911paramedic
Diamond Member
- Jan 7, 2002
- 9,448
- 1
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Geekbabe
Moderator Emeritus<br>Elite Member
There is a huge difference between a generic,slightly risque joke told in the workplace(dependent upon your workplace's culture) and speculating aloud that one's co-worker or supervisor got their job via giving blowjobs.As to the compliant to HR instead of confronting you directly,your co-workers was not only within her rights to complain to HR but was also probably following company policy and procedure in doing so.At most jobs with HR depart's employees are usually actively discouraged from direct confrontations..that's what HR is for.
Exactly.
I just went to sexual harrassment training at work. 2 1/2 hrs long and it covered several types of incidents.
A joke like that, no matter how well-intentioned it was to make people laugh, can be considered harrassment if one person finds it offensive.
However, I'm not so sure that being written up was called for. The offended person should have gone to the mgr, stated her case and the manager could have dealt with it on a more personal level. Saying if it happened again or became a pattern, then disciplinary steps would be taken. Sounds like the mgr freaked and was thinking lawsuit and took a more drastic approach to a solution for a 1st-time offense. It's when patterns of harrassing behaviour are exhibited that lawsuits are brought about. This is far from that.
Geekbabe
Moderator Emeritus<br>Elite Member
You can "think" anything you'd like but what you say can and will be subject to corporate policy and procedure.Btw,accounting is probably just as tired of know nothing idiots in IT who think they are better than everybody else.
And that's the best part of all
We've now completely quit trying to even pretend we're adults and now we just run and cry to whoever it is will bring the hammer when we get offended. Super.You know, I used to sit back and think when I was a little kid (most of us did) about how cool it would be when I was finally a grown up adult. Now I am, and I find out I'm about the only fvcking one in this country. What a rip :|
I don't see how there is a problem with the entire situation. You still have your job, no one was hurt and no one is getting a lawsuit.
Take the lesson from this and stop being bitter that you didn't choose your words or statements more carefully.
Take the lesson from this and stop being bitter that you didn't choose your words or statements more carefully.
Geekbabe
Moderator Emeritus<br>Elite Member
Originally posted by: flxnimprtmscl
And that's the best part of all
You know, I used to sit back and think when I was a little kid (most of us did) about how cool it would be when I was finally a grown up adult. Now I am, and I find out I'm about the only fvcking one in this country. What a rip :|
let's see, female co-worker approaches the oringinal poster and tells him his comment offended her,original poster responds by minizing and rationalizing his behavior and implying that it's the female co-worker who has the problem... situation escalates,tensions develop that spill over onto other workers,soon productivity and workplace atmosphere suffer.This kind of thing can easily escalate to an ugly mess that negatively effects a company's bottom line
A complaint made to HR results in the complained about employee being privately advised as to what is/is not acceptable behavior in that company,if the OP has a cross complaint he is also within his rights to have HR address the issue.
Originally posted by: Geekbabe
Originally posted by: flxnimprtmscl
And that's the best part of all
You know, I used to sit back and think when I was a little kid (most of us did) about how cool it would be when I was finally a grown up adult. Now I am, and I find out I'm about the only fvcking one in this country. What a rip :|
let's see, female co-worker approaches the oringinal poster and tells him his comment offended her,original poster responds by minizing and rationalizing his behavior and implying that it's the female co-worker who has the problem... situation escalates,tensions develop that spill over onto other workers,soon productivity and workplace atmosphere suffer.This kind of thing can easily escalate to an ugly mess that negatively effects a company's bottom line
A complaint made to HR results in the complained about employee being privately advised as to what is/is not acceptable behavior in that company,if the OP has a cross complaint he is also within his rights to have HR address the issue.
Ah, gotcha. Because we already know beyond alll doubt that the op in question would never listen politely to her comments and perhaps, appologized for offendning her. That's not possible. Maybe it the op was a woman instead of a man but a man just isn't capable of admiting he's wrong. At least that's the impression you seem to give. The woman is rational, the man isn't.
And frankly, were it me, I'd be much more offended and more likely to be the source of developing "tensions" if someone was to go to hr without even talking to me. I've said stupid things before but I pride myself on being a pretty reasonable person and I am usually willing to listen to another person's views. Consequently I've never had a problem with a co-worker that couldn't be resolved between us to the satisfaction of both parties. I guess most people just aren't capable of that though.
Geekbabe
Moderator Emeritus<br>Elite Member
Originally posted by: flxnimprtmscl
Originally posted by: Geekbabe
Originally posted by: flxnimprtmscl
And that's the best part of all
You know, I used to sit back and think when I was a little kid (most of us did) about how cool it would be when I was finally a grown up adult. Now I am, and I find out I'm about the only fvcking one in this country. What a rip :|
let's see, female co-worker approaches the oringinal poster and tells him his comment offended her,original poster responds by minizing and rationalizing his behavior and implying that it's the female co-worker who has the problem... situation escalates,tensions develop that spill over onto other workers,soon productivity and workplace atmosphere suffer.This kind of thing can easily escalate to an ugly mess that negatively effects a company's bottom line
A complaint made to HR results in the complained about employee being privately advised as to what is/is not acceptable behavior in that company,if the OP has a cross complaint he is also within his rights to have HR address the issue.
Ah, gotcha. Because we already know beyond alll doubt that the op in question would never listen politely to her comments and perhaps, appologized for offendning her. That's not possible. Maybe it the op was a woman instead of a man but a man just isn't capable of admiting he's wrong. At least that's the impression you seem to give. The woman is rational, the man isn't.
And frankly, were it me, I'd be much more offended and more likely to be the source of developing "tensions" if someone was to go to hr without even talking to me. I've said stupid things before but I pride myself on being a pretty reasonable person and I am usually willing to listen to another person's views. Consequently I've never had a problem with a co-worker that couldn't be resolved between us to the satisfaction of both parties. I guess most people just aren't capable of that though.
The point is this.Approaching HR for assistance rather than direct confrontation is the established method of resolving this kind of problem in many companies.As to the OP it's pretty clear to me that he had no clue as to why his remark would have been viewed as offensive to anyone,indeed he was pretty much only concerned that HR got involved,I highly doubt much good would have come from direct confrontation in this situation.
i did once for yelling at some girl because she was trying to change herself some settings on her computer
I told her she was retarded
they thought I was a macho
I still don't get how this is sexual related
oh well
I told her she was retarded
they thought I was a macho
I still don't get how this is sexual related
oh well
tell HR that she made some nasty comment to you, get her written up, its not like they check up on this stuff
Dogg
Dogg
Exactly. Women wany equality just as long as it works in their favor. If you leave a women to do all the things that she's totally capable of, even the little things, then you're not being chivalrous. Just because you treated them like a man, not some antiquated version of a women.
Chivalry died the day equality was recognized. :disgust:
-- Jack
Do you know why they call it "PMS"? Because "Mad Cow Disease" was taken
-- unknown, presumed dead
Never been written up, but was spoken too by the security manager when I worked at JC Penney.
I was talking with one of the female employees and WE were discussing sex. NOT just me, it was a 2-way converstation....
Anyway, a couple of days later the security manager comes over to me and tells me I should watch myself and my topics of discussion.
I've always thought this became a big deal because the chick I was talking too was dating one of the other security guys at the store... :\
I was talking with one of the female employees and WE were discussing sex. NOT just me, it was a 2-way converstation....
Anyway, a couple of days later the security manager comes over to me and tells me I should watch myself and my topics of discussion.
I've always thought this became a big deal because the chick I was talking too was dating one of the other security guys at the store... :\
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