So our priest denied our daughter's baptism...

[Skillet49]

I'm surprised he wouldn't baptize your daughter, but I do know some priests that won't marry couples who don't regularly attend that Catholic Church. It sounds like you are planning on increasing your attendance so maybe you can make your case with that priest. If not, are there other Catholic churches by you? I was raised Catholic and this is exactly why my fiance and I are choosing to get married by a Lutheran pastor we know well instead of in a Catholic Church in my hometown because our feeling was if we have no intentions of going to a Catholic Church, it makes no sense for us to get married in one, just for sake of the tradition of it.

 

[IronWing]

You are totally wrong! In fact you are 100% wrong!!
There is something the priest does that allows somebody to administer baptisms and NO it is not done all the time!!

This her first Baptism and confirmation --- sorry the priest is the only person who can administer this besides the Bishop.

Actually, I am 100% correctomundo. Note Canon 861 §2:

in a case of necessity, any person who has the requisite intention may do so.

There are advantages to being born to a former Catholic nun. Also baptism =/= confirmation.










Since you are wondering, she never took final vows, and years passed between leaving the convent and the birth of her first child.

 

[PhineasJWhoopee]

I'm surprised he wouldn't baptize your daughter, but I do know some priests that won't marry couples who don't regularly attend that Catholic Church. It sounds like you are planning on increasing your attendance so maybe you can make your case with that priest. If not, are there other Catholic churches by you? I was raised Catholic and this is exactly why my fiance and I are choosing to get married by a Lutheran pastor we know well instead of in a Catholic Church in my hometown because our feeling was if we have no intentions of going to a Catholic Church, it makes no sense for us to get married in one, just for sake of the tradition of it.

Why not have a civil ceremony?

 

[Phokus]

If a McDonald's cashier tells you off, do you complain back at him? No, you go up the chain of command:

Cashier->Manager->Store Manager->Regional Manager .... -> CEO

Or in this case:
Priest -> Bishop -> Cardinal -> Pope.

I bet you won't even have to take it past the bishop. Hell, he might he spray the little girl himself, which would be way cooler than just getting it done by a priest. I mean if you're into that stuff.

Might want to rephrase that

 

[dwell]

Nothing a "donation" cannot handle.

 

[PieIsAwesome]

Just go to another church. My family pretty much never went to church, but one day my mother randomly decided she wanted me and my siblings to do the confirmation thing. So she found a church we have never been to before, did the confirmation, and never went back.

 

[amdhunter]

Nothing a "donation" cannot handle.

The OP isn't gay or 10 years old. What a dumb recommendation.

 

[MJinZ]

I'm kind of annoyed. The wife and I are Roman Catholic, and the reasoning was that we don't visit every week. I'll admit, we are pretty lax, we go on major religious holidays, probably about 6 times a year.

We fully intended on our daughter getting her baptism and eventually confirmation and attending fairly regularly while she is growing up. Yet we are actually being denied, and she is being punished because of our lack of attendance. I was baptized, confirmed and married at this parish too.

What I don't understand is that churches keep complaining about lack of parishioners, yet they push you away if you aren't dedicated to a weekly commitment.

wtf.

Sorry, I had to write this here to get it out, I'm still trying to cool down a bit before I email the priest back.

/rant

This is epic epic lulz.

I don't think epic is an epic enough word for the lulz.

 

[Pliablemoose]

Contact your local Bishop, ask them what you should do.

 

[Wyndru]

I'm sure no one wanted an update, but here it goes.

So I slept on it, and my wife and I discussed, and it looks like we are definitely going to meet with the priest tomorrow. I want to let him know my disgust with his email, and question why he would turn her away like that. Then we are going to explain that we plan on having better attendance while she is growing up (until she is old enough to say she doesn't like church), and maybe he will let us do the christening there. I'd rather just go somewhere else, but it's important to the wife and our family.

If the priest gives me attitude, I'll just punch him in the throat .

I'm going to hell for typing that.

 

[IronWing]

I'm sure no one wanted an update, but here it goes.

So I slept on it, and my wife and I discussed, and it looks like we are definitely going to meet with the priest tomorrow. I want to let him know my disgust with his email, and question why he would turn her away like that. Then we are going to explain that we plan on having better attendance while she is growing up (until she is old enough to say she doesn't like church), and maybe he will let us do the christening there. I'd rather just go somewhere else, but it's important to the wife and our family.

