Star Wars: The Rise of Skywalker (Episode IX)

[randay]

If it's RLM, yeah.

Their reviews are often more entertaining than the movies they're reviewing.

oh i see now, its a thing. well, i guess.... uh. cool.

 

[blankslate]

Pretty good rebuttal of those who want to shill for this downward spiral of a rudderless trilogy that vindicates the oft-maligned Prequel Trilogy...

I owe George Lucas an apology for being overly critical of those it seems judging by what has happened in the past 4 yours of theatrical releases by Disny/Lucasfilm


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[qliveur]

oh i see now, its a thing. well, i guess.... uh. cool.

The Plinkett review of The Phantom Menace is what put them on the map 10 years ago.

 

[K1052]

The Rose and Finn of RoS acted more in line with soldiers who want to actually win a war would behave. This was of course at the expense of their having a ridiculous adventure of their own.

Did I love the entire Canto Bight sequence? No. Did ROJ start with a not totally dissimilar side quest to rescue Han that takes up the first 20 some minutes of movie? Yup.

 

[IndyColtsFan]

Rise of Skywalker is the best of the new trilogy, and is roughly Rogue One good...plenty of fan service, feels like a Star Wars movie, but also confined to certain plot constraints. Where Rogue One had to transition into the start of ANH, RoS had to pick up the shitshow fragments left by Rian Johnson after TLJ, and also work around Carrie Fisher’s untimely death. Not an easy task.

Given those constraints, some things work (Lando, the tension between Rey and Ben, the Han Solo scene, Palpatine - Ian is awesome, again), others don’t (Leia scenes, Luke scenes, Sith fleet)

Taking the trilogy in its entirety, it feels like a huge missed oppprtunity. JJ Abrams had to establish a new threat because the First Order never achieved the menace of the British character actors who gave the Empire some texture. Admiral Piett vs General Hux. Nuff said.

It’s too bad, because there was the potential to build a new trilogy around Rey as a Force sensitive character who embraces both the light and the dark. Even a Force sensitive Finn, an idea that didn’t get fully explored. Poe seemed to exist to provide exposition and cry in his cockpit.

My full Star Wars movies rankings:

Empire Strikes Back
A New Hope
Return of the Jedi
Rogue One
The Rise of Skywalker
The Force Awakens
Solo
Revenge of the Sith
The Phanton Menace
The Star Wars Christmas Special
The Last Jedi
Attack of the Clones (this was a tough one, but sand everywhere and Force Lady and the Tramp is still worst than Leia Poppins and Admiral evening gown)

I go back and forth in my rankings but at the end of the day, I always rank The Last Jedi as the worst SW movie. Why? For me, it always comes down to Attack of the Clones vs The Last Jedi but the reason I give AotC the edge is because at least it does have a few redeeming qualities:

1. The opening of the Clone Wars.
2. The political turmoil and Palpatine’s manipulations behind the scenes.

IMO, these make up for the atrocious “love” scenes between Anakin Stalkerwalker and Padme and put it ahead of TLJ. I honestly can’t think of a single redeeming quality of TLJ and it is the only SW movie I’ve only seen a single time.

 

[Starbuck1975]

Did I love the entire Canto Bight sequence? No. Did ROJ start with a not totally dissimilar side quest to rescue Han that takes up the first 20 some minutes of movie? Yup.

It’s very disimilar. Most people rank ESB as the best Star Wars movie because it ends with out heroes on the run, and establishes Darth Vader and the strength of the Empire as formidable opponents. One of the main characters gets captured, and the final dialogue of ESB sets up his rescue. The opening to RoTJ does a few things. It shows Luke’s growth as a Jedi but also an over confidence and arrogance that nearly caused him to fail. The sequence is core to the journey of several characters. It’s the sequence that gave us gold bikini Leia! The only thing Lucas screwed up was having Boba Fett go down like a chump.

Canto Blight was a McGuffin FedEx side quest in the tradition of the worst RPGs, and they freed some space horsies.

 

[Captante]

it always comes down to Attack of the Clones vs The Last Jedi but the reason I give AotC the edge is because at least it does have a few redeeming qualities:

1. The opening of the Clone Wars.
2. The political turmoil and Palpatine’s manipulations behind the scenes.

Also AOTC has some classic light-saber action and space/space-ship scenes ... along with some of the most wooden acting and downright lame dialogue ever.

 

[blankslate]

Yes I have fallen to the Dark Side and the hate for this movie flows through me....

but the memes so gud!

*e2a*
Just gotta remember the off switch for Force lightning lulz....


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[blankslate]

also....

