't want to but they were firm (although much more polite than I would be.) He left and I have not seen him back

Fantastic. Should have asked him what car he drives, if he said Ford, then ask him if his tires are Ford tires.

 

[secretanchitman]

Originally posted by: Kalmah

Originally posted by: Exterous
I have a lot of stories but this was a new one on me:

I guy came in with the HP tower he had bought a couple of days ago. I noticed he was giving one of our customer service girls a hard time so I walked over to see if I could help out. It turns out that he opened his case to see what was inside and noticed that the hard drive was made by Western Digital. He made a point of emphasizing that he bought an HP computer so he expected a HP hard drive. I explained to him that HP does not make hard drives, that they buy them from other companies. He disagreed. He had decided that we stole the higher quality HP HDD out of his computer and put in a "janky offbrand" HDD in its place. I told him that that wasn't the case and to illustrate my point to pointed out to him that his ram was made by Hynix as well

Bad move

So apparently we stole his ram as well.

He was getting more and more agitated. I told him that he should call HP or go online and confirm what I had told him if he didn't want to believe me. He didn't want to do that because I was trying to get him out of the store without giving him the stuff we stole from him. I told him "Well, sir, I'm sorry but if you dont want to believe me, my associate or contact the manufacturer for confirmation then there is nothing else I can help you with tonight."

"Pft, you're just about as helpful as the little wise and beautiful woman bitch you got behind the counter there." he replied gesturing angrily at the girl

Any patience I had for the man stopped there. I informed him that his attitude and language were not welcome here and I recommended that he go outside, cool down and return after he had talked to HP.

"Fuck that. I'm not fucking leaving until I get whats mine! Now give me my hard drive and ram or ill just go and take it from one of your other computers!"

Me: "I'm going to have to ask you to leave now sir."

He refused. I told him that if he didn't leave the store I was going to call the police. He said "Good, then they can talk to you about your thieving employees."
I shrugged, told him "Go right ahead" and called the police. He waited, fuming in the corner until they arrived. He walked right up to them and talked to them for about 30 mins. He did not seem happy. They came up to me and I told them what happened. We talked for about 2 minutes. They went back over to the man and told him he had to leave. He diddn't want to but they were firm (although much more polite than I would be.) He left and I have not seen him back

Fantastic. Should have asked him what car he drives, if he said Ford, then ask him if his tires are Ford tires.

lolol that was a good one! i just LOVE this thread hahaha

 

[Nerva]

the first time i read this thread, was when i had my summer internship my senior year in college and laughed my ass off while i worked. since then, i have graduated from college, worked for two years, lost my job, and this thread is still alive and still delivers. Amazing!