Star Wars: The Rise of Skywalker (Episode IX)

[GodisanAtheist]

TLJ was a shiteshow obviously...

When you have to digitally edit out a weapon in the Throne room fight so that the protagonist isn't stabbed in the back by a red guard or so that the audience doesn't ask "Hey he has another weapon in his other hand why not use that?" it's indicative of the lazy writing that is found in the rest of the show...

fuck defending that movie. Seriously... WTF are people smoking/snorting/injecting/eating that they think TLJ is good?

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-Eh, Choreography is hard. If you slow down really any movie fight you're going to find some glaring issues.

If bad lightsaber fights were the mark of a quality movie then most SW movies would suck. Frankly the new series definitely has valid criticism that could be leveled against it, but the lightsaber fights are one of the things they did really right IMO.

 

[blankslate]

-Eh, Choreography is hard. If you slow down really any movie fight you're going to find some glaring issues.

Oh you can criticize the prequel trilogy Lightsaber Duels for being too choreographed (Auralnauts youtube channel has great fun making them into "dance fight videos" and they're funny) but at least they choreographed them... I only watched TLJ once in the theaters but I was able to catch the disappearing dagger thing on the 2nd viewing myself without others pointing it out to me after it was released to home formats and on youtube clips... that's indicative of really really bad choreography excuse it if you like... it's still fucking shite.

but as I said it's indicative of numerous other lazy things that were done in TLJ I liked the Saber fight between Kylo and Rey in TFA... I watched that movie 3 times in the Theater that's how much I liked it initially then TLJ came along and I didn't care to rewatch it in theaters because of many flaws that I saw in the movie...
TLJ bothered me so much that after Chris Stuckman and Jeremy Jahns (two fairly well known youtube genre movie reviewers) gave meh reviews tot he follow up RoS why bother watching that one at all?

At least Disney/Lucasfilm gave me Rogue One and The Mandalorian to enyoy.


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[BudAshes]

Ultimately my conclusion is that they should have never tried to do new trilogies, whether the prequels or the sequels. One off movies would have been fine and still made them butt loads of money.

 

[zinfamous]

I'll just leave this here.

https://twitter.com/x/status/1208008232461049858

lmao! Stolen Valor. Love it.

 

[zinfamous]

Thought it was poorly done with messed up pacing and blatant shortcuts.
The storyline sucked. The beats sucked. It was a series of "didathings" with weak transitions that appear checkpoint driven.
One scene was basically a video game puzzle.
It was entertaining but kinda meh.
Was kind of funny to see a video from 2017 where a guy figured out the plot based on cues from tfa

the bolded: absolutely accurate. The first act was just cobbled-together editing floor clips of lines and people being places and talking to someone for a few seconds, then another person on another planet doing a thing, maybe related to the preceding thing, then again and again and again....like a dozen planets and series-worth of information in 20 minutes. The first act had the gradual pacing of a firehose. I don't remember any of it, but somehow we are all cool that the emperor is back, with a galaxy-sized fleet, that no one knew about, and one dude can find him in seconds and the entire rebellion takes weeks to do it....meaning lots of quests.

oh and then there is Lando in a sand boat for some reason...sitting all the time, wherever he is. Never moving. Being fat and creepy with ever line that he says, which also actually never make any sense. "Let's find out..." I heard "Well, you want some in you?" when he said that

 

[zinfamous]

You can never have enough Han rescue. ROTJ actually best mimicks the Flash Gordon serials that inspired Lucas. Han rescue. Yoda death. Teddy bear picnic. Best fvcking space battle of all the Star Wars movie. More teddy bears.

I loved RotJ. It's firmly #2 overall for me (mainly because Vader/Luke/Emperor Throne scenes are the best and most important in the entire series).

Jabba, Sarlac Pit, Bikini Leia, Han being Han...not much to hate with that. People don't like the Ewoks...they forget that they were some savage, murderous creatures

 

[snoopy7548]

The best part of RoS (well, second best, only to that scene where Babu Frik pops up and is like, "hey heyyyyyyyyyy!") was when they showed the Ewoks.

I liked it. Solid 7/10. Far better than TLJ.

 

[Starbuck1975]

I loved RotJ. It's firmly #2 overall for me (mainly because Vader/Luke/Emperor Throne scenes are the best and most important in the entire series).