Motley Fool article on the initial opening weekend Box Office and the chance that Rise of $h1t3$h0w might not make 1 billion...

Attention now turns to how Skywalker holds up in the coming weeks. Warner Bros.' Batman v Superman famously posted a massive $420 million global opening in 2016, but it wound up delivering just $872 million in lifetime ticket sales, and it's not unusual to see big drop-offs if word of mouth isn't strong. Episode IX (Skywalker) will still likely cross the $1 billion mark at the box office and surpass Rogue One's total, but that no longer seems like a given.

Just 57% of critics on Rotten Tomatoes have given the picture a favorable review score, while the audience approval score has held steadfast at roughly 86% even as tens of thousands of new reviews have poured in. This is starkly different from the critics/audience score breakdown for 2017's The Last Jedi on Rotten Tomatoes, which saw 91% approval from critics and a 43% approval score from audiences.

It's worth noting that Rotten Tomatoes changed its user-review scoring standards earlier this year, and aggregate user scores are lower on other platforms.

I saw Batman v Superman on the preview Thursday showings and thought that they put quite a lot into the movie that could have been saved for future films. It seems from the reviews I have watched/read that Rise of $hi1t3$h0w suffers a sort of similar problem. That is, being overstuffed with plot threads brought up then seemingly forgotten and such.


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[K1052]

It’s very disimilar. Most people rank ESB as the best Star Wars movie because it ends with out heroes on the run, and establishes Darth Vader and the strength of the Empire as formidable opponents. One of the main characters gets captured, and the final dialogue of ESB sets up his rescue. The opening to RoTJ does a few things. It shows Luke’s growth as a Jedi but also an over confidence and arrogance that nearly caused him to fail. The sequence is core to the journey of several characters. It’s the sequence that gave us gold bikini Leia! The only thing Lucas screwed up was having Boba Fett go down like a chump.

Canto Blight was a McGuffin FedEx side quest in the tradition of the worst RPGs, and they freed some space horsies.

ESB started with the heroes on the run. They weren't hanging out on Hoth for the climate. Then they got ran off the planet by the Empire so we're aware thing's aren't going great.

Han's longish rescue overall added little to the story and that's an opinion I've held well before ROS came out. It's basically like another movie started after it was wrapped up.

 

[Fanatical Meat]

Also AOTC has some classic light-saber action and space/space-ship scenes ... along with some of the most wooden acting and downright lame dialogue ever.

I found the saber battles in all the prequels too fast. Felt like the speed of the film was running on fast forward.
As a kid I never pictured saber battles as being so fast you can’t see what the hell is happening.
Yoda bouncing around like a beach ball was a huge disappointment.

 

[Fanatical Meat]

ESB started with the heroes on the run. They weren't hanging out on Hoth for the climate. Then they got ran off the planet by the Empire so we're aware thing's aren't going great.

Han's longish rescue overall added little to the story and that's an opinion I've held well before ROS came out.

Hans rescue was one of the highlights to me. Would have enjoyed even more of it.

 

[K1052]

Hans rescue was one of the highlights to me. Would have enjoyed even more of it.

2nd most boring part of Jedi for me besides the Ewoks.

 

[Starbuck1975]

ESB started with the heroes on the run. They weren't hanging out on Hoth for the climate. Then they got ran off the planet by the Empire so we're aware thing's aren't going great.

Han's longish rescue overall added little to the story and that's an opinion I've held well before ROS came out. It's basically like another movie started after it was wrapped up.

You can never have enough Han rescue. ROTJ actually best mimicks the Flash Gordon serials that inspired Lucas. Han rescue. Yoda death. Teddy bear picnic. Best fvcking space battle of all the Star Wars movie. More teddy bears.

 

[Starbuck1975]

I found the saber battles in all the prequels too fast. Felt like the speed of the film was running on fast forward.
As a kid I never pictured saber battles as being so fast you can’t see what the hell is happening.
Yoda bouncing around like a beach ball was a huge disappointment.

One of my biggest gripes of the prequels was the floor routine jedi theatrics. Qui-Gon probably best met my expectations of how a Jedi would act.

 

[randay]

The Plinkett review of The Phantom Menace is what put them on the map 10 years ago.

yeah i get it, i am familiar with the phenomenon. personally i dont give that kind of media any of my attention.

 

[K1052]

You can never have enough Han rescue. ROTJ actually best mimicks the Flash Gordon serials that inspired Lucas. Han rescue. Yoda death. Teddy bear picnic. Best fvcking space battle of all the Star Wars movie. More teddy bears.

Give me the middle and end of Jedi (sans Ewok parts). Could not possibly care less about the rest of it.

