Sex, dating, marriage, and the bible

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SagaLore

Elite Member
Dec 18, 2001
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81
Originally posted by: sao123
but... for unmarried people
1 Do you believe it is possible to hold hands without feeling lust?
2 Do you believe it is possible to kiss/french kiss without feeling lust?
3 Do you believe it is possible to neck/make out without feeling lust?
4 Do you believe it is possible for non penetrative mutual sexual stimulation (hands or orally) without feeling lust?
5 Do you believe it is possible for penetrative intercourse without feeling lust?

Nope. Modern definition of lust (webster):

usually intense or unbridled sexual desire

But how does marriage nullify lust?
 

TehMac

Diamond Member
Aug 18, 2006
9,976
3
71
Well,it doesn't, but thats not a bad thing. Why should it be? Lust is really only a bad thing, and the term really only applies to when you're unmarried and want to have sex with someone else. Once your married, spiritually, you are tied to that person. Therefore it is perfectly natural and acceptable to want them sexually, and in an internal bond. You do realize that this is one of those instances where we need to keep it real. One of the apostles says that it is futile to count your sins. Thats the whole message of Easter. Of course, one should refrain oneself from knowingly committing sin, but we know that it is useless to agonize about it. Just follow your conscience, and it'll help you out.
As a little more insight, "The Wages of Sin is death"
But through Jesus, we can overcome death, not on this earth, but on the everlasting one.
 

engineereeyore

Platinum Member
Jul 23, 2005
2,070
0
0
Originally posted by: SagaLore
Originally posted by: sao123
but... for unmarried people
1 Do you believe it is possible to hold hands without feeling lust?
2 Do you believe it is possible to kiss/french kiss without feeling lust?
3 Do you believe it is possible to neck/make out without feeling lust?
4 Do you believe it is possible for non penetrative mutual sexual stimulation (hands or orally) without feeling lust?
5 Do you believe it is possible for penetrative intercourse without feeling lust?

Nope. Modern definition of lust (webster):

usually intense or unbridled sexual desire

But how does marriage nullify lust?

I don't think marriage does nullify lust. Lust can be had at any time under any circumstances. But if you marry someone, you are no longer lusting after them in a wrong way. You're now married, so what you're feeling is not longer forbidden lust. I have a strong sexual desire towards my wife, but that's ok. A sexual relationship is allowed to be a part of my relationship with my wife.

Even though you're married doesn't mean you can't/won't lust after another person though. I think the verse is only meant to imply your lust towards the person you married.

As for the questions, I think it's very possible to hold hands and even kiss someone without lusting after them. Necking, or making out, tend to draw you closer to that line and should therefore not be done or be done very cautiously. The other 2 I think would cross the line.
 

SagaLore

Elite Member
Dec 18, 2001
24,036
21
81
Originally posted by: engineereeyore
But if you marry someone, you are no longer lusting after them in a wrong way.

This is where it gets weird. The only difference between before and after is a legal contract. I don't think God is a Lawyer.
 

TehMac

Diamond Member
Aug 18, 2006
9,976
3
71
Originally posted by: SagaLore
Originally posted by: engineereeyore
But if you marry someone, you are no longer lusting after them in a wrong way.

This is where it gets weird. The only difference between before and after is a legal contract. I don't think God is a Lawyer.

Before marriage was really a legal thing, marriage was a holy thing, where spiritually "a son would leave his mother and father and become one with his wife"

Here's my question: Is Masturbation a sin?
 

engineereeyore

Platinum Member
Jul 23, 2005
2,070
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Originally posted by: TehMac
Originally posted by: SagaLore
Originally posted by: engineereeyore
But if you marry someone, you are no longer lusting after them in a wrong way.

This is where it gets weird. The only difference between before and after is a legal contract. I don't think God is a Lawyer.