Jabba, Sarlac Pit, Bikini Leia, Han being Han...not much to hate with that. People don't like the Ewoks...they forget that they were some savage, murderous creatures

ROTJ has the best space battle of any Star Wars movie. There is so much happening in every scene but without CGI overload. You can actually enjoy and appreciate the capital ships slugging it out as the fighters swarm around them.

 

[shortylickens]

I loved RotJ. It's firmly #2 overall for me (mainly because Vader/Luke/Emperor Throne scenes are the best and most important in the entire series).

Jabba, Sarlac Pit, Bikini Leia, Han being Han...not much to hate with that. People don't like the Ewoks...they forget that they were some savage, murderous creatures

I was reading a cracked article not long ago and they pointed out something.

The Ewoks had tied up luke and han and chewie and were starting to cook them over a fire, then leia comes out and stops them. they take down the fires and let the guys go.
LATER:
We see a giant party with massive bonfires, drinking, eating, singing, and lots of empty helmets being played like drums.
No Stormtroopers.
Not one.
Not one god damn prisoner of war.
Just helmets.


Let that run thru your mind for a couple minutes.

 

[zinfamous]

I was reading a cracked article not long ago and they pointed out something.

The Ewoks had tied up luke and han and chewie and were starting to cook them over a fire, then leia comes out and stops them. they take down the fires and let the guys go.
LATER:
We see a giant party with massive bonfires, drinking, eating, singing, and lots of empty helmets being played like drums.
No Stormtroopers.
Not one.
Not one god damn prisoner of war.
Just helmets.


Let that run thru your mind for a couple minutes.

yeah, I realized that for a long time (pointed it out here in the past, as well). I never understood why people called the Ewoks little teddy bears. They were far more violent and brutal than anything we ever actually saw of wookies in the movies. Clever as fuck, too.

 

[UsandThem]

yeah, I realized that for a long time (pointed it out here in the past, as well). I never understood why people called the Ewoks little teddy bears. They were far more violent and brutal than anything we ever actually saw of wookies in the movies. Clever as fuck, too.

Some of them (like Wicket) were made to be "cute"...aka sell toys. The rest of the Ewoks were creepy looking little bastards.

 

[GodisanAtheist]

Ok, I've been meditating on how ROS could have been better and I came up with the following in the shower this morning. I think it addresses most of my issues with the movie in terms of characters and Pacing:

Act 1: Establish primary characters state of mind

Kylo Ren - hunts down the Sith homeworld and enters the temple. Finds clone of Snoke. Palatine is actually dead, but his machinations reach beyond the grave. Snoke comments on how Ren is focused, driven, clear, his inner conflict seemingly settled by the events of TLJ, and demands Ren bend the knee to his master. Ren refuses, battles, and handily defeats Snoke demonstrating that Ren is much more powerful in his current state. He destroys the temple, the clones, etc but before he leaves he senses something similar to what he has sensed when reaching into Rey's mind. He becomes obsessed with finding her and having her join him, their fates are intertwined. Ren meets with his knights aboard his flagship, thanks them for their quest to find the Sith homeworld while he was preoccupied during the events of TLJ, and gives them another quest to find and return Rey to him.

Rey- on the other hand is training. She's unfocused, unbalanced, she has her raw power but the events of TLJ have left her off kilter. She knows something is wrong, she feels the lure of the dark side, she remembers Luke's concern of her refusing to even resist it.

ACT 2: the Hunt for Rey and Civil War in the first order.

Hux leverages Ren's preoccupation with Rey and the Force to begin plotting a coup within the first order. Ren has delegated the operation of the FO to Hux, who brings over gernerals and troops to his side.

The Knights of Ren find the Resistance, try to isolate the heroes and Rey from support, and begin a battle. During the fight, any combination of heros are wounded, Chewie is mortally wounded fighting the knights. Rey, cornered and pressed, lashes out with the force, brutally defeating the knights but terrifying her allies and herself in the process. Ren appears through their mind bridge, surveys the carnage, then drops the bomb: her parents were nothing, but her grandfather was something: Emperor Palps. Rey fights Ren, but the tables are turned and he forces her to yield. Just as it seems the beaten down Rey is ready to accept her place and take Ren's hand Hux launches his coup against the FO loyalists, distracting Ren and allowing Rey to restreat.

Act 3: The final battle (gotta work, type this up soon).

Edit: K it's 1am and I'm drunk as shyte I'll try again tomorrow...