The SE version of the Jabba's palace scene at the beginning of Jedi are like somebody driving bamboo spikes under my fucking fingernails. I always FF now.

 

[Fanatical Meat]

One of my biggest gripes of the prequels was the floor routine jedi theatrics. Qui-Gon probably best met my expectations of how a Jedi would act.

Agreed his battle was slower and planned

 

[dainthomas]

I found the saber battles in all the prequels too fast. Felt like the speed of the film was running on fast forward.
As a kid I never pictured saber battles as being so fast you can’t see what the hell is happening.
Yoda bouncing around like a beach ball was a huge disappointment.

The Darth Maul/Qui Gon/Obi Wan fight at the end of Ep 1 was the best in any SW movie. No one will ever change my mind.

The ones in the original trilogy were universally terrible. As if elite space warrior-monks wielding laser swords would just stand in one spot and wave them around like dummies.

 

[Fanatical Meat]

The Darth Maul/Qui Gon/Obi Wan fight at the end of Ep 1 was the best in any SW movie. No one will ever change my mind.

The ones in the original trilogy were universally terrible. As if elite space warrior-monks wielding laser swords would just stand in one spot and wave them around like dummies.

Ending?
The Darth Maul fight was awesome. All the others sucked.
I much prefer the original than the prequel light saber battles. Best ones overall are absolutely in the current trillogy.

 

[Starbuck1975]

Yes I have fallen to the Dark Side and the hate for this movie flows through me....

but the memes so gud!

*e2a*
Just gotta remember the off switch for Force lightning lulz....


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I map Force Lighting to F1 and Force Resurrection to F2

 

[blankslate]

A drop in Disney Stock is not something one considers following the release of Rise of $h1t3$h0w... but this does put a smile on my face...

from the Barron's Article linked above.

Only for box-office juggernaut Walt Disney is a $175.5 million opening weekend haul considered a flop.

Yet Disney stock (DIS) is down 1% on Monday, versus a 0.1% rise for the S&P 500 index and a 0.4% gain for the Dow Jones Industrial Average.

I must thank Disney for giving me a good place to vent my frustrations built up from wading through the holiday crowds and one idiot (should have been swallowed) Mustang Driver who entered the freeway going to fast and spun out from the on-ramp across 2 lanes and ended up facing the wrong way thus forcing me to switch lanes to avoid a head on accident (the roads were still wet and emergency braking would have led to worse issues).


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[pauldun170]

The Darth Maul/Qui Gon/Obi Wan fight at the end of Ep 1 was the best in any SW movie. No one will ever change my mind.

The ones in the original trilogy were universally terrible. As if elite space warrior-monks wielding laser swords would just stand in one spot and wave them around like dummies.

Agree about the Maul fight being the best. From the score to choreography to the way McGregor conveyed emotion and intensity. Rest of the prequel fights were pretty flat.
For the 80's ROTJ was final fight was pretty good, it just seems dated now. ESB was nor about the duel, it was about the dynamic between characters. Overall, none of the fights were supposed to be some technical showcase. It was about characters

Meanwhile, the Obi-Wan Maul confrontation from Star Wars Rebels blows them all away.

 

[BudAshes]

I actually didn't hate this movie in the theater, but maybe my expectations were lowered so much by re-watching the last movie before I went. I think this movie could have been good if it didn't have to try and force in all the terrible story lines from the Last Jedi. The Last Jedi was such a turd.

I will have to see if I still like this one when I watch it at home as there were drunk people yelling at the screen and people threatening to fight them on top of a lot of misbehaving children at the theater I went too so it was pretty distracting.

I think it's hilarious that all these reviewers gave The Last Jedi such positive reviews and are now killing this movie. They spent 2 years disparaging misogynistic nerd culture as the reason the fans hated this movie. Nerds are not misogynistic, stupidest fucking narrative ever. Nerds are mostly kind people that treat women with respect. Cherry pick a few assholes that hate women and then blanket that over millions of Star Wars fans that hated the movie.

 

[paperfist]

And this is why I refuse to see the garbage. Disney can have its canon, but I have mine - I define SW as Episodes I-VI and I never thought I'd say this, but my continuation from those movies is the Zahn trilogy.

Episodes VII - IX are hot garbage and are nothing more than Disney's attempt to "Marvel-ize" the SW universe. JJ Abrams ruined Star Trek and now Star Wars. Congrats Disney! At least The Mandalorian and Clone Wars are great.

Please give us what we want now, Zahn and Thrawn! Hey if it’s one thing JJ is good at it’s mixing up time lines!