Before marriage was really a legal thing, marriage was a holy thing, where spiritually "a son would leave his mother and father and become one with his wife"

That's very true. Marriage, at least Biblically, began with Adam and Eve and had nothing to do with legality. God sanctioned the union between Adam and Eve and gave them the commandment to multiply. Sex is not a bad thing and should never be portrayed as such, but it has its place, and that place is in a relationship between people married people.

Here's my question: Is Masturbation a sin?

I think so, though I know many will disagree.
 

alkemyst

No Lifer
Feb 13, 2001
83,769
19
81
Before we disagree, let us know how adam and eve panned out. However, that story is told outside christianity as well in other religions.

Also please explain their wedding; you can pick any religion that discusses that story. I don't think marriage was born for many many many years later.

Next explain incest between their offspring.

*blink blink*

 

SagaLore

Elite Member
Dec 18, 2001
24,036
21
81
Originally posted by: alkemyst
Also please explain their wedding; you can pick any religion that discusses that story. I don't think marriage was born for many many many years later.

Next explain incest between their offspring.

Ah, you beat me to it. :p
 

engineereeyore

Platinum Member
Jul 23, 2005
2,070
0
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Originally posted by: alkemyst
Before we disagree, let us know how adam and eve panned out. However, that story is told outside christianity as well in other religions.

Also please explain their wedding; you can pick any religion that discusses that story. I don't think marriage was born for many many many years later.

Next explain incest between their offspring.

*blink blink*

Marriage of Adam and Eve
Gen. 2:24 - Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh.

Now I may be making an assumption, but at least Biblically, there were no other men or women around, so the only ones available to be man and wife were Adam and Eve. Thus, this becomes a record of there marriage.

Not exactly sure what you mean by how they panned out. Could you be more specific?

As for incest, I'm fairly positive that if God can create two people, he can remove the problems of incest when necessary. The same problem would have existed with the children of Noah after the flood as well, and I'm sure he could have done the same thing then.
 

SagaLore

Elite Member
Dec 18, 2001
24,036
21
81
Originally posted by: engineereeyore
Marriage of Adam and Eve
Gen. 2:24 - Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh.

Now I may be making an assumption, but at least Biblically, there were no other men or women around, so the only ones available to be man and wife were Adam and Eve. Thus, this becomes a record of there marriage.

In Gen 2:23-24, the Hebrew word "issa" actually means "women", not "wife".

As for incest, I'm fairly positive that if God can create two people, he can remove the problems of incest when necessary. The same problem would have existed with the children of Noah after the flood as well, and I'm sure he could have done the same thing then.

I think he was actually referring to Adam having sex with his daughters.
 

Luthien

Golden Member
Feb 1, 2004
1,721
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Back then man could live for a thousand years so they had better genetics so they had enough genetic diversity built into adam and eve to foster the entire human race and that includes noah and his family although having less genetic efficacy than adam and eve it was still potent compaired to man today.

Yeah, I just made that up.

Adam and eve had 23,000 pairs chromosomes instead of todays 23 pairs. A lot of extra information allowing for a lot of diversity.

:)
 

engineereeyore

Platinum Member
Jul 23, 2005
2,070
0
0
Originally posted by: SagaLore
In Gen 2:23-24, the Hebrew word "issa" actually means "women", not "wife".

Even if that were the correct translation, look at the verse. It's rather clear what's being talked about. At what other point in time in the life of an individual does he leave his parents, cleave unto another person, and become one with them?

I think he was actually referring to Adam having sex with his daughters.

I'm unfamiliar with such an idea. Is there something that leads you to believe this is/was the case?
 

sao123

Lifer
May 27, 2002
12,656
207
106
Originally posted by: SagaLore
Originally posted by: engineereeyore
But if you marry someone, you are no longer lusting after them in a wrong way.

This is where it gets weird. The only difference between before and after is a legal contract. I don't think God is a Lawyer.