If the priest gives me attitude, I'll just punch him in the throat .

I'm going to hell for typing that.

Walk away Catholics in 3...2...1...

 

[NinjaTech]

I'm kind of annoyed. The wife and I are Roman Catholic, and the reasoning was that we don't visit every week. I'll admit, we are pretty lax, we go on major religious holidays, probably about 6 times a year.

We fully intended on our daughter getting her baptism and eventually confirmation and attending fairly regularly while she is growing up. Yet we are actually being denied, and she is being punished because of our lack of attendance. I was baptized, confirmed and married at this parish too.

What I don't understand is that churches keep complaining about lack of parishioners, yet they push you away if you aren't dedicated to a weekly commitment.

wtf.

Sorry, I had to write this here to get it out, I'm still trying to cool down a bit before I email the priest back.

/rant

So let's see if I understand? You want the priest who has hundreds of other loyal parishioners to take time from his extremely busy schedule and inconvenience himself for you. Yet, you can not bother to show up for church unless it is a holiday?

Of course the sole purpose of the church is to suit your needs. So it goes without saying that they should feel privileged that you even show up at all. Yes, I would feel furious too. How dare he. :\

Of course you fully intend to go to church when she grows up in a few years so that makes everything OK. :thumbsup:

 

[dwell]

The OP isn't gay or 10 years old. What a dumb recommendation.

I mean financial. I was denied being a godfather to my nephew, but $500 goes a long way to absolution.

 

[Wyndru]

So let's see if I understand? You want the priest who has hundreds of other loyal parishioners to take time from his extremely busy schedule and inconvenience himself for you. Yet, you can not bother to show up for church unless it is a holiday?

Of course the sole purpose of the church is to suit your needs. So it goes without saying that they should feel privileged that you even show up at all. Yes, I would feel furious too. How dare he. :\

Of course you fully intend to go to church when she grows up in a few years so that makes everything OK. :thumbsup:

Except churches are closing/merging because of shit like this, and priests are actually pushing people away. It doesn't make sense to me. There are VERY few people in my generation that I see at mass, it's all old people and young parents with their kids. This seems normal that we weren't there every week during our 20's, but as a new family I plan on being more active. In his email, he is basically saying we don't want you anymore because you haven't been around.

Oh, and regarding the taking time from other loyal parishioners, they have so many baptisms on sunday that they actually just line them up and do them off to the side, and put them up on a projector screen for the parish to watch. Even 3 or 4 of them can be knocked off in like 15 minutes. Mass isn't even extended.

 

[Bibble]

If you're at all interested in changing his mind in a non-confrontational manner, I would suggest finding out what hours he does confession and paying him a visit with your wife. I do not think there is a better way to convince him that you are sincere than using another sacrament to express your remorse for not attending church regularly and willingness to repent. I believe he pretty much has to give you absolution. Try asking him again sometime after that. Also, cutting a good sized check and putting it in the collection basket couldn't hurt.

If you are not sincere then just go to another church as others have suggested.

 

[Wyndru]

Also, cutting a good sized check and putting it in the collection basket couldn't hurt.

If you are not sincere then just go to another church as others have suggested.

We usually donate about $500 a year, but I hate "buying" into stuff like this. Not to mention the basket goes around 4 times during mass, so I give $5 each go-around, so $20 each mass. The basket passing actually cuts down mass time quite a bit too

 

[moshquerade]

I'm kind of annoyed. The wife and I are Roman Catholic, and the reasoning was that we don't visit every week. I'll admit, we are pretty lax, we go on major religious holidays, probably about 6 times a year.

We fully intended on our daughter getting her baptism and eventually confirmation and attending fairly regularly while she is growing up. Yet we are actually being denied, and she is being punished because of our lack of attendance. I was baptized, confirmed and married at this parish too.

What I don't understand is that churches keep complaining about lack of parishioners, yet they push you away if you aren't dedicated to a weekly commitment.

wtf.

Sorry, I had to write this here to get it out, I'm still trying to cool down a bit before I email the priest back.

/rant

What do you really expect? You're what they call a C & E Catholic. You only go to church on the major holidays.