 

[blankslate]

Ok, I've been meditating on how ROS could have been better and I came up with the following in the shower this morning. I think it addresses most of my issues with the movie in terms of characters and Pacing:

I have an easier solution pretend that the Disney/Lucasfilm Trilogy is really expensive fanfiction funded by some weirdo billionaire and read Timothy Zahn's Heir to the Empire trilogy or listen to an audio book version of it. The bad guy in that book trilogy was so good that Disney made him canon after decanonizing the entire EU. 'nuff said


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[Fritzo]

agreed, I don’t get all the internet hate. Enjoyable movie, everyone I know who has seen it has said the same thing, good enjoyable move.
why does the internet hate it so much.

Social media has given everyone on the planet a sense of superiority.

I loved RotJ. It's firmly #2 overall for me (mainly because Vader/Luke/Emperor Throne scenes are the best and most important in the entire series).

Jabba, Sarlac Pit, Bikini Leia, Han being Han...not much to hate with that. People don't like the Ewoks...they forget that they were some savage, murderous creatures

They were supposed to be Wookies...

 

[pauldun170]

Ok, I've been meditating on how ROS could have been better and I came up with the following in the shower this morning. I think it addresses most of my issues with the movie in terms of characters and Pacing:

Act 1: Establish primary characters state of mind

Kylo Ren - hunts down the Sith homeworld and enters the temple. Finds clone of Snoke. Palatine is actually dead, but his machinations reach beyond the grave. Snoke comments on how Ren is focused, driven, clear, his inner conflict seemingly settled by the events of TLJ, and demands Ren bend the knee to his master. Ren refuses, battles, and handily defeats Snoke demonstrating that Ren is much more powerful in his current state. He destroys the temple, the clones, etc but before he leaves he senses something similar to what he has sensed when reaching into Rey's mind. He becomes obsessed with finding her and having her join him, their fates are intertwined. Ren meets with his knights aboard his flagship, thanks them for their quest to find the Sith homeworld while he was preoccupied during the events of TLJ, and gives them another quest to find and return Rey to him.

Rey- on the other hand is training. She's unfocused, unbalanced, she has her raw power but the events of TLJ have left her off kilter. She knows something is wrong, she feels the lure of the dark side, she remembers Luke's concern of her refusing to even resist it.

ACT 2: the Hunt for Rey and Civil War in the first order.

Hux leverages Ren's preoccupation with Rey and the Force to begin plotting a coup within the first order. Ren has delegated the operation of the FO to Hux, who brings over gernerals and troops to his side.

The Knights of Ren find the Resistance, try to isolate the heroes and Rey from support, and begin a battle. During the fight, any combination of heros are wounded, Chewie is mortally wounded fighting the knights. Rey, cornered and pressed, lashes out with the force, brutally defeating the knights but terrifying her allies and herself in the process. Ren appears through their mind bridge, surveys the carnage, then drops the bomb: her parents were nothing, but her grandfather was something: Emperor Palps. Rey fights Ren, but the tables are turned and he forces her to yield. Just as it seems the beaten down Rey is ready to accept her place and take Ren's hand Hux launches his coup against the FO loyalists, distracting Ren and allowing Rey to restreat.

Act 3: The final battle (gotta work, type this up soon).

I thought this was a pretty good scene. Maybe work this into Act 3?

 

[SKORPI0]

My short version of ROS.

Luke is not dead, he wakes up and realizes that whatever happened in TFA and TLJ is but a bad dream. He's been out of touch with everyone too long. He is sick of drinking blue milk and eating
Spetan channelfish and sometimes Porgs. This bothers him deeply and searches his soul. Yoda, Ben Kenobi, Anakin, Qui-Gon Jinn Force Ghost appears and they all give him advice. He then decides to rejoin the Rebellion (despite his failure) and help his twin sister Leia fight the "Empire", train her to be a Jedi. He collects the Secret Jedi texts so she can use it for reference.
Since his X-wing Starfighter is damaged due to water damage, he uses the Force and ask for a ride back to society. "The Empire" has been hunting Luke 30 years and counting because
of his involvement in destroying the 2 Death Stars, so far without success. The journey is hazardous for Luke and friends, battles ensue, but despite all this he makes it and is welcomed back,
He is warmly greeted by his dear nephew Ben Solo, his wife pretty Rey, parents Han and Leia who are about to celebrate their 30th wedding anniversary. Chewbacca, R2D2 and C-3PO cheer on.