I dont know that he is either, but what of the required monogamous female commitment not forced upon the males? Marriage could be seen as the measure of enforcement of that requirement.
 

SagaLore

Elite Member
Dec 18, 2001
24,036
21
81
Originally posted by: sao123
I dont know that he is either, but what of the required monogamous female commitment not forced upon the males? Marriage could be seen as the measure of enforcement of that requirement.

Monogamous marriages were certainly not a requirement. Both David and Solomon had quite a few wives and concubines.
 

SagaLore

Elite Member
Dec 18, 2001
24,036
21
81
Originally posted by: engineereeyore
Even if that were the correct translation, look at the verse. It's rather clear what's being talked about. At what other point in time in the life of an individual does he leave his parents, cleave unto another person, and become one with them?

When its time to make babies. What you consider "clear" is your modern day perspective on relationships. Don't ignore the true context of the verse.
 

alkemyst

No Lifer
Feb 13, 2001
83,769
19
81
Originally posted by: SagaLore
Originally posted by: engineereeyore
Marriage of Adam and Eve
Gen. 2:24 - Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh.

Now I may be making an assumption, but at least Biblically, there were no other men or women around, so the only ones available to be man and wife were Adam and Eve. Thus, this becomes a record of there marriage.

In Gen 2:23-24, the Hebrew word "issa" actually means "women", not "wife".

As for incest, I'm fairly positive that if God can create two people, he can remove the problems of incest when necessary. The same problem would have existed with the children of Noah after the flood as well, and I'm sure he could have done the same thing then.

I think he was actually referring to Adam having sex with his daughters.

incest does not equal birth defects always. It's used commonly in animal breeding to enhance certain traits.
 

GagHalfrunt

Lifer
Apr 19, 2001
25,284
1,998
126
Why do I need scripture? If sex before marriage is okay for priests than it's okay for the rest of us.
 

sao123

Lifer
May 27, 2002
12,656
207
106
Originally posted by: SagaLore
Originally posted by: sao123
I dont know that he is either, but what of the required monogamous female commitment not forced upon the males? Marriage could be seen as the measure of enforcement of that requirement.

Monogamous marriages were certainly not a requirement. Both David and Solomon had quite a few wives and concubines.

if you read some of my earlier points... I said that it seemed that wives were forced to be monogomous (except in the case of being a widow & remarrying), while the men were permitted multiplwe wives. So, marriage could be seen as a way to enforce single partners (in quantity) for females.
 

SagaLore

Elite Member
Dec 18, 2001
24,036
21
81
Originally posted by: alkemyst
incest does not equal birth defects always. It's used commonly in animal breeding to enhance certain traits.

We're not really discussing the problems of incest - we're showing that Adam had sex with multiple women.
 

engineereeyore

Platinum Member
Jul 23, 2005
2,070
0
0
Originally posted by: SagaLore
Originally posted by: engineereeyore
Even if that were the correct translation, look at the verse. It's rather clear what's being talked about. At what other point in time in the life of an individual does he leave his parents, cleave unto another person, and become one with them?

When its time to make babies. What you consider "clear" is your modern day perspective on relationships. Don't ignore the true context of the verse.

Nothing in that verse implies sex. Matter of fact, Christ describes the idea of being 'one' as the way a husband should be with his wife (in the new testament, i can get a reference if wanted). Besides, cleaving to someone means to remain faithful to them. What does that have to do with having a child? It really seems to point more towards a relationship, not making children, but that's JMO.
 

alkemyst

No Lifer
Feb 13, 2001
83,769
19
81
Originally posted by: SagaLore
Originally posted by: alkemyst
incest does not equal birth defects always. It's used commonly in animal breeding to enhance certain traits.

We're not really discussing the problems of incest - we're showing that Adam had sex with multiple women.