I'm going to bet you want to have your daughter baptized not for her or for you, but for your parents, your wife's parents and other relatives who "expect" it of you.

You can either find another church/priest who will accommodate your request or let your daughter choose for herself when she gets older if she really wants to be Catholic.

Don't blame the priest for holding you to accountable standards.

 

[Bibble]

We usually donate about $500 a year, but I hate "buying" into stuff like this. Not to mention the basket goes around 4 times during mass, so I give $5 each go-around, so $20 each mass. The basket passing actually cuts down mass time quite a bit too

I agree with your sentiments. That being said, your generosity might be worth bringing up in your discussion. Also, if you are donating cash then there is really no way the parish knows its from you (unless you have self-addressed envelopes or something). A check guarantees they know who it's from.

 

[NinjaTech]

OK, I realize that was a little harsh. It sounds like you have good intentions and just want the best for your daughter. The only thing the priest wants from you is a commitment to attend church more regularly. Good luck.

 

[iGas]

What sin/s does your child have?

 

[Wyndru]

What do you really expect? You're what they call a C & E Catholic. You only go to church on the major holidays.

I'm going to bet you want to have your daughter baptized not for her or for you, but for your parents, your wife's parents and other relatives who "expect" it of you.

You can either find another church/priest who will accommodate your request or let your daughter choose for herself when she gets older if she really wants to be Catholic.

Don't blame the priest for holding you to accountable standards.

The many responses like this that I have seen makes me realize that many view church to be a sort of attendance required service. IMO it's a community that should welcome people regardless of their attendance, their social status or ability to "fund" them. Like I said before, I see very few people in their 20's in church when I go, even on "C and E", but more people in there 30's (with kids) or older. I shouldn't be punished because I didn't attend regularly.

 

[Wyndru]

I agree with your sentiments. That being said, your generosity might be worth bringing up in your discussion. Also, if you are donating cash then there is really no way the parish knows its from you (unless you have self-addressed envelopes or something). A check guarantees they know who it's from.

The envelopes we put the money in have a registration code on them that lets them know it came from us, but that is a good point, I should bring it up to him. I just feel greasy saying "we give you lots of money, you have to take care of us..."

 

[FelixDeCat]

Ive been a lifelong Catholic and have seen the trends change over the last 40 years. No more rubber stamp baptisms. More and more parishes are requiring weekly attendence to be baptized in the church.

This is not Burger King people. You CANT have it your way. The priest sets the rules of the parish and you need to play by them or find a rubber stamp church to your liking.

Now Im not going to represent myself as the worlds greatest parishioner either, I miss mass myself, but parents must do whats required to get your childs sacrements taken care of. Its a challenge, but a rewarding one. My nephew just finished being baptized and had his first confession and communion. It took about two years to complete.

 

[Wyndru]

but parents must do whats required to get your childs sacrements taken care of. Its a challenge, but a rewarding one. My nephew just finished being baptized and had his first confession and communion. It took about two years to complete.

I agree with this, and hopefully the priest will give us the opportunity to do so. In hindsight, I wish I knew the requirements when she was born 2 months ago, because we would have brought her to church every week screaming, wailing and pooping so we wouldn't have a problem now. My wife went twice since she was born (while I watched her), but I guess that doesn't really count. Unfortunately the priest was on vacation since June, so he wouldn't have seen her anyhow, and he didn't respond until yesterday. We should have just brought her anyway. Oh well, you live and you learn.

 

[FelixDeCat]

I agree with this, and hopefully the priest will give us the opportunity to do so. In hindsight, I wish I knew the requirements when she was born 2 months ago, because we would have brought her to church every week screaming, wailing and pooping so we wouldn't have a problem now.

Unfortunately the priest was on vacation since June, and he didn't respond until yesterday, but we should have just brought her anyway. Oh well, you live and you learn.

Ive taken other nephews through the process. One of them later married another Christian from an evangelical church. Since they cant agree on where to get the kids baptized, they are missing out. Their kids want to be baptized and bug their parents about it. Its cute to see them ask, but sad when you realize nothing is being done. He is also in the Army and moves around a lot so it makes it hard for them to find a church to join.

So you should be thankful you have a cooperative wife and just have to get it done. I wish you and your family well in this endeavor. Do whats required and dont look back. You will be glad you did.