Thus the Return of Skywalker.

The End.

 

[randay]

My short version of ROS.

Luke is not dead, he wakes up and realizes that whatever happened in TFA and TLJ is but a bad dream. He's been out of touch with everyone too long. He is sick of drinking blue milk and eating
Spetan channelfish and sometimes Porgs. This bothers him deeply and searches his soul. Yoda, Ben Kenobi, Anakin, Qui-Gon Jinn Force Ghost appears and they all give him advice. He then decides to rejoin the Rebellion (despite his failure) and help his twin sister Leia fight the "Empire", train her to be a Jedi. He collects the Secret Jedi texts so she can use it for reference.
Since his X-wing Starfighter is damaged due to water damage, he uses the Force and ask for a ride back to society. "The Empire" has been hunting Luke 30 years and counting because
of his involvement in destroying the 2 Death Stars, so far without success. The journey is hazardous for Luke and friends, battles ensue, but despite all this he makes it and is welcomed back,
He is warmly greeted by his dear nephew Ben Solo, his wife pretty Rey, parents Han and Leia who are about to celebrate their 30th wedding anniversary. Chewbacca, R2D2 and C-3PO cheer on.

Thus the Return of Skywalker.

The End.

man what a shit movie with shit actors and shit writing. is what the internet would say.

 

[Zorba]

This trilogy had a terrible story, because TFA had a terrible story. The other two trilogies took three movies to train up their main characters, while someone just said the word "force" to Rey and she became a badass.

Basically in TFA your bad guy is an emo who can't decide if he is a bad guy or not and also can't decide if he wants a mask or not.

And your good guy is a no body with no training that just wakes up to being more powerful than any of your bad guys.

Basically everything else is fan service.

That said, I found all three to be entertaining, and I thought RoS was the best of the bunch. I also think LucasFilms needs new leadership.

 

[sdifox]

The Fruit Loops Trilogy.

 

[Zorba]

Ultimately my conclusion is that they should have never tried to do new trilogies, whether the prequels or the sequels. One off movies would have been fine and still made them butt loads of money.

They should redo the prequals with Christopher Nolan doing the first two and the third by Quentin Tarateno. The PQ had a good story, just everything else was pretty bad.

 

[snoopy7548]

Social media has given everyone on the planet a sense of superiority.


They were supposed to be Wookies...

*Wookiees.

 

[blankslate]

the last two movies in the sequel trilogy has pretty much made this parody song true...

the link between those who are more easily swayed to religious fundamentalism and brain damage must also be true of people defending this sequel...
If you're still wanting to defend Rise of $h1t3walker stop... stop it and realize that your time would have been better spent watching about two and a half hours various videos of people playing Kinnect star wars dance mode like the one below...

‘Star Wars’ Box Office: ‘Rise Of Skywalker’ Won’t Top ‘Last Jedi’

Hey look some good news on new years!!! ^^^^

Mind you that if this holds true then it will be a departure from the previous trilogies where RotJ made more than ESB (admittedly ESB was indeed better) and RotS made more than AotC (considering the initial releases before the various reissues.


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[zinfamous]

They were supposed to be Wookies...

Yes, I know. Doesn't change that the Ewoks were just actual savage murder monsters. Maybe if we had seen the wookies do it, the story would be different, but we never did!

 

[Starbuck1975]

On second viewing, I enjoyed RoS even more. I can barely make it through the prequels or TLJ without fast forwarding through major sequences. The lightsaber duel between Rey and Kylo Ren on the Death Star wreckage is growing on me, and the complex relationship between them really is the core of the new trilogy.

Such a wasted opportunity. There was a better story to tell.

The story should have been Empire loyalists and Sith cultists reforming as a credible threat to the New Republic, maybe along the lines of the Thrawn series. Snoke can still be the leader of it. It ends with Ben Solo getting seduced to the dark side. Keep the aesthetics of the OT, there wasn’t a need to Apple store redesign the Empire. Rian Johnson had interesting ideas with making Rey no one, and also making Luke vulnerable. His execution of those ideas were horrible, anchored to an aimless movie with no endgame. Abrams made better Star Wars movies, but brought no big ideas to the table.

 

[FerrelGeek]

I went into the movie with very low expectations, hence I was surprised that I enjoyed it. Not perfect by any means for reasons that others have stated, but I liked it better that TLJ.