I was replying to someone else's question. It's not all about you.
 

thepd7

Diamond Member
Jan 2, 2005
9,423
0
0
In reference to the whole marraige/contract lust thing:

I believe the point is if you are marrying someone you love them in a Godly way and therefore the sexual attraction to them after you are married is no longer lustful desire of the flesh but a loving expression of the heart, sanctioned by God.

That being said, in the new testament it does mention married couples and sex in that there are some times when you can be having too much sex, even when married. This would be when that is the focus of your relationship and you cannot control yourselves over an extended period of time.


In reference to this question:
Originally posted by: TehMac
Originally posted by: SagaLore
Originally posted by: engineereeyore
But if you marry someone, you are no longer lusting after them in a wrong way.

This is where it gets weird. The only difference between before and after is a legal contract. I don't think God is a Lawyer.

Before marriage was really a legal thing, marriage was a holy thing, where spiritually "a son would leave his mother and father and become one with his wife"

Here's my question: Is Masturbation a sin?
This goes back to my points about the intent of the heart and mind. If in your mind there are impure thoughts you are committing a sin. I can't personally see how someone could masturbate and not be thinking lustful so I would say in general it is a sin.
 

SagaLore

Elite Member
Dec 18, 2001
24,036
21
81
Originally posted by: alkemyst
Originally posted by: SagaLore
Originally posted by: alkemyst
incest does not equal birth defects always. It's used commonly in animal breeding to enhance certain traits.

We're not really discussing the problems of incest - we're showing that Adam had sex with multiple women.

I was replying to someone else's question. It's not all about you.

Sorry about that. I must have missed the initial question when you first brought up incest.
 

bleeb

Lifer
Feb 3, 2000
10,868
0
0
Originally posted by: HotChic
Huh, this is the second time in two days this question has been asked to me, interestingly enough.

I think that you could probably extrapolate a lot from the Old Testament examples if you tried hard enough and took enough things out of context. The problem is, there's simply no wiggle room in the New Testament at all.

NT example:
1 Cor 7:9 But if they cannot control themselves, they should marry, for it is better to marry than to burn with passion.

Does this mean that once you get married, your passion will get quenched and you will desire no longer? Seems to happen in a lot of marriages these days.
 

SagaLore

Elite Member
Dec 18, 2001
24,036
21
81
Originally posted by: bleeb
Originally posted by: HotChic
NT example:
1 Cor 7:9 But if they cannot control themselves, they should marry, for it is better to marry than to burn with passion.

Does this mean that once you get married, your passion will get quenched and you will desire no longer? Seems to happen in a lot of marriages these days.

Here is what it says from a variety of translations/interpretations:

NASB: But if they do not have self-control, let them marry; for it is better to marry than to burn with passion.
GWT: However, if you cannot control your desires, you should get married. It is better for you to marry than to burn with sexual desire.
KJV: But if they cannot contain, let them marry: for it is better to marry than to burn.
ASV: But if they have not continency, let them marry: for it is better to marry than to burn.
BBE: But if they have not self-control let them get married; for married life is better than the burning of desire.
DBY: But if they have not control over themselves, let them marry; for it is better to marry than to burn.
WEY: If, however, they cannot maintain self-control, by all means let them marry; for marriage is better than the fever of passion.
WBS: But if they cannot contain, let them marry: for it is better to marry than to burn.
WEB: But if they don't have self-control, let them marry. For it's better to marry than to burn.
YLT: and if they have not continence -- let them marry, for it is better to marry than to burn;
GSB: 7:9 But if they cannot contain, let them marry: for it is better to marry than to {g} burn.
PNT: 7:9 But if they cannot contain, let them marry. If the unmarried and widowed cannot control their desires, it is best to marry.

The greek verb pyrousthai, related to pyr (fire), means "burn" or "be enflamed," and is figurative to mean "sexual desire."

It is important to note that in verse 9, Paul is stating his opinion. In verse 10, he makes it clear that his next statement is a command from God. Then again in verse 11, he also makes it clear that his statement is his (Paul's) opinion.